Choices and Consequences
by lulupetts
Summary: Derek loves Emily that loves Aaron, so how this is going to be? Will Derek be able to change her feelings? Will Aaron even notice her feelings? Morgan/Prentiss/Hotch
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everybody. I'm a big fan of Criminal minds. This story is in my mind for a long time because I really can see Emily with Morgan and I really can see her with Hotch, so I decided put it on line and share with you guys. I'll try to put it in english but sorry for the mistakes because English in not my first language. I really hope you be able to understand it, and enjoy!**

It was a saturday night and Emily was at home, no cases for the weekend. She was very comfortable wearing her pajamas and watching some old series on tv; totally closed in her particular world with her feelings for Aaron Hotcher very well locked under seven keys inside some very big box that she hardly tried to send to Neptune, which use to be the most distant planet from earth, specially now he happens to be dating Beth.

Suddenly her cell phone started to ring; she thought to herself: oh... I don't know if I wanted it to be a case so I can be next to him fully saturday night, but if it is a case means some kind of traged...

So, she looked at the her phone just to see Morgan's picture. She sighed deeply a kind of relieved.

"Hey Morgan". She said.

"Hi Prentiss, what's up?" He asked.

"What's up what?" She asked back, with an interrogation expression in her face.

"What are you doing?" He asked more specifically.

She laughed: "You calling me... on a saturday night? very funny, what's the joke, Morgan?" She said smiling.

"Well, actually, there is no joke, I'm around, in your neighborhood, and I was thinking if you are at home and maybe we could have a talk and..." His voice decreasing and he stopped talking as he was feeling that he is going to get lost in his words. Indeed, he already was in front of her condo.

"Yeah Morgan, looks like today is your lucky day, I am at home". She answered.

At this point, Morgan felt his heart racing. He was not sure what to say, he was not sure what he was doing in there; he had no specific plans, he had no idea what would happen, he just knew he wanted to see her, completely lost in his actions but completely sure of his feelings.

She quickly changed her clothes for a gym pants and a comfortable tshirt. She opened the door for him, smiled at him and stretched out her arm as a gesture of invitation indicating the direction of the living room. He smiled back, and without exchanging a word he went into the living room.

"So, what brings you here on a saturday night? Got dumped from all your date girls?" She asked in a joke tone. And added: "Want something to drink? Coffee, tea, a beer? Make yourself confortable..."

As he sat on the end of the small couch and:

"No, thanks, I don't want drink". Completely ignoring her others questions.

"ooooooookkkkkkkk". She said as she sat on the bigger couch, turning off the tv.

"What's going on Morgan? You are acting strange, where is the biggest smile in the world?"

Emily was used to his big smile and his jokes all the time; except when they are on a case, Morgan always used to seem the happier person in the world.

"I think I have a problem ...," he said.

"Oh.. Morgan...Everyone has problems..."

"I'm in love with someone". He said, looking at her.

Her first reaction was laugh, but, immediately, as she looked at him, she could see a little pain in his eyes, and thought to herself: 'he wanted someone to open himself, that's what friends are for'. So, she opened her mouth again in an "O" and said:

"Oh, and that sounds like a totally new territory for you, uh?" with a soft voice and a very little smile.

"Actually, the new territory is to assume it for myself"… he said almost mourning.

"Who's the lucky girl?" She asked having absolutely no idea it was just HER.

Of course he wanted to say: 'YOU'! Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, he looked down and started to answer with his smile on his face while really think about each word he was saying, and really meaning them:

"She is the most incredible woman in the world, she is amazing, she is funny, she is gorgeous, she is hot, she can smile with her eyes, she is smart, sensible..."

And he said a lot more good adjectives describing her, and while he was saying she opened and opened her mouth and opened and opened her eyes for each word he said. When he finally stopped talking, she added with a surprise face:

"Morgan, you are really in love, buddy!"

He just looked at her thinking if she had any idea he was talking about her. But actually she had no idea. She asked:

"So, tell me about her, let's profile her and see if I can help you with this; where does she do?"

"She works for FBI as an agent". And he looked at her again.

She, in one of the rare moments, closed her mouth. At that point she still had no idea he was talking about her. She really thought to herself that he may have known this woman in the field somewhere.

"And she lives far from here?" She asked.

"No, she... lives... just... here". He shot slowly looking at her.

She opened her mouth again: "O". She got a little apprehensive, thinking to herself: 'what did he really mean by "here", "here"="my home" or "here"="DC".'

Shaking these thoughts out of her mind, with an increasing interrogation face and very dry mouth,she asked:

"If she lives here and work for FBI then... (she stopped talking, looking for the right words in her mind)... then... Do I know her?"

He let out a shy smile and no looking at her, he answered:

Morgan wasn't shy at all; but this was a very dificult situation for him.

"Yeah. You definitely know her".

Emily started to get a serious and careful tone on her voice, as she plucked up courage and ask:

"Does she work at BAU?"

He again let out another bitter smile and still no looking at her, he answered:

"Yeah".

At this point Emily's heart began to accelerate, and she started to breath heavily, as she very slowly asks showing already an enormous fear of his answer:

"Is...she...blonde...?" She asked thinking about Garcia or JJ.

Emily's heart almost out the mouth waiting for the answer with a little "o" in her completely dry mouth, looking at him.

Her expression was very very worried and her breathing was very heavy.

He finally pulled over on the couch, took a deep look in her eyes and answered:

"No, she is NOT blonde".

Emily "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO" thought to herself: 'damn it, that leaves: ME', and Emily's mouth down even more on a big "O", with her eyes full of surprise. She stayed like this for a few seconds that seemed hours, looking at him, and him looking at her, as if they were trying to read each others thoughts through their eyes. Taking a deep breath, she remained in the same tone and said:

"What is stopping you from telling her?"

Looking down, breathing deeply and looking at her again, he said:

"Only because she is love with someone else"...

These last words fell like a bomb on Emily's head: 'wait, he knows about my super, hyper, ultra, mega hidden feelings for Hotch? how come?' Emily began to shrink on the couch and starts to panic internally; nevertheless, she took another deep breath, and went back to "game", looking at him, she asked back:

"How can you be so sure about that?" Almost whispering.

"Come on, we, as a profilers, see things even when and where we don't want to."

"But you hide very well your feelings"... Emily said sarcastically.

"I hide in jokes and flirtations, and they all mix up with my real feelings. And, Emily, you must know when we are in love with someone we pay attention just in this person, I'm pretty sure this person who I love knows almost everything about the man she is in love, even he being the most closed book in the universe, because she has her eyes only on him, as I have on her..."

Emily down her eyes and stayed quiet for a while, thinking to herself that there was no way she disagree with him about what he just said.

As she stayed like this, he knew she was feeling extremely uncomfortable and he could feel that she wanted to get away from there to a place that she would not feel so exposed as he just had made her feel. And she was really feeling invaded. Although she has not confirmed anything about her feelings for Hotch, she knew he was right. And she knew she could not deny, and even her silence confirmed everything. So, he said:

"I think I should go..."

She could feel a little despair and a scream for help in his voice but she simply could not help. That was a totally unexpected situation for her: her best friend in love with her, her best friend knowing she was in love with Hotcher that happens to be their boss. And now? Now what?... How things are going to be? As she freak with these questions at the same time in her mind, she answered:

"Yeah... you should probably go." in an almost sad tone, trying, in vain, to find some salivain in her completely dry mouth. She needed to think. She really needed to think.

As she said that, they got up from the couch and walked to the front door, he in the front. He reached the door and waited for her to open it. She opened the door and he went away, giving her a little smile and she swallowing. But before he reached the first step down the star (he just wanted vanish from there, no way wait for elevator), he heard:

"Derek?" She called him from the door.

He stopped where he was, without moving, just taking a curious look to her in response.

"Maybe, one day, I think you could have a chance with her..." Emily said with a little smile, as he shyly smiled back.

He, Derek Morgan, shy? Wow that was really a new territory for him!

As she closed the door, she told loudly to herself: 'oh Emily, who are you trying to fool', bitingh her lips. Now she had a new mission: bye hundreds of new imaginary boxes to put each piece of information that she just received, lock them up and put them on the roof top of her mind.

'Well at least I have the whole Sunday to do it'. She definitely did not want to deal with it now.

Morgan drove back to his place feeling better, he could not stand it anymore, hold that feeling for himself, he was about to explode, even if he had no idea what was going to happen forward, he had no regrets about he had just done.

**Well, this is it. I Please, review and maybe help me to write this story and a great end for this.**


	2. Chapter 2

Monday morning Emily came into the BAU office reminding herself that the Saturday night events were well sealed in her mind boxes boxes, very well hidden and locked, it could not be brought in here, not in the BAU, and certainly Morgan would want bring them too. So, she stayed pounding in her head: 'Compartmentalize! Compartmentalize! Compartmentalize!' Then she took a deep breath and went to take some coffee. From the small kitchen in the BAU she looked toward to the Hotch's office, of course, he already was there. He was always first to arrive. Immediately Emily thought to herself: 'I can not look at him, not here, not anymore, I'm being watched, Emily stop it, stop doing that!' Shaking these thoughts she turned to go back to your desk just to see Derek staring at her. Obviously he saw her looking at Hotch's office. She immediately bowed her head, walked to her desk through Morgan and dropped a 'Morning', without looking at him. She was thoughtful and concerned about 'how things would go from here? 'Will I be able to handle it? Pretend that nothing happened, well, you know what? I will not worry about it now! This is all his fault, he was the one that started it all, and I do not confirmed anything, I could let him ramble about his assumptions'.  
"Morning." Morgan said back. He was ready to handle it all, at least he will try to get on with things the way they always were and just wait for her, clutching it in that last sentence of that blessed Saturday night. He was patient, and was relieved: at least now she knew everything.

"How was your Sunday?" he asked.

"Normal, I went for a walk then prepared something to eat, spent the afternoon watching movies ... pretty normal stuff. What about you?"

"Well, I was feeling so light that I went for a walk in morning and when I realized it was already late afternoon..."  
Meanwhile Reid arrived, greeting them all and went straight to his desk. JJ called everyone to the meeting room, which was Rossi, and when they were climbing the stairs toward the room, Hotch left his room with his usual cold "Good Morning" to everybody, Emily thought to herself: 'don't look at him, don't look at him, don't look at him' ... when she heard:

"Prentiss?" Hotch called her.

She looked. Defeat face.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm okay ..." She said thinking to thought to herself: 'gee, he could not have realized that I'm avoiding looking at him. Calm Prentiss, this is just the first day, things will settle in, calm down, you'll do well, will be able to cope with the fact of your best friend being in love with you and controlling everything you do, your steps, looks, gestures .. . Oh! Not now headache… the last thing I need…'

In the plane returning from a really difficult case that forced the team to be gone for five days, they all were closed in their own world. Emily took a look at everyone, JJ was sleeping on the coach, she looked like in peace, she had who come back for: Henry and Will; Reid was sleeping too in the chair in front of her, Rossi was talking to Hotch, Rossi had nobody to come back for but, in his case, it was a choice, Hotch of course must be yearning to come back for Jack and Beth, he must be in really in love with her'… When she looked at Morgan, he was with his usual headphones looking out of the window of the plane. She thought, 'Dear God, why can not I fall in love with him to make things easier for me, even though the love affair between team members was not allowed, at least they would know how to deal with it. Why do I have once again dealing with feelings? Why Morgan had to make me access this part of my life witch I spend so much sacrifice and manage to send to Jupiter. Oh God what am I gonna do now?' her mind was accelerated...  
When they were back to Quantico was around 11 o'clock friday night, everyone was tired, even exhausted, Emily was keeping the papers work and taking her bag to leave as she heard:

"Hi my delicious chocolate" ... Garcia played with Morgan

"Hi baby girl, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you have plans for tomorrow night and if you were not maybe we could repeat that night, huh?" Garcia said.

"Oh, I don't have any plans Garcia, but I'm pretty sure we can not repeat that night; I'm not in the mood, sorry…"

Ok.. Garcia said in a worried tone, and looking he going out toward the elevator, thinking to herself: "This definitely is not the Morgan I know," then she looked at Emily and:

"You know what happened to him?"

"Me? Why would I know? And I do not think there's anything wrong with him, we're all just too tired ..." Emily said trying to hide her concern.

"Ok" Garcia said, and turned to leave.

"Hey Pen, what the two of you did in the other night?"

"I'm sure you will not want to know"...

"Now I'm completely sure I want to know," Emily said curiously.

"Well, there was not much, about a two weeks ago, I was at my place, he arrived with a bottle of wine, was a Saturday night, we talked, watched some movie, talked almost all night, but ... when I awoke in the morning he was gone. " Garcia said with a sad face.

Emily thought to herself: 'why this sad face', maybe it means that Garcia wanted something more with Morgan than those listed games? no! It can't be happening, Will I still have an inch of my brain vacated in order to figure this out right now? I do not know, but I'll find it out right now. ' Then she told:

"Garcia, You and Morgan are always playing with each other and saying hot things all the time, but really, do you feel something real for him, I mean romantically?"

Garcia startled by the question so directly. She took a breath and said:

"Well, I'm putting off having to connect with this issue, I prefer to continue like this, as a friend that love each other instead to try to move on and risk to lose what I already have. I was not supposed to be here at this hour, but I wanted to wait for you guys to arrive just to invite him…and you saw how he turned out"

Emily felt a knot in her stomach, 'My God, she's in love with him!' As Emily thought, Garcia said:

"Besides, I think he's in love with someone else ..."

Emily swallowed thinking, 'Garcia is not even a profiler? Did he tell her? 'and said:

"What makes you think that?"

"The day he went to my place, I'm pretty sure he actually wanted to have gone to see someone else but not had the courage and came to me, but when we were talking about the romantic comedy movie that we had just seen, he blurted out that live in a "all girls style boy" wasn't no longer a choice but the only option because he could not be with the one he really wanted, I was right there in front of him. So: this lucky one is obviously not me ".. . she said with a small smile.

Emily smiled back and said, almost stuttering?

"Pen, do you think it is….what you feel…you know...for him….do you think…it is really love?"

Garcia stopped to think, and Emily added:

"It's ok if you do not want to say..."

Garcia interrupted her and said:

"Actually I do not know… I know that I love him in some way, not sure what way, and that's exactly what I don't want to find out."

Emily smiled at her and then they went out.

That night while driving home, she began to think. Emily was feeling so sad, she did not really want to access the department of "feelings" inside her, but since Morgan began with that she could no longer shut it down, if, by the divine work of the Holy Spirit, one day in her life she would be able to interested in Derek Morgan then this would hurt Garcia so bad, Could things become worse? Could I just continue with my unrequited love under lock by key. I was trained for this, to not show my feelings, to hide, to live alone, but dealing with feelings and hurt someone you love. But what if I do not give Morgan a chance, it would hurt him too. But Hotch, oh God I love him so much…..what I'm going to do?' She thought dropping tears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Guys, I found that does have many errors in translation from Portuguese into English, but I promise I'll fix it, at least I'll try.**  
**Comments and suggestions are always super welcome. **  
**I do not own Criminal Minds, Emily, Morgan or Hotch or any other characters or songs that I use... Wish I had... lol**

It had been almost one month since that Saturday night which Morgan had implicitly declared his love to Emily. Since then, both were able to act as if nothing had happened. Emily had managed to avoid glances to Hotch and Morgan also had somehow failed to notice it much, just not to embarrassed her.

It was a beautiful Saturday night and the whole team had been invited to a dinner in the garden of Rossi's to celebrate his birthday. Morgan was offered a ride to Emily and for his surprise, she accepted, she always accepted his rides, but since he told her about his feelings he did not know how she would act.

In front of her condo, he called her by cell:

"Hey Emily, I'm here, are you ready? Do you want me to come up?

"It is not necessary, I'll just grab my jacket and I'm down."  
Emily was wearing a strapless black dress at the knee, black sandals, high heels, some jewelry, and a small black bag. Light makeup. She was beautiful. Morgan was wearing a gray dress shirt, matching pants, black shoes, and he was very, very fragrant. Once he laid eyes on Emily walking toward his car, he thought to himself: 'Dear God, help me', and his heart was racing a mile a minute. He took a deep breath before she gets in the car.

"Hi" Emily greeted him, getting into the car.

"Hi... (pause) you look gorgeous." He said smiling at her.

She blushed slightly as she replied:

"You look good too."

And so they went to Rossi's house, talking about everything but less what they should be speaking.

Rossi's garden was decorated with flowers and suspended lanterns, it had a romantic and family air, he also hired some musicians to play violin, the buffet was all prepared as well, it had some round tables with crockery and cutlery and glasses that seemed porcelain and silver, all Rossi's style. Hotch, Beth and Jack were occupying a table in which Rossi was also sitting; at another table, were Garcia, JJ, Will and Henry, had other tables with other guests, but not too many, it was an intimate party. Emily was holding her purse in one hand and in the other Rossi's gift; when Emily saw him, she immediately thought to herself: 'Jesus, could he not be seated at another table with other people? Well, I have to go there, anyway, I'm with Morgan and I can't feed his assumptions. Then Morgan and Prentiss walked to the table where they were Rossi, Hotch, Jack and Beth. They usually congratulated each others, wished happy birthday to Rossi and gave him the gifts. They greeted the rest of the team and sat at a table, sharing with Reid that he was alone. Emily felt a knot in my stomach to see Beth with Hotch, it really messed with her, made her sad, but she had to disguise it, the best poker face.

Morgan: "You okay?"

Prentiss: "Yeah, I'm good.

They stayed there sat without speaking for a while just watching other people having fun, dancing, chatting, kids running, Emily thought to herself, 'why do I feel so alone, why I can not just live my feelings, where is it written that I was born to be so alone... okay, Morgan is right here beside me, I can not complain, he is beautiful, fragrant, gentle, polite, courageous and a lot, but why I can not just fall in love with him, why things have to be like this...'; at this point she could feel a big lump in her throat, fighting back tears, she knew down Hotch was so happy with Beth, she concluded their thoughts with, 'Yeah, definitely there is no chance for me in love'. She looked at Morgan and thought, 'Wow, Morgan used to be so happy and now this, look at him, he look sad and introverted, look what I cause in others?' She said to him:

"Morgan, you gave me a ride, but it does not mean you have to stay with me all night."

"Am I bothering you?

The typical "O" Emily's mouth:

"Of course not."

"Ok, so I'd rather stay here with you instead of all these people"

"Thank you". She smile.

"You don't need to thank me".

After a long silence again Morgan shot:

"You know, you should tell him."

Emily froze:

"Say what? Who?" she thought immediately : 'No Morgan, please just don't!'

"Hotch" ...

"Derek, please, I do not wanna talk about it."

"Emily, you have to. Well, after I told to you how I feel about you, I felt better, felt stronger, because when we hide ourselves behind our feelings we end up feeling cowardly too, we all have our sealed boxes full of issues that we just do not want to deal with, but in the end they are still there and they will stay until we deal with them. "  
At this point Emily was listening intently staring at a fixed point in an embroidered cloth covering the table. He then put his hand over hers and continued:

"The love I feel for you is so big that I bear the pain of seeing you with him just to see you happy ... but you have to try, and I'm here for you, and I always be". At that point Morgan thought with himself: 'damn it Derek, where did you get this from? Of course you do not want to see her with anyone but you'...  
Feeling more confortable by his words, she took courage:

"I can not Derek, he is with her, he's happy, he's my boss, and it can completely compromise my job and our friendship. There is a lot of obstacles" ...

"Our friendship has not changed, although you trying to get away a little, but from my part, still the same thing, I'll always respect you" ...

"Thank you Derek, you know, in a certain way, I love you too." She said a small smile. Morgan and immediately thought: 'For God's sake, Emily, do not give me this thing of love me as a brother, for God's sake ...'

Although it was exactly what she meant to say, she remained quiet.

The rest of the night passed very well with the couple dancing , talking and pretty normal things that people do in parties. At the end of the party, almost all the guests had gone, Emily entered the mansion Rossi to use the bathroom, review her make-up, and verify the poker face. When she tried the door of the toilet, she realized it was locked, so she concluded that there was someone inside, which made her wait outside, she pulled back a little of the bathroom door and watched the beautiful paintings of decorating the hall, she did not notice when the bathroom door opened. Hotch was the occupant of the bathroom, he opened the door and saw Emily a little distant from him, looking at the pictures on the wall, he stood there for a few seconds staring Emily in her little black dress, he thought: 'I can not believe that working with this person for so long and only now I realized how attractive it can be'. For a moment he wondered if it was really Emily, one of the black suit and shirts. 'Realizing that she had not realized that the bathroom was free he walked up to her and said her, she was still turned back:

"You look gorgeous". He said and leave without looking back.  
Emily (mouth super "O"), blushed deeply and almost knelt to thank God that she was still on back for him and could well hide the strong flushing, so she entered the bathroom. She slammed the bathroom door and leaned against the back of the door, breathing deeply, dry mouth, looking up, his mind was racing, she did not know what to think first. Three words that he said "you look gorgeous," fell like an earthquake, shaking the mind and heart and every part of the body of Emily. 'There were only three words, three words from HIM, Aaron Hotchner, cold, controlled, thoughtful, committed with another person, my boss, he noticed me, notice me as a woman, God, I do not know what to think, come on Emily, stop acting like a teenager'. And with a thousand thoughts, she tried to calm down, control her breath, looked into the mirror, redid the light makeup, put on her poker face and left the bathroom.

Returning to the party, most people had left already, she saw Hotch talking to Rossi, they were standing a little away from the dance floor. She walked by them, looked at Hotch and told him:

"Thanks." And made her way back to the empty table because Morgan was dancing cheek to cheek with Garcia and Reid had already left.

Rossi could not miss the opportunity:

"She looks really beatiful today."

"Yes" Hotch said in an ice tone. Of course he wouldn't tell Rossi that he already have had told it to her, personally.

"Come on Aaron, allow yourself to enjoy life a little bit, looking at her will not boot piece, from you or her. The beautiful things in life are there to be enjoyed" ...

"She is not a 'thing' ...''

"I know she is not a 'thing', but a really beatiful woman, we all are lucky for can live with. I'd like to be in place of the person for whom she is so in love ... the lucky man".

Of course Rossi knew about secret Emily's passion for Hotch, not that he had some interest in her, well, he had but it was more carnal interest, but of course he would not do that to her, of course not. Rossi is the father of the profilers. He realized things even when he did not want to notice.

"I just hope this man is not from the team, I would not .." Aaron said staring at nothing.  
Rossi broke:

"Aaron, it does not matter, there is a woman in love, and life is too short and we as men should be aware of our surroundings, the chances of being happy in love are very few, even more with divorced historical.'

"I'm very happy with Beth"...

"Sometimes we choose to love that person that we think best suits us and fool us for a long time, sometimes the whole life, trying to escape and deny the love that really will make us happy forever. Think about it".

And so, Beth came to him asking to go home.

Morgan and Emily was on the dance floor, it was playing a very romantic song, they were dancing in a very tight hug, while they were dancing, they were thinking with closed eyes and completely rendered for emotions of that hug.  
Thoughts of Emily: 'I feel so safe with him, dear God if I could choose, I'd fall for him in a second, I do not know how long I'll bear to be so lonely, look what he did for me, he went after Ian Doyle, a dangerous criminal, for seven months and he succeeded, he found him and he did it for me, and yet he was able to forgive me'...

While wandering in her thoughts she felt even more secure in his arms.

Thoughts of Morgan: 'The world could end now "...

Already in the car, after the party, they were almost at Emily's place, Morgan tuned the radio, it was playing the song "Arms" by Christina Perri, and it fit perfectly for the moment. Emily was thinking about Morgan's words, she was flattered, never thought that someone could fall in love with her for real, especially Derek Morgan, such a special person. Further considering that her last serious relationship was with nobody less than Ian Doyle. On the other hand, Hotch's three words were hammering into her brain. All this added to the music, Emily was fighting back tears again, and Morgan did not want to interrupt her in her little world. Parking in front of her condo, he just looked at her and she said:

"You wanna come up for a coffee?" She felt safe with him, and today she did not want to be alone. Loneliness, doubts, sadness, hormones, all screaming inside her.

"Are you sure?" He said politely.

"Pretty sure Derek."

So he parked the car and they went up.

**So, this is the end of chapter 3. What is going to happen in Emily's apartment. I'm preparing great emotions.**


	4. Chapter 4

They entered in Emily's place talking about how the dinner was good, how Rossi knows how to pleasure people and ordinary things about the dinner. When Emily went to the kitchen to start preparing coffee, Morgan said:

"Emily, I think I prefer a drink" ...

"Oh, okay, I have some good wines, whiskey, what do you prefer?" ..

"Whiskey, please" ...

"Okay."

While Emily was preparing the drinks, Morgan sat comfortably on the couch, he was quiet, he was there with her, he was exactly where he wanted to be, he was very happy, after all, she had invited him to enter. Emily gave Morgan his drink and put hers on the little table in front of the sofa, and said to him:

"Derek, do you mind if I go upstairs change my clothes and remove my makeup?"

"Of course not, Emily." He drank some of the strong drink, and added: "If you need some help" ... He opened a huge smile to her.

Emily smiled back and went upstairs. For a moment she gave herself the luxury of imagining Derek Morgan removing her dress, helping her undo the zipper of her dress, she could feel a slight vibration coming from the bottom of her body and a shiver. While she was changing her clothes for others more comfortable and taking off all her makeup, Morgan was sitting on the sofa waiting for her, quietly, savoring every drop of his whiskey. He was totally controlling his mind to not think about what might be going on upstairs, a Saturday night, alcohol, and Emily Prentiss changing clothes so close, these stuff all together and he would not control his body, so he decided to think about the unsubs that were still free.  
Emily wore a comfortable sweatshirt and a red top, she removed all the makeup and washed her face, so she was completely comfortable, she went downstairs to drink with Derek Morgan.

"You look even more beautiful than before." He said when he saw her.

"Stop it Derek" ... she said, little smile and clenched jaw, as she sat, for total surprise of Derek, on the same couch where he was.

"No Emily, you're absolutaly beautiful, your skin, your eyes, your sweet way, you know, I just love everything about you" ...

"Derek, you're getting used me badly, spoiling me, it can cost you" ...

"I paid, paid everything" ...

Emily just smiled. She leaned on the couch and hugged her legs, her feet were on the couch, and she rested her chin on her knees.

Derek put his drink on the table, turned to Emily, and began stroking her hair. Emily wanted to ask him to stop it, but damn she was enjoying it very much. So they got a little time, he just stroking her hair and she resting her chin on her own knees, looking for any vacant point and simply handed over to the sensations; suddenly Morgan began to massage her shoulders around her neck, Emily was enjoying it, very much, more than she wanted.

Her heart was beginning to accelerate, the breathing was beginning to be heavy, she closed her eyes and struggled with her moans. 'God Emily, make him stop it,' but she could not help herself. He was very good at it. Suddenly she opened her eyes and turned to face him, his face was just inches away from hers, and she could not control her mouth with "o", and Morgan looked deep into her eyes and looked at her mouth slightly open , her breathing was heavy, her mouth was very dry...He could not help himself, he could see how her mouth was dry, then he slowly passed his tongue on her lips, like he wanted to wet them, Emily opened her mouth a little more as an invitation to a deep kiss, and kissed her, he put both of his hands of each one Emily's cheek while it proved the kiss, their tongues entwining lightly, Emily groaned. As they kissed feeling nothing but the the sensations, their bodies began to move almost automatically never breaking the kiss, guided by the senses, Emily was totally lying on the couch and Morgan was totally on top of her, lightly resting on the couch not wanting to choke her with his weight over her thin body. After about fifteen minutes, the kiss never broke, Morgan started kissing the curve of Emily'd neck, she was beginning to enjoy the moment when, suddenly, something in Emily's mind popped her out of this wonderful dream to a real world in which she was not allowed to enjoy this kind of these things, reason has always prevailed in her life, 'the Prentiss never lived by emotions, so she moaned and:

"No, no, no, no, stop it, stop it... Derek..."

Suddenly she stood up and began walking around the room, her right hand on her head and breathing deeply.  
Morgan just took a deep breath and sat looking down. 'Which unsubs are still free?' he thought, but he didn't need to think too much about, it to instantly broaching. Total disappointment. He finally looked at her and:

"Sorry."

She still standing, said:

"No, that's ok, it just ... I just can not ... Morgan ... (she began to panic) We can not do this ... not with just one part is in love..."

Morgan cut it:

"You do not need to remind myself that my love for you is a one-way thing"...

She sighed in defeat.

"Thanks for the drink." He rose and walked toward the door.

"Derek, please, you can not just leave, we need to talk" .. she said with a trembling voice."I'm done talking Emily, I saw right now right away as much as you wanted me, I felt every inch of your body enjoying the sensations Emily, why deny it to us? We are adults, why do not try, why do not just join? Let it happen and see how it goes, why do not just give us a chance? I would not be asking if it had not felt it in your kiss, in your body, it can not be simply fake, or was it? "

"Derek, you are my best friend, I love you so much, I love being with you, I do not want to hurt you, never, ever, you have to understand, we can not risk going to a place to which we both know there is no return. "She said and the tears forming.

"Were you not enjoying what just happened?" Morgan asked, nonconformist.

"Of course I did. Morgan, you're beautiful, you have a beautiful body, perfect, any woman in the universe would like to be in my place right now, I bet it, and of course I would like to be with you right now in my bed, feeling each part your body, feeling you inside me, but I can not do this to you, not when you are in love with me ... try to understand"...

"So you're telling me that if I was not in love with you, we would be probably fucking right now?" ... He said almost shouting

Emily stepped back because of Morgan's rude words and his tone, and responded:

"I don't know Morgan, I don't know"... She really had been hurt by the way he had just spoke to her.

"Emily, I'm really sorry." Morgan was ready to go.

"Are we good?" she asked.

He replied with a big hug and a kiss on the top of her head. And he left. She was there in her bed reliving all the facts of that night, needless to say how much she cried, and how much she cursed for having no more space in their imaginary boxes to store all these things, those damn boxes were overflowing. She thought a lot and finally slept with the most prevalent thing of that night: the three words of Hotch, she grabbed it and fell asleep. She really loved Aaron.

That night, Aaron was driving Beth to her place, along the way they talked about the party. Once they arrived at her house, she said to him:

"Do you wanna come in?

"Oh, no, thank you Beth, but it's too late."

"I know. I was just thinking... tomorrow is Sunday (actually it was already sunday, since it was one a.m.), we could wake up early to walk with Jack, I don't know, I have a guest room for Jack." ...

"Beth, you are beautiful, of course I wish you, but I'm not ready for this, I really loved Haley..." Hotch was lost in his words and stopped talking, he just not wanted to give all his secrets to her.

"Aaron, have you not been with anyone since..." She stopped talking trying to find the right words ... but she had no time because he talked:

"Beth, look, I really do not want to have this conversation with my son sleeping in the back seat" ... He looked at her.

"OK We'll talk at another time."

He said nothing because he did not know if he really wanted have this conversation with her. They parted with a small kiss on the lips.

At his home Hotch put Jack to sleep, and he was also trying to sleep, he closed his eyes trying to shut down the thoughts, but she not allowed, she appeared, beautiful, dressed in black, graceful, smiling at him ... Emily ... Once Hotch realized that Emily invaded his thoughts, he opened his eyes frightened, he did not know from where she had appeared in his mind. But he, of course, did not fed the thought, he immediately thought of the Jack and Beth, and so fell asleep, leaving Emily there, somewhere in his brain, which was occupied by an Emily who he was used to worked with, in a cold suit, in BAU, not that Emily he had seen that night. This Emily he definitely did not want to know. He also spent sometime fighting to himself to not to think about the Rossi's wise words.

Morgan went back to his place, thanking God for the opportunity to kiss her, lamenting how the night ended, and repeating to himself: 'I can not blame her for not love me back' ...

**Well folks, this is the end of the fourth chapter, I wanted to make clear that Hotch and Beth have not taken the next step yet, so things between them is just kisses. I promise to update soon and please send reviews because I still do not know with who Emily should be in the end...**


	5. Chapter 5

After that kiss, Emily and Derek managed to disguise the small change that their relationship had suffered to the rest of the team. They were able to deal with what had happened, but the friendship was certainly shaken. Emily closed herself in hers little world even more. After three weeks and four cases resolved, the team was in Florida to solve another case of serial killer who was attacking in nightclubs. The case was difficult; since the team had arrived in the city it had been three deaths, they were getting anxious and frustrated because the deaths were occurring and they were not able to catch the unsub. They were spending several nights awake because the suspect attacked always at night, they were all very tired. It was a late afternoon on a Thursday, Reid, JJ and Emily were at the station reviewing the tracks, while Rossi, Hotch and Morgan had gone to interview some witnesses. They found out that the suspect never attacked in the same club, so they started to track the clubs until they figured out where he was going to be that night.

That night, they were in front of the nightclub when Hotch ordered Emily go in the club see if she saw someone that looked like the unsub, more like a bait.

"Sure." She said without hesitation. And she began to take off the anti bullets.

"Hotch, it is too dangerous for her, we know he does not hesitate to kill, the last time he killed right there in the middle of the club and managed to escape." Morgan said in a calm tone, he was really worried about Emily.

Emily stopped to wait for Hotch's answer.

"Emily, you're okay with that?" Hotch asked her.

"I'll do whatever you think is necessary," she replies.

"Okay, you go in there, and we'll be watching you all the time. Just make us a sign when you realize that found the right guy."

"Okay." She left her gun with them, and entered the club.

The place was dark and flashing lights were not helping. Emily walked around the club, she covertly watched the guys hoping to recognize the unsub. Morgan was in a strategic point, well hidden and so Hotch, both keeping eyes on her. Emily was leaning on the counter facing the front of the dance floor, watching the guys who were dancing; after forty minutes they were yet there, Emily felt something hard, she immediately realized that it was a weapon, against the height of her waist, on her back, she "O", and the guy said in her ear:

"I know who you are and we'll go out for a ride, you'll be nice and quiet or I'll shoot you r.i.g.h.t n.o.w" ...

Emily was leaving the club with him while he was saying in her ear:

"I knew you were looking at me, so I researched about your team, I can go to jail but I'm gonna kill you before, you bitch" ...

Emily just breathed heavily and swallowed hard.

Morgan and Hotch realized it immediately but managed to disguise, they went out of the club without being noticed by the unsub. Arriving into the parking lot, the unsub was putting Emily in the trunk of the car, both Hotch and Morgan stopped him:

"FBI. Don't move." Hotch said.

The suspect moved to point the gun at Emily's head, but he had no time. Hotch gave the fatal shot. Morgan went to her:

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, I'm ok." She lied. In fact, she was not ok. Emily always felt good to be able to help in cases and she felt a personal satisfaction when the case ended with the unsub behind bars; but lately she was feeling that it was always her to be on the front line, it made her question how her colleagues saw her, 'did they think that I was the one that had less to lose? not having any family or boyfriend, just a cat'. She thought sadly but quickly kicked these thoughts. 'Life sucks'. She thought.

_

In the flight back to home, they were all very tired, exhausted even, nobody wanted to talk. Hotch could see Emily sitting alone in a chair in the back of the plane. He went and sat in front of her:

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." She lied.

"I'm sorry for what happened." Hotch said almost whispering.

"It's okay Hotch, I'm more than used to it." She said, lamenting the fact.

In some way, it fell as a warning to Hotch, and made him think: 'it was her job, but, at what point and at what time and especially with whom she would be able to recover from these blows of life?' And with these thoughts, he told her:  
"Prentiss, I need you to know I'm here whenever you need to talk." With his low tone of voice.

Emily immediately thought: 'I open myself to you? Just for you to send me to the BAU's psychologist? No thanks!' but obviously she did not say any of this, instead, she said:

"Thank you Hotch."

He felt her cold and dry tone in her voice and said:

"I'm not talking as your boss but….. (he stopped for two seconds) as your friend."

He said these words looking straight into her those dark eyes.

She just smiled in response, trying do mask the sweet surprise.

Since the others were all asleep and the flight was far from over, Emily could not waste the opportunity. Emily was at a point where she felt she had nothing to lose, so she took a risk:

"So, how are the things with Beth?"

Hotch was not expecting that question, he was completely surprised. He froze for a minute to process the question and formulate an answer. Typical Aaron Hotcher. Sure, he showed nothing, no emotion, unintelligible expression, as much as Emily was an excellent profiler, she could not read anything in him at that moment.

"She is a nice person". He whispered.

'Well, that does not answer my question, I asked how things were and not whether she was a good person; it is clear that she was a good person, but it is also clear that he does not want to talk about it'. Emily thought e stayed quiet. She gently turned hrs face to look out the window as if she had realized that he did not want to talk about it.

Hotch really did not want to talk about it at first; he did not open himself to anyone, never, especially for a subordinate, even when this subordinate was a beautiful woman to whom she did not get the luxury of looking at. But, after about a minute:

"It was a good experience." He told her.

Emily's thought flew, while her face turned to look at him. She was not expecting this confession. She thought: 'Was? How come? Did they break up? They are no longer together? And he is here, right in front of me, confiding me it? Dear God, pinch me, Emily, organize your thoughts so you can make things clear, and fast'. So she pretended that she had not understood what he just said and:

"Sorry?" She said, faking an interrogation face.

"Beth is an excellent person, Jack likes her, she was very important to me in this process of prove to myself that, maybe, one day, somewhere in the future, my heart is still capable of love. I could realize by this relationship, that Haley was really my love, but things got in the past. With this relationship with Beth I could see that I'm ready to love again, but somehow I know that she is not the one; I know that somewhere there is a new love waiting for me'.

Emily could not help herself, it was unbelievable, she was struggling with herself to not to show the storm of emotion she felt growing within her. She thought: 'Somewhere? No! Here, right here, I'm right here!' Emily screamed in her inside. She managed to mask, but her mouth fell, "O". Nevertheless, she was able to continue this interesting conversation:

"So, did you break up?"

"No"

(Emily: 'Poker face, Poker face, Poker face, Poker face', reminding herself.)

He continued:

"But I would say that our relationship has not passed the stage of "we are just knowing each other better", but I still need to talk to her. We are no longer on the same tune. And I have to be honest with her.

'Dear God holds me, I'm capable of throw myself into his arms right now; if I understood well they did not have had sex; and he told it to me; he opened himself to me, before tell her…..Emily calm down, breathe, that's just a conversation, you're a grown woman, completely able to handle with guns, with the most dangerous kinds of unsubs; high esteem, so calm down, breathe and you will do this very well', she told to herself.

She was trying to control her emotions and thoughts when she heard:

"What about you?...Still dating Sergio"? He said smiling, which, for an Aaron Hotchner, means much.  
Emily smiled embarrassed while thought: 'does he know how miserable is my love life? Come on Emily, get out of this now '…  
She looked at him, and he put a big interrogation on his face, showing that he was really waiting for the answer, looking at her all the time.

She opened her moth "o" a little bit, typical, and repeated to herself: 'don't blush, don't blush, don't blush', then, she blushed, just a little.

"I'm in the same place as you, hoping that somewhere there is some special person for me; but I think I'm not sure as you are about it; so I try not to think about it."

In that moment, Morgan was passing by them to take a cup of coffee for himself. When he passed, he gave a deep and serious look into the Emily's eyes, which meant more than a thousand words.

Emily's face fell when she looked at Morgan and swallowed. She also felt a pang in her heart that she could not identify, and she had no mental space for this at that moment, she was too busy with Hotch.

Hotch, of cooourseeeeeee, realized it, and thought: 'mmmmmmmmmm there is definitely something strange there'.

The conversation was broken, they could not return to the topic; then talked some more about trivialities and then surrendered to sleep.

That night, Emily went home a little happier than usually, she allowed herself to have a drop of hope, because if Hotch and Beth had not had sex, it was because the relationship was not so serious talking about feelings; and besides, she fell in love with him even more, he was very kind, a gentleman and concerned about the women feelings, and he did not want to hurt Beth. Yes, he was the right man for her, she was tired of this bad luck in love. And it already passed the time to change that.

The sex topic was really complicated for Emily. She had a few good boyfriends during the whole life. The episode "John" made her retreat; her mother had noticed a change in Emily's behavior at that time and it made her put both eyes in every Emily's footsteps, she was not really worried about her daughter, but an unexpected pregnancy, unplanned, it would definitely be a shame in the family; this meant that Emily had very few boyfriends in adolescence. In college, she had a few more, but most were for sex. She tried unsuccessfully truly fall in love, but always lost interest quickly. Then came the dedication to work and love life was scarce. Emily's brain recorded very well when her mother said: 'Love is for the weak, you have to do very well professionally', Emily, sometimes, wished it had not been so processed by her brain. She was trained for that, a whole life, so it was impregnated in her, and for now she did not want to fight against it. Since she began to work, Emily's life was always 99% working, so she always opted for 'friends with benefits', since she could not really surrender to love, she had sex with some of her coworkers and always lived well with this until ... until the Ian Doyle issue. Emily was working for Interpol for four years when it was proposed to her to go infiltrated to investigate Doyle's illegal business. At that time, 'friends with benefits' was in full swing and the man of the time was Clyde Easter. But she felt a little betrayal from him, just sending her to this cruel mission; ok she had agreed, but the initial idea came from him. They were already practicing 'friends with benefits' for about two years. It did not means that she loved Clyde but what woman does not like to feel protected, even her, Emily Prentiss, she was a woman, right. And he did exactly the opposite, threw her into the den of lions, a super hungry lion.

She might even have fallen in love with Clyde, but when she was already undercover almost for a month, and it was getting difficult to get away from Ian, he wanted her so bad, so she hidden called Clyde:

"Hi, it's me."

"Are you crazy? Today is not the day" ...

They always had a day and a time to speak. They had to follow the schedule.

"I need to talk to you."

"Speak quickly."

"It's Doyle, he ... he ... (she was gagging, but did not want to show weakness) ... he wants to have sex with me... and… I…"

"God Emily, are you calling me for that? Do what you have to do, it's the job remember?"

And with that answer and he hung up and Emily's mouth fell in her foot "O". She also shed a tear. And in that day, at night she gave herself to Ian.

And as a big joke of fate, Emily fell in love, fell in love with her prey. She fought against this feeling, she did not know what love was, and learned it right from Ian, she always asked herself: 'So is this love? When an imperfect person becomes more than perfect? Look inside without knowing what is outside? Wanting to be near to all the time? Starting to like things that never endured only because he loves? Have attitudes without ever caring about what others will think? Always wanting to be together, help, understand? Wanting to see the other person happy, even if it means give up our own happiness?'

And then when she realized she was in love with that man for which she could not, she said to herself: 'What the fuck, Emily, you really know how to make things worse for you, uh?; you have searched for true love during a whole life, and now, guess what, you are in love with an international terrorist, who you can not get along with, even in your best dream; and to worsen it a little more, you will have to hand him to the police and see him rot in jail forever, or even watch him being killed. Great! Actually Emily, you deserve a trophy for your "good" luck. There is no one person in the universe that knows how to fuck a life better than you'.

After the Doyle episode, Emily tried to keep up with 'friends with benefits' with Clyde, but after Ian, no other man seemed to fit anymore. Then things cooled between them and she went to the BAU.

She went to BAU without knowing what Clyde really felt for her. The sex between them was always great, looked like they were getting rid of all the dreadful things they saw in the cases; but they never talked about relationships, commitment; the only rule was that neither of them could have other partners.

And, at BAU, no way for 'friends with benefits' was going to happen; first because she knew about the rules, not allowed relationships between members of the same team; and second because she wanted to be a new person, no more space for 'friends with benefits' in her life. And Ian has left his marks in her. Before the huge scar in the stomach and a little one on the breast, he had left another much bigger than those, which was spiked inside her heart.

Even when they met again, she knew there would be no more place for love with him, not after what she had done to him; not after the great betrayal that she had made him through; needless the fact that he is a heartless killer. Still, she knew when she looked at him eight years later at the outdoor table waiting for him for two hours, 'God, this is the only man who I lived a truly love.'

With all these facts, it was not surprising that Emily was totally closed person to love. She even saw a slight chance with Mick Rawson, but she thought: 'Emily you will not lose your virginity again (yes because she was practically a virgin again) because of a womanizing man, get yourself together.'

And now Emily was again in love with an impossible love: her boss. 'Well at least I am no longer a stranger who fell in love with a thug'.

**Ok friends. It's the end of another chapter. I wanted to mention about Sergio, I think everybody knows that he is Emily's cat. In the seventh season, one of the first episodes, she is talking to Aaron about his psychological evaluation and he asks her why she lied to the psychologist that Sergio was a boyfriend. The scene was cute. I also want to say that anyone who watches CM knows that Emily always opens her mouth in a gesture of astonishment. So when I put "o" or "O" is when she opens her mouth too much or too little. She has this habit. Just notice the episodes. See you guys very soon. Thanks so much for the comments. It's very important to me.**


	6. Chapter 6

A few days later, the whole team was working on a case in New York City, the unsub was abducting teenagers, raping, torturing and killing them. The team had been there for three days and the investigation was progressing well. They were covering the traces of the crimes, they were very close to catch the bad guy. Hotch had ordered Morgan and Prentiss talk to the parents of the last victim they had found something suspicious in the victim's computer. On the way there, they talked only about things relating to the case. They completed their task and returned to the station and there was a complaint that the unsub was with another victim, but the team had been able to discover the secret hiding. The unsub was arrested and another case closed.

The team could not fly back home that night, so they returned to the hotel to rest.

They were all of them, except Morgan, gathered in the hotel restaurant for dinner and apparently happy with another case solved, despite all the exhaustion and wear involved. Morgan was sitting at the counter of the restaurant talking to a blonde woman. The woman wore a short dress, clinging to the body and looked like she had spent about ten times in the row breech and twenty times in the row breasts. They seemed to talk very animatedly. Emily felt a twinge of sadness seeing them, she had finished her dinner, so she said goodbye to the team and went upstairs toward her hotel room.  
She passed by Morgan not looking at him. But he looked at her. Immediately, he dropped the blonde talking to herself and went after Emily. He managed to reach her before the elevator doors close. He came in and she did not look at him, very angry face, for some reason that neither she knew what was, she was furious with him.

"Hey, Prentiss." He said.

She looked at him dropping arrows in her eyes:

("O") "Prentiss?" She asked, frowning. She could not believe it.

Morgan was a little disconcerted, he really did not know why so much anger.

"What's wrong? He said, worried.

"Nothing." She answered without looking at him.

The elevator door came out and she flew out. He left behind her.

She took her card and opened her room door, when she was closing the door in his face, he stuck his foot in the doorway so she could not close the door.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

"No".

"Morgan". Anger rising.

"Emily, no until you tell me what is happening."

"Whatever. I'll leave the door open."

And so she went and left him there at the door. Sure, he entered and locked the door. She was in the bathroom, brushing teeth, getting ready for bed. When she returned to the room in her beige satin pajamas, she saw him:

"You still here?

"I am and I'll stay until you tell me what is going on." He said.

"I'm tired."

"Emily, look, I do not deserve this. As far I remember I did not do anything wrong to you."

"Look, I'm tired, that's it, I'm sorry." She said but he could still feel the anger in her voice, an excellent profiler that he was, he knew: the anger was still there. And he wanted fix it now.

Then he began to do the thing she most hated, he began profile her:

"Okay, so Emily, when did you become so indulge in anger, it does not fit the profile so far, but in hindsight you're really a person who is oriented predominantly inward"….

"Stop it". She asked.

"You are oriented more towards the subjective than for objective"…

"Stop it". She asked, voice slightly higher.

"You will be guided by distinguished mainly by subjective factors and not by objective elements"….

"Stop it". She yelled.

"You always draw a subjective opinion based on the perception of the world, and objective external conditions"….

"Stop it". She yelled again.

"You elect the subjective determinations as decisive elements of existence, so you overestimates the subjective component that exceeds the physiological arousal of the senses, in addition ... "

"Stop it, Stop it, Stop it, Stop it, Stop it, Stop it".

Emily began to cry with rage and walk from one side to another.

Morgan realized that he had exaggerated and stopped talking; he went to grab her shoulder but she ducked, she was so full of rage.

"Why don't you go fuck with that busty blonde and leave me alone".

Now was Morgan's mouth to fell:

"Are you jealous?"

Now it was a competition of mouth falling:

"Of course not!" Emily yelled.

At this point, Morgan stepped up to her and grabbed her by the waist very strongly, they were face to face, but she avoided looking at him, and she held his arms with her hands as if she was trying to escape from de hug; of course, she, actually, did not want this, she wanted to stay right there, so she did not fight too much. And then he began:

"I don't (kiss on her forehead) ... go ... (kiss on the tip of her nose) ... back ... (kiss on her right cheek) ... to that ... (kiss on her left cheek) ... blonde ... (another kiss on her forehead) ... because ... (another kiss on her chin) ... who ... (another kiss on the tip of her nose)….I want ... ... (another kiss on her right cheek) ….is ... (another kiss on her left cheek) ... right here ... (another kiss on her forehead) ... in front of… (another kiss on her chin)…. me... (another kiss, now on the lips). "

She pretended to try to get away from little kisses but, of course, she was loving it. At first, she kept her mouth closed. But it did not last too long, his tongue was struggling to get in and it was making her very excited, so very soon she opened her mouth and he invaded to deepen the kiss. He was holding her by the waist, very strong. Yes, Derek Morgan was a catcher.

After about twenty minutes after, they were rolling over the big hotel bed, of course, they were still dressed, but things were really hot, hands everywhere. When Morgan tried to put his right hand inside her pajama toward the breast, she blenched breathless:

"No, no, no, no; stop it, stop it". And she ran away from the bed. Leaving Morgan there, sighing with disappointment, and making a reflection of that he needed to start buying larger jeans, because the current one was beginning to get very little for certain situations.

Obvious that she wanted to have sex with Derek, he was very hot; but the fact that he was in love with her, adding the fact that they work together, and the fact that she had not slept with anyone since Clyde, she just could not do it.

And Morgan knew that she wanted to have sex with him, she had confessed it already, and although he thought the sex was not the best way to win a love of a woman, at the time, it was his only chance, so he wanted so bad at least try.

Thus he got up and hugged her again, and she, again, attempted to leave the hug, without success, because he was too strong for her, and he was really holding her:

"Emily, please, you have to give us a chance, I know you want me too." He whispered in her ear.

She thought, 'Damn, I want you, I want you bad, but I can not just open my legs for you and then pretend nothing happened; I wish I could.'

And then, with her panties wet and with wild desire, she looked deep into his eyes, with hands on each side of his cheeks, as if holding his face, she said:

"Derek, you can not imagine the love I feel for you, you have no idea how much you mean to me, how much I feel safe with you ..."

Emily was being really honest. 'Okay, Emily, you have to open yourself a little for him, he deserves it,' she thought. She left the hug and started walking around de room as she spoke.

"... even in the field, you always go in front for me, as always trying to protect me, nobody did it for me, and that means a lot. Every night, when I go to sleep, I keep thinking how I could be happy with you; I would be able to leave my job for you, to have a family with you, if I could just…choose, if I had a… choice, but ... guess what… love is not a choice…. and you know that. Don't you think I did not want to be in love with you? …make things easier for me? … make you happy?... But I feel like I'm already fallen, and you are just here to save me from my miserable love life, and I just can not hold your hand and I can not let myself be saved for you… Do you have any idea how much this hurts? " Emily was in tears.

Morgan leaned against the dresser with his arms crossed, digesting every word and gesture that she was making. And she kept talking:

"I was jealous of you with that blonde woman, but it was pure selfishness, I want you just for me, but I ... I ... just can not give you what you want ... I can not give you my body, when what is inside… my heart… does not…. belong to you... " Her voice was fading.

Morgan looked down and took a deep breath; he had to put everything into clean dishes and this was the right time for this.

He looked back at her and said:

"What about that day you told me that I had a chance ... and what about how excited you get when we're kissing?"

"I said '**maybe**' you had a chance, because we never know about tomorrow, I'm here saying the today situation, but tomorrow I can fall in love with you, but there is no certainty that it will happen."

"If only you would give us a chance ..." Morgan said.

"I do not want to risk our friendship."

"What about the kisses?"

"It's all about sex…. physical attraction….. that's all…" .

"And you think this has nothing to do with love?" He fired.

She just looked at him and stepped back behind her head, showing that neither her knew the answer to that. She took a deep breath and said nothing.

"Ok Emily, I got it."

And so he left her room.

In the plane back home, Hotch watched the team cheerfully talking, of course, was a Saturday morning and they were returning home for a weekend, they were all happy, not everybody, in fact, some of them were just pretending..  
Emily went to get a coffee for herself and Hotch took the opportunity to go talk to her:

"You ok?"

She was putting splenda in her coffee, she stopped and looked at him:

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Jack traveled with Jessica to visit his grandparents, and I was wondering if maybe, tonight, you want to talk out a little without the BAU walls around." He said, clenched teeth, almost without moving his mouth, typical Hotcher.

Emily thought to herself: 'Dear God, as far as I remember I'm already awake, then, so I could not be dreaming; is he really inviting me for a date?'

She said:

"Sure" ... She said trying to be as natural as possible, because inside her she was a whirlwind.

"I'll call you." He said, leaving.

"OK."

She ran to the plane bathroom to get herself together.

The team arrived at BAU on Saturday, near the lunch time, just to put away the last case documents, they could wait until Monday. Garcia was there, she knew that the team would arrive:

"Hi baby girl, what are you doing here on a Saturday." Morgan said playing, trying to hide his sadness.

"Hi my hot thing, you are not going to escape from me today, I'm waiting for you for, at least, to go out for lunch." She said with her charming smile.

Morgan's feeling for Garcia was like brothers. At first, he thought that he felt for Garcia was the same thing that Emily felt for him; but he could not seen himself kissing Garcia, just like Emily kissed him. Then he stopped thinking about it.

Realizing he would not escape from the lunch with Garcia, he agreed:

"Sure baby girl, give me a minute."

And he really enjoyed Garcia's company.

Climbing the stairs to go to the file room, Emily passed by Hotch, who was ready to leave, and she heard from him:

"I'll call you later."

She just smiled at him nodding. Her heart came to the mouth, but she was able to disguise it.

Luckily for them, it was unknown by everybody, because Reid, JJ and Rossi had already gone; Garcia was on Morgan's desk waiting for him; and Morgan was in the file room.

Emily entered in the file room and Morgan was standing with an open drawer, keeping his papers; she was so focused on Hotch when they arrived in BAU, that she had not realized that Morgan had gone there. They stayed there for a few minutes, quiet, when Morgan broke the silence:

"Good luck with Hotch tonight."

Inside him, he was devastated, sad, and he not been able to disguise it.

Emily's heart broke in two, she wanted to deliver a piece to Morgan right there, and leave the other piece to give to Hotch later.

'God, how does he know?' She thought.

She wanted to cry. See her friend breaking there in the front of her, and she helplessly, and yet for her fault.

"Derek, please…" Emily spoke with a breaking voice. In fact, she had nothing else to say.

"That's ok Emily, You deserve to be happy".

"So do you".

"I know…. But…. I just can not be happy…. seeing you…. the woman I love….. going out with another man."

When Morgan said it, Garcia was standing in the doorway, but neither Emily or Morgan saw her. And now it was her mouth that fell to the foot:

'Oh ….my… GOD' ... She thought, and could not breathe.

"… but don't worry, I'll be able to get out of this…"

Morgan said and left the room, leaving Emily there completely in pieces. Garcia was already far away from there. In fact, she wanted to leave, but Morgan reached her in time in the elevator:

"Did you change your mind about lunch?"

He no idea that Garcia had heard part of his conversation with Emily; in fact the most important part.

"No, I…You were taking too long and I... I thought that… maybe…. you were too busy, so I decided to leave ..." Garcia said but her mind was in the space.

"You still want to go for a lunch?" He asked.

"Sure." She did not resist.

**So folks, what will happen between Morgan and Garcia during the lunch, and what about Hotch and Emily dinner? Suggestions are always welcome.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the comments! I do not own Criminal Minds, or Emily, or Hotch, Or Morgan, Garcia.. etc.**

Emily left BAU that Saturday; she was saddened by what had happened in the file room. She was concerned about Morgan's feelings, and then she thought: 'God, I was supposed to be happy today, but why does it seem that always that I'll have a bit of happiness something bad happens, something bad surrounds me.'

And with these thoughts while driving her car, she decided to go to the mall, she needed a new dress and sandals for that night. And she wanted to arrange her hair too. She wanted to be beautiful for Hotch. She thought, 'Maybe being beautiful on the outside, I can disguise this touch of sadness that I feel inside.'

And so Emily was there walking through the mall. She never saw much sense in it, people thronging malls, buying wildly; she never understood it, perhaps because, during her childhood, her mother never took her to these crowds places; when she was a child and even a teenager, the clothes were the ones that went to Emily, dressmaker and major brands, her mother wanted her always very neat to present to others. But when she started working, she bought her own clothes, but yet she was always very basic.

Emily had arranged her hair, smooth, slightly curled at the tips, basic, but beautiful, soft and fragrant.  
She had already bought a burgundy dress, basic but very beautiful too. And she had decided not to buy new sandals, she had some good already.

Lingerie, well, this was an item that for sure Emily was needing to renew; the more extravagant sets were at Ian's times; he always gifting her with the most expensive and beautiful as possible and he always made her parade for him. Stop in front of a lingerie store, looking for models in the window, she remembered Ian's time, the good part of him, of course, she felt a pang of nostalgia of her sexual antics with Ian. She decided to enter the store; a smiling young lady came toward her:

"Hi, Can I help you?" Said the clerk.

"Oh, I do not know, I'm not looking for anything specific" ...

In fact, she wanted a hot night with Aaron Hotcher, but she knew that, even in her best dream, it would not happen, not today.

"Well, if you want something for the daily is that section; but if you want something to surprise your boyfriend, or husband, the section is there" ... Said the girl, all sympathetic, pointing with his fingers to the sectors of the Store.

"Thank you" .. said Emily. Of course, she went to the "Surprise Your Boyfriend With a Sexy Lingerie section".

Emily stood there looking at lingerie models for about half an hour, she was holding a very sexy set, (a very small underwear and a bra) red satin trimmed with black lace, extremely sexy, when she felt her phone vibrate.

She picked up the phone just to look at Hotch smile. Bag in the shoulder, a gun in left hand (not real gun, a seduction one - the lingerie), and a Hotch vibrating in right hand. The setting was a lot to her, but she managed to do well:

"Hi Hotch." She said, happy, he could tell by the voice.

The store was full of people and the sound environment was also high, so he asked:

"Where are you?"

It is obvious that she would have to lie; no way to tell him that she was a lingerie shop buying little things to please him.

"I. .. I ... I had to stop to pay a bill that I had forgotten" ...

"Oh. Ok .. so ... what time I get you?"

'For me, you can caught me right now and would not let me go anymore, never', she thought, but she answered:

"It could be at 8 pm?"

"Perfect."

Then they hung up and Emily went to pay for her little pats; she, exaggeratedly, chose three sexies sets.

In line to pay, Emily was holding her purchases, and a young man of about thirty, old jeans, unshaven, unkempt brown hair and green eyes, standing in line in front of her to pay for his things; he looked back, looked at Emily, he smiled at her, she smiled back; he bowed his head a little, the boy was looking at the pieces in her hand, Emily was embarrassed, he looked at the pieces, and smirked, he mused:

"Lucky Man".

Emily blushed. She pretended that she had not understood:

"Sorry?"

"Your man... is a lucky man."

Said the boy, as he looked at the lingeries in Emily's hands, and looked to her body up and down, as if he was measuring her body. He never wanted to hide.

She just smiled. She would not speak of her life to a stranger. No. Prentiss' never do this.

Emily stretched her eyes furtively to see the things he held in his hands. She saw some huge knickers, skin color, she wanted to laugh; he realized it and said:

"They're for my grandmother! I live with her, I take care of her, she can not come and buy, so..."

Emily just smiled and thought, 'how sweet'.

The boy paid for his purchases and said goodbye to Emily:

"Have fun tonight" and he winked at her.

'Injection of self esteem, it was all I needed today.' She thought, almost aloud thanking.

Garcia and Morgan were at a Chinese restaurant. Both were acting strange. They tried to talk normally, they tried to play with each other, but both knew that something was strange and both felt their stomachs wrapped and bitter taste. Morgan, because of Emily, and Garcia because of what she heard at BAU.

Morgan really liked Garcia; he did not like see her that way, apparently sad. This was not her. Then he spoke:  
"Baby girl, what's wrong with you?"

Garcia had strong feelings for Morgan; but since she did not have to deal with figured out what that feeling was about. But today, when she heard, with all the letters that he was in love with Emily, that hurt the heart. But although she was a transparent person, she would not give him that. Then she replied:

"... I. .. I... just... do not like to see you this way" ...

Morgan stopped eating, just lift up your eyes to look at her:

"What way?" ...

"You seem sad ... and it saddens me too ..."

He gave up eating. Support elbows on the table and said:

"This last case ..."

"My sweet chocolate, do not lie to me" ...

Garcia said that, but she was not sure if she wanted him to tell her the truth.

"Alright ... There is something, but I do not wanna talk about it" ...

"I never saw you so sad ... it breaks my heart" .. She said.

"I know but...I can not help" ...

Garcia then ventured:

"Sometimes it helps to talk, disembosom;... tell me, who is the evil witch who is doing it with you?"

He smiled in defeat and said:

"She is not ... Just ..." He stopped talking, he really did not want to talk about it.

"Okay. You do not wanna talk about it, but then you'll have to buy me an ice cream and we'll walking through the park and we'll play catch-up, and hide and seek, and we'll laugh during all the day ... or that, or you tell me who is this crazy woman that are making you so sad... and I'm going to kill her..."

Morgan opened a beautiful smile and they went to the park.

She knew how to make him happy.

In the park, they had already taken ice cream, played, lay on the grass, and now they were just slowly strolling hand in hand. Morgan's thought: 'She (Emily) should be getting ready now ... for him ... '. Garcia's thought: 'My God, make it not be what my heart is showing me that is; I can not be in love with him'.

The touch of his hands, strong, 'if only I could tell you how I feel, Garcia thought.

At that time, Morgan, as if he could feel wired, connected through their hands, as if could read Garcia's thoughts, he stopped walking, dropped his hand from hers, stood in front of her and said:

"Penelope, look, I really appreciate your friendship, you got me out of the dark hole today, I was really sad, and now I'm feeling much better, and I thank you for everything, for being part of my life, for being my sweet friend" .. . Morgan said; but he was lying, he WAS sad, very sad, but he really enjoyed Garcia's company, and thought she deserved that thanks.

Garcia's eyes were moist, partly because she was achieving to see the sadness in his eyes, although she was not a profiler. And also because she knew, she was running from it, but she knew she was in loved with him. And it was not brotherly love.

With teary eyes and open smile, Garcia did not need to say anything, she was the pure image of friendliness and purity of heart. Morgan then curled his index finger with the middle finger of right hand, squeezing Garcia's nose, and then he gave a little kiss on her lips. It was not the first time he did it, so she was not frightened; but she liked it, liked it a lot. And so they left the park embraced. At this point, there was no way Morgan see Garcia as a woman, it was cracked, obsessed with Emily. Garcia meant to him, a great friend.

Serg was on Emily's bed, trying to sleep while she was finishing getting ready. She looked at him and said:

"Serg, Am I pretty? What you think buddy?

Serg was sleepy, he really did not answer, so he did not move.

"Come on Serg, talk to me, I need your opinion...Will Hotch think me beautiful?" Emily wandered.

The cat did not understand anything, 'this crazy, let me sleep', the cat thought, cats are temperamental.

"Serg, you think I should tell Hotch how I feel about him?"

Emily was talking to the cat as she put on her clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup etc..

"Come on, what do you think? Should I tell or not ..."

"Serg, Hotch is really important to me, today's dating is very important to decide my future, If I'll take a chance or not" ...

Emily always talking to the cat, but today she was exaggerating. And the cat wasn't liking it, he wanted to sleep. He began to stand up and stretch out in bed. And lie down again.

"Serg, perhaps somewhere in the world where is written that can not be happy in love, and if I can figure out where it is, and delete it, then maybe I have a chance ..." and she went wandering.

The cat could not stand anymore, then he meowed. He jumped off the bed toward the door. Emily scared a little, and then she looked at him and continued:

"Serg Ohh, Are you jealous, my friend, I love you, I'll never leave you" ...

The cat looked at her and thought: 'Wow, she's crazy, I don't wanna know about her love life'...

And then he left the room to sleep on the couch, downstairs, in the living room, very far from her.. There was quieter.

And then, withou the cat to talk to, she started talking to her thoughts:

'Ok, Emily, I need you to focus on Hotch tonight. Leave Morgan for Monday, or tomorrow, he'll be fine; I need you not to think of Hotch tonight; and try to be natural and not seem anxious, act like a teenager; you're an adult and an experienced profiler, then behave yourself, control yourself to throw in his arms, and not blush if he says something more touching, and also try not to talk about your rotten love life...

'And so, she was wandering, talking to herself.

She, in essence, knew none of this would work. But she always tried.

Promptly at 8 in the evening, Emily's apartment doorbell rang. She was ready, just last checking in the mirror in her bedroom. She thought, 'Emily, you're an adult, self-assured, beautiful, wonderful, smart, has no need of legs shaking, or stuttering, just be yourself, okay?'  
Ok. She went downstairs and opened the door wide for him. He looked at her with a smile on his mouth, looked into his eyes, looked up and down her body, and looked into her eyes again. When he was running his eyes all over her body, she blushed, and when he looked back at his eyes, she could not hide, she lowered her head and smiled without showing her teeth, she could not face his paralyzing eyes. He was also very handsome, black trousers, a gray dress shirt, hair neat and very fragrant. And he had gone to fetch some of the luster of the moon... his eyes were radiant; Emily just could not face them, she was sure that the moment she faced those eyes, he would be able to read her all inside, the innermost secrets. Realizing the effect that he just had caused in her, he said:

"Are you ready to go?"

"I'll get my purse."

She went into her bedroom to grab her purse and left him there in the living room; he got drunk with the perfume she had left in the air.

She arrived in her bedroom and prayed, 'Emily, I just spoke to you, please work with yourself today, you're a grown woman!'

She went down and they left.

On the way to the restaurant, Hotch put his pendrive with his favorite romantic songs, and Emily worshiped; every little gesture, she would fall in love over and over, as if it were possible.

He opened the car door for her to enter, he only tuned romantic music, he reached out to help her out of the car, put his hands lightly on her back when she was entering the elevator, put the hand on the elevator to stop it down for her to went out, pulled the chair for her to sit... Emily felt as if it were not for her, like she was waking up at any time.

Hotch took Emily to a restaurant on the top floor of a luxury hotel five stars. In fact, he had no second intention taking her to a hotel; it was just because the Hotel's restaurant had an outdoor space; and it was a really nice evening, very starry sky and a beautiful full moon, and he wanted to bring her closer the sky, and make a very romantic night for her.

"It's ... very ... beautiful here!" She said.

"You deserve much more ..." He said, almost whispering and looking at her eyes all the time.

The mouth of Emily wanted to fall, but she had made an intensive training to prevent this habit, not today!

And then she just smiled.

"Thank you ..."

They sat at a table on the terrace and the full moon seemed very close to them. Emily could see the moon but Hotch had to turn his neck to get to see it. They sat facing each other. Then Emily said:

"The moon is beautiful today, just give a look ..."

She realized that Hotch did not turn to look at the moon and continued staring at her eyes, smiling slightly. Then she said:  
"Look at the moon ..." She said softly.

He looked over a few seconds into her eyes without saying anything and then said:

"I can not look at the moon when I'm with a stunning beautiful woman right here in front of me." He said whispering.  
Now Emily could not help herself, her mouth:

"Oooooooo" ... "Hotch" ... she said, embarrassed.

"Aaron." He corrected, smiling.

He did not take his eyes of hers, she was really getting embarrassed. She did not want him to read her so soon. Hotch realized that he was causing her, and thought that she deserved a bit of the sincerity of him, then his right hand reached hers and squeezed, and said:

"Look at me."

She took courage and looked, and then he said:

"I really waited long for this moment... when you opened my office's door for the first time and said: 'Agent Hotchner?', your smile got me hypnotized ..."

"Good evening, you're welcome, Can I write down the order?"

Emily wanted to kill the waiter at this time. She sighed. If she could, she had throwed the waiter down there.  
Hotch, then, chose beverages, wondering what Emily wanted to drink, and they opted for red wine. They also accepted the suggestion offered by the waiter for dinner; they were not there to eat, so anything was good..

Emily prayed in silence for the waiter to move away soon. She wanted to return to the point in the conversation.

The waiter walked away, and Hotch said:

"You'll like this wine, is the best I've ever tasted ..."

She frustrated, she did not want to talk about wine, but she was able to smile back.

The waiter came with the wine and walked away again. They toasted. Hotch said:

"To us" ... And smiled.

She smiled back.

"It's really great." She said.

For Emily's frustration, Hotch take long to regain the conversation. During dinner, they talked about music, art, films, very little about BAU, a little about Jack.

The food came, they ate a little. They talked a little of everything. The night was really nice. Hotch wanted so much talk to Emily about his feelings. He was in love with her. But it took too long to take it for himself. And of course, he would not take it too easy for her. Especially since she had not spoken a word for how she felt about him, Although he knew.

And then Hotch finally resumed the conversation of before:

"Emily, as I was saying before ..."

Emily was no long expecting him back on this subject, so she was blindsided. Her heart was paced all over her body and seemed not be able to find its way back to place.

"... The first time I saw you, my heart recognized you as its owner ... and ... since then ... I've lived a life apart from it ... I tried ... I tried to convince my heart otherwise ... but it looks like it has its own life ... he has its own wills ... and...it just wants... you ... And right now he's here .. inside of me ... and hitting ... the beats speak: ... Emily ... Emily ... Emily ... Emily. (And he smile at her, the lovely smile)...I think .. he's happy now ... I'm pretty sure this called love..." He concluded with a smile forming dimples.

Emily was trying to assimilate everything Hotch was saying, love always was a difficult issue for her, she had loved, she had loved Ian, but Ian was unlike anything, could not compare, so it was a new situation for her. The situation that she just has to let go and be happy; but things were never easy for her like this, so she was kind of lost. Although Emily knew that he knew of her love for him, she wanted to tell him, and she had just decided to do that today. She also wanted to ask if he'd broke up with Beth, but she did not want to bring this subject.

However, she did not need to bring the subject. It came alone. When Emily was ready to open her mouth to declare her love for him, she saw Hotch reach the phone in his pocket, so she waited. Hotch looked at the phone: Beth! He frowned. He wanted turn off the phone but he could not because of Jack. So he decided to simply not answer, putting the phone back in his pocket. He looked at Emily and she said:

"Something wrong?"

"No" ...

When Emily opened her mouth to speak, again the same scene, Hotch's hand reaching the phone in his pocket: Beth again! He looked at Emily and he thought to himself, 'I can not answer it in front of her.' Then he put the phone back, looked at her and said:

"I'm sorry" ...

"That's ok" ...

But the mood was completely broken.

Emily wasn't sure about who was calling, but she had an idea, then she said:

"If you need to go ..."

Of course she was dying of hate inside .

And the phone vibrating like crazy again. Hotch got it, and answered, he never stopped to think, because if he stopped, he never would attended. And then he heard the crying voice on the other side:

"Aaron? Pl. .. please .. it's my mother ..."

"What happened?" He said dryly.

"She fell down the stairs, I'm in the hospital with her, I think she is going to die, they just told me that the surgery is a big risky for her and that she might not leave it alive, please, I'm alone here ... come here .. .. p .. please ..." Beth's voice was fading.

"Where are you?" He asked.

She said the address and Hotch said:

"I'm on my way."

Upon hearing this, Emily's heart broke, not in two pieces, but in thousand. She longed that the call was Jack, but she knew it was not, because if it was, Hotch would had attended at the first time.

He hung up the phone, and Emily looked at:

"I'm sorry" ...

To escape from having to look at her breaking into a thousand pieces in front of him, because of him; he turned his neck to catch the waiter to ask for the bill.

Emily said nothing, but she thought: 'No! He will not leave me here in the middle of the night to run to her, MY GOD, it can not be happening'. Her thoughts running and she wanted to cry, but of course, not in front of him, then she stopped short of thinking. He payed the bill and they left; she wanted to run away from there, disappear, she felt humiliated. Hotch was hating having to do it, but Beth, she had no one, she lived with her mother and she took care of her mother, he knew how much she should be suffering. When they reached Hotch's car , Emily said:

"If you want, I can get a cab." She was desperate to disappear.

"No, Emily, of course not." He replied.

She was dying to get out; and, in front of the hotel, there were dozens of taxi, so she said:

"No, Hotch, I prefer" ...

And when she said this, she ran towards to the cab.

She never said goodbye, she did not look back, got into the taxi and disappeared.

Hotch punched in his own car in protest, and went to the damn hospital.

_

At the hospital, Hotch rushed, nervous, upset, toward the emergency room, there was Beth, who when he saw him, came running toward him and threw herself into his arms, she hugged crying him. And then she said:

"I'm so sorry called you ... but ... I just have nobody ..."

As she spoke, and cried, she realized how much he was handsome and fragrant.

"How is she?" Hotch said referring to her mother.

"She's still in surgery, she fell down the stairs and hit her head, it's a brain surgery ..."

She calmed down and looked at Hotch:

"Aaron ... I can not lose her ..."

Hotch did not know what to say, he did not want to be there, but the poor girl, he worked hard to try to put himself in her place, so he just hugged her. Suddenly, she took out her face from his chest, and looked at him:

"Where were you?"

"Let's focus on your mother ok?" He said coldly.

She realized that he did not want to tell, so she did not insist. She was really worried about her mother, and she wanted a company, but of course she would take advantage of the situation.

Morgan was relaxed, watching some MMA fight on TV, beer cans strewn all over the room, some peanuts scattered on the floor, even his dog was tired of peanuts, when the doorbell rang. He lived in a condominium of lofts, and only a few people were allowed to enter unannounced, so when the bell rang, he knew that it was someone very close to him, or some unwelcome neighbor. He was a little surprised because of the hour; it was not so late, but it was almost midnight. He looked through the peephole, sighed, and opened door, very opened, as if, deep down, he was already waiting for it to happen.

He looked at her, her eyes were swollen and red, red face too; he just hugged her, he brought her to a big and strong hug, just let his hand a little to lock the door behind her. They were there, standing arm in arm, for a few minutes, and she sobbed with her head stuck in his chest, she allowed herself to cry. She left the hug, sat on the couch, leaned hers elbows on the her legs and covered her face with both the hands; he sat on the couch, very close to her, brought her to his chest again and made circles with the palm of his hand all over her back, trying to calm her down. And she cryed and cryed, until calm down. After about ten minutes this way, he said:

"Do you wanna talk about it?" ...

Some seconds later, she answered:

"No" ...

"Sorry I come here", she said quietly, sad, already had stopped crying.

Emily knew she could not run for Morgan; not with him in love with her, she could not use him like this, it was irresponsible she goes there; but she just can not help herself, she needed to feel loved. And in the arms of Morgan, she felt.

With both hands, he held her face, looked into her eyes, very close, and said:

"You will always can come to me."

They stayed there for a while. Morgan comforting her, she managed to calm herself, she felt fine with it. They were just like the old days of friendship, he wanted to take a step forward with her, but he would not take advantage of herweaknesses, not today; so he just did the 'helpful friend' line. They were watching a very funny old movie on TV; Emily was on the couch with her feet on the couch, and Morgan was on the opposite side of the same couch with his feet also the sofa; they were relaxed, Emily's mouth was slightly open, when her cellphone rang a text, she closed her mouth, swallowed, looked at Morgan (he looked at her too) and looked at the phone. Morgan could not read nothing in her face.

**So folks, from whom the message is? And what the message says? Had Hotch already broke up with Beth? Guys, do not be mad at me, I really want to show that human relationships are so complicated, even when dealing with people as complex as our Criminal Mind's angels. But I promise, things will improve for our angels, especially for our long suffering Emily.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi Guys, how are with you? I appreciate the comments, thanks. They help me a lot to decide which way this story will take. I warn that this chapter will be a little hot (Emily maybe with Morgan, maybe with Hotch, maybe with Clyde). Please do not read if you don't like it and if you are under age.  
I own nothing; just the musings of this story.**

Emily looked back at her cell phone, to reread the message, it was from Hotch. And it said:

{_Again I'm sorry, I promise to redeem me, if you still want. Aaron._}

Emily did not answer the message. She did not have an answer now. She was very hurt. She could not say that she was a little happy because of the message; it made her see that he cared about her; nevertheless, she felt the message cold and distant. She looked at Morgan and said:

"Derek, it's getting too late. I need to go."

Emily was really in love with Aaron, but, at the same time, she felt so right she was there, in that moment, with Morgan; she felt so safe with him; when Hotch sent that message, she automatically was brought back to her harsh reality, and for that person that would suppose to make her feel great. She got surprised by this feeling.

Morgan looked at her and said nothing. He realized that neither she knew what to do.

"Can you call a cab for me?" She said, softly.

Morgan said:

"Emily, you can stay here. Tomorrow is Sunday and I can drive you home..."

"Derek, is not necessary ..."

"Ok, but then I'll drive you ..." And was raising up from the couch.

"No, I will not get you out of your home at this time of night…"

"So you stay here ..." He said charmingly.

Emily smiled and nodded:

"ok.."

Morgan's Loft was something for a single person with no family; almost without furniture; he had only what was necessary for his own survival, but he had decent accommodations in one of the bedrooms, just in case of his mother and sisters come to visit him.

Then he took Emily to the guest room, which also had a private bathroom. Emily was in the bathroom. She looked at her own image at the mirror. Recalling the events of that night, the beautiful things that Hotch had told her… She was calm, serene, no more tears. She was trying to compartmentalizing everything. She took her mental boxes, kept everything inside, put the doubts that was hammering in her head: Hotch had broke up with Beth? What had happened that made him left me in the middle of dinner? Why did not he tell me the reason; gave me no explanation? So she boxed everything and tried to relax.

When she left the bathroom, she saw a big white shirt on the bed. Morgan had left there for her to sleep with. She smiled at his gesture. She changed and lay down. She took a long time to get to sleep. After about a half an hour she was still trying to sleep, she heard two light taps on the door:

"I am awake, come in" ... She said.

Then Morgan opened the door and put just his face in:

"Just wanted to say good night" ...

"Come here" ... She asked and he, o-b-v-i-o-u-s-l-y, went.

Emily was lying on her side, facing forward, and Morgan sat on the bed, near her. After a few moments, she took his hand and said, trying to look (because it was dark) straight into his eyes:

"Thank you ..."

"For what?"

"For being my friend, for understand me, for take care of me, for save my life, for… and I could spend a lifetime listing things... and would not be enough…"

Morgan just squeeze her hand in response. He wanted so bad to say: 'I do all of this because **I love you'** ... but he said nothing; he did not want make her feel bad about not loving him back. Not today. She had already had her quota of suffering for today. Then, he just stayed quiet, there, just holding her hand.  
The room was dark, there was only the moonlight coming through the crack the window pane. It was full moon night and the sky was lit. After a few minutes Emily said:

"I was so focused on me, I did not ask, how was your lunch with Garcia?"

Morgan was surprised a little that she knew about it, but then he remembered that they had came together in the BAU, and Garcia was everything but discreet. He replied:

"Garcia is great ... She always makes me laugh, she always makes me fell better"...

'Unlike me', Emily thought wryly, and said:

"Yeah, she is the best ...You know…. she likes you" ... Emily said.

"I know ... I like her too ..." Morgan said.

"Yeah….but…. I think she likes you in a different way"...

"What do you mean?"... Morgan looked at her curiously.

Emily did not want to deliver Garcia's secrets; Garcia had not confirmed that she was in love with Morgan, so she could not do it with her friend. So she just played:

"I think she likes you…romantically"...

"Oh….No. .. of course not, we're like brothers"... Morgan said.

Emily thought for a moment and decided to stay quiet. She did not want to give the impression that she was throwing him in Garcia's arms. He was being so nice to her and she did not want to hurt him over more. Then Morgan stuck his hands in Emily's hair, who was lying down, put some strands of her hair behind her ear and said:

"I'm going to let you sleep….have a good night. Any problem, I'm in the next bedroom ..."

"Thank you, again" ...

He planted a kiss on her forehead and left.

Emily soon fell asleep; her problems were all nicely boxed.

Morgan took a little time to sleep. He stood there thinking of Emily in the next room, wearing his clothes, he wanted to be there with her, sleeping embraced. He really wanted to have sex with her, but today, today he just wanted to sleep hugging her. And even that he could not do.

The next morning he woke up earlier than usual for a Sunday; he had an Emily Prentiss sleeping in his house, and he could not fail, he had to impress her. Then, he jumped out of bed, prepared the coffee, warm bread etc ... Soon she woke up and down the stairs:

'' Good morning'' she said ...

'' Good morning princess, sleep well?''

'' Yes.'' She said stretching.

"The smell is delicious ...''

And then they had coffee, talked nonsense. After breakfast, Emily went to the bedroom to change her clothes, leaving Morgan there, in the kitchen, taking care of crockery.

In the bathroom, she took off Morgan's shirt, looking at the image in the mirror she saw the set (bra and panties) that she was wearing, she had bought especially for the last night; she knew Hotch would not see, but it was for him. She thought:

'Well, I think this cetin red with black lace did not give me luck', and she drafted a smile.

She was in her bra and panties, those hyper super sexy, in the bathroom, but the dress was hanging on the chair in the bedroom, so she left the bathroom. She put her feets in the room just to be face to face with Morgan. He almost fell down the legs with that image of her. He froze and paralyzed. His mouth was stopped on his feet.

He shook his head slightly and said:

"I. .. I'm sorry ... just ... I. .. I. .. I'm sorry ..." ... He flew out of the room, he would be able to grab her right there, and he would not answer for his actions. He was only able to breathe when he left the bedroom. He had seen more than a hundred women in underwear, but never felt like that.

Emily was a little embarrassed, just a little. She put her dress and left the room. Morgan was there sitting on the couch waiting for her. He was going to drive her home.

"Emily, sorry again ... I just wanted to say that if you wanted to keep my clothes, then you would return me... I did not ..."

"Derek, it's alright, relax..."

"It was a long time ago that a man saw me naked; but I already have been naked for several men before" ... Emily said grinning.

If it were not for the pang that Morgan felt in his heart from hearing that, he could tell that she was courting him.

'Several men?! "He thought.

They were going to Emily's place when both cell received a message: "BAU, urgent". It was JJ. Morgan then took Emily to her place and waited for her to change, make the go bag.

While Emily was packing and changing, she spoke to the cat, whom was lying in her bed:

"Serge, my date with Hotch ... well ... did not work ... but I'll tell you latter about it ... now ... we have a case… Sunday ... I hope it's nothing so horrific''...

The cat opened a little his eyes, just to look at her, he did not move.

"Serg, buddy, I do not know if I want to see Hotch today" ...

She talked and talked, incoherently, and arranged her things. Soon she went out. And the cat thanked.

Arriving at BAU, they left the elevator; Emily and Morgan came face to face with Garcia, who was walking down the hall with some papers in her hands.

"Morning, baby girl.'' Morgan said.

''Morning, Pen''. Emily said smiling at her friend.

Garcia looked at Morgan, smiled and looked at Emily and left without answering. Emily was surprised and Morgan did not notice anything. They went to the meeting room, where were Rossi, Reid and JJ. Everyone sat and JJ began presenting the case to the team. Emily prayed silently for someone asks why Hotch was not there; she would not do that. Finally, Reid seems to have heard her prayers:

"Where is Hotch?" Reid said.

Emily did not look but really opened her ears.

"He has a personal problem." JJ said.

'Damn!' Emily thought. She really wanted to know what was going on with him.

JJ was presenting the case to the whole team. It was a case in a small town, and children were disappearing. Emily said:

"If children are disappearing and their bodies are not found, they must been used for something ..."

"Some people think that is normal to **use** people". Garcia said that looking directly at Emily eyes.

Emily understood nothing and fell silent.

"Plane leaves in 20 minutes." Rossi said.

Before leave the room, Emily called Garcia:

"Hey Pen, is everything okay?" Emily said softly.

"With me, yes (of course; that was a lie)... And you?"

"Me too…." (of course; that was a big lie too). Emily smiled sadly. Definitely that was not Garcia she used to.

The team traveled without Hotch, but he was trying to coordinate team's actions from distance. He was always in contact with Morgan and Rossi, or JJ.

Emily was interviewing one of victim's parents, when she felt her cell phone vibrate, she immediately grabbed the phone, it could be something related to the case, then she saw it was a message from Hotch, well, it could be related to the case too, then she read:

{_I have not stopped thinking about you, even for a minute. I'll explain everything, I promise. Aaron_.}

Emily got back to work. She had no time to digest it now. Not with so many children to be saved.

They were all gathered at the station, they were close to catch the unsub, Emily's cell phone rang again, she looked at the display to see who it was: Clyde's face. She was very surprised but did not answer. It was a year that they had met again, because of the Ian's episode; but, since then, they had not spoken anymore. Clyde ketp insisting on the call, and she did not answer. He kept calling, he knew she was stubborn, and he knew he had to insist enough.

Emily was getting nervous because, she is stubborn, but he, he was much much more, so she entered a room at the station and decided to answer it:

"I'm working on a case, what you want?"

"Sorry I missed your funeral ..." He said sarcastically.

"So, you are not surprised..." She said.

"Of course, not, keep both eyes on my best agents is a skill of mine; especially in a hot one like you..."

"I can not talk now, what you want?"

"I'm in D.C. I need to talk with you."

"Well I'm not. I'll call you when I get there. Bye."

Then she hung up.

Clyde smiled and hung up. She was difficult to be tamed. But he liked a lot this challenge.  
The team stayed in that city for tree day more; and managed to save the kids, they would be used for organ trafficking.

And they were able to rescue all them alive.

They returned to BAU on Wednesday night and every one went home.

Emily was lying on the couch, in her place, relaxed, watching old stuff on TV, trying not to access their mental boxes; and luckily for Serge, she was quiet.

It was about eight o'clock at night, she was tired, almost sleepy, when the doorbell rang. She startled by the sound of the bell. She got up and looked through the peephole: Hotch!

She was wearing an old shirt and gym shorts. And she did not bother to change.

She thought a little, bit her lip and opened the door for him:

"Hi, Can I come in?"... He said.

She just opened the door for him to enter.

He entered and went straight to the living room. Hurriedly, seriously, typical Aaron Hotcher.

She went behind him, turned off the TV and said:

"Have a seat ..."

He sat on a couch, and she in another. At that time, Serge got up and went to sleep in the bedroom. He did not want to hear this conversation.

And then Hotch began:

"Emily, look, once again I apologize for what happened on Saturday ..."

Emily cut him and said:

"I bet you must have had a good reason for that ..." She said quietly. Inside she was on fire, but did not let it show.

"I do not know if you'll think that was a good reason ... but I want to tell you everything"...

"I'm all ears"... Emily said, sarcastically.

"It was Beth on the phone ..."

Emily smiled bitterly to herself, thinking: 'of course' ... She said nothing and waited for him to continue.

"Her mother had suffered a domestic accident on Saturday night, she was with her mother at the hospital, her mother was in surgery, and she had no one to run to..."

Emily was listening, but that whole story was falling hard to swallow; it was pretty typical story of lovers leaning on one another; and she was feeling like "the other" in history, more like an intruder.

And he realized it.

Hotch was talking but he was also feeling that the whole conversation would not lead to anything. Then he stopped, sat down on the same couch of hers, and said:

"Look, Emily, that was supposed to be our night, our special night; but…at that moment, she called me, it seemed the right thing to do, support her" ...

"Of course, running to rescue your girlfriend ... I think I can understand that ..." In fact, she wanted to kill him at that time.

She got up off the couch and walk across the living room, near the big window, looking out. She did not want to be near him.

At that moment, Hotch realized the size of the damage he had done. But he also felt a sting in her words and it hurt him. But he still had not finished saying everything.

He felt the hurt in her words, he had to clarify things, many things, and he would do it now, and he would start by parts.

He got up from the couch, walked over to her, but not too close and:

"Emily, look at me"...

She was looking through the large window, arms crossed. He waited for her to turn to look at him and continued:

"Do you really think I'd invite you for a date…. had said those things I told you… if I was still dating Beth?"

Now she swallowed ... and remained quiet.

"Because if you think it about me, you really do not know me..."

Emily's heart was decreasing. She said in her defense:

"You had told me nothing about it ..."

But her words made it worse:

"Emily ... you really believe I went out with you while dating her?"

He could not believe it, he was upset now.

Her mouth opened slightly.

"I don't know Hotch ... I don't know what it was about….our date..." She was lost in her words.

And more Emily talked, more she spoiled things.

"Emily, after the things I told you….. after I tell you how I feel about you ... you still don't know what this is about?"

He seemed calm, but he was saddening.

Of course she knew what was that about, but her insecurity was screaming inside her. So, she told:

"You left me in the middle of dinner for run to her ..."

Hotch remained serene, and in a tone of disappointment, said:

"And…about that night…this was the only thing you recorded?"

He just could not believe it, and… Emily's heart was breaking.

She did not answer, she did not know what to say, so he said:

"I came here to apologize again….to see if we could continue from the point we stopped…..I spent so many years keeping this feeling just for me…..when I met you for the first time, I was still married…..then, came the divorce…. and so many things happened…..we work together….and we know the rules of the BAU on relationships….but, guess what Emily….I don't want to have a life separate from my own heart anymore ... do you have any idea what is living with your own heart outside the chest?... I don't do live like that anymore…..and I was ready to risk everything….for you..."

Emily seemed to diminish in size in every word he spoke, not knowing what to say, again, she said:

"You ran to her and it made me feel bad" ...

"I've already explained the reasons ... and just for you to know, her mother passed away ... and all these days, I was helping with the funeral stuff..."

Emily's eyes widened and she felt bad. She said:

"I'm so sorry, but I had no way of knowing what was happening..."

"I know. That's why I'm here telling you everything"...

She was feeling so sad because of the dinner; but after all that Hotch had just said, she felt worse; she thinking that he was still dating Beth, she felt a complete idiot about it; like a teenager with jealousy's crisis. And now she was standing there in front of him without reaction and his face expression was of complete disappointment; it seemed until he had repented of having declared himself to her. He broke the silence again:

"Well….I think... I should go ..."

And he turned to head toward the door.

Emily was so ashamed of herself that could not open her mouth to say anything. Her feet seemed glued to the floor.

Hotch was determined to leave; leaving behind everything that had happened. He was always very thoughtful; and he was beginning to wonder if he had done the right thing declaring himself to Emily. He gave only two steps toward the door and turned to look at Emily again, planted in the ground. He decided to give them one last chance, it would be the last chance, because he was willing to pretend that none of this had happened, so he said:

"You have something to say?"

It seemed that this question had brought her back to reality. She said:

"Yes."

Then she took a few steps until be very close to him. Her eyes ran across his face, she could feel his breath, she looked at his mouth, and looked deep in his eyes and whispered:

"I love you!"

Speaking these three little words, she felt completely naked. She was giving him more than everything, she was giving him her heart and soul, and that meant a lot for an Emily Prentiss. It had no point of return.  
Listening to the three words, Hotch was mesmerized. He was completely sure about Emily's love for him; but he doubted a lot that, one day, she would say it; even more that this day would be today.

He felt his heart back to the chest, after long years. And it not only returned to his chest; it had paced around all his body, finally finding the right place, but it still beat senseless; so he pulled Emily into a big hug. During the embrace, his heart found the right rhythm, and managed to calm down; as if it was the first time in his life in the right place. Incredibly Emily felt the same thing. Her heart, that was used to be a whirlwind of emotions, pounded, calm.

Emily looked at his eyes again; and his eyes was looking at her mouth, slightly open, her eyes were fixed on his mouth. And Hotch kissed her lips, the kiss was soft and began delving more and more, they were very hungry one another.

It was the perfect match. Neither of them wanted to leave the kiss...

Emily, without breaking the kiss, led Hotch back to the couch, she made him sit, and she sat on him, completely hugging his body with her legs. The kiss was never broken.  
And so they stayed there for a long long time; tasting one another's taste in their mouths.

Their bodies were stuck together, separated only by the clothes. Emily could feel Hotch's body reactions just below her. Suddenly, she stopped the kiss ... only ... to take out her Tshirt ... and she did it looking straight into his eyes ... she was wearing a very basic black bra, far from resemble the one she had bought especially for this occasion. Hotch's mouth opened a bit by looking at her breast so close to his face... And she took his mouth opened again to resume the kiss ... everything seemed right for her at that time.

Hotch had not had sex with anyone since Haley. It was four years since the divorce. This was a department that, somehow, he had left boxed. There wasn't for free that he practically lived in the BAU.

But of course, he did not forget how to do it.

Hotch suddenly stopped kissing, and looked at her:

"Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely sure" ... She said looking into his eyes...

Then she stuck her mouth and blew into his ear:

"I want you inside me right now!"

Hotch's body seemed to take their own accord and it seemed he could not breathe. Hearing this from Emily, he seized that they were still in the same position; she was sitting on top of him; her legs wide open around his body; he was getting numb with the neckline of the bra, white skin, soft and fragrant. He buried his head between her breasts, while licked the exposed part of her breast; he stretched his hands on her back to unfasten the bra. He took off her bra and released there on the floor.

As he licked her nipples, Emily bit her lips and moaned, then he sucked harder, leaving Emily completely breathless. And she held his head by the few hairs he had.

She hadn't had this feeling since Ian's time. Ian was a bandit, criminal, murderous, etc., but he knew how to make a woman shudder with pleasure. Clyde was also good, but it was just the basic, and the others ... well, there's no comparison.

They stood there on the couch, delivered to pleasure, red faces, panting, groaning and without air for a few moments more.

Trying to breathe, Hotch got up from the couch with her tied around his waist ... climbed the stairs to her room, specifically her bed.

In the bedroom, Serge was there in the middle of the bed. When Serg looked at that scene, he scared:

"Wow, this crazy, she is no longer enough, now has one more for me to handle with, I'm out!"

And so the cat disappeared from the room.

Hotch just pulled the blanket from the bed and put Emily lying. And he fell upon her for one more kiss.

It did not take very long for both were completely naked.

After tasting every inch of Emily's body with his tongue, Hotch was over Emily, he could no longer hold any more, so slowly, he went inside her, and while he did it, he looked directly into her face; he did not want to lose her reactions.

Well, needless to say they made love passionately all night.

**OK. Sorry if the end of this chapter was a little frustrating, but I don't know like to write in detail about sex. It has lots of adventure ahead for our characters (especially for Emily, Hotch, Clyde, Morgan, Garcia). And I just wanted to clarify that Serge, Emily's cat, he really likes her, but he likes more silence and peace, so he doesn't have much patience with her. She talks a lot on his mind. And cats are temperamental; but he loves her, ok.**


	9. Chapter 9

Hi Guys. Thanks for the comments. Next chapters will be tense.  
I own nothing.

Next morning, Emily and Hotch woke to the sound of the alarm, it was 6 o'clock in the morning; they were exhausted (but happy) thanks to the night before.

Hotch was lying on his back and Emily was lying on with her head on his chest. He opened his eyes to the alarm but he didn't want to get up; and Emily was very happy, she almost asked herself if it was a "dream"; it seemed too much for her: waking up with a Hotcher Aaron completely naked on her bed…

They hadn't talked anything about how their lives would be going forward from this.

Hotch planted a kiss on her head, and stood up quickly, as she stretched, still in bed.

"Morning." He said.

She just smiled at him, and watched him out of bed, getting dressed.

"I'll make coffee" ... She said sitting to stand up.

"That is not necessary. I need to go to my place, before going to the BAU." He told her as he dressed.

"Ok" ... She said.

Emily felt a twinge of insecurity, she thought, 'Is he sorry?'

She quickly shook the thought out of her mind, stood up for her robe, and followed him to the front door.

The front door already open, Hotch turned to Emily and said:

"The night was amazing, we'll talk about it later, ok" ...

She smiled a little and:

"Ok" ...

Inside, she felt a bitter taste, and she didn't like to feel it.

Hotch put his foot in the elevator, but when she was closing the door, she felt someone pushing the door back to open it. It was Hotch. Without say anything, he just pulled her into a passionate kiss, very hot one.

After a few minutes, he dropped it and:

"See you at the office" ...

And so he left. Emily's heart calmed. And she said to herself, 'Emily, you need to stop being so insecure' ...

But in fact she had many questions to think about: How would things be going forward. Of course she couldn't tell anyone of the team. Of course they were going to have to hide it. But, for how long? What about Morgan's feelings? 'I can't hurt him anymore...' She thought. And Garcia? Why is she so different with me? And Clyde? What the hell he wants with me now? While she was waiting for coffee at the coffee machine, in her kitchen, she was wandering…

She was drinking coffee, and talking to Serge, who was eating his food in small bowl:

"Serg, is that life so complicated? It's been a while I've been trying to do the right things, but it's hard ... I hope that after this night, Hotch and I finally ... "

She stopped talking, afraid of the words.

Serge thanked heaven; he wanted to eat in peace.

She showered, dressed. Gray suit. And went for BAU.

Arriving at BAU, Hotch was already in his office. JJ was in her room. Rossi was in his office. Reid was preparing a coffee for himself, and

Morgan hadn't arrived yet. Garcia was in her room.

Emily greeted Reid and sat at her table. For now, no new cases, then she stuck her head to complete the last case's files.

Going to his desk, Reid said:

"Hey Emily, you look different today" ... And smiled at her.

She didn't understand what he meant, and only smiled back. She didn't want extend this conversation.

Morgan arrived and said good morning to Emily and Reid. She seemed happy, at least he was normal. She hated to see him sad.

"Hey Morgan, Emily looks different today ..."

Morgan immediately turned to look at her. She looked embarrassed at him, looked back to the files; she really loved Reid, but in that momentshe was hating him. Morgan tried but didn't see anything different about her.

They remained involved with work for the rest of the morning.

About 10 AM, Emily's phone rang, it was Clyde. 'Hell. I had forgotten return his call'. She didn't answer. She didn't want to talk to him there, at BAU.

Near midday, Emily's phone vibrates again, it was message this time:

{_I still have your taste in my mouth. A._}

Emily's mouth dropped and she blushed, smiling. She didn't expect that from him, there at BAU.

And it has not gone unnoticed by Morgan.

She saw that Morgan was looking at her, she tried to disguise and frowned. Their desks were really very close. 'Too much close', she thought.

Nearly one in the afternoon, they were preparing themselves for lunch, Rossi was around asking who wanted to go to lunch with him; JJ had gone home for lunch, she liked to go home for lunch, with Henry and Will when the team wasn't traveling, and it was rare; Emily, Morgan, Gacia and Reid were there with Rossi, deciding where they would go; Hotch was going down the stairs holding some papers n his hand; when a figure entered through the glass door, smiling at them: Clyde.

Emily was sitting, back to the door. But the whole team was looking at Clyde coming in, so she turned to see at what the team was looking.

She first opened her mouth, a lot, then swallowed, stood and walked to him:

"What are you doing in here?" She said between her teeth. Only for him to hear.

"Oh Emily, it is an awful way to welcome me ..." He said while walked to meet the team.

Clyde greeted everyone, shaking everyone's hand and smiling.

Hotch was a little farther from the team, but he was watching. Clyde just greeted him from afar. But Hotch didn't return. He was really just looking.

It was noticeable Emily's discomfort.

A year ago, when Clyde had helped profiler Ian Doyle, Hotch had suspected that Emily had a romantic past with him, this was only a suspect and he wasn't sure of anything; but today, based on her reactions, he was completely sure about it. Very few things went unnoticed by Aaron Hotchner.

The team wasn't so friendly with Clyde. They greeted politely but it was clear that they didn't like him.  
He brought back bad memories from Emily's past. And most importantly, they knew it was Clyde who had throwed Emily for Ian Doyle at first place.

After greeting everyone, he turned to Emily and said:

"You don't return my calls, so I had to come here ..."

He said as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"We were leaving for lunch ..." Emily said.

The sudden Clyde's visit caught her by surprise, and a very unpleasant surprise.

But she knew Clyde very well. She said in surrender:

"You always have bad timing"...

They were leaving when Morgan turned to Emily and said:

"Emily, will you come?"

Hotch also stood there waiting for her answer.

But Clyde standing there, she didn't have many options. Then she replied:

"I think I'll solve it first" ... She said pointing to Clyde.

Hotch frowned even more; the whole team went out for lunch and Hotch went back to his office.

Emily turned to Clyde and said:

"Just give me a minute, I need to deliver that report to my boss" ...

And so, she took any paper from her desk and flew toward the Hotch's office.

"Ok. darling." Clyde said smiling.

In Hotch's room, Emily came in and shut the door behind her. He just looked at her.

"Hotch …. Aaron ... Clyde is calling me for a few days now; so I'm going to talk to him, to know what he wants ..."

She was talking to him but suddenly she felt ridiculous giving him explanations.

"Okay Emily. Just let me know if you need anything."

"OK. Thanks".

She was turning to leave when she heard from Hotch:

"Emily, you can take the rest of the day off. If we have new cases, JJ calls you"...

Emily felt a strange feeling again. And she thought: 'Does Hotch made some course, undergraduate, graduate, masters, doctorate, to make me feel so insecure? He is really so good at it '...

She turned to look at him, came very close to him, supported both her hands on his desk, so she was leaning on the table, (he grew up his eyes on her neckline), and she said:

"Replying to your morning message, depending on me, you'll never get my taste out from your mouth" ...

Smirked devilishly at him, and left the room.

And so she left the room more confident of herself. And Hotch sat there thinking about throw away the papers to the air and catch her right there. But he knew he couldn't do that. He had to settle things, he really wanted to make public and serious his relationship with Emily, but he knew he couldn't do it, no way. He knew a storm was ahead, he could feel it. At best, one of them would have to leave BAU. Well, he would try to delay it as long as possible.

Exiting the elevator next to Clyde, she said:

"Where we going?"

"Somewhere quiet enough ..."

"Clyde, if you are thinking about ..."

" Oh Em, please, I know you must miss my sexy body, but it's a serious issue, that I have to deal with you ...

She snorted his impudence size.

They were walking to her car. Suddenly she looked at him:

"Where's your car?"

"I got cab, you know I don't like to drive here, every time I rented a car here, things did not go well...

He was mocking.

And they got into the Emily's car.

Sitting comfortably, he said:

"We can go to my hotel, we can talk more privately ..."

He had not finished speaking and Emily cut him:

"No way I'll stick me in a hotel room with you" ...

He laughed:

"You are afraid of not resist ..."

Emily had no patience for it, then she said:

"Clyde, please stop, if you have something serious to say, then just say; I do not want any jokes" ...

"It's not a joke…. (He smiled)… Ok.. ok..."

They went to quiet restaurant, almost empty. It was lunchtime, but Emily didn't even feel hungry anymore. She just wanted it over with.

Neither she understood why she was being so rude to him. She knew it was because he had been a complete son of a bitch with her, during all the time they lived. But she did not want to think about it. Because she knew if that was really the reason, it was because she still had unresolved feelings with him. So she avoided thinking about it. Let's be practical.

They asked for something to eat. And Emily then asked:

"So what you have to say? ..."

"I've been promoted" ...

"Oh, lucky you ..." ... "What does this have to do with me?"

"We are looking for someone to work at London office" ...

"I don't get it" ...

"Of course you got, Em ... This is exactly what you're thinking ..."

He knew her really well, and it irritated her.

"I… work for INTERPOL again? No way ..."

"Look, it's not **work** it's **run.**.. There is a big difference ..."

He emphasized the words.

He noticed that she stopped to think ... she was surprised ...

A thousand things were going through her mind now, but the main one was Aaron, and she knew that one of them would have to leave the BAU, but she thought, it has to be so far?

Clyde then said:

"You can think about it, but we need an answer soon; I have cases all over the world to resolve"...  
Secretly, she was grateful when she heard the words 'all over the world', it meant that if she accepted the job, he would be very away from her.

She was very beautiful in her navy blue suit, and when she touched her lips in a small cup of coffee she was drinking after lunch, he could not resist:

"Time is your ally ... You look even more sexy" ...

She almost spat coffee. She laughed inside, it was a nervous laugh.

He didn't resist and touched her hand, which was on the table.

She immediately pulled it.

"Come on, you used to like it ..."

"You said it right, used! That was a long time ago ..." She said, hardly.

He had outstanding things to bring for the moment, so he said:

"Em, I know I was a jerk to you at that time, but I thought it was only about sex from your part too ..."

She took a deep breath, she knew that one day they would have to have this conversation.

She wanted to say to him that it was all about sex, but she knew it wasn't, and she didn't want appear to be that kind of woman; but, at the same time, she wouldn't say that she really felt something special for him.

And for his pleasant surprise, she said:

"Let's talk about this somewhere else."

And she took him straight to her place.

Once there, she made another coffee, the conversation would be difficult.

The cat growled to Clyde and stood there. Serge didn't like to intrude himself in Emily's life, but strangely he cuddled further on the couch and stayed there. Of course Clyde sat on another couch.

"I don't know how I managed to live so long away from you ..."

Emily was standing in the room as he spoke to him. She was surprised, he wasn't able to open up himself, even more when it comes to feelings issues.

"You missed your chance" ...

"Maybe we can start from the point we stopped"...

She laughed nervously. But they had a past, a big past.

"If I remember correctly, the point we stopped was you telling me to put myself in bed with Ian Doyle" ... She said sarcastically.

And that hurt him. In the past, didn't. But today it hurt a lot.

"You were really waiting to throw it on my face ... eh, okay, I deserve..."

"Clyde, when I called you, saying that it was getting hard to get away from Ian, because he wanted to fuck with me, I was desperate, I had already delivered you a lot of information about him, information that would be enough to arrest him for a long time; but you wanted more; and threw me in his arms. Do you remember that call? That day, I saw, I realized I was no more than one object in your hands..."

Emily had actually saved all this hurt inside. She had to work it out. She wanted to rescue this mental box and delivering exactly to whom it belonged. It was an overweight. One less box for her to keep in her mind.

Clyde was getting nervous, he never dealt with emotions. He didn't even know how to handle with it.

At that moment he stood up to talk to her. Then he said, nervous and almost shouting:

"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't tell me you were in love with me? Why didn't say you wanted protection? Why didn't tell me you didn't want to do that job?"

She looked at him with a disgust face and scorn.

"Oh. Please ... do you really think I'm the kind of woman who opens legs just for sex?"

"As far as I remember you used to open your legs very easy for me"…

Emily's mouth dropped in hell now. Upon hearing this, instantly, she slapped him with the palm of her right hand right, straight on his face, with strong force.

And with that slap, she ended the conversation.

"I'm sorry, Em. I'm sorry ... I do really have to apologize, I don't know how to go back and fix this. And change that, and say that I would do differently; but now that we are going forward ... "

"We aren't going anywhere; for now we have nothing; but if it happens, it'll be only professionally. Let's make things very clear here."

"Yeah, I know…"

"And Clyde, do….not….expect….anything….beyond….that….because….it….will….not….going….to….happen"...

She said it very slowly.

Their relationship was always very intense, so curses and slaps were very common among them.

"I think we have nothing else to talk, so you can go now ... I'll call you when I have an answer"...

"It's a great challenge, with excellent rewards, especially financial, think fondly ... we need someone with your profile, competence and experience. If you need, I send you more details."

"Ok". She ended. And he left.

She waited until evening to see if Hotch call her. But he did not. So she decided to surprise him. She got up and went to his place. Once there, she rang the bell and waited. She needed to see him, touch him, feel that last night was real. She was floating, she did not like this situation. Emily Prentiss has always had both feet firmly stuck to the ground. The door finally opened ... and Emily stared at the picture there in front of her: Beth.

Emily felt her heart breaking ...

"Hi Emily, Hotch is putting Jack in bed ... Come here."

"Oh. No.. Thanks, I'll talk to him later, I was in the neighborhood ... but talk to him later..."

"Okay." Beth said smiling.

Emily was going out and just returned to say:

"Beth, I'm sorry for your mother ..."

"Thank you Emily"...

**And, folks, is that Emily will take the job? And what Beth was doing Hotch's place? ****Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease send your opinions!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing!**

Emily walked away quickly. She wanted to disappear, and drove shed tears. But it wasn't a despair tears, but a deep sadness.  
Meanwhile, at Hotch's place, Beth waited for him in the living room, sitting on the couch.

Finally he returned from the Jack's bedroom. He looked at her sitting there, she was kind of helpless. He didn't know what to do with her.

She noticed his discomfort and said:

"Aaron, I'm sorry once again for coming here ... but I always went back straight home after work; and now I no longer have my mother waiting for me ... everything seems so empty and meaningless ... "

She was talking and tears rolling. Hotch, without action, said:

"Look, Beth, I'm so sorry but there is nothing I can do about it ..."

"But if you can just hear me ..."

He wanted to tell her 'I'm completely in love with another woman and I can not receive you here at home everyday' ... But he couldn't tell her ... She too was devastated because of her mother.

He had no idea that Emily had been there. And Beth never told him.

"I can hear you, but my life is very restricted, but you will always be able to call me if you need ... He waited a little and said:

Can I call you a cab?"

"Sure" ... But she did not like it at all.

So he called a cab for her and she went home.

The minute she left, he called Emily.

She had put the her cellphone on the passenger seat and saw that Aaron was calling her. She did not answer. She was hurt. Not only because of that night, but because she was a pit of sorrow. So any new facts like have to come across with Beth's face stuck in his house ... ah ... it was unbearable.

Emily finally went home, stood there on the couch for a while. She looked at Serge who was lying on the couch, asleep. She wanted someone to talk but he was asleep. She thought about Morgan, but she couldn't run for him anymore. Even more now that he stopped courting her. Hotch had called twice more, but she didn't answer. That night, she had surrendered herself to suffering.

Next day she woke up there on the couch, terrible face, swollen eyes, pale, a human rag. Serge hit her with their feet, he was hungry, he wanted to eat:

"ok buddy, I'll feed you ..."

She fed the cat and made a strong coffee for herself.

She was the first to arrive at BAU. Let's stick to the work since the love life sucks.

Hotch was already there, of course.

Immediately when he saw Emily come in, he called her to his office:

"Emily, my office, please" ...

There was nobody else there, but he had to keep the formality.

She swallowed and went.

Emily entered, he locked the door behind her and closed the blinds. He turned to her and said quietly:

"You have not answered my calls ..."

She had no excuse for it, so she stayed quiet.

"Emily, I'm talking to you ..."

Aaron Hotcher is an important man with the measured time ever. He had no time to lose, further during working hours.

"I don't know what you want me to say" ...

"How about starting by telling me why you didn't answer my calls ..."

"I was upset ..."

"With me? You leave here with the Clyde, and is upset with me?"

Emily was getting nervous, she thought, 'chutzpah'...

"Emily, please, I don't have the time or age to play games. Tell me what's going on ..."

At that moment she turned to him, looking into his eyes, she screamed and almost spitting, pointing the finger at his face.:

"**YOU** tell me what you were doing with your little girlfriend into your house last night" ...

That caught him by surprise but he was always prepared for anything. Weighted Aaron Hotcher. He knew what to do with a woman with acute crisis of jealousy in front of him. Then he said quietly.

"She's not my girlfriend, and I thought I had been clear enough about that. How do you know she was there?"

"I went to surprise you, and I was the one that had a surprise. A bitter surprise."

He had no time to discuss it now. The team was coming and there were new cases. And he had gotten mad at Beth for telling nothing about Emily's visit. He would use it to get further away from her.

For the moment, he had only one option:

"Emily, look at me, I love you, and you need to decide, believe and trust me or not; because otherwise, it will not work".

Of course, an Emily Prentiss was not satisfied with that answer. But she knew it was a issue for later.

"We have new cases, let's focus on work for now, but on the way back we will have a final conversation, including about Clyde."

He said and she left the room.

Let's focus on work.

JJ presented the case for the team and they all traveled to a town in Texas. It was a case that bodies were being found on the banks of a river. For this case, specifically, Garcia traveled with the team. They were going over the case during the entire trip.

Hotch and Emily were focused at work. They knew how to separate things.

It had been three days that they were working here, but the unsub had stopped the killing, then the tracks were getting scarce. At the station, Reid and Garcia were checking computer data, Morgan was preparing coffee for himself, Hotch was out with the delegate, and

Emily, JJ and Rossi had gone to talk to the families of the victims.

The team was all gathered again at the station, it was almost midnight and there were no new clues, no bodies, so Hotch sent to the team hotel to rest. Everyone was there for days without sleep.

In the hotel lobby, everyone was talking about something to eat in the hotel restaurant. Hotch went to his bedroom. Emily went up to her bedroom, but she saw all the team going to the restaurant and decided to go with them:

"I'm going with you guys..." She said.

"Oh .. I completely lost the hunger" .. Garcia said, and vanished away.

All they were surprised by her reaction; but it was clear now. There was a problem between them.

Nobody wanted to comment her reaction. But Morgan and Emily knew the reason.

They ate quickly, talked a bit and went to their room.

Emily was in her room, lying down, trying to sleep. She thought, 'even in my best dreams, Hotch would appear here now' ...

But there was a knock at the door. At the exactly moment she was thinking. Her heart raced. She stood up, wearing only a big Tshirt and panties. She was sure it was him. She ran to open the door. Before opening, she stopped and said to herself: 'calm Emily' ...

And she opened the door to ... Morgan.

"Hi" ... She said, no way she could hide the disappointment.

"I see that things went ..." He said, he was surprised.

"What? ..."

"It was obvious that you were expecting someone else Emily ..."

She opened the door for him to come... defeat face.

The first thing that he noticed was her clothes, completely bare legs, and an old shirt. 'My God, as if I could wish her more'.

He looked at her with barely concealed his desire.

"Morgan, stop look at me, you've seen me in panties and bra before, then there is nothing new for you here"...

"It's been a long time we do not talk, and I can not sleep, too much coffee" ...

"I know" ... She said; she was also under the same effect. She was sitting on the bed, legs crossed and Morgan was on an armchair.

"So how are things with Hotch?"

"Morgan, please ..."

She did not want to hurt him.

"Come on, Emily, we're friends, you can open up to me" ..

"Why hurt yourself like this?"

"Oh. So you two really..."

He stopped talking and she lowered her head.

His heart broke but he was able to speak:

"I'm glad for you Emily" ...

"Well, I don't know if I'm ..."

He opened his mouth to say something, and Emily cut:

"But I will not say anything about it" ...

She was a closed book.

At that time, another knock. What a situation! And this time she prayed it not to be Hotch. She was afraid to open. But Morgan encouraged her:

"We are studying the case, right?"

"Right."

And then she opened the door to ... Garcia!

"Hi Pen, come on in". Emily said.

Garcia shot and was going to speak: "Emily, I think I should apologize to you ..."

She was shocked to see Morgan. She stopped speaking, at the time:

"Oh," a dry tone. almost without sound.

"Hi baby girl" ... We are passing on the case.

"Okay, and I'm Britney Spears" ...

Emily looked at Morgan and Morgan looked at Emily, both took a deep breath.

Let's talk like adults. The thought was the same.

"Ok, I think I should go, I have nothing to do with your life ..."

Emily didn't let her leave:

"Pen, look, there's nothing between us, just friendship" ..

Emily was searching for words, she did not want to hurt Morgan.

"I love Morgan the way I love you ..." She said gently.

"But he loves you differently" ... Garcia said.

At that time Morgan stopped:

"Look, Pen, I can handle it ok? Let Emily sleep. I'll take you to your room ..."

And so they left Emily's bedroom.

She was almost asleep when a beep on the phone, a message:

{I wish I would be there with you.}

Hotch. Her smile opened from ear to ear. She finally got to sleep.

Next day, they managed to close the case and arrest the unsub.

Back at BAU, it was a Friday, 10 pm, Jack was with Jessica, and Hotch was in his office. Emily was going to leave, when she received a message in her cell:

{I am going to your place to talk ok?}

{Ok}

She arrived at her house, showered, put the sexiest black bra and panties, and a robe, cream all over her body. She wanted him. She didn't want to know about Beth and what she was doing there. She just wanted him and final point.

She was in her bedroom talking to Serge:

"Serge, Hotch is coming here today, so, be nice to him, ok" ...

"Ok, since he does not be talking in my head ..." The cat thought.

"He'll be your daddy, buddy" ... "finally I got a daddy to you" ...

"I don't need a father, thank you!" The cat was bad tempered.

"And.. Guess what? He has a son, a child to play with you ..."

And she was all happy ...

At that time, the cat wanted to die:

"A child? Who said I want a child to play with me?"

"His name is Jack ... He is adorable, you'll love him..."

"Oh this crazy woman, is too much having to support her, now she appears with every figure here, and now a child ..."

"Soon you will meet him ok ... I promise ..."

"Oh please don't ..."

The cat was getting desperate. He jumped up and disappeared around the house.

"Serg, I'm talking to you, don't fade away while I speak to you" ...

Serge had time to think before vanish:

"I'm starting to feel sorry for these two people."

Not long after the bell rang.

Hotch was standing there at the door thinking that after several days hunting a murderer, after spending several days away from home, without sleep, and away from his son, he still had to resolve problems with Emily. He wasn't happy with it, but he really wanted to make things right with her. Before she opened the door, he prayed quietly that the conversation was not strained and that she understood his reasons, and finally solve things, he prayed that she was not hurt, nor crying.

She looked in the peephole only to confirm it was him. And then she took off her robe. She was wearing only underwear, a very small and sexy panties and a bra very sexy too. She opened the door and stood behind her. He came quickly and was walking to the living room. Typical. When he finally turned to look at her, he jumped, he did not have a habit of opening his mouth, but this time his mouth was on foot, and heart in mouth, without mentioning his other body parts that in that moment manifested.

He stood there, his mouth a little open, was a super invitation to Emily.

She straddled him, embracing his waist with her legs, he grabbed her by her ass. And they fell into a passionate kiss.

Words for what?

Mentally he thanked; God definitely had heard his prayers.

They made love during all night. There on the couch, then in bed.

After a long time, they were embraced in bed, recovering theirs breath from the last orgasm, Hotch started passing the fingers lightly on the clover scar. He already had seen it, of course, but at the first time he saw, he didn't want comment on anything; he wanted to make clear for her that it made no difference to him. But today he wanted to ask:

"Does it hurt?"

"Just inside" ... She said almost whispering.

He knew she was referring to the humiliation of being branded as property. She had been through a lot. But let's broaden this subject.

"Emily, we have to talk..."

"I know..."

**Well folks, this conversation will be in the next chap. It is clear that Hotch and Emily love each other. No doubt about it, but much will happen yet. Is this love will endure? Stay tuned! and pleeeeeeeeeeease comment. It helps me a lot ! Love you all...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi people, how are you? This story will come a time of choices for our loved characters. In real life, we know that things are not easy. I know this is a fan fiction, but let's leave everything very close to reality. Emily and Hotch are in love, this is obvious. But they are far from people who give up everything to live a love. They are extremely focused on work and not get carried away by emotion or feelings.  
There was no passage of time since the last chapter. So the story continues where it stopped ok. They are on Emily's bed after making love.  
Thanks very very much for the comments.  
I OWN NOTHING!  
**  
"Emily, we have to talk..."

"I know..."

"You want to start telling me what Easter wanted with you..."

Emily sat on the bed facing Hotch, who also sat leaning against the bed headboard. They had to look into their eyes to have that conversation. She took a deep breath before answering.

"He is looking for someone to run a London office..."

"Oh…that's a big deal"...

"Yeah..."...

"Are you considering it?"

"I don't know... I haven't even thought about it yet."

"Emily, are you really thinking of consider it?"

"What other choice do we have?"

"What do you mean?"

"Aaron, I don't want to be hiding forever; I don't think we have age or time to spend dating hidden" ...

"And you think that the solution to that is to move to another continent?"

"What are the other options Aaron?"

He thought for a moment and replied:

"Emily, there are certain moments in life that we have to make choices, prioritize things..."

"I don't follow" ...

"Choosing between the priorities of life" ...

"Aaron, I can not imagine you without BAU and BAU without you... So I'm going to have to leave..."

"Leave to live in another country, another continent?"

"Well, I haven't given an answer yet ..."

"Are you considering it because of the job post or this has something to do with Easter…. personal things?"

"What do you mean? …. Personal things?" Emily asked, but she knew what lay ahead.

"You and Easter, you may not want to tell me, and I respect that, but I know you two were more than colleagues".

There was no way for her to deny it, and she also did not want to lie to him, but it was a delicate situation for her. And pity of her lower lip, which was bitten almost to bleed now...

"Yes, we were more than colleagues… I will not deny it, I will not lie to you, but I can't say that I loved him, he was just the right guy at the right time; but it was not love, I liked being with him, I could even fall in love with him, but he killed that possibility giving me on a tray for Doyle; we even tried something after that but I couldn't, I could not live with him more... I had reached a point where I could not even look into his face anymore"…

"I can see that this point is gone..." Hotch said staring at her.

"It is gone, and that means I have nothing pending with him, nothing remained unresolved between me and him. Today he means nothing to me"…

Hotch didn't want her to go, but he also didn't want to interfere in her decision.  
He really wanted to ask her to stay and marry him; help him raise Jack and maybe have a child with her. But he kept his wishes for him.  
Emily wanted so much that he asked her to stay, she wanted to help raise Jack; she was ready to be a mother, somehow, she was being a mother to Serge. Since Declan's time, she was ready to be a mother, but in Ian's conditions, no way, she couldn't. Just like Hotch, she also kept her wishes for herself.

And so neither of them spoke what they really wanted, and it was exactly the same thing. It was the consequence of the choice of being a closed book. Both were like that; because life has taught them like that.

"When you have to give an answer?"

"Soon" ...

"Aaron, my whole life, the only love I lived, the only man to whom I gave myself, who loved me back, was Ian Doyle, sadly. So I always applied myself to work, because my love life sucks. I don't know how to deal with happiness in love, I have no experience with it ... And I don't know if I can live without working... "

"You don't have to live without working; I'm pretty sure you can get any good work right here in DC" ...

"I remember once we were working on a case, The Angel Maker, and I went with Rossi to interview a suspect and she said to me _'you've never been in love, have you_?' It was only about five minutes we were there interviewing her, and she could realized it; that means it was stamped on my face and…. it scared me, it made me feel very sad...and I started to think about it and, sadly, I realized she was right…"

"I thought you loved me"...

"I do! Very much! And at that time, I already was in love with you. But I couldn't even feed this thought, this feeling. And also it's very different from **being** in love with someone and to **live** this love in reality…besides, things between us are very recent."

Hotch took both her hands, looking into her eyes and said:

"But I want you to know that I really love you, and I'll be right here for any decision you make"...

She leaned over to kiss him, and without taking her mouth from his, she said, 'I love you too!'...

"Let's keep it that way, until you make your decision, and then we'll see what we do ok"

"Okay."

And they slept embraced.

_

The next morning Emily woke up, made coffee for them, fed the cat, she thought how she'd love to have a family life, she had almost given up on being a mother. Her period was already failing, it was normal to be, for several months, without her period. And the doctor said that was normal to fail because of her age. But she would love to help raise Jack as her own son. And she had Sergio too. She was happy with that.

They were in the kitchen having breakfast and talking:

"Aaron, what Beth was doing at your place that night?"

"She has no one around, she misses her mother so she looks for me ..."

"Oh .."

"But I talked to her, and I think she will not look for me anymore" ..."But Emily, I want you to be sure about my love for you" ...

She didn't know exactly what was security, especially in love issues, but she would try. She smiled and, at that moment, she could not feel happier.

"Emily, I really wanted to spend the entire weekend with you, but I need to go home, need to be with Jack, go out with him, help with school stuff, in short, doing father things...

"I think I can understand that". She said jokingly.

And then Hotch went away to spend the weekend with his son and Emily stayed home, doing housework, resting, thinking, thinking too much about Clyde's proposal. She didn't want to get away from Hotch, no way, but she was still unsure of their relationship. She wanted to stay in BAU, but she knew it would be impossible.

That weekend, they made some calls and some romantic message.

It was Sunday night, Emily was on the couch, watching old stuff on TV, Sergio was there with her; close to her.

"Serg, you want to come here on my lap?"

The cat looked at her.

"Come on, Serg, come here ..."

And she stretched out her arms to him.

And he went and snuggled in her lap, she was sitting cross-legged. The cat was there, on

her lap, and Emily caressing his head.

The cat thinking: 'I'm here, but keeps your mouth shut'...

"Serg, what am I gonna do?"

"Oh no" ... The cat was nervous when Emily could not read his thoughts.

"I don't wanna stay away from Hotch, but it is a great opportunity, and I know I'll have to leave BAU"... "I don't know what to do Serg, all I know is that I love him and I wanna be with him…" "Serg, why that something good happens, it comes with something bad? It is not fair, I don't want to get away from all my friends, they are family to me ... do not want to go to Clyde, what am I gonna do?"

She began to drop a few tears at the Sergio's head. The cat was not even a little patient. He also was not given to sentimentality, but this time he felt he needed to help her, so he got up and started licking her face, as if he wanted to remove the tears.

Emily felt comforted by the cat:

"Oh, thank you buddy, I promise that if I go to London, you're going with me ok"...

That same Sunday night, Morgan was training at home, lifting weights, when the doorbell rang. He peered through the peephole and opened the door quickly:

"Hi baby girl ... come on in ..."

And she entered, her usual walking hurriedly, straight to the living room. He closed the door and went after her.

"Everything's okay Pen, what can I do for you?"

She looked at him and even took a breath to say:

"You can make love to me pretending that I'm Emily" ...

Morgan's eyes widened and his mouth went on foot...

**And folks, Emily goes or stays? What will be her decision? And what will Morgan do?  
Suggestions are always welcome. Thank you all. I love you.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for the comments. **

**I OWN NOTHING.**

It had been three months since Emily and Aaron were together. They were still able to keep everything hidden. Nobody of the team had suspected anything about them, except Morgan, who still kept his eyes very open on Emily.

Emily had not accepted the job offer from Clyde, she had decided to stay and look for another job in DC. Until find something that interested her, she decided to stay in BAU, and along with Hotch agreed to keep things hidden. They were always traveling with the team for new cases. Sometimes, in hotels, they met, slept together, but were able to do everything well hidden. They were discrete. They had to be.

The team was working on a case in San Francisco, couples were being kidnapped and tortured until death. They were in town about three days. The whole team was very focused and concentrated on arrest the unsub.

It was about two am and Emily and Morgan were at the station waiting for the rest of the team that was in the field. They were in a room, drinking coffee, reviewing the case, and talking. They were exhausted.

"I can not think anymore" ... Emily said.

"I know, me neither" ... Morgan agreed.

A few seconds of silence.

"Derek, something happened between you and Penelope? I realized that you and she are far away ..."

"Yeah" ... He said sadly.

"I think you were right, maybe she has feelings for me…"

"Maybe?" It's clear more than water…" "Just give her a chance, Derek ..."

"I can't Emily…" " I don't know if she'll forgive me"…

"What did you do to her?"

"About three months ago, she went at my place and things didn't go well ..."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"I need to talk to someone about it, I think I'll explode" ...

"You know you can count on me right ..."

"I know Emily. Thank you ... But I don't wanna talk now, not here" ..

"Just let me know when you want…"

"Ok. I will"

The conversation paused, it was almost two in the morning, the team wasn't there yet; Reid and JJ had been pretending to be a couple, while Rossi was going to be watching them to see if any suspects came near them. Hotch had gone with the officer talking to a prisoner who claimed to know who was attacking.

Morgan decided to continue the conversation with Emily.

"You know Emily, I think now I know how you feel about me ..."

"What do you mean?"

"When someone says that is in love with you, but you don't feel the same way about the person ..."

"You should give her a chance Derek, Penelope is the sweetest person on the planet, she loves you, she has a pure heart, I'm sure you'll easily fall in love with her ..."

"Emily, why is it so easy for you telling me to give her a chance, when, in fact, you  
yourself didn't give me a chance, didn't give us a chance ..."

When Morgan was just saying this last sentence {_didn't give us a chance_}, one foot entered the hall, a large foot. Aaron Hotcher. No need to say that he was not a man of listening behind the doors, but the last Morgan's sentence awakened in him an uncontrollable curiosity. He can not help himself. So he frowned and allowed himself to continue listening behind the door, in the hall.

"Derek, please, let's not going back at this point ..."

"Emily, you know how difficult it is for me, I try, but inside I'm suffering because I saw how much you wanted me, every time we kissed, I could feel your body reactions, I still can feel it; what has changed three months ago to now?"

"Derek, I already told you... It was just about sex..."

On time, Hotch vanished, he didn't want to hear nothing more. How come? His Emily and Morgan? He could not believe it! But he was too focused on the case to think about it now; Rossi, JJ and Reid had accomplished something. And all they went to the scene and arrested the unsub.

On the plane back to Quantico, everyone was really tired. Hotch was in the chair in the back of the plane. Emily was up to him to talk. In that case, they had almost no chance of being together. He was sitting, looking out the airplane window, it was dawning a Friday.

"Hi, everything ok?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Me too, a little tired ..."

"Me too" ...

"I was thinking about the weekend, we could take Jack to the zoo, and then ..."

"No Emily, thank you, but don't think it's time to involve Jack in our relationship" ...

Emily was surprised, and frowned:

"Ok"

Hotch was angry, but he didn't want to talk about it. Not there.

Friday, before going to the BAU, Emily went to the doctor, routine examination for BAU. The doctor measured blood pressure, took blood and urine, asked a few questions. It was a mandatory annual periodic review. Emily was dispensed by the doctor to continue her normal activities. Then, near the lunch hour, she went to BAU and surrendered to reports of the last case.

All of them were working on internal reports.

Around five o'clock pm, Emily's cell phone rang:

"Prentiss"

"Agent Emily Prentiss?"

"Yeah. Can I help you?"

"Good afternoon, Agent Prentiss, I'm Susie, I'm Doctor Sempton secretary, he wants to talk to you. I will transfer the call.

"Okay, thank you."

"Hi Emily, how are you?"

"The same way when I got out there in the morning ..." Emily joked. "Something wrong with my tests results?"

"Well Emily, you can repeat the exams if you want, but I am absolutely sure that the results will be the same; both blood and urine tests are positive for pregnancy. Congratulations, you're pregnant!"

Emily's heart accelerated, started pounding, pounding, as if she had run a marathon around the world in five minutes. She froze. And her mouth, of course, on foot.

"Agent Prentiss? …. Emily?"

She could not speak.

"Emily? Are you there?"

"I... I...I'm he...here. Doctor Sempton. Thank you..."

It was the last stock of words she had, her voice was gone, she could not speak, neither coordinate ideas.

Of course she was happy. But it was hard to digest it. It was a complete surprise, she never was waiting for that, she didn't think she could still have a baby. She had to tell Hotch.  
She took her bag, got out, went to the doctor office to get the results. She bought a beautiful gift box, white, with white laces, rolled up the results, and placed inside the box. When she returned to the BAU, was about seven-thirty, it was a Friday, Hotch was the only one still there, he was in his office, on the table, he was writing something with a pencil, Emily saw it by blinds. She knocked on the door.

"Come on in".

Emily came in; she was very happy, smiling from ear to ear, Hotch just moved his eyes to look at her.

"I have a gift for you!"... And she put the box on top of his desk right in front of him.

He looked at her, looked at the box. He was angry and confused; he still hoped that Emily would tell him something about Morgan. He wasn't sure about what had happened, but he knew something had happened between them. But he expected that she would tell him. He felt betrayed. He didn't smile, just stopped writing, took the box and opened it. He took the exams and read.

She stood there looking at him, waiting to read his reactions on his face, the reactions didn't come and she closed her smile, she worried.

He finished reading the paper and looked at her:

"Are you sure it's mine?"

It entered like an arrow through Emily's heart, stealing all the air. She almost fell down the legs. She could not breathe. She frowned. And the mouth, of course, very open. It hurt, it hurt the soul.

She quickly grabbed the box and papers and disappeared from there.

Arriving at her place, she made a phone call:

"Clyde, you still have the job?

**Ohhh, Poor Emily. Does she travel? Let me know what do you think, ok? I'll be back on the subject Morgan / Garcia too.**

**As I said before, my language is Portuguese, but I'm trying so hard to improve my English, so I wanted your opinion, ok ... Is it too bad? What are the biggest mistakes? I thank and appreciate your help. Love you all!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for the comments. I OWN NOTHING!**

Hotch had realized the mistake he just made, he broke the pencil with anger, and threw it away. He flew back to Emily's, but she had disappeared from BAU. Then he got into his car and flew to her place. He arrived there less than ten minutes after her. He banged desperately on the door.

Emily had already talked to Clyde, she cried a lot, tears of rage; while she heard someone knocking desperately at her door, she was in the toilet, looking at her image reflected in the mirror. Eyes red, swollen, she looked deep into her eyes and said to herself, wiping tears: 'these were the last tears you down, remember you mother saying: PRENTISS'S DON'T CRY! EVER!' She left the toilet to open the door. He would not give up.

She opened the door and he entered.

"Emily, I'm sorry ..."….

She cut him:

"I'm sorry? You ruined what was probably the happiest moment of my life! And with this chutzpah comes here with a simple 'I'm sorry?'... I don't wanna hear anything Hotch, and taking advantage that you are no longer my boss, GO FUCK YOURSELF, and get out of my house!" She screamed.

Hotch didn't know what to do, the woman was out of control.

"Emily, I'm sorry ... I don't know what to say ... I heard the other day ..."

"I don't wanna hear anything Hotch; there's NO excuses for what you did; it's all clear to me now, let's pretend that nothing happened between us, forget that I exist, I'm leaving BAU, I'm moving to London..."

"WHAT?"

"I've already decided, I just talked with Clyde, this is what I want..."

"I will not let you move with my child to another continent"...

"YOUR CHILD?" She laughed sarcastically. "This is NOT your child; this is MY child, only mine!"

Then Hotch went around the world to go over all his pride, to demean himself, to recognize his errors, what for him was not easy; an extreme controlled man, almost no feelings:

"Emily ... please ... let's talk... I can explain…" He begged, almost crying.

She regained calm and continued, emphasizing each syllable she uttered.

"No…..it's over Hotch, there is no chance for me to forget what you just did, I spent six years of my life by your side, loving you in silence, choking the love inside me, dreaming with you, hoping that….maybe….one day…the super, hyper, mega, ultra controlled and cold Aaron Hotchner would even notice me as a woman; and….. just like a miracle… that day came; and….. as a miracle even greater…. God blessed us with a child, when I didn't even expect being a mother anymore; when I had already resigned to not being a mother because I knew that I had to pay for past mistakes, in which I punished myself a lifetime; and you do what?... I was in heaven when I entered in your office, Hotch, and you… you threw me, mercilessly, s-t-r-a-i-g-h-t t-o h-e-l-l. You don't even let me enjoy the happiness to be carrying a baby, because I kept that happiness to enjoy with you…I don't know what your excuses are to think that I fall in the bed with every men; but just for you to know, I have not been with any man since I put my feet at BAU; since I laid my eyes on you... Now, go away. "

And she opened the door for him to leave. She was really offended. That stirred with her feelings, doubts were raised. And he went, hoping to solve it later, when she was calmer. He knew she was right. But the in the row of emotional issues called "Men Will Never Understand Women", he was number one, the very first. It seemed that she was speaking in Greek.

He was praying to wake up at any time and all this has been a nightmare, excepted for the child. But he knew he would not wake up. It was real, anyway. Damn, he had doubts! He heard her say: 'it was just about sex...' To Morgan! He was not crazy, he knew the child was his, he knew she would not lie about it. But he wanted to find a way to let her know that he knew about Morgan; but among all ways on the planet, he chose the worst. And he would have to pay for this terrible choice. Consequences.

The whole weekend she did everything she needed; separated documents, some clothes, shoes, everything that she needed to carry and packed everything. She went to BAU on Saturday to get some belongings that were there. She left her badge and gun in her drawer; and left a letter on Hotch's table. She sold her car for half price. She covered the furniture with sheets, locked the apartment and left to the airport by cab, carrying bags, Sergio, and a lot of pain... She could not delay any longer; she had to go without thinking.

She was very emotional; then she cried when she saw Sergio being placed in a little cage specific for animals transportation. She told him:

"Just a few hours ok buddy. Hold on ..." She had promised not to cry anymore, but Sergio deserved.

She got on the plane and departed on Sunday night.

She arrived at London airport it was about three am, and Clyde was already there waiting for her. He was leaning against a pillar, watching her from afar, she was pushing her cart with bags and a box with Sergio, and it could hardly see her behind the cart. 'She brought the world' ... He thought happily. He decided to go help her:

"You're lucky I'm in town ..."

"Hello to you too Clyde"...

Needless to say she was in a bad mood. She left DC without thinking, but during nearly eight-hour flight was impossible not to think. Then she remembered every one, Reid, Morgan, JJ, Penelope, Rossi, they were her family. The only family she had known, how much she would miss them, how it was unfair to leave without saying goodbye, again and this time by choice. She thought a lot and she got afraid for be taking her own child away from its father, to a strange country, and a dangerous job. But there was no looking back. After all, that was a bit his choice too.

"You booked the hotel I asked?"

"No..."

"No?"

"You'll stay in my place"...

"No way!"... Anger growing.

He also wasn't much patient today; and he hadn't forgotten how to tame her. He was good at it:

"How many times have you spent in stubbornness queue, Em?"

"I'm not staying at your place!" She screamed, and who saw from afar, swore that they were a couple.

They argued as they walked to the car. Clyde pushing the cart with Emily's stuff and Emily holding the box with the cat and her bag.

And the cat thinking: 'Oh my god ... What is happening in my life? Why I cannot be a normal cat 24 hours a day? Where this crazy woman is taking me?'...

Clyde was throwing her things in the car trunk, and she talking a lot on his ear that she is not going to stay in his place.

He closed the car trunk and looked at her:

"Em, I never stay at home, I spend just a few days of the year at home. I'm always traveling. There you'll have the entire structure, a house with everything you'll need… do you remember Mary, Tom, Frank? They are still with me… (They were Clyde's employees)…You stay there today and then you think ok…is almost three thirty in the morning, please..."

"Ok, but I will not live there…" She didn't stop talking, she wanted to talk, she was uncontrolled.

"Okay, you stay until you find a place to live ..."

"And tomorrow, first of all, I have an important issue to deal with you ..."

Clyde lived in a small mansion, very elegant and rustic touches, lots of trees, the house had large windows in an upscale neighborhood of London; he has caretaker, chauffeur, gardener, housekeeper. It was not the same house where Emily used to go in the past, but the employees were the same.

They came and Clyde took her to a big guest bedroom. Both were tired and wanted to rest.

"You have wireless here?"

"Yeah ..." And he left the room leaving her there.

"Clyde..."

He looked at her.

"Thank you..."

He smiled (a little) and left. He was far from be the romantic and affectionate type and she knew it. He was the practical type.

She released the cat in the bedroom, he was scared:

'This crazy woman, stuck me in that box for hours and now brings me to this place that I don't know where it is, with this weird guy, I WANT MY HOUSE!'

The cat thought as he stared at her.

And she replied:

"Serg, we'll be alright, I promise ... you will gain a little brother or sister ..." And her eyes were watering. She hadn't stopped to think about the pregnancy yet; she wanted to leave that for later.

'Oh no, again this talk about children ... I DO NOT WANT IT !'

And the cat looked for a place in the bedroom where he could hide and sleep.

Emily picked up her notebook, she had to say goodbye to her friends. Then she sent an e-mail for each one. She knew the first thing they did when they arrived at BAU was checking emails.

My dearest friend, David Rossi,  
There are no words to describe how important you are in my life, how much I trust you, how much I'm going to miss you. Know that it was a great honor for me to have worked with you, my idol! You're the best. Humanity won a lot when you decided to return to the BAU. I would venture to say that you are the right hand of God here on earth. Don't forget, I'll be just some hours away, just a few minutes by phone, and neither second by thought, you live in my heart. I love you. Emily.

My sister in heart, JJ,  
I love you so much, you're my porcelain doll; you are sweetest person in the world. I learned a lot from you. I'm gonna miss you so much. I want to hear from you, Will and Henry's. You taught me that I still had a heart; you taught me that I still can have a family and I never forget what you told me that you could see me as a mother. I'll never forget this. This marked in my heart. I think it was a kind of prophecy. Love you very much and certainly we'll keep in touch. Emily.

My happiness in life, Pen,  
There are so many things I want to say to you, there are so many things left to be said. Know that I never wanted hurt you on purpose, unfortunately, life surprises us; sometimes we are simply thrown into situations without knowing how to act. You are the purest heart I've ever met. I hope you can continue like this. Don't let the pitfalls of life interfere in your feelings. Morgan loves you, on his own way. And he deserves your love. I know that. He is sad that you have changed with him. And you know we don't choose who we fall in love with. I am absolutely sure that if he could, he would choose you. I love you very much. I'm gonna miss you, I'm gonna miss your smile that cheered me up even in the darkest days. Emily.

My boy genius,  
This time I'm leaving because there are no more choices for me. But this time I'm leaving my address, phone number, email and everything else that you can use to contact me whenever you want or need. My little boy, I love so much. I've never been able to show how much love you, but I love you! I thank heaven for the time I could live with you. I will keep praying that your headaches stop forever. Take care of yourself. I love you. Emily.

All that remained was Morgan, but when she thought about him, the words would not come. She just wanted to hug him; and what before felt so right (moving to London) became suddenly so wrong. She felt ungrounded. How would life be without him by her side? One day before she was kidnapped by Doyle, Morgan said sweet words to her, among these words, he said _'no matter how awful, I promise, you're not alone'_ ... and somehow, those words came into her heart, and she decided to believe him. Since then, she trusts him with her life, and she knew she has someone in this world she can count, and that someone called Derek Morgan. She realized at that moment how much he really mattered to her. Morgan was her ground. And now she was alone. Then she, even without words, began to write:

My love, Derek,  
I just want to say that this is not a goodbye. You're right here inside my heart. He was a wrong choice, and now I have to face the consequences by myself. Maybe if I just had tried, I would be happier with you, and my story would have a different end, but I know that our story is not over yet... But I also know that it's unfair to ask you wait for me ... I never felt so loved by someone as I felt by you… I hope you forgive me one day. And know that I LOVE YOU. Emily.

The next morning, she went downstairs into the living room; she could hear Clyde talking on the phone in an office next to the room. He was saying he could not travel today, maybe tomorrow….. Then he appeared in the room:

"Good morning, darling!"

"Morning ..."

"You sleep well?

She had not slept at all, but she replied:

"Yeah ..."

"I was waiting for you for breakfast."

She wasn't hungry, but she knew she needed to eat because of the baby.

Then Clyde took her to the balcony, where it had a breakfast table mounted especially for her with flowers and everything. That was the advantage of having employees available…

She managed to eat a little.

"Emily ... Then I'll take you to the Interpol office..."

She cut him:

"Clyde, I have something important to say ... before everything"...

"Ok, go ahead..."

"I'm pregnant"...

Clyde felt a sting in his heart, he could not identify it, but he also didn't want to identify it; that would mean problems, feelings ... he could not handle it. He stopped chewing what he was eating and looked at her.

"Oh Emily ... you should have told me ..."

"I'm telling now….This will be a problem?"

"Not for me ... I mean, the work is internal, more like Strauss, but it doesn't mean you will not take risks"

"Well, I was thinking of getting acquainted with the work until the baby is born ..."

"Yeah! This is great, at least I'll have someone competent and reliable to coordinate the internal work while I'm on the field. Since you had not accepted the work already started by various people over but no one responded with what we needed... I really appreciate you has accepted..."

"Thank you…. And… Clyde…. before we go to the INTERPOL office, I need to see a doctor, to know everything about the baby, I need exams, know the time of pregnancy, I don't know anything yet….. I….I… kind…. of ran away from… DC…"

"Emily, we have an excellent medical staff right there at Interpol".

"Ok"

"Is it just me or you do have accepted the job has to do with the escape from this child father..."

She sighed.

"I don't wanna talk about it, Clyde, sorry." She said between teeth.

Let's keep the book very closed.

"Ok"

"Somehow I knew that one day I'd have to take care of you ..." He said sarcastically ...

"You? Take care of me? When did you take care of me, Clyde?"

"Oh .. don't be so unfair darling ... many times…"

"Last time, while my team was looking for me, and chasing Doyle, as far as I know, you were running away with a bag full of money" ... She said with a large portion of venom in her voice.

"Well, I did help your team ... Aaron Hotcher convinced me….It hurt see desperation in his eyes ... he almost humbled asking for my help… to save you…"… He grinned proudly.

Well, from there, she wanted to change the subject.

BAU…

Hotch, as always, was the first to arrive at BAU.

He went to his office, put the folder on the table and saw Emily's letter.  
He opened the letter. It was nothing more than a resignation.

And he thought he had already had his quota of suffering for a lifetime.

He was there paralyzed, with paper in hand, when the wise David Rossi went into his office with a paper in his hand. It was time to clarify things between friends. It was the email from Emily. He shut the door behind him and:

"What does that mean?" (showing the email, which he had printed)

"What makes you think I know?"

"Come on, Aaron, please ... on me, just tell me, we're friends ... It's me, Rossi ..."

"She's pregnant ..."

He didn't know why he said this, it had nothing to do with the moment, but it was the thing that was most pounding in his head, so he just spat.

Rossi was a little surprised but not much...

"Okay… Congratulations to you both ... but this email left the impression that she moved to Mars. What happened? ..."

"We argued, she didn't want listen, I didn't know she wouldn't ever come here again... I just found out now"...

And he showed Emily's resignation letter to Rossi.

"And you'll stand there? Is that it? You will do nothing about it? Why was the discussion?"

"I had my reasons, Dave." THE COLD TOLD.

"And your reasons are sufficient to give up the woman you love carrying your child?"

The romantic, hot, graduate degree in women, David Rossi didn't conform about his friend attitude who, unlike him, the man was a refrigerator.

The two men were there, arguing, and Rossi doesn't know what to say to a complete lack of experience with women. Hotch definitely had no experience with women. Haley had been his only. His only love, since college, and he only knew that relationship and it was happy and stable. He didn't know what to do about a tough temper Emily Prentiss.

Then he told Rossi:

"When Haley left me, taking Jack, I accepted, I didn't go after her..."

"Well, maybe because you didn't love her anymore ..." Rossi said firmly.

So a very strong person opened the door, and went straight to Hotch:

"What did you do to her?" He spat. A very angry Derek Morgan, crumpling a paper in his hand that he threw on Hotch.

**Oh friends, it seems that this history is walking alone, but I need your opinions ok, for where this is going! Will Emily come back? I kind try the reality here, in CM she actually went to London ... But anything can happen, then comment pleaseeee!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I OWN NOTHING**  
**Thanks everybody that are commenting.**

BAU - Monday morning

"What did you do to her?"

Morgan had asked, breaking into Hotch's office.

"I don't have to explain my personal life to you. Get out of my office." Hotch said with blood in his eyes.

"Since it involves Emily, you do!"

JJ also invaded the room:

"Guys, sorry, but thirty children were abducted from a nursery, notes are being sent saying they will kill one child a day, three already have been killed ..."

David Rossi never, never thought he would thank for a new case.

This discussion would have to wait. That would be a difficult case. Very difficult.

Each one dressed theirs masks and went save the children.

_

London

Emily had been presented to everybody at her new job, and she had made her admission examinations. She was completely released for work. She was now in the waiting room of a gynecologist to perform the examinations related to the baby. She did all the tests, she was exactly 12 completed weeks of pregnancy, which meant she had become pregnant within the first few times with Hotch. In the next exam she could be sure if it was a boy or girl. 'Well Emily, now you no longer can to postpone it, there is, in fact, a baby growing inside you, it's time to look at it, and present yourself to your child.' She thought, as he left the office.

She and Clyde turned to Interpol and started working. In fact, she already knew how it worked. Clyde installed her in her room, which was very elegant, like her, he explained everything in detail, presented everyone there and did everything that needed to be done. He put her well-informed about existing cases, and left piles of reports for her have "fun."

"Well darling, I think I told you the main things for you to become aware of the situation ... We are now in a big operation to arrest a political criminal cell that acts for decades and has links with several countries and is maintained with public funds, I am traveling tomorrow for Madri."

"Will you keep calling me "darling" here?"

"Oh, sorry ... Agent Prentiss" He said ironically as he winked at her leaving her office.

At the end of the day, Clyde and Emily went home, she had agreed to stay at his house until the baby is born. She didn't want to be alone. She would need help. Besides, Clyde never stayed there.

At Clyde's home:

"Good evening, Miss Emily, it's great to see you again after so many years" ...

"Come on Mary, you can call me just Emily ..."

Clyde imposed a certain distance from the employees, but Emily was a sweet thing with them. Clyde went to his room, pack up and Emily went to her room, bathing, she was exhausted, more mentally than physically.

She still was in her bathrobe and towel on head when she yelled from the mezzanine:

"Mary, please, have you seen Sergio? He is not in the bedroom ..."

"Yes, but... it's been a while since I've seen him."

"Oh no! Please, Mary, help me find him, please, I can not lose him, he does not know the house, he is going to get lost..." Dhe said as she down the stairs.

Emily went into utter despair and, suddenly, the gardener, driver, caretaker, Mary and Emily were desperately looking for the cat and Clyde chatting on the phone. Emily was in tears, she could not stop crying ...

Clyde was very surprised:

"Wait a minute" ... (He said someone on the phone) Hey Em, what's going on? "

"SERGIO IS GONE" ... She screamed.

Clyde froze, he couldn't conformed himself she was acting like that just because of a cat, he went into his office and closed the door, he had no brain mass to understand something like that.

Emily's hormones screaming and she cried rivers.

After an hour the cat appeared in the living room:

"Oh baby, where were you? DON'T do that to mommy again, please, I can not live without you ... I love you so much buddy..."

The cat had gone for a walk by the huge garden, but decided to return when he found Clyde hungry dogs kennel.

And she stayed there another half hour declaring herself to the cat ... then they went to the bedroom for her to change.

Emily placed a comfortable clothing, she needed a plan to keep Sergio indoors, later.  
She sat on bed and placed her right hand on her stomach, and began:

"H...Hi, I'm Emily, your mother (she let out a nervous laugh), that word "mother" still sounds weird to me, and being a mom sounds even weird, but I promise I'll try to do my best to be a good mother to you; I know that God has entrusted you to me, it is a big responsibility, but I know you'll be the most beloved , smart, educated and healthy child in the whole world. I'm sorry we have not spoken before but I didn't have how and many things had happened, and it has to do with your father; but baby I think it will be just you and me, but we will do well, ok I promisse... Know that I love you very, very much"...  
Well, now she was crying rivers again. It seemed that the promise she had made about not cry anymore had been forgotten in DC. She was even thinking about calling her mother and ask her mother to teach her again, as not to cry, ever; she had learned it in the past but she had completely forgotten. She needed a crash course with Elizabeth Prentiss.

Suddenly a knock at the door interrupted the conversation.

"Come on in". She said.

Clyde joined:

"You give me the pleasure of dining with me?...Oh Em, are you crying?"

In a rare moment of tenderness, Clyde sat beside her and hugged her.

Suddenly he looked into her eyes and:

"Emily, are you sure you want this job?"

"I am. I need it. This will pass, I will correspond your expectations" ...

"I have no doubt about it, I'm just worried about you ..."

"I'll be okay, today is only the first day ..."

"Ok .. so let's feed this child." ...

_

BAU

It was the third day that they were working on the case. The children who were abducted from the nursery were between six months and six years old. Hotch was at the station with the team, passing the profile, when a man entered the police station and asked to speak to him, the man was desperate and crying a lot.

"You have to save my child!"

"We are doing everything possible ..."

"I just know my son by photos, I wasn't there during the pregnancy, I wasn't there when he was born, and now he is almost one and I don't know him yet, I can do nothing about these things, I can not go back, but I need a chance to make it right going forward; you have to give me back this chance..."

'Oops, this hood fit me perfectly!'. Hotch thought.

"We just disclose the profile; we are close to get him."

The team was in town for a few days now. It was Thursday, they managed to arrest the suspect and recovered the remaining little children.

llllllllllllllll

The team traveled back to Quantico. The mood among the team was strange. Everyone knew that something was happening. Each one were in a different stage of knowledge. All were saddened by the departure of Emily. Working on the case, they were quite capable of going through any personal feud, the work was of enormous responsibility, it was an oath for a life; they knew the importance of this. That case has served to decentralize the team from their own problems and try to see things from others perspectives.

Arriving at the BAU, around five o'clock, no one wanted to talk, they were sad because of Emily and because the case; that case had been very very sad; six children were killed. That fact made their own problems become much much smaller.

Morgan was walking down the hall (he was going to talk to Garcia) and heard Hotch:

"My office, please..." ...

This could not wait till later. It had to be solved now.

Rossi observed the men entering Hotch's office, and thought:

'I think they will not kill each other, in case, I'm staying here.'

_

London - Thursday - 10PM

Emily was already completely comfortable with the new staff, and the Interpol cases. She had been engaged to work exhaustively those first days. Clyde had called her every day to know how she and the baby was doing and to talk about the cases. She was also completely comfortable at his place. Thursday night, she was at home, she still had not read the e-mails from Penelope, JJ, Rossi. She wouldn't want cry, not now that she was beginning to feel better. Reid and Morgan had not responded. She knew Reid didn't like computer and Morgan, well, she got an idea how he would be angry. She was there in the bedroom thinking; Sergio was sleeping, he looked like a small ball on the little mattress that Emily had purchased for him.

She had something she needed to do, she picked up the phone, dialed:

"Mother? ..."

"Hi Emily, just a second, I'll call off the other call" ...

"Okay."

Emily listened when her mother was saying goodbye to someone she was talking on another call.

"Ok Emily, now we can talk .."

"Mom, if you're busy, I can call another time."

"No Emily, we can talk now. How are you?"

"Fine, and you? Dad?

"We're fine"...

Second of silence...

They looked like two strangers; Very far from the mother-daughter relationship.

"Mother…I have some news…I'd like to talk in person but I'm too far at the moment... "

"Far?….. Some case?"

"No, actually, I... I...moved"...

"What do you mean, you moved?"

"I moved from Quantico…I moved to London"...

Emily inherited many things from her mother including the 'open mouth' habit. Elizabeth's mouth opened a little now; but not too much. She herself had moved a lot to countries for a lifetime, so she could not get surprising by that fact.

"Well, this is a big change, Emily..."

"Yeah, really..."

"And why is that? Any particular reason?"

"I actually got a very good job offer in London, at Interpol ..."

"What? Interpol? Are you working for Interpol again? Are you crazy? After all they made you go through?"

'Oh no, all I don't need now is critics'. Emily thought.

"Mom, I'm calling you just to let you know and not to ask for opinions, my decision is made . And I'm not working in the field anymore, I'm running the London office."

"Well, it's still hard for me to congratulate you for that."

""It's hard for you to congratulate me for anything, ins't mother? Anyway, I'm not done yet, there's one more thing I want to tell you, you and Dad ..."

As much as Emily not wanted, she needed her mother approval; and Elizabeth never approved her on anything, so she started doing things to insult her during the whole time they lived together. And that's where their relationship started to be compromised and increasingly distant.

"You can tell Emily, I'm listening" ...

"I'm pregnant ..."

Elizabeth's mouth, now, opened.

"You'll be a grandma, mother"...

The woman was dumb.

"Mother?"

"Mom?

"I…I'm here ... Oh Emily ... congratulations!"

Emily sighed with relief.

"I suppose I can not ask who the father is, or if you two are together or not, but I'm very happy for you Emily".

"Thanks, Mom, I'm still getting used to the idea; tell dad, and when I could, I will visit you two."

"Emily, give me your address, send me by email, ok?"

"Okay, Mom" ...

"If you need anything, you can look for me"...

"Thanks, Mom"...

"And Emily, take care…"

"I will"...

Well, the call was easier than she thought. But she knew her mother was still in shock.

Of course, Elizabeth Prentiss never imagined her only child being a single mother, even at age 40; she wanted her daughter to marry, she imagined a big party, full of pomp and gala, with the high society world. But at this point, it was clear that would not happen. And she was well formed, there were many other bad that Emily had done in her youth that his mother did not approve; witch means that at this point, a baby would still be very welcome.

"Hi baby, I just talk to your Grandma, she is a little tough, but it's just know how to lead, and I'll be here to protect you okay baby, always! Next week I'll do exams to find out if you're little girl or boy, you wanna tell me it now baby?"

Sergio looked at her talking to the baby.

"Ohhhhh Serg, do not be jealous. I love you ..."

He closed his eyes and slept. 'You can keep talking to the baby.' he thought.

The cat was beginning to like the idea to have little brother or sister; at least she would have someone else to talk and leave him alone.

Emily was feeling a little more confident so she decided to read the emails from her friends.

**Well folks, next chapter will have the conversation between Morgan and Hotcher, a bit of Garcia and Morgan; tests to see if Emily is going to have a boy or girl. What do you think? And Emily will also receive an unexpected visit. Who will?**


	15. Chapter 15

**I OWN NOTHING**

BAU

Morgan and Hotch entered into Hotch's office. Hotch sat down and said a cold 'have to sit' to Morgan.

The two men sat, well, let's act civilized.

"Morgan, our personal lives should remain outside of the work environment. We should not bring personal problems here for the BAU, where we already have plenty to worry about."

"I apologize for the way I walked into your office that day, Hotch, you're my boss and I know there is a hierarchy that should be respected, but I know that Emily's gone because of you ..."

"It was her decision, it's her personal life..."

"So you just let her go? Do nothing? I mean, professionally, she is one of best agent... Where did she go, why she is gone?"

"You should ask her..."

"I will, Hotch, I will!"

"Morgan, I just need to know if I can continue counting on you 100% focused on the job"...

"You shouldn't even ask me this Hotch; but I'll answer anyway: work, unlike you, do not come first for me, but come together with other sectors of my life; because are my human relationships that make me a better person; so I feel more and more desire to make the world a better place to live. You should think about it."

"Okay, you can go now."

Thus, Morgan left his boss' oficce. Hotch stood there thinking of Morgan's words, but it would not hit him, in any way. It had to be that way. He had an important position, he had sworn. His dedication to work had to be larger than all others. The team was his responsibility. It was his life choice. He already gave up once a family for it. He knew the price. And it was his choice to continue that dedication to saving humanity. And of course he would never talk about her personal life to a subordinate; he even liked Morgan, regarded as a friend, but it was his post that spoke louder this time, he had to keep things apart.

Morgan came out and went straight to talk to Garcia. He opened the door of her room, she was turning off the computers to go.

"Alright, Penelope, we will not leave this room until we talk and settle things between us ..."

"Morgan, please ..."

"Please ... nothing! I can not stand it anymore ... one day you went to my place, you surprised me with that ridiculous proposal..."

"And you put me to run, and said you would never do that ..."

"Of course, and I repeat: I would never do that to you! You are very precious to me, I can not just use you... even more pretending you are another person! Pen, know that if one day I lay a finger on you, romantically, that day I wanna be completely in love with you! But these things are not choices ... I would never take advantage of you ... "

"I know Derek, sorry for going there like that ... and I respect your feelings for Emily, and I know that you are also suffering from unrequited love..."

"I can handle it... but... I can not deal with the lack of your smile, your affection, your jokes...this is killing me... please... come back as you were before" ...

And they embraced. It was the world's strongest hug.

"Dinner with me today?"

"Sure" ... She accepted happily.

_

London

Hi Emmy ...  
What a sad surprise you prepared us! We are all devastated. How so? What happened? I hope someday you can come back! Where are you anyway? I'm here with the Reid and we were hoping that whatever your reasons, you're happy. We love you too!  
JJ and Reid

Emily, again? you out of our lives? dammit! I can not believe it! Please come back, we can fix everything that happened. I just can not be without you. dammit! I'll miss you so much. But wherever you are, and what you're doing, you can count on me, you'll never be alone because I'm here .. Love you!  
Pen

Dearest Emily,  
What can I say? Life takes us to paths unknown for reasons we're not sure. I hope that in the midst of it all, there is the right time where the reins are taken, because life is half chance and half choice. I'm always here for you.  
PS: congratulations!  
Dave

Rossi was the only one on the team who knew about the pregnancy.

A week later, in a gynecologist's office:

"Miss Emily, let's find out if it's a little girl or a little boy. But first I need you to answer me a few questions, ok?"

"Sure" ...

Emily was emotionally better, but today, the day she would find out the sex of the baby, she missed Hotch. He was supposed to be there with her.

"How was your period before pregnancy?"

"Well, it was not regular, it was common for me to stay up to three months without menstruating"...

"And you did not feel anything different? Nausea? Vomiting? Sleeping? Tiredness?

"As my diet is basically just coffee, so my stomach is always complaining, I thought that was it. Sleep and Tiredness are normal for me, because of my work, I always feel like that"...

"You know you'll have to change this diet now huh?"

Emily gave a humorless laugh.

"Yes" ...

"I'll pass a diet for you to follow. And you must go straight. From now on, you have to think not only about you but for that person who is within you. And from now on, until the next 18 years, you are responsible to make the right choices for this little person. "

The doctor spoke and his words were pounding in her head.

Emily swallowed, she could not resposder. That was real? It was really happening? 'Are really someone inside me?' She thought.

"Now you can lie there on that stretcher."

Emily lay on the stretcher and the doctor lifted a little the blouse she was wearing; spent gel on her belly and the image of something started to appear on a small screen in the ultrasound machine. That something was her child. She was thrilled.

"Are you listening, Emily? Baby's heart..."

Teary eyes, she could not speak. Suddenly, the doctor frowned and:

"Wait ..." He wanted to hear more. He was with the stethoscope on hir ear and on Emily's belly.

"What? Something wrong?" She began to panic.

"Doctor, please, something wrong with the baby?"

"Emily, it seem we have more than one baby here, let's confirm by the images" ...

Her mouth opened more than ever.

"Well Emily, I'm pretty sure you are going to have a little boy and a little girl... congratulations!"

She was in shock.

"A...A...Are you sure?"

"We will only be able to make sure it's a girl and a boy, probably on the next exam, about one more month, but I'm sure there are two babies coming... There are cases of twins in your family, or family's father?"...

"I...I...don't know... I mean... not that I know..."

"I'll pass a few precautions you should take from now on, okay?"

_

A little more than one month had passed since Emily knew she was going to have twins. And she already was sure she is going to have a boy and a girl. She was trying hard to go straight all the doctor had prescribed. She was also doing very well at work. She was always exchanging emails with JJ, Reid, Rossi and Penelope. But she was very sad because she never heard about Morgan, and she thought she had no right to bother him. Hotch had also not look for her. It was hurting her a lot too. But she knew he was a being busy. She knew he was cold and controlled. And she also knew that his scale of priorities was work, work, work, work, work, work (work thousand times), then Jack, leaving a very little for "other things".

Nobody other than Rossi, in BAU, knew about the pregnancy. Emily wanted so bad tell her friends, but she feared for Hotch, what could happen if Straus knew he impregnated a subordinate.

She was entering the fifth month of pregnancy, which was already showing signs evident in her body. A beautiful belly was already forming.

Clyde returned home after nearly two months off. He came home around 3 pm on a Saturday. Emily was resting in the rocking chair on the balcony. Sergio was lying beside her, and she was feeling fine.

"How nice to return to my wife and my baby ..."

"Keep dreaming ..." She mocked.

"Hello, darling ..." He planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I see that our big boy has grown!" He put his hand on her belly.

"Clyde ..." She said softly but in a reproach tone.

He sat on the chair across from her:

"What's wrong? I bet that baby will love me!"

She laughed:

"You're too pretentious" ...

"Oh Em, I bet he will love me, we'll enjoy rock concerts together, and we'll go watch Liverpol Sunday afternoon, and I will teach them to tame the beasts female as well as I do with you..."

Emily put her hands on her belly and:

"Please do not listen to this, babies..."

"BABIES?"

Emily let out a shy laugh:

"I have two babies in here ..."

Clyde made a face of surprise, of great surprise, very joyful, then he stood up and bent over to hug her:

"Oh Em... congratulations!"

Then he looked into her eyes and:

"I'm very happy for you!"

"Thank you!" ...

"You told the father?"

"No...Clyde, are you okay with this? With... I stay here... even if we... never... ever go back to being a couple again? I need to be sure about this ... Cause I'm really gonna need help ..."

"You already know me and you should already know that I do not do personal plans for the future, I just live, let go. And now you're here with me, you're a great company, I love to be by your side. But if it makes you calmer, I do not expect anything in return, I know I do not deserve, just as I know your heart is all committed to the father of these babies..."

_

BAU

The whole team was working hard in recent months, almost without a break, including weekends. Thus, Strauss gave them a gap of one week.

Morgan was at home, packing. He would make a trip.

Hotch was at home, packing. He would take a trip.

_

London

Emily was home, Clyde had gone traveling again, it was a 8 pm Monday.

She had finished dinner and was in Clyde's office, reviewing a hard case.

Mary entered the room:

"Emily, there's a man at the gate, he's looking for you ..."

Emily looked at Mary:

"A man? What's his name?"

**Guys, sorry stop here, I promise update soon. The next chapter is almost ready. This story will not have a fairytale ending, but an ending very close to what really could been happened to Emily and Aaron, that we know from the show. I urge you to read, really, try to remember the characters and how they are. But I'm also not saying that they will not be together. Just that anything can happen. But it will be real. And I already have made clear that they love each other. But does love always prevails?**


	16. Chapter 16

**I OWN NOTHING**

London

Emily was at home, Clyde had gone traveling again; it was 8 pm, Monday.

She had just eaten dinner and was at Clyde's office, reviewing a hard case.

Mary entered the room:

"Emily, excuse me, there's a man at the gate, he's looking for you..."

Emily looked at Mary:

"A man? What's his name?"

"Something like Aaron Hocher"...

Emily froze. Her heart gave a tour of the entire body and ended up in the mouth, almost sticking out. She opened her mouth, and swallowed.

"Hotchner?"

"Yeah, something like that..."

"You... can... bring... him... here... please..."

"Ok."

Emily stood up, walking around the huge room. She did not know if she bit fingernails, if she walked from one side to the other; she took a deep breath trying to calm her heart. 'Damn, he still unsettle me like that!' She thought. She stood with her backs to the door. She was wearing a red dress, very comfortable. She heard a 'thank you', Hotch's voice, he was thanking Mary for bringing him to the room. As soon as she heard his voice, she turned to face him. It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He had seen a woman pregnant with his son before: Jack, but with Haley was a different feeling. With Emily is fire, hot, boiling every drop of blood. That unsettle him a lot, she was capable to take the whole self-control out of him. And it was a great challenge for him. She was beautiful, super pregnant! He looked at her stomach and stared into her eyes. 'oh...those mesmerizing eyes on me, no please '... she thought. She felt like she was shrinking in size.

"Hi, Emily".

"Hi..."

"How are you? How's the baby?"

"We're fine ..."

Moments of silence.

"How's Jack?"

"He's great."

Moments of silence.

"Have a seat" ...

Hotch sat in an armchair and Emily sat on the couch next.

Emily felt the air grow inside her and she could not let it go. Breathing was getting difficult.

"Emily, I came here to see if now you can hear me and forgive me for what I said ..."

He was extremely practical.

Emily let out a short laugh:

"As I said before, there is NO excuses for what you said" ...

"At least, can I explain?"

"Go ahead ..."

"I heard you talking to Morgan, at the station ..."

Emily struggled to remember which conversation he was talking about. But she remained quiet. That time is not good delivering things that maybe he even did not know.

"I heard you say that what happened between you and him was just sex ..."

She gave him a fulminant look, hearing this.

"What did you want me to think?"

"You should have A-S-K-E-D me before concluding anything" ...

"I know, but do you have any idea how I felt? When that conversation made it clear that something was happening between you and him..."

"What I meant is that what I felt for him was just physical attraction, that's what I meant when I said it was all about sex..."

"But I heard him say that he felt the reactions of YOUR body! Again: what did you want me to think?"...

Emily closed her eyes for a moment, bit her lip, took a deep breath and thought: 'OK, I owe him a little explanation'

"Since I came back from...death..., Morgan and I have become very close, really; so I think he's just confused about feelings...he thinks he's in love with me...what happened between me and him was just KISS, and it was BEFORE you...and I tell you, from the bottom of my heart, Hotch, if I could just choose, I'd fall for him without thinking..." She was very arrogant this time.

That last statement hurt Hotch.

Moments of silence.

"Hotch, what did you think? You really thought I could push a child to you without having sure it was yours? How old do you think I am? Fifteen?"

"I always knew it was mine, from the first moment I read that exam, I just wanted you to know that I knew about Morgan..."

"Well, you chose the worst way, you really offended me."...

"I know. Can you….forgive me?"

"I forgive what you did to me, but it is difficult to forgive what you did to yourself and to this child..."

She said that, because in the current situation, he would not be next to her during the pregnancy, perhaps even the birth, much less see the child growing.

Hotch got up and sat on the same couch, beside her. He looked, for a few moments, into her eyes, and put his hand near her belly:

"Can I touch it?"

He referred to touch the baby, in the belly.

She looked at him severely, but relented:

"Yeah"

She remembered the doctor's words: 'think about the children'; 'make choices for them', and she did not want the children to be away from their father.

Then he put his hand on her belly, and began making circles slowly, and then started talking to the baby:

"Hi baby, it's me, your dad..."

Emily swallowed hard, lowering her head.

"I'm sorry for the first time we met; I said the wrong things, but know that I already love you, and you're very welcome in our family; you have a big brother, he is pretty happy you are coming..."

"You told Jack about the baby?" Emily asked in surprise, staring at Hotch.

"Of course, I could not just come up with a baby at home saying it was his brother, or sister..."

He took his eyes from her belly and looked at her:

"You already know if it's a boy or a girl?"

Emily looked at him and said very slowly:

"Yes... it's... a ...boy ... aaaannnnnndddddd ...a...girl... "

Hotch smiled as ever, and his eyes glowed, he was speechless ... Just look at her in amazement, his face lit up; after a few seconds:

"Can I give you a hug?"

'Damn. How many times have you entered into me… and now… asks me if can give a hug', Emily thought.

He was really the king of formality, but this is overkill.

"Sure ..."

And they hugged, still sat on the couch. During the hug, he stuck his fingers through her hair, and whispered in her ear:

"I miss you so much"...

It sent chills through all over Emily's body. Parts of her body began to throb.

Then she got up quickly and the air was getting heavy, her mouth is getting dry. That had to stop, and had to stop now. She stood, biting his lips, walking from one side to another. He, still sat, said:

"Emily, come back with me to Quantico."

She stopped and looked at him.

"I can't ..."

"We can start over" ...

"I can't just drop everything" ...

"Come on Emily, pregnant with twins, how much longer do you think will be able to work?"

"I intend to work until the last day of pregnancy" ...

"I want to be around when you need '...

"I thank Hotch, but I am being well attended here; Clyde let me stay here, at his place, with all employees on hand."

"What a dedication!" He spoke this with great irony.

"He's actually being very regardful, really!"

"He has to live a thousand lives serving you... just to pay for what he put you through... anyway, promise you will at least think?"

"That I think I can do" ...

Hotch was happy and relieved. At least he had clarified things. Of course he had not liked the fact of his Emily had changed saliva with Derek Morgan, but he could handle it.

"I'll be in town until the weekend. Can we go out to dinner sometime?"

"Sure. You are the father of my children; I think there is no problem if we go out..."

"And you are the mother of my children and...(long pause)... the love of my life… (much emphasis this time)... of course it wont be problem if we get together" ... He said that with that look well penetrating that only he can give.

'God, please don't give me that look, I'm able to break into a thousand pieces right here' ... Emily thought.

They talked some more about her work at Interpol and about BAU. They said goodbye and Hotch went to Hotel.

Hotch and Emily had spoken everyday on the phone in that week; they scheduled a dinner for Friday; at the hotel where he was staying. She went there. They met in the lobby of the Hotel, greetings with kisses on the cheek. Actually, they both wanted to be rolling in bed. But let's keep up appearances. So they went to the hotel restaurant.  
Hotch's thoughts: 'Let's not skip steps.'  
Emily's thoughts: 'God, help me not do anything stupid'.

The dinner was nice, he was happy to know that Emily was not feeding herself only with coffee, but with proteins and vitamins, good for babies. At the end of the dinner:

"You thought about my proposal?"

"What proposal?"

"Back to Quantico with me" ...

"Hotch, ..."

"Call me Aaron ... please ..."

"I can only say that today ... I don't feel like returning; I can't say about tomorrow, or next week ... or when the babies are born. As the expression says: 'We do plans and God laugh'... Cause we know that, actually, His plans for us always prevail"...

It fell like a bucket of cold water on the Hotch's head. But he could still see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"We both know that children in the womb, already have full knowledge of the outside world; I would not want them to develop in there knowing that their father is far away" ...

"You should have thought of that before ..."

"Don't you care about them?"

"Of course I care about them! I go to the doctor every two weeks, I eat properly, avoid the most risks at work ...I talk to them every day!"

"I would like to have this opportunity too ..."

"Again, you should have thought of that before ..."

"Emily, this is not about me or you, but… about them ..."

"Aaron, I'm not going back with you. I'm not saying I won't go back, I don't know, but today I will not."

Alright. The woman was irreducible. Neither point in thinking about calling her to his room; even because the cold water bucket had reached all parts of his body.

"I'm going back tomorrow to Quantico, I want you to let me know if you need anything, please, I want you to know, don't forget even for a minute, I'm here for you, (this time, he stretched his hand to take hers) and I love you very much.

"I'm going back tomorrow to Quantico, I want you to let me know if you need anything, please, I want you to know, do not forget even for a minute, I'm here for you, (this time, he stretched his hand to take hers) and I love you very much.

That softened her heart. 'My God, I could grab his neck right now, not ever drop; go with him.' But the lesson she had learned, never, never be guided by emotions always came first. Elizabeth Prentiss had done a good job in this sector.

"You can rest assured, Aaron; anything that we do need I'll call you."

He followed her to her car in the parking lot. He hugged her tightly, and took the opportunity to feel the smell of her skin. Yet embraced, he brushed his face only to face her. Their eyes met. She opened a little mouth to breathe. She was no longer able to breathe only through nose. He looked at her mouth, and tried to kiss her. Immediately she pulled back.  
"No..." short and not very convincing.

But it was enough to stop Hotch. He was happy with what he had achieved in London: her forgiveness, and perhaps her return. So let's not force things.

Hotch returned to Quantico; anyone but Rossi knew about pregnancy. They spoke almost daily by phone. She happily told everything that happened, when the baby had kicked, moved, told about swollen legs, backache, about the pounds more. It was the seventh month of pregnancy, but damn, there were two babies, and by the way were giants. She also always placed the phone back against the belly for Hotch talking to children. The cat, as always, thinking about she's crazy, but he was happy, she talked with him much less.

Emily and Clyde were in her room, at Interpol, talking about a strategy of a case, when a figure simply invaded the room. Emily looked and:

"Mother?"

**There wont be a pleasant conversation, Emily with her mother, but they need settle things between them. And this conversation will serve for this. Miss a minute of your day to comment, okay. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I forgot to say on the last chapter; Morgan trip was to Chicago, to visit his mother and sisters.**

**I OWN NOTHING**

"Mother?"

Elizabeth turned to Clyde and:

"Could you excuse us? I need to talk to my daughter ..."

"Mother! You can not just come into my office like that!"

"I'm sorry dear, but I can not waste my precious time in a 'waiting room'. Your secretary didn't let me in…. so…."

"That's ok, Em, we finish it later."

Clyde said, picking up the papers on Emily's table, and leaving. He definitely did not want to hear this conversation.

Elizabeth Prentiss was an unbearable figure for Clyde, he even bother to greet her. But he also was unbearable for her. So it's okay between them.

"What do you want, mother?"

"Hello to you too, Emily" ...

Emily said nothing; she used to use that term too.

"I can not visit my daughter, who is entering the eighth month of pregnancy?"

"Sure you can, just can not break into my office like this, we are working on a hard case ... (better not to comment) ... anyway ... Can't you go home at night, we dine and talk? I'm really busy right now ... "

"Okay Emily, give me the address and I'll be there at 8pm, ok?"

"Ok" ...

"You look very well and beautiful"...

"Thank you, mother."

She left the room, and Emily knew it would be a tough night. She had a feeling.

Clyde did not return to the room, so Emily went to his office, look for him. There, he was on the phone with his back to the door. Emily came but he did not notice she was there. The room was big. Still on his back, he said, looking through the window:

"Sure, honey, I've been wanting to see you, but I'm working hard, and I'm traveling again next week" ...

"I told you it was not an easy task, go out with a sneaky cat like me" ...

He laughed between the pauses, while listening to the person on the phone talking...And Emily planted there listening to everything.

"I promise that when things calm down at work, I'll look for you to retake those hot nights and make wild sex until dawn ..."

….

"Julie, I have to go now, I'm in the middle of a meeting" ...

"What? Your name is not Julie? Oh... sorry ..."

But the woman had already hung up. So he did not care, he turned around, only to come face to face with Emily Prentiss, snorting, standing planted, arms crossed, glaring him by eyes, raised an eyebrow at him like waiting for an explanation.

She looked nervous but, honestly, he did not understand why; but he was a charmer; an expert in the art of conquest, and he knew a lot about women, and a lesson he had learned was never, ever talk to a woman in front of another.

"What?"

"W…..What? Did you hear yourself?" She screamed, with a disgusted face.

"Em, I was talking to a ... well, I guess this is a private matter" ...

"Private matter ? You didn't even know the woman's name! What a shame! You are still the same son of a bitch ever; using women as if they had no feeling!"

"I have no guilt if not all women are striking as you..."

Her mouth opened a lot now, and frowned. She snorted. She went out stomped.

She went to her room, and he was behind:

"I hope all this anger was because of the conversation with your mother; because if not, I can swear you just had a crisis of jealousy..."

Emily lied:

"It is, was, sorry ... really sorry ... the conversation was very… tough"…

And then they resumed work. She didn't love him, but somehow she wanted him just for her. She knew this was pure selfishness, but she could not help herself.

Emily was feeling tired, emotionally shaken, the children seemed to play soccer every day inside her. She missed Hotch. She felt alone. She had pain accounts; leg pain; difficulty breathing. She was in her room getting ready to receive her mother.

"Serg, buddy, what am I gonna do with two screaming children here in this bedroom, alone?"

'Two screaming kids, that's really what I heard?' The cat thought.

'I think I'll live with the dogs, it must be less dangerous'. The cat thought.

Suddenly, a knock on the door:

"Come on in..."

"Hey Em, would you mind if I did not have dinner with you and your … mother?"

"I'd like you to stay, but I can not blame you."

"Is everything ok?"

"I'm afraid" ...

"Afraid of what?"

"Of not being a good mother; failing; of not knowing how to care of them alone, of they don't like me..."

He entered the room and sat beside her in bed:

"Oh…Em, of course you will be a good mother! You already are a good mother! And you will not be alone. I can plan to be here with you, at least for a while. Mary will help you with the babies, we can hire a nanny, a nurse, you'll be never alone; I promise ... Of course they will love you!..."

She looked down fighting tears. He hugged her and tears fell. He made circles with the palm of his hand on her back. She was calming down, she could smell him, she remembered that time that they were together; remembered fondly, wondering why he has to be so motherfucker, thinking it was not for the extreme control that her mother imposed on her, when she became a teenager, certainly the kind of man she would prefer were the boor. It was not for nothing that she fell in love with Ian Doyle; and Hotch was the will of do the right thing. But dammit, he was too right!

"I'll be at dinner with you, ok ... What I would not do for you ..."

"Thank you ..."

Emily, Clyde and Elizabeth were having dinner.

"So you both intend to get marry?"

Emily slammed her fork on the table (she was extremely nervous):

"Mother, Clyde has nothing to do with this; I'm just staying here. He's being a good friend, only."

"So my conclusions were right" ...

"What are you talking about?"

"Since he will not come for the family, I prefer to discuss privately with you" ...

The dinner had finished, then Clyde withdrew:

"Well, ladies, if you'll excuse me ..."

Before leaving, he leaned against Emily's chair and told something to her, but within earshot of her mother:

"If you need anything, ear protection, or bulletproof vest, call me!"

"Ok .." Emily smiled and bit her lips.

"Cheeky!" Elizabeth said angrily.

"Mother, let's talk in the office and get over with it, I need to rest" ...

At Clyde's office.

"Emily, I want to know what do you want to do? Where do you intend to go with this madness ? ….continue living here in London, working at Interpol... How far do you intend to go with that?"

"Mother, I'm sorry but I don't have to explain my life to you..."

"Emily, this is not about us, but about the babies ... I am thinking of the welfare of the babies ..."

Emily stood up and paced around the room from one side to the other:

"Why that sounds crazy to me? Why are you worried about my babies when, in fact, you never worried about me? Have you ever thought about me when I had to change schools whenever I made a new friend? Have you ever thought about me when I could not make friends... and because of that I was always the weird and strange of the class for the whole school? Do you have any idea how much it has made me a cold and closed person? I could never truly love anybody…. for fear of losing ... and how I had to close myself in my own world and build concrete walls around me to protect me… and how it made me the loneliest person in the world... Did you ever, just one time in your whole life, thought about me?"

"I messed up my whole life with you, Emily, I know I can not fix it. I know I have no right to be here saying these things. But I know you very well ... if you look at you one second , and think, answer me honestly, did you stop, just one minute, to think about what you were doing when you left Quantico to escape from the father of your children? Emily tell me, did you stop to think about your children?... So, I'm here to try to avoid you make the same mistakes I made...Yes, my whole life, I only thought of myself and my posts; but, what about you? You do not have to answer me, just think. Are you taking the right decisions for these children? You told me that this man out there is offering you all the comfort and everything you need ... Tell me: I did it for you my whole life; I covered you with gold, and was it enough for you?...You had everything Emily, the best toys, the best clothes, driver available, employees available, you studied at the best schools, learned several languages , but all that was not enough, even your father being at home, much more than I ; I know that my absence in your life caused irreparable damage. Therefore, think, reflect, and review what you are choosing for your children."

There was no way Emily disagrees with her mother. But she remained quiet. She sat on the couch, she was tired, heavy. Elizabeth sat down beside her and:

"Emily, I'm not going to apologize to you for my mistakes. I know I gave you the world but in what you needed most, which was a hug from mom, I failed. But know that I love you, always have."

Emily looked at her mother. She wanted to hug her, but the abyss between them was still huge. She could not. But she managed to speak:

"I love you too mother."

Emily was thirty-two full weeks of pregnancy. Clyde was traveling. She was in her bedroom getting ready for sleep when her cell phone rang.

"Hey ..."

"Hi, Emily, how are you three?"

"Oh, Aaron, I'm so tired, afraid..."

"Emily, everything will be all right, you will do just fine, I'm sure ..."

"I'm not so sure" ...

"Put the phone, I want to talk to them" ...

Emily pressed the phone on her belly:

"Hi, babies, it's me, daddy, I've said a million times, but I'll say it again, the fact that I'm away doesn't mean I don't care about you; it's just because of work; but I love you two so much; don't tired Mom too much ok; and I want to be there to see you two come, I promise I will do my best ... I think I see you in a few weeks "...

When he said 'I want to be there when you two come,' Emily had already placed the phone back on her ear.

"Aaron, you think you'll be here for the birth?"

"Emily, I have a heap of cases on my desk, but I really want ..."

"I appreciate it."

"I'm glad you want me to be there."

"Sure, Aaron, I did not make it here alone"... She said wryly.

"I'll see what I can advance here at BAU, and you tell me if there is forecast for the day, ok"

"Ok .. and you have to help me choose the names" ...

"Oh, sure ... have you thought of any?"

"I have a lot of names in my head" ...

"Me too, let's do so, you choose the boy and I choose the girl, ok?"

"Ok…But I'll have to agree…"

"Of coooooooooooourseeeeeeee you will"… He smiled.

"And we're gonna do that when we look at their faces..."

"Ok…we can do that…"

"Aaron, I have to sleep now… Give my love to Jack…Good night…"

"Good night, Emily. I love you."

Exactly two weeks later, two in the morning, Emily invades Clyde's bedroom shouting:

"**CLYDE**… I'm in pain…Clyde…get up this **fucking** bed!"

**Will she take time to tell Hotch? Will he arrive in time? Let's see.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I OWN NOTHING**

It was two o'clock in the morning in London when Emily broke into Clyde's bedroom (who was sleeping comfortably in his underwear and T-shirt) with early labor pains:

"**CLYDE**… I'm in pain…Clyde…get up this **fucking** bed!"

Clyde's first reaction was eye-opening to see if it was not a nightmare. But it was not. That was real.

The whole BAU team was working on a difficult case in New York; they were there for three days now. And there were several missing persons, same MO. It was 8 pm in New York, but they all were still at police station reviewing the profile.

Hotch's cell phone rang:

"Aaron ... (breathing hard)….. it's me ….. I'm in pain ... Clyde ...is ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh (she screamed too loud, he thought he could become deaf) taking me to... ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh ... the hospital...if you don't hurry... you're... gonna... miss ...the birth ...of ...your children... ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh "

Hotch panicked at the time.

"...send me the name of the hospital. I'm going."

She was breathing with difficulty.

She screamed like crazy in the car and Clyde was frozen, he drove like a maniac to get to the hospital immediately. He had dealt with the worst types of unsubs, terrorists, drug dealers, killers, but this was too much for him.

_

New York

"Dave? ..." Hotch was the despair personified. Panic face.

"Go, go ... I'll take care of everything"…

Everybody saw, but nobody understood anything.

And he was not sure if he would come on time, but he had to try. During a lifetime, work had come first, but he knew that his happiness wasn't at work at all, but in the sound of his babies crying come into the world. He allowed himself to think of him at least once in his lifetime. Hotch flew straight from New York to London. It'd be the longest seven hours of his life.

"Hospital?" Morgan asked, staring at Rossi.

"Something wrong?" JJ asked, staring at Rossi.

Rossi and his typical poker face:

"He said 'hospital', I just assumed..."

Nobody still understood anything, but they all went back to work.

_

London

Emily was being carried on a stretcher through the corridors of the hospital, while she screamed a lot, and grabbed the Clyde's Tshirt and pulled strong, she was almost choking him, pulling the Tshirt, he was almost falling:

"Em, Em, p….please ... my Tshirt ..."

"Fuck your Tshirt" ...

Actually, he was not worried about the Tshirt, but with the fact that he was almost felling on top of her, curling his feet on the stretcher wheels. But he chose to remain in silent, better not poke ounce.

He was walking beside the stretcher, she dropped the Tshirt and grabbed his arm, poor thing; she drew blood from his arm, digging her nails short but sharp in his skin. She needed to relieve pain, while shouting, of course.

He was scared about that. 'What a situation! Nor was I who did these children! 'He thought. Although Emily has made it clear just now, when she called him, that Hotch was the father of her children; deep down Clyde already knew it.

They arrived to a room for Emily checkups; check the dilatation etc. A nurse told Clyde:

"Are you the father? Only the father can be together now" ...

Before he could open his mouth:

**"HE IS!**" Emily screamed.

No way she be alone now. Besides, she had to have someone to discount all her pain.

They entered the examination room and began testing. The pains had given a break; Emily said:

"I want my doctor!"

"We already called him and he is on his way, it's two thirty in the morning. We'll do some testing, meanwhile, ok?"

"What are my other choices?" Sarcasm.

Clyde observed everything from afar. He didn't dare open his mouth. He already had his arm scratched and a Tshirt torn.

The nurse said:

"Well, Mother, you have just two centimeters of dilatation. Let's wait for the doctor to see if he'll do a caesarean, or wait for normal birth."

The pain had not returned, but she was panicking. She breathed deeply. The nurse left the room and Clyde went near her. He held her hand tight, and with the other hand wiped the sweat that formed on her face.

"Thanks for being here."

"You don't need to thank me, Em. (long pause) So...(a little pause)... Hotch?" He asked her.

She bit her lip:

"You never learn to control your bad timing, uh?"

"Sorry"...

_

Emily was in the infirmary, the pains came and went, she was doing well with enlarge of the dilatations, so the doctor had opted for normal birth.

Emily was running out of energy, she was there for a few hours already, the pains came and went. She cried and screamed a lot. But she was almost breathless already.

"Doctor, I don't know if I can take it anymore, how much longer will it take?"

"Emily, as I explained before, the normal it's to occurs just an centimeter of dilatation per hour, and it's necessary about ten centimeters of dilatation to make the birth, you have now five centimeters, you'll have twins; so we need to wait to it dilate more, but these things can vary; I'm watching you, any wrong thing, we make the cesarean, ok? The dilatation is progressing well. You think you can hold out a little longer?"

"I'm going to try my limit."

_

Hotch had managed to catch the flight to New York the night 8:50. Thanks to the BAU, he was always with his passport. The expected arrival at London Airport was 3:50. He estimated reach the hospital at 4:30 in the morning. He prayed that Emily was fine and that children wait for him to get there.

"Clyde, what time is it?"

"3:40. He should be landed any time"...

He knew that this was exactly what she wanted to know. Let's not, then, upset a woman who is already having her quota of suffering for many generations."

"Do you think he comes?"

"I think so."

Clyde suddenly was sad, damn, he had just discovered that he had feelings, a heart. He knew he had to be there for her. But he knew he was only a good friend for her, she had no feelings for him, and he blamed himself for it. It was really his fault. Just take it for himself. But he would not leave her, not now. No way.

Emily interspersed moments of shouting for several minutes, and then moments of silence, she was extremely exhausted, sweating profusely, and so it was passed over another hour (it was 4:40); but, during the last half hour, she was screaming nonstop; dilation was increasing dramatically and the contractions were violent. The doctor decided it was time to take her to the operating room.

Emily was on the stretcher, doctors and nurses around, and Clyde walking along, holding her hand strong. They were walking through the halls of the hospital on the way to the operating room. Emily screaming nonstop. Around the corner that led to the operating room a face appeared: Hotch. He flew near the stretcher; sent a death stare for Clyde (that didn't last even two seconds), who immediately dropped Emily's hand. Hotch then took her hand and went together into the delivery room.

Emily was in so much pain she could not even react to significant change of man who was stood beside her, not that Clyde meant nothing; but Hotch was Hotch; the father of her children, the man she was totally in love. The man who traveled an ocean to be with her at that moment.

The doctor and nurses didn't understand anything, there was no time for this.

After another twenty minutes of screaming and enormous effort, Emily gave birth to two children. Hotch wept with emotion watching the birth of his children. The man, cold, controlled, aloof, dour, closed, just broke into three hundred pieces right there. Giving way to a man cheerful, happy, excited, passionate, extremely happy to be increasing his family beside the woman who he was in love. Emily was exhausted, extremely tired, breathless, powerless, she couldn't even think. The doctor brought the babies for her to see, but she could not coordinate the ideas; she was seeing everything blurry, she could not focus. Blood pressure was too changed. Hotch was there, beside her, talking to her all the time that everything would be fine.

After a while, the doctors were able to stabilize her pressure and she finally had the time with her children. She was on the bed, holding the boy and Hotch, standing, holding the girl.

"Did you choose her name?" She asked, still tired.

"Yeah." Hotch said, tears in her eyes, staring at his daughter in his arms.

Then he looked at Emily to speak the name he had chosen:

"Paget"….

Emily smiled:

"I like that ... Paget Hotchner"

Emily looked to face her son, to choose his name, looked back at Hotch and:

"I chose Thomas ..."

Hotch smiled:

"Thomas Hotchner, I like that"...

He leaned over to plant a lingering kiss on her lips. He pulled back just a bit to say:

"I love you!"

She didn't say back, but he knew she loved him; then it's okay.

Emily had already left the operating room, she was already in the room, still in the hospital. The children were making final exams, and she would only be released the next day. It was ten o'clock in the morning in London and she has just had her breakfast. The babies were in cradles beside her. Hotch had called Rossi to tell about babies and to know about the case. He also called Jessica, talked to Jack and told him about the babies, Paget and Thomas.

Emily, hesitantly, asked him:

"Where's Clyde?"

"I have no idea. Wish he was in Japan…"

"Aaron, he is being so caring and patient with me, please give it a break."

"I don't like him. I don't like the fact you are ate his place…"  
"The man who came with you? He's in the hallway." A nurse who was doing exams in babies said.

"Could you call him here, please?

"Sure." And he went.

Hotch looked at Emily, frown:

"I'm going out for coffee." He said and went out, almost bumping Clyde coming.

Clyde came very close to her and planted a kiss on her forehead:

"Hi darling, how are you feeling?"

"Like if a bulldozer had run over me and taken all my internal organs" ...

Clyde went to the cradles for meet the babies:

"Hi big boy, so it's with you I'll spend soccer afternoons, and leave to catch little girls? And you, pretty girl, beautiful like mom, I'll just let you dating after eighteen huh" ...

Of course, Emily knew that would not happen. But she didn't want to ruin his dreams. Nobody knows about tomorrow uh.

"Clyde, I really want to thank you for what you have done for me, to be here with me, I promise buy you a new Tshirt."

"Em, again, you do not have to thank me, it's a pleasure. I'm going to work now, I'm not coming back here for obvious reasons, but I wait you three at home tomorrow. Anything you call me, ok?"

"Ok"...

As he left, Hotch walked back, went to his children, who were sleeping. He seemed to be in a dream; He was so happy. Looking at his children there so peacefully, he turned to Emily and:

"You're coming to DC with me right?"

**And, folks, what do you think? Emily must return with him to DC? OR should be working at Interpol. Let your opinions, they are very important for me to decide what will happen next. I love you all.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I OWN NOTHING**

"You're coming to DC with me right?"

"No"… Said the doctor who was just entering the room. "I'm sorry to intrude on a family matter, but the children can not travel for at least a month".

"Why not? Is there something wrong with them?" Emily asked nervously. In fact, she was actually more worried about the children than with the fact of traveling or not.

"No, Emily; is that they are still very small and fragile, is extremely suitable to wait at least a month, but if you want to risk ..."

Emily and Hotch remained silent.

"Well, Emily, we will do the lasts exams with you and the babies and probably tomorrow morning you can go home. Now in the afternoon, the nurses will help you with the first babies bath, it is advisable that the father participates too, since they are twins and two baths; and they will also teach how to breast-feeding." Said the doctor, smiling at them both.

The Doctor said everything he had to say and left the room.

"Emily, if you're going to have to wait a month to get back, so I want to rent a place for you to stay, hire a nanny, a nurse so they can help you; I really wanted to be able to stay here with you, but you know I can't... "

Emily interrupted him:

"I'm staying at Clyde's. There is no reason to rent another place; he has many employees at my disposal, I already bought the cradles; Clyde is always traveling. There is no reason for you to be so, so adamant."

No way that Hotch liked that; but no way also he wanted to discuss with her now. Then he took a deep breath, walked near her, sat on the bed beside her, Emily was sitting up against the headboard.

He went very close to her, he took her hands, looked deep into her eyes and:

"Do you still love me?"

"Come here…" Emily patted her right hand on the mattress, indicating he to sit a little closer her. Then she put her mouth on his right ear and said, almost whispering with the sexiest voice she had ever been able to do:

"I love every inch of your existence; beginning with the wonderful person you are inside, going through each part of your body; and finishing in that part that helped me make these two beautiful babies there, and that, by the way, I really missed..."

She stepped back, just to face him, eyes full of desire. And he fell like a magnet to kiss her passionately.

After the kiss, she put her mouth on his ear again and:

"Go back to DC, buy a bed even stronger, the strongest one; we have a lot to put in days on bed, I will prepare you a very a nice surprise..."

She pulled away to face him again, so sexy face, that would leave any luxury prostitute with envy.

'Damn, she quickly learned to soften my heart, brain and everything.' He thought, as already felt the reactions of his body by her whispers in his ear. But he soon banished those thoughts from his mind, after all they were in a hospital!

"Okay, Emily, I realy need to go back to New York, we're working on a very difficult case, and the news is not good. But I'll be here with you today; tomorrow I'll take you three at home and then I'm gone"...

And so it happened, Hotch took many pictures of the babies and Emily to show Jack, left them at Clyde's and returned to New York.

He was excited about his new family, but let's get back to work. And Emily completely understood this, it was also her kind of job, and she knew she'd have to see him leave this way many times, and at the most important moments. But she was not Haley, she would never make him choose between work and family. If there was a woman who could understand it, was she. This work was a mission, an oath.

The next day Hotch was gone, Emily made a phone call:

"Doctor, is Emily, I want to make an appointment."

"Everything alright with babies?"

"Everything okay with them, I need to take a doubt" ...

15 days later:

Hotch and Emily spoke everyday on the phone, she put the phone on children ears for them to hear father's voice, and also Jack's.

After working for fifteen uninterrupted days, Hotch had a Saturday off, he left very early with Jack, they were in the car on the way to somewhere that Jack didn't know where was:

"So buddy, you know where we're going?"

"No daddy, but we could go swimming!" The boy said excitedly.

"You want to swim buddy? How about a playground and a soccer field?"

"Wow Dad, that would be awesome!"

"What about dogs and an aquarium full of fishes?"

"Dad, I always wanted a dog, can we have a very big one, to run with me?"

"We can have the dog you want, buddy..."

"That's great Daddy! But Daddy, how the dog will run with me into the apartment, there is no space"

"Well, we can fix that."

"Can we, how?"

"We can move to a place where you have plenty of space for you and your little brother and sister, and a dog, and fish, and a pool, and a playground and a soccer field, and everything you want buddy".

The man was really happy, how many years he did not feel like that.

"We're buying a house?"

"Yeah buddy, we're buying a house!"

Hotch looked in the rearview mirror to see the happiness on his son face (who was in the back seat, of course).

"And Thomas and Paget and will play with me daddy?"

"Well, they are still babies, you'll have to wait a little bit ..."

"I want to meet them" ...

"Over two weeks and daddy will get them, ok?"

"Ok, daddy. Can I go too?"

"We'll see buddy..."

That Saturday they spent visiting houses that the broker had separated for Hotch. He chose to buy a house safer, quiet neighborhood, with a large garden for children, swimming pool, soccer field, and large bedrooms.

It would be a surprise for her. Since she also said she was preparing a nice surprise for him.

Hotch was talking to the broker and Jack was running around the new house:

"I'll buy that one. When do you think we can move?"

"I believe that the documents will be ready next week. So think next weekend you can already move here. You made an excellent choice Mr. Hotchner, this house had a queue of buyers."

"I liked very much, and I believe my future wife will love it."

"I bet she will!"...

"Daddy, Daddy, there is a kennel in the backyard and a little house on top of the tree!"

"That's great buddy!"

"Can I go play in there?"

"Dad is still buying the house, but you will have much time to play up there ..."

"Come see it daddy" ..

Hotch went with Jack to the the garden, and the broker remained filling out paperwork.

"Look daddy, there is a little house on top of the tree. I always wanted a tree house, Daddy ..."

"Now you have, Jack. We just need to fix the stairs. Then you can go play up there."

"The babies will be able to play with me, Daddy?"

"Only when they grow a little more."

"And if their mom doesn't let them ..." Jack said, a little sad.

"Of course she'll let them, I bet she will."

"Miss Emily will also be my mom, dad?"

Hotch lowered in order to face his son:

"Look, Jack, you have a mother, she is now in heaven with Jesus and God, taking care of you from there, remember?"

Jack nodded.

"And I can bet that she would be pleased to have a mom to help me take care of you until you grow up; and I bet she'd be much happier if it was Emily. So, buddy, if you want, Emily will be another Mom for you. She loves you. You want it? "

"Jack nodded smiling."

Hotch, now, took a deep look into his son eyes.

"Good... And Jack... Daddy wants you to know that no matter what; I love you and I always will..."

"I know daddy; I love you too."

London

A saturday afternoon one week after Hotch bought a house; Emily was in her bedroom, breastfeeding Thomas, while Paget was already sleeping; Clyde suddenly enters the bedroom. When bumping into that scene, he:

"Ops, Sorry, Em" ...

"That's ok, Clyde, it is not as if you had never seen it before" ...

"Not like this ..." He replied smiling.

"They are really cute"...

"Yeah!" ... "Clyde, I wanna talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. Anytime you want."

"I'll just finish up here."

"I wait for you in office."

"Ok"

A fear suddenly gripped Clyde. His heart sank. He was always good at predicting things, but he prayed that this time, he could be mistaken. He went to the office, prepared a whiskey for himself and stood there waiting for her, thinking.

After half an hour, she went to talk to him. Mary was taking care of the twins. She entered the office; Clyde was sitting on a chair, head down, savoring his drinking. Emily sat on the couch next to him. Without looking at her, he spoke first.

"I already know what you're going to tell me ..."

"Clyde, I really want to apologize; I'm so sorry... I... I really wanted this job when I accepted to come here; but I didn't realize how intense all this would be. I just can't raise my children too far from theirs father. This will be impossible for me. And I have to think about them now. I don't want it to sound like an irresponsible quit the job now and leave; I want you to understand that they are priority for me now... I knew I was pregnant when I left there, yeah, I knew, but I left there without thinking, but I want to do the right things for my children now, I'm sorry, really sorry."

Clyde was just listening, he really wasn't worried about the work, but about what he would do when he got home and she was not there anymore, because every little peace of the house would reminded her, but he could not asked it from her. She had not promised him anything, on the contrary, she always made it very clear that there would never be anything between them, and that the past was well buried.

"Say something."

"Everything will be ok with the work Em; I mean, it is big loss to Interpol, it is really hard to find someone competent to this important post, but I agree, you have to think of your children above everything"...

"And I also want to thank you for what you have done for me during all these months, for all your patience with me, for all the warmth and concern. It meant a lot to me".

Only now he looked at her and asked:

"You think you can forgive me now, for the mistakes from the past?"

He was referring to Doyle episode.

She looked at him, took a deep breath.

"I don't know, Clyde. That whole thing left me many scars, they will not ever go away, and I'm not referring only to the clover and the scar on the belly, but my internal marks; those of the soul...But I can tell that was a start. Only I know how I felt when I went to bed with that man for the first time. I fell for him, yes, I fell in love for him, but it was a long process. And that love brought me nothing but grief, because it hurt me turn him over to the police. Pained me to see a child grow up without their father... and... Too many sorrows."

Clyde put the drink on the table in front of them, stood and sat on the couch beside her.

He stuck his fingers through her hair, which made her back off a bit, he looked deeply into her eyes:

"I never said "I love you" to anyone, not even to my parents when they were alive, much less for any woman. But if I had to tell someone, it would be you; because I am not and never have been a sentimental kind; I never had feelings; but I'm pretty sure that what comes close to love is what I feel for you".

Emily's heart broke a little, to see her friend there so vulnerable, it was so far from the Clyde that she knew.

Clyde tried to pull her into a kiss, but she got up quickly:

"Clyde, I'm sorry, I can't. That wont be good for me neither for you."

Long pause.

"When do you leave?"

"I still have to talk to Hotch, but I think no more than ten days."

Ten days passed quickly, and the living together between Emily and Clyde got a little heavy, bitter; he was more introspective, more thoughtful. He had now fully aware that he had left the happiness slip through his fingers. But it was a price that he had to pay for his wrong choices and acts.

It was a Friday, the BAU team was working a case in Texas. Hotch called Emily:

"Hey" ...

"Hi, baby, how are the children?"

"They're fine."

"The case is difficult, but once we're done here, I'll get you. You already resigned from Interpol?"

"Yes, everything is solved. We're ready to go."

Forty two days after the babies were born; it was a Monday, they had solved the case in Texas over the weekend, Hotch went to get Emily and the babies.

All packaged; inside the cab; Emily left the cradles for donation, and some of her belongings and some clothes. Hotch entered Clyded's home just to get Emily things, bags and babies and the cat. Hotch put everything in the car while Emily was with babies on the sofa. Clyde was in his office. Hotch and Emily went to the taxi, she left the babies with him and returned to say goodbye to Clyde. She knocked the door:

"I'm... going, I ...just wanted to say... goodbye ..."

He looked up to face her. Glass of whiskey in hand. He put the glass down the table, got up and went to her. He came very close to her, held her face with both hands. He looked deeply into her eyes for a moment. She stared at him in the eyes. Through that look, everything has been said. And then he pulled her into a hug. A long hug. Very tight hug. Consuming hug. Affectionate hug. Goodbye hug. Gratitude hug. Despair hug. Loss hug. Hug of everything that could have been and was not.

Once Emily came out of his office, closing the door behind her, he took the glass of whiskey and throwed with full force against the wall; not satisfied, he threw all the papers around the room. His will was to go after her, but he knew he couldn't; he knew his chance ended many years ago. 'Do not play with the heart of a woman.' That, oddly enough, was the worst lesson he learned in life.

Emily heard the glass shatter, for a moment, she wanted to go back there, but she didn't. She only allowed herself to shed a tear. She got in the car:

"Is everything all right?"

She stared at him:

"Yeah."

He pulled her into a kiss on the cheek, squeezing her hand. And so they went back to DC.

"We will begin a new stage in our lives. Everything will be fine. I promise". Her told her.

He knew she had already passed through a lot in life. He knew she was venturing into this relationship for the children in first place, and he knew that if it was up for her, she never would risk for more suffering.

Folks; thank you all who are following this story. The next chapter will be arriving in DC, Emily will know about the new house, she'll also tell Hotch about the surprise she has prepared for him. The team will know about the twins, Jack will meet the babies; Hotch and Emily will finally have some time together. And who do you think should baptize twins. Send sugestions. I love you all...


	20. Chapter 20

**This chapter will be a little hot. very little.**  
**I OWN NOTHING.**

They arrived at DC around 4 pm on Tuesday. The trip was quiet . But they all were very tired and babies cried a lot. The cat was also stressed, typical family trip. Hotch had left his SVU at the airport , they packed the car with things, bags, cat, and babies.

Hotch had already provided suitable accommodations for the babies, on the car backseat.

Babies sleeping in the back seat; Sergio lying also on the back seat, tied by a leash; Hotch driving, Emily beside him, watching the streets, it looked like she had never left. She watched it all in silence. Suddenly, tears rolled uncontrollably from her eyes. Hotch paying attention to traffic, but can not help noticing:

"What is it, Emily, why are you crying?"

"I don't know, I'm afraid ..."

"Afraid of what?"

"Those two kids, totally dependent on me, I don't know ..."

"Emily, you're not alone, I am here, I'm not going anywhere ...".

"... Until the next case ..."

For this, he had no answer.

After a while:

"Emily, I have all planned, we'll talk about it, we'll find a way to make it work. I promise that everything will be alright. Now, can we go home?"

"We're going to your place? Are you sure?"

"We're going to OUR place!"

After one more time driving, they arrived. The house that Hotch had bought was at one of the safer condos of the city. They passed through the concierge, even before arriving at the house, Emily looked at him:

"You didn't !" And smiled admiringly.

He just smiled back forming those beautiful dimples.

Hotch parked the car in front of their new house, before they get off the car, Hotch looked at her and:

"That's our house, I bought it for our family... Sorry don't expect for you to choose, but I really wanted to do this surprise, and the house has everything children need..."

She was speechless. She hugged him:

"I love you!" She said, still hugging.

"Come on. Let's go inside! I have already provided the basic furniture, but I left for you to decorate it..."

"Hotch, I don't know what to say"...

They took the babies; left Sergio inside the car (Emily really cared about he does not vanish), and went to see the house.

Emily was amazed, the house was really beautiful and comfortable; everything that a family needed. Hotch took her to see the bedrooms (which were upstairs); babies' room was not decorated yet, he was letting her to do it. There were four comfortable suites upstairs; downstairs had a large living room, a large kitchen, a large dining room, and an office, not so large, because he didn't intend to spend much time there.

Emily saw the whole house, the garden and everything; of course she loved it. It seemed like she was living a dream, she was afraid to wake up at any moment. Hotch noticed a certain fear in her eyes.

"Did you like it?"

"Sure! I love it! What more could I want?"

"So why do these eyes frightened?"

"Profiles"... "I never had such a lot of happiness like this….I'm scared" ...

He put her in a hug.

"Just relax, Emily, I know it's all new, for both of us; I also a long ago don't feel so happy, but I'm sure everything will be alright. Everything will be alright… I'll get Jack, okay? He's dying to see you and the twins!"

"Ok".

Emily stood there, in the house, thinking about everything that she needed to arrange to finish decorating the house, she suckled the twins and left them in the baby cart, she also talked a little bit with Sergio, who was lying on the couch, explaining that this was their new house, and that he had to get along with the dog that they were going to have.

'After everything you've put me through, I think this will be easy. 'The cat thought.

Not long after, Jack arrived with Hotch; BAU team were reviewing some cases, so he took this opportunity to get Emily and spending time with his family.

Emily was standing looking out the window, waiting for Hotch and Jack, the twins were in their baby cart, sleeping. Hotch opened the door, Emily looked at Jack, the boy gave a shy smile, and stuck in his father's pants bar.

"Come here" ...

Emily said, affectionately, lowered and held out her arms to wait for him. And he went. Emily hugged the boy.

She pulled back just a bit to be able to face him:

"How are you, Jack?"

"I'm fine".

"Are you happy that we all live together as one big family?"

"Yeah…" He said smiling, but a little shy.

"Come to see the babies"... Emily grabbed him by the hand.

Jack met the babies.

It was almost dark; Hotch went to buy something for them to eat and he also bought diapers; the pantry was still empty. It was a typical family night. They were really very happy.

Jack was asleep in his room, Emily put the baby carts in her and Hotch bedroom; no way she would not sleep away from them.

"They're going to sleep in here?"

"Yes…their room is not…ready… yet….."

"You can put the carts in their bedroom and turn on the Cry Baby Alarm, so we can see if they are crying ..."

Hotch spoke and Emily felt her heart tighten; he realized, of course.

"What's wrong..."

"I've never been away from them since they were born. Never... Even when I went… (well, that part she didn't want to tell him now.)… "They are still so small and I have to wake up to breastfeed them. I'm afraid of not wake, of not listen them crying... "

The hope that Hotch had of have her that night went downhill. He couldn't stand to be without her anymore, but he knew he would have to wait. Emily saw his disappointment.

"Aaron, I really want you. I really miss you. But ..."

"For tonight, that's ok. But we'll hire a nurse, okay?

Of course, she didn't want it; but she knew the best for now was to agree with that.

"Ok"  
And the little babies were sleeping each one in their baby cart, Hotch and Emily went under the covers.

They lay down facing each other, they embraced strong underneath the covers, Hotch kissed her deeply, lingeringly, savoring her mouth, lips, tongue and everything... He was very horny, so does Emily. Hotch slid his right hand inside her panties and began to massage her clit gently with his fingers. Emily almost drowned in pleasure as he did it. My God, she'd forgotten how good it was, and how he was good at it! They were still well embraced. Hotch then slid his finger a little more down to get inside her.

"No." She whispered, almost like a groan.

"…we do it quietly ... please." Hotch whispered.

"No…no… Not in front of them…. And…. I… I want it to be special…"

Hotch tried to think of unsubs, murderers, rapists, torturers, maniacs, etc. He wanted her so bad. Then, he supported the left elbow on the bed, and with his right hand continued to play with her clit.

She looked at him: Eyes of desire. Mouth Opened. Deep breath. Dry mouth.

"I want to see you cum." He whispered looking into her eyes.

And she let him do it for her. And he was watching the reactions of her face while he masturbated her and she squirmed. She closed her eyes.

"No… open your eyes….look at me….I wanna see the pleasure…in your eyes…" Hotch ordered while strummed efficiently with his fingers.

'God, since when he became a torturer…' Emily thought. But, in fact, she was loving it.

Until she came. And she had to do it quietly. She was not a scandalous kind in bed, but she liked to make some noise. But today she had to hold her moans. Once Emily came, he took his fingers and licked them, still on eyes contact, since it was the maximum of sex he would have today. He kissed her deeply, and she said in his ear:

"I promise I'll reward you ..."

"I'm look forward for it."

About twenty minutes later, they were almost asleep, Thomas started yelling. Time to breastfeed the babies. Hotch watched the whole scene enchanted. While she was breastfeed Thomas, she said:

"Aaron, we need to choose the godparents."

"Do you have someone in mind?"

"You know I have."

"I suppose that are more or less the same people that I have."

"Who do you have?"

"You first"

"Well, I thought about Derek and Pen to Thomas, and JJ and Reid to Paget; but as I think Derek would not accept, we can call Pen and Rossi to Thomas.

"I totally agree. But why do you think that Morgan would not accept? Do you think he still has some hope? Do you think he still loves you?"

Emily "O", began to stammer:

"I…I…..I…. don't….Kn… know…. he never answered my emails…..we never talked since I left to London….so… I suppose he no longer want neither my friendship."

"You miss him?"

Emily thought it a strange question. She knew that Hotch was not the jealous type. And he really had no insecurity. It was not jealousy. It was just curious.

"If you mean if I miss my friend, yes, I miss, very much."

Uncomfortable moments of silence; where the only sound that could be heard was the baby sucking Emily niples.

"Then we can arrange a dinner, invite them all to come here, tell the news, and I took the opportunity to invite them for baptism."

"I talk to them tomorrow."

"OK. Now ….sleep, you have to wake up early."

"Ok, mom…". He said teasing her.

During the first days, Jessica was helping Emily with babies and Jack, Hotch was traveling a lot with the team, cases. During the few days that Hotch could stay at home, they went out to buy a car for Emily; settled accents for babies; they went to the supermarket to buy things for more than a month; bought the furniture that was missing. They made wonderful decorations for the babies bedroom, and to Jack's bedroom too. But the babies were still sleeping in the Emily and Hotch bedroom. He didn't like it. Not that he didn't love her children, but he wanted total privacy with his wife.  
It was a Saturday afternoon, they were finishing lunch, Hotch said:

"Emily, from today they will sleep in their room ..."

He barely finished the sentence, his cell phone rang.

He answered, hung up, looked at Emily:

"Well, it seems that they can sleep with you a few more days ..."

"Another case?"

"Apparently a very difficult, I'm leaving."

He got his go bag, kissed his three children, kissed Emily, and flew away.

"Take care."

"You, anything, call me ok?"

"Ok. I love you."

"I love you too".

The case was really hard; it was Thursday when they were returning to the BAU. They were all on the plane, including Garcia, who had to go with them for this case. Hotch took the opportunity to talk to the team.

"Since we're all here I wanna to invite you all to the inauguration dinner of my new house. I was thinking about Saturday, if it's okay for you all."

Everyone looked with surprise, a pleasant surprise. It was a festival of "I'm in"; less Morgan, who remained quiet. Since that episode occurred many months ago, the two men kept living just in favor of work. Morgan would not feel comfortable in the house of the man who pulled him away from the woman who had, for the first time in his life, made him found out that he had a heart.

Realizing that Morgan hadn't answered; Hotch:

"Morgan?"

Morgan then looked at his boss, still saying nothing.

"I really want you to go, Morgan; I'm starting a new stage in my life, I wish you were there".

Hotch said it, but deep down, he knew that if Morgan really went it was going to be worse for both men. And who knows, also, for Emily. But he felt he should insist. He really wanted settle things between them. They were never best friends, but there was always a sincere friendship between them.

"Ok"

Morgan replied, but he didn't know if he would go or not.

Saturday came, thank God were no new cases; Emily was dealing with the children's bath, the twins were about to complete three months. Jack was tidy, helping his father finish things for dinner, they had hired a buffet.

Garcia had asked Morgan to take her to Hotch's. It was a way she found to be sure that he would go. JJ went with Will and Henry, Rossi went alone, Reid went alone.

Reid was the first to arrive. He was always on time, even if the commitment were a family party.

Hotch was finishing setting the table for dinner; Reid entered and played a bit with Jack, while talking platitudes with Hotch, like the house was beautiful and great.  
Suddenly, Reid hears a voice coming from upstairs:

"Aaron, could you please help me down with baby strollers and the babies?"  
Reid frowned and shook his head as if he had lost the reality for a moment. He made a face of question mark. He looked at Hotch who just smiled and went upstairs. Reid looked to Jack:

"I have two brothers, now!"

"You do?"

'That voice is well known.' Reid thought.

Hotch came with two strollers and climbed the stairs again. Reid just watched. Looking at the top of the stairs he saw Emily coming down with a baby on her arms and another another with Hotch. Whoa! Whew. Two children!

"Oh, Emily!" His face was of astonishment.

"Reid!"

She descended carefully, placed the child who was in her arms, carefully, in the stroller, and ran to hug Reid:

"Reid, I missed you so much!"

"Emily, you have two kids! That's quite a change!"

"Yeah!"

"You have two babies... and... with our boss!"

"Your boss!" She corrected him, smiling.

"Can I see them?"

"Sure, Reid! Make yourself at home ..."

While Emily was with babies and Reid, Hotch was opening the door for Rossi.

For Rossi nothing would be a surprise, since he already knew everything. About Emily, about the twins, about the new house. Hotch always talked with him during the months that Emily was in London; Rossi was Hotch's trusted advisor during all this time. They always shared a drink after work hours.

Emily looked at him going, he carried a beautiful bouquet of flowers for her.

"Ohhhhhhh Thank you, Dave!"

"Congratulations for the beautiful children! Welcome back, Emily!"

"Thank you, Dave ..."

She hugged him.

It was not long, JJ arrived with her family; Hotch opened the door for them; Henry was soon running to play with Jack. JJ entered the large room, face of astonishment when he saw Emily.

"I can not believe it! Emily!"

The two friends hugged thrilled.

"Sorry haven't told you, but it all got me quite by surprise, absolutely nothing that is happening was planned, it just happened ..."

"Oh Emily, you don't have to apologize" ... "I'm so happy for you!" JJ said holding both hands of Emily with her two hands. Watering eyes.

Will greeted everyone too; they stood there talking, meeting the babies, knowing the house.

They were all in the living room, talking animatedly; children playing. Emily had gone with JJ for changing Thomas diapers; Paget was crying a lot, so Hotch grabbed her into his arms to calm her down. Rossi went, then, to open the door for Penelope and Derek. Penelope's mouth was on foot when she saw Hotch holding a baby, but she soon returned to normal thinking, 'well, this baby must not belong to him'. Derek had a bad feeling seeing that. They entered, only to see Emily, in flesh and bones, down the stairs with another baby in her arms. She froze when her eyes met those of Derek. It was as like no one else was there.

Derek didn't stay there neither for a second more. He flew away. Emily quickly put the baby on JJ's arms; passed by Penelope and:

"Sorry Pen, I talk to you in a moment."

And then she ran into the garden behind a furious Derek; leaving an ultra competent team of profilers behind.

**And that, folks? What happens now? tks for comments. Send suggestions. love you all.**


	21. Chapter 21

**I OWN NOTHING**

"Derek…. Derek…"

Emily screamed as she ran behind Derek through her house garden. 'Shit! He walks so fast!'

"I don't want to hear a word…Go back to your **happy** family!"

He yelled at her as he walked toward his car, without looking back.

Emily tried to hold him by his arm, but he pulled his arm tightly. He continued walking. Emily chasing him so quickly that she didn't see a bump in the road, she stumbled, and fell down her knees on the sidewalk. Derek, who was already getting in his car (opened a parenthesis in his anger), and, immediately, returned to help her up. He reached for her. She took his hand and stood up.

"You okay?" He asked, still angry.

'Always protector'; She thought.

"If you mean physically, yes, but if you mean internally, emotionally, **no**!... Derek, please, you must listen to me"...

"Listen to what?" There is nothing to hear here Emily ... I've seen all I had to see...". He stared at her, opening his arms.

"Derek, none of this was planned. So much has happened, everything happened so suddenly, I went to London, and I really don't know if I would come back or not, I was so confused; just give me a chance to explain ..."

"There's no explanation for this, Emily; first you vanish, without a goodbye, and now reappears with children, a family, and practically married! And tell me that everything happened suddenly! How old you think I am? Two?"... He screamed a lot at her face.

"But it was (Her voice was fading.)... I sent you an email and you didn't answer me..."

"Ohhh please! (Disgusted face) An email? After all we live together…after all these years together…. you really think an email would be enough?…what high regard you have for me….. Thanks, Emily!" Derek spoke sarcastically.

Emily was feeling cornered, but she still had some arrows, and it was time to start shoot them, and would be now, she knew it would be a dangerous shot, but she had to risk it:

"What about you Derek? Which consideration you have with people, huh? While you're **ALL** worried about your ego; and about your heart and the feeling that you **think** you have for me, you dropped a wonderful woman in the middle of the living room, who came with you, who has strong feelings for you; and you went out without thinking, leaving her behind. Did you stop for a fucking second to think about her feelings? (it was her turn to scream). Did you stop to think about her feelings, Derek? And… about… how she must have felt humiliated seeing your reaction in front of e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e, when in fact everyone knows how much she loves you? And not to mention our friends that are all in there, not to mention the kids…and not to mention **my** kids that you didn't even care to look at. (She was almost crying now) Have you ever stopped to think about anything but yourself ? No! Of course not, you just have time to worry about who? (she was being very cynical now) ….About yourself and your fucking **huge** ego! And about 'not knowing how to deal with the fact of failing to take me to your bed' (she emphasized the quotation marks with fingers)….. I'm tired of it ! ….. (Emily took a break to control her breathing)…..Now do me a favor, Derek, I'm going inside (She pointed with her forefinger to the house), and you'll come after me... But if you don't; know that I'll be eternally grateful for all you did for me; but you can consider our friendship ended here."

And so, Emily made her way back to the house without looking back, fighting back tears. In fact, she was praying all the way for him to come after her; she knew she had been very hard on him. But she was tired of this game. It was everything or nothing. And she knew that in order to things work well with Hotch, she would have to solve this part of her life. She knew that Derek would have become nothing more than a brother to her. And it had to be clear to him.

Derek stayed there; he leaned back in his car. He was thinking of every word she said, especially about Penelope. But really thought about everything; he began even to question if his desire for Emily was in fact just take her to his bed. Recalling the last words she said, about friendship ended, he decided to enter.

Hotch was waiting for her at the door (of course). She passed by him:

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah! ….just…leave the door ajar for a while..."

She came to greet Penelope, who was holding Paget, while Thomas was in JJ's arms.

Emily hugged her friend.

"Oh Emily, you were able to make this little one just like yourself, I'm so speechless!"

"Ahh Pen… She is prettier than me!"

"Oh…No….she's just like you!" Penelope insisted. "She is a miniature Emily".

"And this one…is just like his father!" JJ said.

"Ohhhh and we have plenty to talk about it, huh ..." Penelope said, joking.

Emily just smiled.

"Well, while you two take care of my children, I'll check on dinner…"

When Emily went to the kitchen, Derek made his way to the living room where everyone was. She saw him entering, and she was deeply grateful to God, she thanked God silently. She didn't want loose his friendship. The profilers knew exactly what was going on, except for Reid, who lived in a parallel world.

"What's up Derek, forgot to turn off the car?" Said a clumsy Reid, laughing.

Nobody laugh.

"Something like that ..." Derek replied, greeting everyone.

"Congratulations for the house and for the children ..." He said shaking hands with Hotch.

"Thank you." Dryly Hotch.

And then he went to Penelope and JJ to meet the babies.

Babies began the ritual of crying together. Emily came quickly from the kitchen to her children.

"Well, folks, first I'm going to feed my babies, then we can have dinner, ok?"

And the three women climbed into the Emily's bedroom.

They wanted to talk intimacies while Emily nursed babies.

The rest of the night occurred without major problems. All of them talked civilly; children running through the garden, around the house; the adults talking animatedly, and babies crying hours, sleeping hours.

Everyone was really very happy about Emily being back; and about Hotch finally had found happiness again, after so much suffering.

Dinnertime.

Everyone was sitting at the table, babies sleeping peacefully in their strollers when Hotch rested his hand on Emily's hand and said:

"Emily and I have something to say."

She looked at him and smiled.

"First I want to say I am very happy to be here with you all. You really are family to me. I want to say that a long ago I don't feel so happy, with the woman I love (he looked at her) and with my three children. I really don't think it was possible to feel this way again….. Thank you for all you being here… So, Emily and I would like to would like to extend an invitation…"

"Yeah… we'd like to invite you to baptize our children."

"All of us? This is impossible because the normal is for each child just one couple and we have here….." And Reid started talking nonstop until it was cut…."

"Well, there are two children; I think we can share it." Hotch said.

"You can choose!" Emily said.

"Ohhhhhhhh ... I fell in love with Paget! She is so sweet ..." Said Penelope.

"I do a fair division." Said David Rossi, the man.

"Penelope and Morgan baptize Paget; …okay for you, Morgan?" Rossi asked.

Everyone looked at him.

"For me….(he gulped) it's… ok ..." Actually, he had no certainty about it.

Everyone realized that he was not happy with that situation; Emily's heart ached a little to realize his disdain for her daughter through Morgan's eyes, but she remain quiet and deep down, both she and Hotch, knew Morgan was a good guy.

Rossi continued:

"Reid and JJ baptize Thomas;…. It's okay for you, Will?

"Of course, no problem ..."

"What about you, Dave?" Hotch asked.

"Well, I already feel myself like a super "god-grandfather" to all these children in here."

Everyone laughed and agreed.

"So; a toast".

"I want to say one more thing." Hotch added.

Everyone looked at him.

But he looked only to Emily; and Emily looked at him with surprise face:

"Since I believe I have found the woman of my life, after fighting this feeling for years, I want to enjoy the presence of all of you here and…(he reached into his pants pocket to get a box with a ring), Emily Prentiss, will you marry me?"

Emily shivered from head to toe. Her mouth opened wide; heart racing.

The team was surprise to see their boss melt of love there in front of everyone.

Thinking of Morgan: 'Son of a bitch!'

Not exactly that Morgan hated Hotch; but right now he hated.

After Emily finally realized that this was really happening, she was able to smile with happiness, but she was still very surprised.

"So Emily, I'm waiting for your answer, and I think our guests too ..." Hotch said, holding the ring in his hand.

"Yes!" she said, when she was able to breathe again; she was really speechless, but very very happy.

Hotch caught her right hand ring finger and put the ring very slowly. At this time, there was an enormous connection between them. He did it without looking away from her eyes. It was as if there was nobody else there. Through that look they exchanged caresses, hugs, kisses, vows of eternal love, promises of fidelity and complicity and many 'I love you'. It is. They had a strong bond. And they expect it to be forever. He finished put the ring on her finger, they leaned in for a kiss on the lips.

They toasted again and Morgan could not believe he was participating of that.

After dinner, they went back to talking in the living room; Morgan went, with his tenth dose of whiskey, to the balcony outside, looking at the stars, and wondering if he was paying for all the women he had made suffer… Penelope went behind him.

"Don't you think you've had drink enough?" She said, sweetly.

"I have you to drive us home, right?"

"As long as you stay in my place ..."

"Is that an invitation?" …emptying his glass...

"It's an invitation for you not to kill yourself drunk on street corners"...

She really wanted him, but not drunk! No way! But today, by a contradiction of fate, he really wanted her:

"I'm done staying here. Shall we go?"

The night was great, especially for Hotchner family.

They all had already gone away; Emily was putting Jack on bed. He was really tired:

"Emily… since you will marry my Daddy, will you be my mommy?"

"You want me to be your mom?" She asked, sweet smile.

"mmhmm" Jack nodded.

Emily opened the most charming smile in the world for him:

"Then I'll be the happiest mother in the world to have you as a son ..."

She finished cover him, kissed his forehead:

"I love you ..."

The boy just smiled.

In another bedroom, she placed the twins in their cribs. It was the first time they were going to sleep there.

"Mommy will be here in the next bedroom, ok… the door will stay open, the baby alarm is turned on; just cry and mommy comes running okay. I have… well… some…. issues… to solve… with your father…..I love you."

She talked to the babies, but in fact they were already asleep. They were tired, they were not used to such turmoil.

She kissed each of the babies and left.

She went to her bedroom, took a shower, put a very sexy lingerie.

Hotch was downstairs, rearranging things, locking gates, doors, connecting alarms, etc... And he spent a long time searching for the cat. He knew that Emily would make a scandal if the cat vanishes; Sergio had been hiding, because of Jack and Henry who were pulling his tail. Finally, Hotch found him in the treehouse chimney. 'What wouldn't I do for you, Emily'. It was his thought.

Finally, he opened his bedroom door, he almost fell backward; it was the most beautiful sight in many millennia of life that could exist...

**Well, I have to warn you, the next chapter will be really hot. Emily and Hotch, for sure, since they haven't had sex since she moved to London... Maybe a little Morgan and Garcia too, what do you think?**

**Just to clarify: "mouth on foot" or "mouth on the floor" means when someone opens the mouth, looking in amazement; and our Emily does it a lot! Of course, these expressions are figuratively. Hope you understand!**


	22. Chapter 22

**This chapter will get dirty, please do not read if you are underage.**

**I OWN NOTHING**

Emily was lying in their bed, wearing nothing more than a super sexy black lingerie, contrasting with her extremely white soft skin. She also spent eyeliner eyes; lengthened lashes, red lipstick, and a fragrance stunning. The room was dark, with a few aromatic candles lit. The setting was perfect... Hotch came in and immediately locked the door behind him; she smiled devilishly at him; in less than a minute he was wearing nothing but his underwear. He lay on Emily's body, fitting perfectly between her legs, and after a penetrating looking into her eyes, he kissed her lingeringly. His hands wandered happily through her body as they kissed.

Hotch started to kiss her neck and went down to her breasts, which were overprotected by her bra. With his tongue, he made his way up the exposed part of her breast.  
Emily grabbed his chin gently with her hands and:

"No, this is a forbidden territory for you until the next at least three months. That belongs to your children for now. But I promise I have much better things for you right down there..." Emily said with a devilish way.

They fell into another long and deep kiss.

A kiss that began in the mouth and went through every inch of her body. Emily squirmed while Hotch was traveling with his tongue savoring every part of her body. Hotch pulled her panties carefully, he looked at her with his dimples and she smiled back evilly, that he understood as an invitation. Then he plunged his tongue with the interiors of Emily. She automatically opened her legs even more for him.

She closed her eyes and squirmed while he interspersed between soft licks and sucks hungry in her wet folds and her clit.

She gripped the sheets with her hands and writhed in pleasure, moaning softly.

He stopped to suck her just to say, "cum to me... my love... com'on... I wanna feel you cum in my mouth...in my tongue ...I wanna feel the pulse of your orgasm in my mouth...".

He talked while playing with his efficiently tongue on her clit.

Emily could no longer coordinate her thoughts. She breathed deeply and quickly, she felt a tingle of pleasure throughout the body, it was like she could explode at any moment. Then she came, was the most intense orgasm she had ever experienced in her whole life, she lost consciousness for a moment and took a while for her to recover. Hotch was just watching her recover, proud of himself.

Still breathing hard, she managed to say:

"Fuck! I didn't know this world to which you just took me" ...

He was planting soft kisses down her body until it reaches the mouth:

"You like?... I can take you there many times ..."  
Hotch was talking and planting kisses on her body and quickly took off his underwear, and was falling into place between her legs.

Meanwhile, at Penelope's place:

"Give me the car keys, Pen?" Asked Morgan.

"No! You're barely able to stand up".

"You already made coffee…... I'm better now, c'mon give me the key".

"No, you sleep on the couch and I sleep in bed."

"Alright, I sleep here, but since it is in bed."

"Ok, I'm going to couch."

"No! You'll be with me in bed. Otherwise I'm leaving."

'Gee, that's cowardice!' Penelope thought.

Penelope lay down wearing her pajama, pink, with drawings of teddy bears and everything but sexy. She lay on the edge of her bed. She looked at Derek. He no shyness, took off his shirt, took off pants, and wearing nothing but his underwear, went down the covers with Penelope.

They lay down facing each other.

Derek stretched his right arm and began to move his finger gently through Penelope's nose and mouth.

"Thanks for putting up with me, for being my friend ..."

"You don't need to thank me, Derek, I know it was a difficult night for you ... But, you need to move on ..."

"Yeap... well... is not easy..."

"Well, if you really love Emily, you should be happy for her."  
"I don't wanna talk about her..."

"Ok"

Penelope thanked silent, she didn't want to be talking about Emily.

"About what you wanna talk then?

Derek came very close to her; his left elbow supported on bed, so he was a little above her, and:

"Actually, I don't wanna to talk ..."

And then he kissed her. Hot kiss. Long kiss. Hungry kiss.

Less than five minutes later, they were completely naked; Morgan was lying on top of her and he sucked Penelope's breasts so strong as if he was very hungry, and he was completely inside her, his thrusts were becoming so stronger that she thanked for having no one living in the apartment below hers. She knew Derek was drunk, she knew the risks she was running, but she could not help herself anymore, she wanted him. Very much.

Meanwhile, at Hotchers' house:

Aaron and Emily were in a passionate kiss and he only touched his penis at Emily's entrance and he slowly began to push, he noticed some difficulty, she was tighter, he always liked to watch the reactions on her face, then he was looking at her as his cock tried to get more and more; Emily bit her lower lip, and frowned; Hotch noticed something strange on her face expression (profiles!) He had half of his cock inside her; he stopped pushing and:

"Emily, something wrong?"

"No... it's ... just... a little... pain..."

"Wow, pain? after twins in a normal birth"... Hotch strange.

Emily wasn't shy, but this time she was a little shy:

"That was the surprise ..."

"You lost me" ...

She bit her lip and gently:

"I had surgery to reconstruct my vagina, I wanted to be brand new to you ...I'm practically a virgin again!"

"You didn't! I can not believe you did this ..." Hotch was amazed.

"Yes, but now I'm suffering a little bit, so you have to be very gentle with me ..." She teased.

"Oh Emily, I didn't know I could love you even more!"

And then Hotch took a little longer until he could get totally into her, it took a little longer for her to get used to his size, and it took more time for him to start moving inside her. They spent most of the night making love. After hours, they were starting to fall asleep and the babies started crying ... they wanted to breastfeed. But Hotch and Emily were already used to it, they woke up twice at dawn to feed.

The next morning:

At Hotchner's house:

A six year old opens Emily and Aaron bedroom door:

"Daddy, can I go down to watch cartoon?"

Hotch sleepy responds:

"You can, buddy ..."

An even more sleepy Emily responds:

"Only if you come here give me a good morning hug..."

Jack went over and gave her a warm hug.

Emily and kissed his cheek:

"Did you sleep well?"

"mmhmm" Jack nodded.

"You're going down, I'll take a quick shower and I'll make your breakfast, okay?"

"Ok".

The boy left the room; Emily planting kisses on Hotch neck and said:

"Good morning!"

"Before Good morning, I want to say something: I love you!"

They played to tickle each other until Emily went to the bathroom.

At Penelope's place:

Penelope was still lying, but before she opens her eyes, she knew that Morgan was no longer in bed. She prayed silently that he had not gone away. She still scared, opened her eyes. She came face to face with a Morgan sitting in the chair beside her bed, head down, closed expression. Their eyes met. She prayed silently again, quietly; 'don't be sorry! don't be sorry! don't be sorry! don't be sorry!' But this time it seems that the prayer does not work. He looked at her:

"Penelope, I'm so sorry ..."

**Next chapter is almost done.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I OWN NOTHING. I DON'T OWN CRIMINAL MINDS. I DON'T OWN THE SONG.**

"Alright, Derek. You don't need to say anything else."

"Pen, I'm so sorry, this should not have happened. This was a mistake."

"I said….. you don't need to say anything else." She could not face him.

"Can you ever forgive me?"

"You first make it clear that you are sorry and then ask forgiveness? Please, you're embarrassing me even more. Just go." She was getting angry.

Then he got up and walked away without looking back. Tears falling in and out of Penelope's apartment. She cried a lot. He also cried; he felt himself the worst son of a bitch on the planet, of all the planets. 'How did I let this happen! Fuck! Damn!' He cursed himself.

On the same day, it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon; Hotchner family was gathered in the garden of their home when Hotch's cell rang; it was JJ, an urgent case. Emily just stared at him. By their look, they talked, more or less like this: "It is a case. / Yeah, I know. / Gotta go. / Go. I understand. I'm staying right here at home with three kids, a cat and a dog. I'll be fine"/ She knew that her life would be like this for at least another ten years.

Hotch quickly change clothes and less than half an hour later, he was leaving; he planted a kiss on each of his children and one on Emily's lips and left.

"Take care!" Emily said.

"If you need anything, call me."

"Ok"

Morgan was still cursing himself when his cell phone rang as well.

"Fuck!" He didn't think he would have to face Penelope so soon.

All of them went quickly to BAU. They knew that personal issues had to be always in the background. The cases were always priorities. Although it was very difficult today to Morgan and Penelope have to face each other. And it was very difficult for Hotch leaving his family behind. But it is work. JJ presented the case and they were on the plane. Penelope went into her little room. She and Morgan did not exchange any word. Hotch realized there was something very strange there, but he assumed it was because they were working on a Sunday off.

Emily didn't want to stay home alone. Then she put the kids in the car and went for a visit. She was spending the afternoon at her parents' house. They had only seen the twins once. Emily was not sure if her mother would be home, but she knew her father would be, so she went unannounced. Both were home. She spent the rest of the day there with them. When she realized it was already night, she decided to call Hotch's cell phone to see if he would return today.

"Hello, Emily ..." Cold voice.

"O.. O ... Dave .. Hi … wh… where is Aaron? ..."

"He's busy, Emily. He can't talk right now. Is everything Okay?

"... Mmmm ... yeah ... okay, I'll call him later, so ..."

"Okay, bye." Rossi quickly hung up.

Emily felt a very strong grip in her heart that stole all the air. Her mouth dried quickly, and breathing became heavy and she was paler than she already was. She started hyperventilating.

"Wh .. What's wrong, Emily?" Her mother asked, holding one of the babies in her arms.

She could not think. She swallowed.

"He ... He ... I... I do not know ... He could not answer ..."

Elizabeth exchanged a curious glance with her husband; Emily stood hugging herself, and began to walk from one side of the room to another.

"It's getting cold; I think I better go…."

"Emily, you better stay here, it's night." Said her father.

"No... I'm going home, Jack, put your coat on, com'on ..."

She was quickly picking up the twins, her purse; the twins bag; and was taking everything to the car. The babies were awake but fortunately they weren't crying. Emily caught them in the back seat of the car, also Jack, and she engines warmed accelerating fast toward her house. She barely said goodbye to her parents.

She had a very bad feeling. She began to quietly pray, asking God for that Hotch was all right and that she was mistaken about her hunches. She prayed quietly and some tears ran down her face. Suddenly, she was sobbing, and it definitely didn't go unnoticed by Jack:

"Emy, why are you crying?"

"Because I…I… left Sergio alone, and he doesn't like to be alone" ... It was the first thing that came through her mind.

Jack could be only six, but no way he was stupid, he was a Hotchner after all!

"But he already had been alone sometimes ..."

"Yeah ... I know .. is that ... I… just…mmiss him ..." Trembling voice.

"And don't you miss my Daddy! ..."

Heck, the boy was good at it ... he thought how she can miss a cat when his father is away.

"Okay, Jack. I need you to do me a favor. Can you do me a favor? I need you to stay quiet, okay? Can you be quiet for a little while? We're going to get home soon; then we can talk, okay? And it's starting raining and it's dark, so I need you to help me on this, okay?"

And Emily incorporated Reid style and started talking nonstop, and the rain was really heavy. Just slightly to worsen her situation; babies started crying. 'Dear God, help me.'

"Emy, babies are crying!"

"Yeah….I know Jack, can you tell them that we're almost home, please?"

"But I don't know how to talk to babies, Emy ..."

"You just look at them and say ... it's easy, simple ..."

Jack looked at babies crying beside him:

"Mom said we'll get home soon, can you please stop crying; Mommy's crying already and if you don't stop I'll have to cry too..."

Emily finally arrived home, she entered the car through the garage, put the children into the house. Jack went to watch cartoons on TV, Emily left the twins in their stroller that was in the living room, she went upstairs to get clean diapers and pajamas for Jack, who was lying on the couch. She breastfed babies, they slept, she helped Jack to change the pajamas. She poured a glass of milk for him. They were all in the TV room. It was almost 10 pm. Jack was asleep on the couch, the twins were sleeping in the stroller, and Emily's eyes were wide opened, she was on the other couch. She had been alone with the children before, she always been alone with them, but now she was insecure, anxious, nervous, worried, very worried.

She thought about calling Hotch again, but she was afraid, she knew she could not disturb him. He was working. But she sent a message. 'Call me when you can…love you.'

The answer never came.

It was two o'clock in the morning, and Emily's eyes still wide. They were all still in the TV room. She was paralyzed, helpless. Whew. That's not me. I'm not like this.

'Well, if they're all working on a case, it means that Penelope is at BAU. So she decided to call Garcia:

"Hey, Pen, everything okay?"

"Hey, Em, still awake?"

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep, I'm trying to talk to Hotch. You know anything about the case?"

At that moment, Hotch was with a gun pointed at his temples. But Garcia could not say that for Emily.

"Yes, indeed, I know. ... But Emily, I can't talk to you right now, the team is calling me."

And Garcia hung up, leaving Emily speechless with my mouth open, hyperventilating, heart pounding and mind racing a mile.

She wanted to try the cell of everyone on the team, but she knows she could not do that; Hotch would not like it. So, she tried unsuccessfully to calm down.

The team was working on a case that a prisioner who was on death row in the state of Texas, had escaped. He had been sentenced to death for having kept hostage hundreds of men, women and children, for decades; he tortured them for months until they died. He was a psychopath of the worst kind. He knew he was going to die, but he wanted to fulfill a promise that he would be famous before dies, so he wanted to kill someone really important in front of the cameras. He had kidnapped a local journalist, when the FBI team arrived for the case. The team arrived at the building where he was holding her hostage; Morgan broke one side and Hotch entered by another side. The girl gave a shriek, Hotch barely turned to the side whence came the cry and felt a whack on the head. He was not unconscious for long, just enough time for the crazy psychopath steal his gun and make him hostage. The girl ran out of the building.

Hotch was there with a gun (his gun) pointed at his temples.

The crazy psychopath was asking for the press, the more possible. He wanted to be very famous. But nobody called the press. They knew if they called, Hotch would be killed. But they knew that the man had nothing to lose, so it was a matter of time for him to get bored and kill Hotch. Hotch wanted to react, but he thought about his three sons. He could not take that risk.

The negotiation had lasted hours now, the bandit watched all the movement from the second floor of the building; a group of police cars was crowded down there. Morgan didn't want to leave the building so that the criminal could not see him. He was the same height as Hotch,; he then tied Hotch on a chair with tape, and was aiming the gun at the eardrums of Hotch as he stared down the movement of the police and press. He spoke curses all the time for Hotch, that he was going to die, that he was supposed to do his last prayers, that he would be famous too, that he would die as a hero. Hotch remained silent. He wanted to cry remembering Emily and his sons. But he stood firm.

Morgan managed to get into the room where they were by the mezzanine. The man did not notice. It was a risky operation. But he did not think twice, it had lasted for hours already. He took aim. He looked good in the man's brain, and fired, blowing the brains of man. The man fell to the ground, still holding the gun in his hand Hotch, he attempted a reaction. But Hotch stepped firmly on his arm. The bastard finally died. Morgan came to drop Hotch. The police stormed the building. But the men were already saved. The rest of the team breathed a sigh of relief when they saw Hotch coming out Morgan.

It was past four o'clock am, when Emily was still awake, praying softly. Her cell phone vibrated with a message; that made her heart travel through all her body and almost out of her mouth:

'Sorry not return before. It was a difficult case. Tomorrow I'm home. love you too.'

She was finally able to breathe again. She wept with happiness. She put the kids in their bedrooms and went to sleep.

On the plane back to Quantico:

"I would like to thank what you did for me."

"You don't need to thank me, Hotch. Why would we do this job, saving people, if we couldn't help ourselves?"

Moments of silence.

"Hotch, I want to take this opportunity to say that I will not be able to baptize your daughter…. is nothing with her, it's just… the situation ..."

"I totally understand…"

They arrived at the BAU, had other cases waiting, so no one was home. And nobody had time to talk. They had to concentrate on cases. Hotch called Emily.

"Hey"

"Hey, how are you, the babies. Jack?"

"We are good, Jack just went to school, I'm here with the babies… You?"

"I'm fine. Look. We just get BAU, but I don't know when I'll be able to go home, there are a lot of cases, I'm going to take a look; we'll keep talking, ok. Anything you need you call me ok?"

Emily took a deep breath:

"Ok".

"Ok Bye bye, love you".

"Hotch?"  
"Take care, please".

"Ok."

"Love you too".

After fifteen uninterrupted days of work, the team had a gap of two days. It was a Friday night, Hotch was at home and Emily decided to hang out with the girls, JJ and Penelope. She suckled the twins and left. She had a time of three or four hours until the next feeding. Hotch was not sure if he could handle with babies and Jack all alone, but Emily trusted him for that; after all, he was used to deal with the worst slag of the human race; so it was not possible that he did not know to do well with small children.

They were in a bar, talking animatedly, JJ and Penelope drinking beer while Emily drank orange juice (because of the babies she was avoiding alcohol).

"I really missed this, girls ..." Emily said.

"It's been over a year when went out, only the three of us ..."

"Since our strange here moved to London without telling anyone ..." Said Penelope.

"Yeah…Emily, after all, why the hell did you decide to leave?"

"Oh girls, seriously are you going to make me relive it all?"

"From the moment the seeds entered inside you ... until now..." JJ teased.

"Well, it all happened so fast between me and Hotch, I was taken by surprise ..."

"Surprise? Com'on, you have a crush on him since when? Since always ..."

"JJ, of course not ..."

The laughter was general.

"Em, it's us. Com'on."

"Ok.. Since I laid my eyes on it." Emily surrendered.

But Morgan came to me, he said he was ... he was in love with me ...

She looked at Penelope, afraid of saying something that hurt her, as if it were possible. Just the word 'Morgan' was hurting her right now.

"That's ok Em, my curiosity is bigger than the hate I'm feeling for him now; so keep talking".

"They all laughed".

"So, Morgan went to my place and said he was in love with me; but at the same time he said he knew I was in love with Hotch. What left me in a difficult situation. I have to ask you girls: what woman doesn't want a Derek Morgan in her bed?"

"I do!" JJ, raising forefinger.

"Me too!" Penelope, raising forefinger.

"Yeah! And I had to resist. I couldn't play with his feelings only for a few hours of wild sex. I was resisting and he was insisting, and while this, things were happening between me and Hotch".

"It was when, during the periodic examinations for the BAU, I discovered I was pregnant. It was the happiest and saddest day of my life. I went running to tell Hotch and he, callous, cold, unresponsive, without any feeling, asked me if the child was his..."

"Wait, but why he suspected, out of the blue?" JJ asked.

"He heard a conversation between me and Morgan, he drew his conclusions without asking me anything. So I decided that I would take care of the child alone and far away from here. I had received the job offer in London and I went without thinking."

And Emily told everything in detail to her friends. They listened intently, throbbing, typical conversation between friends. Then Emily asked Penelope:

"And you, Morgan? That day, after dinner, what happened?"

"Nothing ..."

"Obviously something happened. Both of you didn't even speak anymore. Everybody noticed. Then split it out". JJ subpoenaed.

Emily looked at Penelope, just raising her eyebrow, waiting for her to speak.

"We had a wild sex night."

Emily almost choked on her orange juice, and JJ was euphoric.

"Really? How was it? In details? "

"It was fantastic, wonderful…. If… the next morning, he had not apologized and made it clear that he repented ..."

"I think a man doesn't make love to a woman who he is not attracted to." Said Emily.

"Yeah, I think he must be just confused."

"Oh, you two are so adorable, but I'm pretty sure he only did it because he was drunk and with someone else in his mind."

"No, Pen, of course not…" JJ said.

Emily chose shut up.

"That's ok girls. I'm used to dealing with rejection… Also, I don't want a man by my side, if he is not completely in love with me."

"That I agree."

"Yeah; me too."

"Pen, but you two have to talk, you can't stay like that; a beautiful and strong friendship so, so pure, it can not end like this. You need to find out what you really feel for him. And then you should talk".

Emily, again, chose shut up.

They talked some more and Emily decided to leave, saying that babies should be hungry. She needed to go. Along the way, driving her car, she turned on the car radio, and the music, their music began to play, the same music they already heard together. She didn't want to think she didn't want to get in touch with this feeling, she just wanted to hug him. But she couldn't. She loved Hotch and her family, the family that she had dreamed so much about. But during the song, she could not stop crying.

She had already solved most of the problems that were in the boxes that she had filed in her mind, but it had no box big enough to fit Morgan. What would she do?

"Fuck!"

The music was:

_Arms - Christina Perri_

_I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart_

_But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start_

_You put your arms around me_

_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

_You put your arms around me_

_And i'm home_

_How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?_

_I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown_

_I hope that you see right through my walls_

_I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling_

_I'll never let our love get so close_

_You put your arms around me and i'm home_

_The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved_

_I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone_

_You put your arms around me_

_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go..._

_I hope that you see right through my walls_

_I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling_

_I'll never let our love get so close..._

_You put your arms around me and i'm home_

_I've tried my best to never let you in, to see the truth._

_And I've never opened up, I've never truly love 'til you_

_Put your arms around me_

_And i believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

_I hope that you see right through my walls_

_I hope that you catch me 'cause i'm already falling_

_I'll never let our love get so close_

_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

**I chose that song because there is a very cute video posted of them two with this song. Very cute. Our Emily is getting confused…**


	24. Chapter 24

**I own nothing**

Emily went to her house. She got there around 11 pm. Hotch was with the twins in the TV room; Jack was asleep in his bedroom.

"Hi, how was it with girls?"

"Nice, I missed that time with them. And the children?"

"Everything ok. I survived." Hotch joked.

Emily then sat on the same couch next to Hotch, took one of the twins to breastfeed.

"Why do you have to do this? They aren't even crying ..." Hotch said.

"Because I have to..."

He didn't understand.

Emily nursed both babies and they slept. She put the babies their cribs, and went downstairs to talk to Hotch.

"Hey, Aaron, I need to get out for a bit ..."

"What? It's almost midnight."

"Hey, I need to get out for a bit ..."

"What? It's almost midnight."

"I gotta do something."

"Do what?"

Emily felt cornered, she could not tell him where she was going.

"Do you trust me?"

Hotch looked at her only sawing his mouth.

"You trust me, Aaron?" Emily insisted.

"Yeah." He replied, but obviously he wasn't liking it at all.

"If you trust, that's a good opportunity to show me that."

She already had her hand on the doorknob, she suddenly turned to Hotch, came next to him. She hugged him strong and said:

"I love you, I love our family, I love be with you, and I want to grow old beside you. Just trust me, ok... I'll be back soon..."

She planted a kiss on his lips and left.

She parked at Morgan address, she noticed through windows of his house, from the outside that there were few lights on.

She was determined about she was going to do.

'…At home on a Friday night'. She thought.

She rang the bell three times, she knew he was there, the car was in the garage, it had low music inside the house. She kept insisting on the doorbell. After about fifteen minutes insisting; Morgan opened the door.

The first thought of him was that maybe something very tragic had happened. But before he could open his mouth to speak, Emily quickly entered his house. Emily was there in the middle of the room, when a stunning woman, like Beyoncé, appeared down the stairs wearing only panties and bra:

"Derek, love, you gonna take too long? Dispatches this 'thing' soon and then you can come back to me, tiger ..."

If the situation weren't so tragic, Emily wanted to laugh.

Emily looked at Derek:

"She just called me 'thing'?" Pointing her forefinger at her.

Morgan even didn't bother to respond.

"Well, compared to her, I must be really just a 'thing'."

"Allright, Prentiss, what do you want?" He was angry.

"I wanna talk." She was angry too.

"OK. But...Not now! I'm kind of busy here…if you didn't notice" He was even more angry.

"Well you are not busy anymore, I wanna talk now!" Her voice increasing.

"My world doesn't revolve around you anymore, Emily. Go away, I can't talk right now."

The bitch was watching everything from above the stairs.

"I'm not going anywhere! We will talk and will talk NOW!" She was screaming now.

"Are you deaf or retarded? He doesn't want talk to you...just go away and leave us alone ..."

Emily trying hard to maintain her composure, she pushed her hair behind her ear, she set her purse on her shoulder, took a deep breath, looked at the half-naked woman and:

"I'm not talking to you ..."

"But I am talking to you! You came here as a ghost in the middle of the night, you look like a ghost even; hinders our night….. he is sending you away and you will not ... wake up and smell the coffee, baby... GET AWAY !" The false Beyoncé was screaming now. She was quite scandalous.

If not for Derek acumen to know that all the shit would hit the fan, he might even say he was enjoying those women arguing because of him.

"Well, Derek, if you will not send your guest to your bedroom, for her to wait for you there, with a very closed mouth and open legs, which is what she must know to do better , so I'll open my mouth and speak all that I have to speak with you right here in front of her. It's your choice and you have just a second to think."

'Like I already knew.' Morgan thought.

"Vicky, please wait for me in the bedroom. I'll solve this thing soon, I promise."

As he said this, Emily looked at him and "O" oppened her mouth: 'Wait, now, he was also calling me thing'. Unbelievable.'

"I'm not going anywhere…" Vicky said, arms crossed.

She was curious about what Emily wanted so bad to talk to him.

"Fuck, you two!" He was very angry now.

"Vicky, please, this is a matter of work. I'll be there in a minute, please…"

The bitch slammed her heels to the room, Emily said:

"Derek, you make me sick…" Disgusted face.

"I do not give a damn what you think." He didn't care to look at her.

"You know what I more wanted now? That Penelope was here…. just to see the big son of a bitch you are. I'm pretty sure the love she feels for you would end very quickly."

Now he looked at her and:

"Feel free to go get her, I already had fucked with two women at the same time before; with three then, that would be great!"

Emily without thinking flew with her right arm to slap him in the face, but Derek was faster and stronger and he grabbed her arm in the air. He kept holding her arm for a while, and he squeezed strong her arm, as if he wanted to say: 'you will feel my strength.' They exchanged glances deep challenging.

"You're hurting me ..." She said firmly.

There was a huge tension in the air. Their faces were very close now. Still holding her arm, he said;

"Between pain and nothing, what do you choose"...

When he said this, Emily could smell alcohol.

"Serious, Derek, you are hurting me..." Tears forming in her eyes. More of hate than of pain.

And then, finally, he released her arm.

"How could you do this to Penelope, Derek? you knew that she loves you, dammit! How could you use her that way? As you use these hoes which is there in your bedroom? You know that Penelope is not like these women. She is Penelope, the sweetest person on the planet. How you could play with her feelings like this?"

"That day... just happened...it was out of my control"

"Well, considering the scene I just saw here, I think you have no control over your penis even".

"Derek, just give her a chance. Just give you two a chance..."

"Again, like a said before, why is so easy for you ask me to give her a chance when you didn't do it when I asked for?"

"Because I was, and I am, pretty sure about my feelings; and it's pretty clear that you are not."

"Since when did you become loving counselor?"

"I'm still a profiler, please... You know Derek, men are so stupid, if you were so in love with me as you keep saying, you would not fall into bed with any woman who appeared in front of you... Anyway, I just wish you could see the wonderful woman who loves you... Love does not knocks on our door everyday, and it is knocking on your door, and you're wasting it."

"Penelope is more like a sister to me..."

"Oh please... I didn't know you used to fuck with your sisters..."

Morgan gave an annoyed look for Emily, she can not speak like this about his sisters.  
"Morgan, please, I have to go now... I have a family, that I love, waiting for me. Do me a favor, when you are fucking that bitch up there, try to remember who you're thinking about and look to inside your heart the answers you so much are looking for..."

Emily got home after two o'clock in the morning. Hotch was awake in his room, waiting for her.

"I'm sorry... it took longer than I thought."

"You will tell me where you were?"

"Yeah, but not now ... right now I think we have better things to do than talk huh ..."

And she was sticking her daring hand between his legs. It was a very effective way to shut up a man.

Morgan was there, fucking the bitch, and thinking ... thinking about ...

**ok guys, I'll clarify some things about this fic, things that will never change:**  
**1 - Emily loves Aaron.**  
**2 - Aaron loves Emily.**  
**3 - Penelope loves Morgan.**  
**4 - Morgan's womanizing (just like on the show).**

**The question is: Morgan will stop being a womanizer and commit himself? **  
**There is a wedding coming up...**


	25. Chapter 25

**I want to thank you for all the comments. They mean a lot to me. **

**I DON'T OWN CRIMINAL MINDS, EMILY PRENTISS, AARON HOTCHNER, AND NOBODY ELSE.**

Hotchner family was spending the day at the park with the kids. Jack was playing in the park slide, the twins were in their strollers and Emily and Hotch watching Jack from afar, sitting on the grass.

"So, are you gonna tell me where you have been last night?"

Emily took a deep breath.

"Why is this so important, why you can not just trust me..."

"…My wife left our home around midnight and returns almost three in the morning, and I have no right to know where she was?"

"It's not about right ... Aaron it's complicated ..."

"Tell me."

"Okay, but you have to promise me you will not do anything and you'll act like you don't know anything and will not harm anyone".

"You know I can't do it; and I never harm anyone; people harm themselves by their own actions"...

Emily didn't like the answer, but she knew; from an Aaron Hotchner she could not expect anything different. Even scared (more about to harm her friends than herself), she said:

"I went to Morgan's ..."

"What?"

"I had to talk to him about Garcia ..."

"What about her?...

"Something she told me and JJ, that involves Morgan and I could not wait to talk to him about it".

"What is it?"

"Aaron…. It….It's a private matter between them…."

"Well, if it's private, if it's between them, what did **YOU** went to do there?

Emily took a deep breath again.

"Because she shared something important to me and I had to try to do something for her…. Aaron…I'm her friend…I'm their friend…. you are their boss. I don't think she would want me to share this with you... I'm sorry"…

"Emily, is there anything I need to know?" Almost whispering, that penetrating intimidating look.

'Fucking hell. What a situation…' Emily thought.

"I think… this… will not affect their work at BAU; so… I think… there is nothing that you should know."

Sure Hotch didn't like her answer. But he remained quiet. Like, there should be no secrets between them, after all, that is how a couple works, right; but if she wanted things work like this. Let's leave it at that.

Emily went to the car to feed Thomas that was crying a lot and change his diaper. Hotch stayed there sat on the grass watching Jack play on the playground, and taking care of Paget, who was in the stroller.

Suddenly, a familiar voice, dressed in her gym clothes, surprised him:

"Hi Aaron!" Very happy and bouncy.

He stood up quickly.

"Hi Beth!"

She took a good look at him:

"You look great! How's Jack?"

"Oh.. You too! He's playing…. Right over there ..."

"Look at him… how he grew up!"

"Yeah!"

Only now, Hotch realized that his daughter was grumbling in the stroller. He turned to catch her in his arms.

Only now she noticed that a tiny girl mumbling in the stroller belonged to him.

Beth made the best face of astonishment that she could have done.

"Wow. Who is this?

"This is Paget, my daughter!"…

"Your…. **daughter**?" She almost drowned.

"Yeah!" Showing happiness but embarrassed by the situation.

"I didn't know… that you…. had got…. married"…. Total disappointment.

"It all happened so fast"… Hotch replied, holding his daughter in his arms.

"I see… she so beautiful…(Beth tickled on little girl's belly)… congratulations….well, I gotta go…it was good to see you ... see you all ... bye…" Total disappointment again. She wanted, literally, running away from there.

"Bye, bye…"

After about ten minutes, Emily returned to find her husband, who was with a tearful and hungry baby in his arms. Emily grabbed the girl and took her to the car to feed and change her diapers, leaving Thomas on his father arms.

Beth was just watching from afar as well. She was very curious to know who was the lucky one. Women do it all the time.

Near the end of the afternoon, the babies were sleeping in the stroller; Emily and Hotch lying in the grass, watching Jack playing. They had already eaten, talking, running, and done things that families do together. The day was ending, Hotch yelled at Jack, calling to go away, the boy came running.

"Daddy, can I have an ice cream before we go?"

"Just because you were very obedient today, you can ..."

"Thanks, Daddy."

Hotch bought one ice cream for the boy and one for himself. Emily didn't want. They were going back to the car.

Hotch finished his ice cream, put things in the car and he was driving home.

Jack, who was seat on the backseat, put his head between his father and Emily seats and:

"What did Beth speak to you, dad?"

Emily automatically looked at Hotch, surprised face, frowning, mouth a little oppened, eagerly waiting for his answer.

"Nothing special Jack…. she just came to say hello..."

Emily was getting annoyed.

"Why she didn't wait to play with me. I saw her playing with Paget"...

Emily opened her mouth "O"; she became even more upset; throwing questioning glances to Hotch.

"She was in a hurry… but she left a loving kiss for you, buddy…"

Moments of silence.

"So would you not gonna tell me?"

"There isn't nothing important to tell, Em".

"Your ex scratching for you and my **daughter** and I didn't have to know?"

"Since when we say everything to each other? As far as remember It's all about trust."

Emily took a look to him: "O". He looked back to her and:

"You just have to trust me…". He said, sarcastically, muttering.

Saying that last sentence, he looked at her to see her get a taste of her own poison.

She returned his gaze, more or less like this:

'Okay, I got it... but we will not discuss it here in front of children'… She thought.

This was an advantage to be married with profilers; a big part of the words were already understood without being spoken.

They went rest of the way home in silence. Arriving home, Emily was dealing with children's bath and Hotch locked himself in his office to review some cases. Emily gave the kids baths, served dinner for Jack, put the twins to sleep, Jack was watching cartoons on TV. She was really tired.

Knock, Knock. She knocked on the office door.

"Come in".

"Hey, I put the babies to sleep, Jack is watching TV; …. you mind staying with the Baby Alarm only while I bathe, I'm needing to take a long bath" ...

"Ok."

She handed him the alarm and left, closing the door. She stayed for half an hour in the hot tub. Still in her bathrobe, she went downstairs and Hotch was still in his office.

Knock, Knock. She knocked on the office door.

"Come in".

"I came to get the alarm ..."

"Here"…

She was leaving the room and:

"Jack is sleeping in front of the TV, he must be really tired; could please take him to bed?"

"I'm going"…

Emily then went to her bedroom.

After a long time, Hotch put Jack to bed and went to his room. He entered his bedroom and went straight to the bathroom to shower.

Emily was sitting comfortably in her bed, flipping through a magazine.

Hotch emerged from the bathroom in his pajamas, lay beside her.

"Aaron, we need to talk."

"I'm all ears."

"I got the message you sent me in the car… I know that there should be no secrets between us; it happens that what I was resolving at Morgan's is not **my** secret, but it was all about him and Penelope."

"Starting from the point that you're my wife and you went there, it also involves you… and me. Not to mention the fact that they are my subordinates. There are rules of relationship, dating at BAU; rigid rules. If this 'bomb' burst, who do you think will get screwed? My ass! And I would like to have a bit of support from my wife…. But she happens to be more worried about her friends than about me."

'Ok, he's right'. Emily thought.

"They slept together. But it was just sex. Morgan was drunk; Garcia told me…. and I had to go there to defend her. He could not has done this to her. But as far as I know, they are not in a relationship. You can rest assured about that."

"I can keep my eyes tightly closed as long as it does not affect their work'.

"It will not. I'm sure".

"How are you feeling about it?"

"I'm really sad. I love them both. If I could not give him what he wanted, I wanted it to be Garcia. She loves him. And I know how much he's lost in his feelings, and I know he wants to stop this history of jumping from bed to bed, but after yesterday, from what I saw there, I don't know anything else. Just know that I will no longer intrude anymore. I have you and my children to worry about."

After a little while, Hotch told her:

"Thank you for telling me"…

"I'll never do anything that could harm you, Aaron…Never!"

Hotch pulled her into a long, passionate kiss.

Still in his mouth, Emily said:

"The next time that glue woman comes next to you or my children, I'll kill her" ...

They laughed. Of course she was joking.

**Folks, I've got two more chapters almost ready. The baptism and the wedding. I just want an opinion of you. I wrote a dark chapter for our happy family. It's a small tragedy that happens before the wedding. It has nothing to do with betrayal. But I still don't know if I put it in the story, or go straight to marriage. What do you think? Help me please… Thks…**


	26. Chapter 26

**I OWN NOTHING OF THIS**

The twins were now almost 8 months old. It was the day of their baptism. It was a Sunday morning. Emily and Hotch had organized a small ceremony at their home garden. There were Penelope and Rossi to baptize little Paget, and Reid and JJ to baptize little Thomas. Also were there Will, Henry, Emily's parents, the priest who would perform the baptism and some friends of them.

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday. All of them were already in the garden; Emily was in her bedroom, finishing to tidying the babies.

The twins were on her big bed. Emily wore Thomas with a white jumpsuit with small details of light blue and a white cap. She was finishing tidying the Paget, who was wearing a white dress with light pink details. She was putting the bow on Paget's head when her cell phone rang. She looked at the photo on the phone, bit her lips, she thought for a moment before answer it.

"Hi." Dryly.

"Hi... Emily... look...I… I'm sorry for not being there today..."

"That's ok, Derek..."

"I... I just can't... It's not about your baby ..."

"That's ok ... I know Derek. I understand..."

"And I want to apologize for hurting you that day, your arm and everything...I can't stop thinking about what I did..."

"mmmmm... and... I...I want to apologize for called you son of a bitch... I'm really sorry..."

"That's Okay. I deserved."

Moments of silence.

"So... that's it... Have a beautiful day"...

"I will. You too."

"Bye"...

They hung up.

Emily paralyzed for a few moments, she was really quite uncomfortable with the whole situation. She tried not to think too much about the situation, but damn! Morgan was her friend since forever; partner of all hours, and at such an important moment in her life, he once again would not be able to be there, and it had become a habit. She came back to reality only when she realized that Paget was with the almost entire child's hairbrush in her mouth. She quickly removed the brush from her daughter hands.

"Oh...Paget, don't drool on your dress... sweetie, let mommy clean you..."

Emily finished tidying the children and called Hotch:

"Hey, can you come up and help me with the kids?"

"I'm going."

Hotch and Emily then went down with the kids for the garden. The priest began the ceremony.

JJ was holding Thomas in her arms, along with Reid. Penelope was holding Paget in her arms along with Rossi. Everyone was gathered around them, and the priest began to speak:

"We are all gathered here for the baptism of these two angels that God sent to this family. When God sends a child into this world is because he still trusts in humanity. And if he sent two children at once, it's because He is very confident in you two (He looked to Hotch and Emily). May God can keep this family together. May God preserve the love between this couple and among all members of this family; May always have peace and harmony among them all."

The priest went close to JJ and Reid:

"I baptize you, Thomas Hotchner, so you can grow up healthy, you can be a good man, you may always know to distinguish good from bad and choose the right path, which will take you back to Christ; in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen."

The priest came close to Penelope and Rossi, who were holding a small Paget.

"I baptize you, Paget Hotchner, so you can grow up healthy, you can be a good woman, you may always know to distinguish good from bad and choose the right path, which will take you back to Christ; in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen."

Emily's eyes were brimming with emotion.

She went quickly embracing her children. They all greeted happily.

The whole ceremony was very beautiful and witty. There was also plenty of food, drink and cupcakes. Henry and Jack were running around the garden all the time, and the cat, hating, of course!

"Congratulations, Emily!"

"Thanks, Mother!"

"The ceremony is very beautiful. Your children are very beautiful and healthy. I can see that you were able to make good choices for them."

Emily just smiled back.

"Emily, before your wedding, I need a meeting with you."

Emily looked at her mother in surprise. Interrogation on her face.

"Yes, a meeting. I want to transfer some real estate to your name. Now, you have two small children to care about of; and I think you won't go back to work so soon. Then you can use the rental income of the properties."

Emily: "O". Almost speechless.

"You don't need to do this, mother. I have my savings; in addition, I rented my apartment where I lived before. Also, Hotch has a very good salary at BAU, so I think he can maintain his own family"...

"Emily, the women from our family never depended on man...I taught you this...".

Emily "O" even more:

"Yeah... But…mother...I... don't depend on him...these are his children too... he has his responsibilities..."

"Anyway, Emily, the properties belong to our family for generations, you're my only daughter and I make a point of transferring everything in life for you".

Elizabeth took both hands of Emily, and gave two light slaps on top of her hands, as if to say: do not argue with Mom, and that's how it goes.

"If you want, Mom. We can talk about that later".

"Yes, this is why I asked for the meeting".

"Ok mother. If you'll excuse me, I'll talk to my guests".

"Ok."

She turned and gave her mother a hug, and looked into the face of her mother:

"Thanks, Mom."

She saw that Penelope was sitting with JJ at a table. She went to talk to her friends.

Hotch was in the midst of the garden, chatting with Rossi.

"So, I see that things between you and Emily are going very well."

"Yes, we are doing really good".

"Everything has its own time to happen'.

"When I first met her, I know that something born inside me, but I had to deny it, for obvious reasons...but I have to confess that she came into my room holding that box, I thought wow! I could barely stand..."

"I always knew".

"You're kidding".

"No. I always knew there was a feeling between you two. I just wasn't sure if two people so alike like you two would get carried away by your feelings".

"Do you think we are alike?"

"It's pretty obvious, Aaron..."

"How so?"

"You two are closed, introspective, show no feelings, stubborn, cold but intense..."

"Ok ok Dave, enough! stop profiling..." They laughed.

Emily was coming to the table to sit next to JJ and Penelope. JJ was holding Thomas e Penelope was holding Paget.

"Emy Oh, I'm so in love with Paget!"

"Oh Pen, me too!" Emily answered.

"I have rights on her, now."

"Whatever you want!"

Moments of silence. Emily spent her tongue on her lips:

"Morgan called me"...

"He did?"

"Jack, hey...Jack." Emily shouted, interrupting the talk with Penelope and JJ.

"Come here, Jack; you too Henry ..."

The boys were up to her. Emily was sitting, so that she can stay well ahead of face to face to talk to Jack.

"Jack, we've already talked about it, you can't pull Sergio's tail, he doesn't like it. It hurts him...Just leave him alone, okay? There are so many things that you both can play, there are the playground, the tree house, soccer field, a basketball hoop, a swimming pool, not mention the thousand toys you have; so please leave him alone, ok?"

JJ gave only a reproachful look, which was soon understood by Henry.

"mmmhmmm". The boy agreed and they left running.

Penelope wanted to resume the conversation:

"So, Morgan called you?"

"Yeah... He wanted to apologize for not been here."

"He has a lot to apologize for"...Penelope said, more to herself than to Emily.

Emily thought about telling her that she had gone to Morgan's place that night when they went out; but tell her the whole story meant hurt Penelope even more, so she decided not to tell.

"You two haven't talked anymore?"

"Just about issues related to work."

"I'm so sorry". Emily lamented.

"You don't need to, Emily. Deep down I knew. He is not ready for anything serious. Reid told me."

"Reid?"

"On the plane, they were talking about books, and Morgan told him that he wasn't ready to get serious with anyone"...

"Oh"...

"That 'thing' wasn't supposed to happen. He was drunk. I think he drank all the whiskey bottle of Hotch's that day"... Penelope said, smiling bitterly.

"Have you regretted"? JJ asked.

"Because of the sex...no!... (Penelope decreased tone of voice to tell:) ... he is a god of the sex...; but because it shook the structure of our friendship. We have taken a very big step and now it has no way to come back to being how it was before and act as if nothing had happened. So because of that I regret"...

"It's a pity... because he's a good guy." Emily said.

"I know. I just don't know if I lose more time waiting for him... if I accept Kevin's proposal, or if I become a lesbian!"

They three laughed a lot about that. Emily was happy to see that her friend was able to overcome almost everything; but she was still sad for Morgan, he was supposed to be there!

The ceremony ended in the late afternoon. They all were gone. Emily looked after the children while Hotch took care of organizing the house, put things in place, lock gates and doors, etc, and put the cat into the house.

Hotch went to his office, at home, check the stack of cases that JJ had brought. He stayed there about two hours. Emily has three children in the bath. Then she put Jack to sleep, he was very tired, he had run and played all day with Henry.

Emily was in the twin's bedroom breastfeeding Thomas. Hotch went up to his bedroom, he realized that Emily wasn't there and he went look for her, of course; babies' room. He stopped at the door, he noticed her breastfeeding for a while. He came in, sat down in the chair beside her. She smiled embarrassed for him. As if she knew what was coming.

"Emily, you know you don't need to do that anymore, right?"

"The doctor said I can; to intercalary breastmilk with other foods now" ...

"The doctor said that you should intercalary with other foods so they can wean the breast". He corrected her; eyebrow raised.

"I still have milk, Aaron, a lot!"

"You have because they suck, and it stimulates. It's been two months since they eat baby food and other things…You need to stop ..."

"I tried, Aaron. I tried. But they don't accept the baby bottle. Then they started to cry a lot rejecting the bottle, I get desperate..." She was getting nervous.

"It's pretty normal they reject the baby bottle, they are not used to it; but we can buy others and others, try other bottles, until they adapt. I'll help you with that. But you need to cut that bond".

Herein, Emily was already in tears.

"You know you need to do that".

"I know. But I can't. They are so small…."

"I'll help with that, I promise".

Hotch stood up, planted a kiss on her forehead and went to their bedroom to shower.

Emily looked right into the face of her little boy in her arms, he was sucking greedily. She spoke softly to him:

"You heard the dad, right?"

The little boy stopped sucking on time and looked deeply into the eyes of his mother, as if he understood.

"Okay, sweetie, mommy precious thing... you can suck up until when you want, and this will be our little secret, ok?" Emily whispered close to her baby's face.

Soon, the baby slept and Emily had already breastfed Paget, so she went to her room.

Hotch was already in his pajamas, lying.

Emily lay beside her husband. They talked a bit about the ceremony. Emily told him about the talk she had with her mother.

"Now we have to mark the wedding date."

"Yeah, but it depends more on you than me; depends on your job."

"Yeah, I know...I'll check on it."

They lay facing each other. Hotch caressing Emily's face with the back of his hand.

"You'll wear a white dress for me ..."

"No! I don't think it's necessary ..."

"Of course it is necessary ..."

"I never imagined myself wearing wedding dress ... I think... I'd feel... ridiculous, Aaron, please don't ask me to do this ..."

"All right, you don't need to wear a wedding dress. But it may be a white dress, beige."

"Ok, That I think I can do...I'll think about it..."

"And then we'll see a place for us to spend our honeymoon. What do you think about Greece?"

The expression on Emily's face darkened.

"Oh... Aaron, I don't think it would be a good idea we travel, the children are still too young for such a long trip."

"Emily is our honeymoon, just the two of us, me and you!"

"You don't think I'll travel to the other side of the world and leave my babies here?"

Hotch frowned.

"Emily, they'll be fine... Considering it'll be only about ten days ..."

"I've never been away from them! I can't see myself far from them..."

"You think it's healthy to create them so dependent on you?"

Emily "O".

"They are just babies! We already live together... we can travel when they were older..."

Hotch didn't conform, but he was too tired to argue.

"Okay, we talk about this later. Have a good night".

He kissed her forehead and turned away to sleep.

The babies were now almost ten months. Hotch was working one case after another, without rest. He had not had a day off so they could organize the wedding. Emily had managed to cut the bond of breastfeeding. She had also hired a housekeeper to help her with the house chores. She had already bought the dress she would wear at her wedding and the clothes for the children; and a suit for Hotch. Hotch had also bought the alliances rings. The ceremony would be in the garden of their home. They had also chosen the menu and the godparents. After two months of uninterrupted work, Hotch was going to have a respite of ten days. They were going to take this time for the wedding. But the team was still in New York working on a complicated case.

They were in New York for three days already. It was a Wednesday afternoon. Emily had gone to fetch Jack at school. The twins were well behaved in the back seat, in their appropriated seats, along with Jack. Emily stopped at the gas station to refuel the car. She parked, the attendant came to meet her. She took the credit card to pay. The attendant said:

"Sorry ma'am, but our machine card is having problems, you're going to have to go to the counter to swipe the card."

"Oh... I can't... I'm here with three kids in the car..." Emily protested.

"Sorry ma'am, there is no other way... But I can keep an eye on them for you."

Emily looked at the back seat, into the face of children. She looked into the convenience store where she had to go, she thought, 'Well, is not that far'. She said:

"Jack, I'll be back in a minute, okay?"

Emily went to the counter with her heart in hand.

The counter was inside the convenience store, there was another exit on the other side of the store.

The girl cashier passed the card, and handed it back to Emily. She took two steps and felt a pipe in her back and a voice right next to her ear:

"You have two choices, dear Emily... we can go back to your car and give a way to eliminate those children of our way, and with that I have a biiiiiiiig experience and you know that; or… we can go straight to my car and it will be only between us. Make your decision now and walk directly to this, without fanfare. My car is over there..."

**Poor Emily. There will be some dark moments for her. Does someone on the team will be able to save her? Who is it?**


	27. Chapter 27

**I OWN NOTHING**

"You have two choices, dear Emily... we can go back to your car and give a way to eliminate those children of our way, and with that I have a biiiiiiiig experience and you know that; or… we can go straight to my car and it will be only between us. Make your decision now and walk directly to this, without fanfare. My car is over there..."

"What do you want? I…I give you everything you want"... Emily recognized him at the time.

The bastard laughed sarcastically:

"It is obvious that you'll give me what I want. But if we go to your car, we'll have to kill those three hindrances, is that what you want? "

"ok...ok... I'll go with you"... Emily was shaking.

The bastard went with Emily to his van, leaving behind three children alone in the car. He made Emily drive so he could keep the gun pointed at her. At one point of the road, he made her stop. He handcuffed and gagged Emily, and put her in the back of the van, so nobody could see her.

"Sorry I have to do that, my love, but it's just for a while… I'll take my time with you, honey. Neither I've to die after that. We'll have lots of fun together..."

Emily just cried, eyes with fear, thinking about the children.

At the gas station, everyone was looking for her, but the young man who had been taking care of children had not seen where Emily had gone. And who saw her leaving with the man thought they were together. So that didn't arouse anyone's attention. After half an hour, all they were looking for her. The babies were beginning to cry. The young man put his face into the car and asked Jack:

"Hey, don't you have a father?"

Jack startled, replied:

"He's working".

"Well kid, you'll have to call him. It seems that your mother disappeared"...

Jack took Emily's cell phone from her purse (She had left her purse there in the car; she had only taken the credit card with her.) and called his father. Hotch answered:

"Hey, Emily"...

"It's me daddy, Emy disappeared".

"Hi Jack, what do you mean... disappeared? Where are you?"

Hotch could hear babies crying in the background.

"We're here at the gas station and the babies are crying..."

"Jack, I need you to tell me exactly what's going on, right? Where is Emily?"

Jack started to panic and began to cry very much:

"Daddy, please" ... He really couldn't speak; he had already had his quota of trauma for a lifetime.

Hotch was getting very agitated and desperate.

"All right, Jack; is there any adult with you? Give him the phone..."

Jack handed the phone to the attendant.

"I'm Aaron Hotchner, I am the father of these children; please, I need you to tell me exactly what is going on."

"The ma'am went to the counter to pass the credit card and disappeared. She was taking too long, so I went over her and they told me that she had left with a man; she entered in the van and took off. But we can not stay here with these kids. You need to come pick them up."

Hotch couldn't think, he was desperate.

"I'm sending someone to pick them up. Her name is Penelope Garcia. Let just her pick the children, please."

"Ok."

The whole team was gathered at the police station and everyone realized the Hotch's agitated behavior. Rossi said:

"What happened?"

Hotch said while called Garcia:

"Something happened to Emily; …. Garcia, please, I need you to go with someone of BAU at this address I'm sending you. Garcia, is very important, my children are there, they are alone; I need you to do this now!"

"What happened to Emily?" JJ asked.

"I don't know yet; Dave, I need to go back to Quantico now. I need you to take care of everything here in this case…"

Everyone was stunned.

"You need me to go with you?" Morgan asked.

"I need you here helping in this case. All help is now very welcome, but I'm going alone for now, I wait for you guys there."

Hotch was back to Quantico, driving the SVU. He was the fastest he could. He went straight to the gas station. He talked with some people there, who told exactly what happened. He contacted police and summoned some people gave her the testimony about what had happened and tried to do the sketch of the man.

Then he went to BAU. Penelope was there with his children. She was in her office, helping the New York case when Hotch came.

"Daddy!" Jack ran into his father arms.

Penelope had managed to get the twins to sleep. Emily always carried the children's backpacks stocked. It was little more than eight hours PM.

"Garcia, thank you; any news?"

"No, sir; total silence about Emily. Children already ate. Emily's car is parked in the garage and her stuff is there, her purse, the children backpacks ..."

"Ok Garcia, thank you again. Jack; come here, I need to talk to you."

At the same time, Emily was still thrown in the back of the van, handcuffed and gagged. The psychopath was parked to check on Emily. He was driving for a long time; Emily could not see anything out there.

"My love, take it easy, we'll arrive soon at our destination. And then you'll be mine. I'm gonna show you exactly what you wanted so much to know... I can't wait…"

Emily had no more tears. She just prayed that Hotch had gone to fetch the children and that they were safe.

Hotch was trying to get Jack back in time to remember exactly what had happened. They went to his office. He put the boy seated, and sat right in front of him, holding his little hands. He looked right into his son eyes:

"Jack, I need you to help me buddy. Can you help me?"

"mhm" The boy nodded. The boy had a crying face.

Hotch started talking to him, very slowly.

"Emily went to get you at school; she arrived at the same time as ever?"

"I dunno, Daddy."

"What do you mean? …you don't know…"

"I never see the time she arrives. Whenever I get out of school, she is already there. She is always there."

"Ok. And you went to the car. Then what happened? Look Jack, it is very important that you remember everything, every single detail okay..."

"Ok daddy. Then, she got out of the car, she opened the car door for me, she gave me a kiss, she took my pack off my back and put in the trunk, she closed the door of the trunk and then closed my door and got into the car, and then we left."

"Ok Jack, very good. Very good. After that, where did you all go?

The boy thought for a moment.

"I asked if we could go get ice cream before heading home. But she said no, because you were not together, and she could not take care of the three of us alone".

"Was she different?"

"I think her hair was different".

"No, Jack. See, she was acting different? Angry or worried or sad or nervous?"

"No, Dad, we were singing a song that was playing on the radio. I think she was happy".

"Ok. Then, what?"

"After she parked at the gas station; the man didn't want to get her credit card, that's why she had to take the card away until then."

"Do you remember anything else?"

"I remember Emy saying that she had three children and could not go out the car, but the man said that she had to go. She said to me that she would be back in a minute…"

"This man stayed there after that, or he disappeared with her?"

"This man was that you spoke to on the phone daddy; he took care of us until Aunt Pen appear."

"I want you to tell me exactly the last thing you saw Emily do."

"I saw her get close to the counter to take the credit card."

Jack was tearful and demonstrated to be very bothered by the situation.

"Jack, didn't you see she come back from there?"

"No, daddy, sorry..."

"Alright Jack, you helped me a lot. You did an excellent job. If you remember something else, talk to daddy, ok? You are helping me solve this case, ok?"

Now the boy cried for real.

"I don't wanna help, daddy"...

"Why are saying that, Jack?"

"The last time I helped you on a case, mommy died…"

Now, the boy began to cry a lot. Hotch broke into thousand pieces; he took his son on his lap and hugged the boy. There were no words to answer that.

"Come in". Hotch responded to a knock on his office door, still with the boy on his lap.

"Excuse me, sir, but children don't stop crying, I've done everything, I gave a baby bottle, I changed diapers; it seems that they want mommy, or daddy ..."

Hotch thought: 'now I have three children crying a vanished wife. Cool'.

"I'll take them home and then I come back here. Any news about Emily, you call me, ok".

"Do you think she was kidnapped? Do you think they will ask for ransom?"

"I don't know, Garcia. I need to get these kids out of here".

Hotch took the children home, he called Jessica to stay there with the children, and asked for help from the housekeeper too.

He was putting Jack in bed:

"Daddy, Emy will not come back, just like mommy?"

Hotch was heartbroken. 'My God, I can't stand it!'

"I don't know buddy, we pray that she'll come back, right? Can you pray?"

"Mmhmm " Jack nodded.

Hotch returned to BAU, made contact with the local police; spent all information. Around four in the morning, Rossi called saying that the New York case had ended. The bandit had been captured and killed. So the team was returning to Quantico. Hotch was finished, he could barely speak, deep dark circles, eyes completely lifeless.

The day was dawning, around five thirty in the morning, the man stopped driving. He picked up Emily from the back of the van, blindfolded her, and took her into a cabin in the woods. He didn't want her to see where they were. For much of the time he drove for a dirt road, could be told that they were well within a forest. And he had spent almost all the time driving down the highway. Emily had no idea where they were.

At that same time, the team arrived at BAU. Rossi went straight talk to Hotch.

"Any news from Emily?"

"No."

"Hotch, I guess I have some bad news, I hope I'm wrong"... Rossi said.

Hotch just looked grieved to his friend.

"Karl Arnold vanished from prison."

Hotch thought for just a second.

"It's him. At the gas station, they said the man was redhead. It's him! It's him! I saw the way he spoke and looked at Emily when we went to talk to him in prison."

Hotch started to walk from one side to the other. He punched the glass table and shattered into a thousand pieces. He hurt his hand and it started to bleed; but he didn't care, he continued throwing everything that was in reach of his hands on the wall.

Rossi tried to calm him down without success. All they were in boardroom watching that scene. Hotch breaking into a thousand pieces. Really, he had no baggage of suffering, no longer had the strength to fight. For the first time in his life, he felt defeated, weak and powerless. He was in despair. Rossi managed to get him to sit. Everyone was crying silently, moved by the scene they had just seen, plus the Emily disappearance.

"Hotch, first we have to make sure if it is him. Then, we'll redeem his profile, we'll remake it, and you are going to bring her back"...

"…After what, Dave? How many hours he is with her already? Can you imagine what she is going through right now in this very moment by the hands of that wacky psychopath?" Hotch said, amid his tears.

"What is important is to bring her back alive. You need to stand strong, for your children, for her." Rossi continued.

"At least we know his motivations regarding Emily are different from motivations about the earlier crimes. In order and perform his fantasies, he wants Emily alive, so he must keep her alive as long as he thinks it's possible. This is a factor in our favor ..." Reid noted.

Everyone looked at Reid with a look of disapproval. It was the wrong time to fire the talk that he must be raping Emily. All of them already knew what his intentions were. Reid shut up, embarrassed.

In the cabin:

Karl put Emily sitting on an old wooden bed, and chained her by her feet in bed. There was a big chain so she could move, but she could not get out of bed. He removed the blindfold her. He sat in a chair facing her:

"Hi, Emily. How long!"

Emily's eyes were swollen from crying, and completely lifeless.

"What will you do to me?"

"Oh Emily, don't you know? I can't believe ... Now… you hurt me. Don't you remember our flirting? You yourself said you were fascinated about me, it's time to prove…"

Emily felt shivers of panic all over her body and she was feeling sick hearing his words. She thought to herself, 'just think, Emily, just think what you can say to him to deceive him, you're a profiler, just think ..."

He got up and sat on the bed beside her, very close to her. She was handcuffed with his hands behind her, and feet chained to bed.

"Do you remember Emily, when you asked me what I did with those girls? I said I could show you ... I could show you exactly ... Now I can show you…"

"That case ended. I don't need to know anything more".

Emily was wearing jeans and a white shirt buttoned at the front. As he spoke, she looked down. He was still sitting right next to her in bed. He opened two buttons of her shirt. She started crying with rage.

"Calm down, Emily. We have much time. I'll wait for you to get used to my presence."

He said that as he passed his hand on her thigh, over the jeans.

"Karl, let me go, I have two babies and a little boy to take care… please. I won't tell anyone what happened and you can go away. I promise".

"Emily, you forgot what I did with those families? I advise you not to make your children become a burden to us. We'll take our time; nothing will stop us, my love."

Emily wanted to vomit.

"You know, Emily, I would love it to happen naturally, I would really appreciate if you facilitate things for us; I wouldn't like to have to hurt you." He said it lightly stroking her face.

She, trying to depart her face from him, said: "You sick son of a bitch, I'll never going to do that!" Emily screamed in his face.

He was very angry now. He grabbed her by her shoulders and he lay Emily on the bed and lay on top of her. She had her hands chained behind and feet chained in bed, so there was a nothing she could do against him, there was no way she could fight against him. With all his body weight on top of her skinny body and her hands back; he tried to kiss her on the mouth by force. He still had that disgusting beard, and when he tried to stick his tongue into her mouth, she vomited, emptying the entire contents of her stomach. He rose at the same time, he became very angry, and he went to the sink and filled a bucket of water and threw it on her face, wetting the entire top of her body.

He grabbed Emily's chin tightly and said:

"You just postponed our night of love, but you can get it well etched in your mind, Emily: it **will** happen; your Aaron Hotchner might even find you, and **maybe** you can even be alive, but you will already have been mine."

And then he went out and left her there alone in the cabin.

At BAU

The team had rescued his profile. They took a picture of him with a beard and without beard to people at the gas station see it, and they confirmed that it was really him. They hadn't plenty to start the investigation. Only that he drove a beige van. Hotch had sent JJ and Reid to investigate how he got out of prison. They discovered that he was missing for twenty days already. Hotch concluded that since then he should be watching Emily.

The team has been following the clues provided at the places where he had gone. But it was very difficult because he was smart. He took a road that had many different routes.

Hotch decided they would follow all routes to find out where he had gone.

It had been now three days since the team was looking for Emily. There was many teams working on this case; searching for her. But they had no new leads. It was very difficult. Hotch was devastated, finished. He looked like he had aged fifty years in these three days. Many teams were taking turns between them, and they were working continuously in search of Emily. Hotch was the only one who had not gone home any day. He was there for four days straight. It was the two AM Monday; Rossi was there because it was his turn, he found Hotch in his office completely devastated.

Rossi entered, looked at his friend:

"Aaron, we are gonna find her..."

"I don't know, Dave, I don't know if I can survive another stroke of fate" ...

"Aaron, I'm sorry, but you must think about your children. I know how hard it is, but what I know from Emily; I believe she knows how much she can trust you to take care of your children. But I ask you: have you gone to see them?"

Hotch had his head down, shedding tears without stopping.

"I know how difficult everything must be for you. But think about your children, who are without a mother and without a father. Why don't you go home to stay with them for a while, and we take care of everything here, and when we have any new facts I, personally, communicate you..."

"I wonder what that crazy bastard is doing to her, Dave."

"Ok, I understand, but it won't help in the case. It serves only to torture you further ... And we don't know for sure what is really happening."

And then Hotch went to his house. He wanted to spend some hours with his children. He arrived at his house, went to see Jack, who was sleeping in his bedroom, Jessica was sleeping there with him. And then he went to twins' bedroom, he looked to the babies sleeping peacefully in their cribs. He sat on a chair where Emily used to breastfeed the babies. He sobbed uncontrollably, without stopping. He was the desperation in person. He lifted his head to catch some air. He looked up from the table where Emily had placed various picture frames with family photos. There were several pictures with all them. There was a lovely photo of her with a wonderful smile and a baby on each arm. Hotch took this photo in his hand, began stroking her face on the photo, he spoke softly, 'hold on, Emily, my love, we are gonna find you.' He looked at the door and Jack was standing there.

"Hi, daddy." The boy said shyly; he was very sad.

"Hi Jack, come here".

The boy went and Hotch hugged his son tightly. They got that way for a few minutes, and Hotch planting kisses on the boy's head.

The boy looked at his father and:

"I missed you…"

"I missed you too, Jack…"

"You have not found Emy, huh, daddy?"

"Not yet, Jack. But we will!"

Hotch took the boy back to sleep, went to his own bedroom, took a shower, but he was not able to sleep. He came down, prepared a drink for himself, and waited for the dawn. He wanted to see the babies and then back to BAU.

In the cabin, Karl had tortured Emily only verbally, citing every detail of what he wanted to do with her. Emily was getting weak and she had refused to eat or drink during the four days she was there. Other than that, she had dried the clothes on her own body. And there are days she was lying on the mattress wet.

Karl had loosened the cuffs of her hands, but she was still shackled by hands and feet in bed.  
It was six pm Monday. Karl sat on the bed next to Emily, who was lying down, curled up (she was very cold, her lips were purple, contrasting with ultra pale skin), he put his hands on her face, turning her chin so she could look at him:

"It's time, my love."

Emily raised her eyes to look at him. She was motionless.

"You'll get up, I'll help you. You are going to take a shower and look good smelling and clean for me."

He licked his own lips and made a pervert face as he spoke to her. Emily started to cry, as if she still had tears.

She thought to herself, 'Aaron, please, I need you, I need you now'...

**Does the team will arrive on time? We'll see in the next chapter, which is almost ready.**


	28. Chapter 28

**I OWN NOTHING**

**This chapter will be a little violent and sad.**

* * *

She thought to herself, 'Aaron, please, I need you, I need you now'...

He was opening the buttons of her blouse, one by one slowly, and looking straight into her face to see her reactions. He opened her whole blouse, revealing her beige bra she was wearing; he frowned when he saw the scar (Ian Doyle's gift). He looked back at her face.

"What they had done to you, my dear?"

Emily just stared at him. Look of fear mixed with hatred.

"Aaron Hotchner is even a worthless to care for you. I've always been right about fathers: they are not competent to protect their families".

"He is an excellent father, he is a great husband, and he'll catch you…. again!"

He gave a sarcastic smile at her.

"Let's see, dear, let's see".

"He was unable to save his first wife. And he'll only save you if **I** allow that, because the only thing that prevents me from kill you right now is because I'm not finished with you yet. Otherwise, you'd be already dead... and you know that…"

"You can kill me right now. I trust him to take care of our children, thus I don't need to stay even a minute closer to you..." Her voice was getting weaker.

"Oh Emily, you really hurt me that way…"

Emily remembered all about his profile. He killed the whole family but before that he used spend time with them, he used to tie the father and the father had to watch his own family living with him showing that he was a good father. Then she tried to make him see that he wasn't that good; trying to ruin his fantasy, and that way he could not perform his illusions. She was trying everything to destabilize him.

* * *

At BAU

Hotch could not stay home, then he was back to BAU. He received a called from Morgan.

"Hotch, there was a robbery at a convenience store down the road from Danville, Indiana, the suspect was ruddy, bearded, and driving a light colored van."

"It must be him, I'm going. Wait for me at police station."

They all gathered at the police station in that city. They found that what was stolen were food and groceries. They did a scan to find out where he fueled the van and finally came to the conclusion that the suspect and Emily should be nearby. And if the suspect had stole food, it would be to stay hidden somewhere and not to be driving aimlessly. They decided to invade forests across the region; also because they had found out an important evidence: Karl had stole candles; which they considered a big clue because it meant that they were hidden in a place that didn't had electricity.

* * *

In the cabin

It was already night, there was no electric power there, only a few candles light.

Karl was there taking piece by piece of Emily's clothes, she still lying; he was using a scissors to rip the clothes off of her body and torture her psychologically.

"You know, Emily, I'm gonna miss you. These days that we live here were very good to me."

"…unfortunately I can't say the same."

He looked at her and smiled bitterly.

She was only in her panties and bra. He began to pass the scissors lightly on her skin uncut; he put a part of scissors in her panties, as if he was going to cut it. He looked at the reaction on her face. She looked at him.

"Please don't." She murmured. She showed a lot of fear and fragility through her eyes.

That situation is not even remotely resembled the episode Ian Doyle in her life. With Ian was different, even though she wasn't yet in love with him when she gave herself to him for the first time, the situation was quite different: she was pretending to be someone else, she was there by her own choice, she had sex with him without being in love but she felt a big crush on him, sex without love was in the beginning, so it was like when she was in college with some fellow; Ian was very different from Karl: he was handsome, he was powerful, a criminal, yes, but by his own beliefs and purposes; he wasn't just a crazy, a crazy psychopath, like Karl; plus she fell madly in love with Ian; but Karl she hated and disgusted.

"See Emily… how your Hotchner is an incompetent. Where's he now?" Karl scoffed as he cut Emily's panties.

Emily began to shed tears. She was weak, almost five days without eating or drinking anything.

And he ripped her panties. There was only candlelight, it was dark but he could see her body.

"You're much more beautiful than any dream I could have."

Emily then shrugged her legs trying to protect herself. He just laughed; he really seemed to be enjoying it a lot. He cut her bra. He looked at her entire body up and down:

"You are so beautiful"...

He told her to go take a shower. He threw a towel at her. For her, it was an opportunity to try to escape, so she went. But the bathroom was there in the same room, there was no door. He saw her disappointment and laughed. She turned on the shower while thinking, the water was very cold. She was very cold. But she needed to gain time.

"I'm right here Emily, don't try anything stupid."

She was still chained by her feet, but he had loosened the chain a little more so she could reach to the bathroom. He sat looking at her, the front door was well locked, and the windows were all closed, 'what are my chances to escape', she thought as she took a bath. She was trying to profile the place but her mind was failing.

'Aaron…. Where are you?...That son of a bitch, bastard, pervert, you won't put these filthy hands on me. I'm gonna find a way to get out of here; even if I have to kill you'.

Emily wept with hatred; while she was trying to keep the control. But she was too weak to do something against him.

"Make yourself very clean for me, Emily". The bastard shouted for her.

Emily wanted to vomit, but there was nothing in her stomach.

Meanwhile, search teams were scouring every forest of INDIANA, but Emily and Karl were in ILLINOIS; still a bit far. Hotch decided that all forests would be searched and the starting point would be Indiana. That is, they were invading the forests, but they were still very far to find her.

"Emily, you're taking too long, my dear".

'Son of a bitch; bastard!' Emily thought.

"Will I have to enter there to pick you up? I would do it with pleasure, my love…" The bastard shouted for her.

Emily felt a very strong dizziness. She almost lost consciousness and she was anchoring on the bathroom wall and holding on tap, to not fall on the floor, while water fell on her body.

She was in the shower for half an hour already; Karl was getting angry and impatient.

"Emily, honey, I'll give you another minute to get out of there."

The minute passed and he appeared in the bathroom. Emily was wrapped in a towel and holding a large part of the chain in her hands. When Karl went to pull her, she put the chain around his neck, it was just pulling hard, with force. But: where's her force? She had no more. She was exhausted and weak; so she fell on the floor. Karl angrily pulled her onto the bed and fell on top of her and did what he wanted to do more.

He handcuffed her in bed, and he raped her for a long time. Emily closed her eyes and tried to think about the smile of her children, while he was on top of her. She had nausea, she wanted to vomit. Despite the cold she felt, she was sweating cold. Suddenly, she no longer felt her body, she no longer felt anything; she surrendered and was paralyzed, just shedding tears without emotion.

He kept saying to her, while he raped her slowly:

"See, Emily, where is your man? It's just you and me. Can you feel **my** power, Emily? Where is your Hotchner now?"

He raped Emily for the most part of the night. Before dawn, he got up, got dressed. He threw a towel over her body. Emily felt lifeless. It was like she was soulless. He picked up his few belongings, came close to her and said, stroking her hair:

"I loved our night, dear, it's a pity, but I have to go. Actually, I should kill you. But I won't do that with my own hands… ('You killed me already.' Emily thought)… I'll leave you here, you'll stay here until someone find you; or if no one find you, I think you still have a few days of life. Sorry, but I can't stay with you anymore."

And the bastard's gone, leaving Emily handcuffed in bed and with her feet chained; completely naked, just a towel barely placed over her body.

She stayed there for three days more, completing eight days without eating or drinking anything. She was now completely unconscious.

The search for her would not stopped.

Garcia had got one precious new information and called Hotch:

"Hotch, there is a cabin that his father used to take him when he was a child. I spoke with his ex wife. She confirmed but she doesn't know where it is, she never went there, but I managed to get some information from some relatives of him and, anyway, I'm sending the exact location. It's located around Grand Prairie, Illinois."

"Thank you, Garcia. We're going."

Hotch was panicking, too afraid of what he would find. Would they finally find her? Is she still alive? There were so many questions he wanted to know. Rossi saw his restlessness:

"You want us to do that, Aaron?"

"No, Dave. I make a point of going."

"So, let's go."

Emily was in the cabin for seven days in a row, adding one more day and one night she was traveling with him. She was eight days without eating or drinking. She was tied, handcuffed in bed without move her arms and legs. She was unconscious. Her body was paralyzed and cold.

In the late afternoon of a Thursday, the team arrived at the cabin, the place had a difficult access; it was still daylight. All of them with guns pointed to the cabin. They realized that there was a recent drive by car there because of the marks on the grass. They didn't see the van parked there, so they thought about three possibilities:

1 - They weren't there anymore;  
2 - They were there, but he had gotten rid of the van;  
3 - He had ran away and left Emily there.

They decided to invade. Morgan was near the front door, before he breaks it, he looked at Hotch.

"I'll go first". Hotch said.

Morgan stepped away for his boss to pass.

Hotch realized that wasn't necessary to break anything. The door was unlocked. He entered with his gun in hand, after a few steps, he saw Emily handcuffed in bed. He, immediately, dropped the gun and ran toward her. He realized that she was naked, so he covered her with the towel. Morgan searched for Karl inside the cabin. He found nothing.

"Emily, my love, it's me, talk to me ..." Hotch spoke very close to her holding her face with his hands. But she was unconscious.

"Hotch"... Morgan called, handing him a note.

It was a note that Karl had left for him:

_Aaron Hotchner: she is really hot. But I doubt she'll want you again, after this experience with me_.

Hotch thumped the table.

"Son of a bitch. Bastard!"

Emily was quickly taken to the ambulance. Hotch, of course, went with her. The rest of the team focused on rescuing the bastard.

Rescuers took Emily by helicopter straight to Quantico. Hotch was together all the time. As he waited for the first attendances at the hospital, he called Jack and Emily's parents to let them know that she was found alive.

There were already many searches team hunting the fugitive; so the whole team decided to go back to Quantico and stand beside Hotch to support him. It was three in the morning when a doctor came to give news about Emily.

"I would like to speak to someone of her family."

"We live together." Hotch spoke.

They went to doctor office to talk.

"She is in a coma due to dehydration, she lost vital signs from her main organs and we are trying to recover them. Right now, she is breathing with the aid of equipment. The situation is serious. Every her internal organs are not working alone. If she stayed there for one or two days more, she probably would be dead now".

Every word the doctor spoke was like a heavy hammered on Hotch's head. And the doctor continued:

"I'm sorry, Mr. Hotchner, but I have to tell everything".

Hotch just motioned with his head for the doctor to continue.

Basically, the main damage was caused by dehydration. She was not beaten, she was not physically tortured, no broken bones, no cuts; (the doctor paused for a little while before say what he was about to say)…. Also… she was raped, but no signs of venereal diseases."

Deep down, Hotch knew, but to hear the doctor confirming it, hurt his heart. He ran both hands across his face, and slapped his hands on his legs with hatred.

"Unfortunately something sad happened…"

Hotch frowned. 'Dammit! There is more?' He thought.

"There is more? (Ow my GOD take me from this life, I don't think I can hear any word more, Hotch thought.)….What is it, doctor; you can tell me…"

"She lost the baby…"

"W.h.a.t b.a.b.y.?" Hotch stammered.

"Well, I'm sorry if you didn't know, but it seems she was almost two months pregnant... We had to make surgery to remove the fetal remains."

"I didn't know and… she probably didn't know too..." Hotch was speechless, devastated.

"I'm very sorry, Mr. Hotchner, for your loss. We'll do everything possible to recover her without any other sequel."

* * *

In the waiting room of the hospital, Emily's parents arrived in a rush, they were returning from a trip to Europe. They found the team and joined them.

"You should have warned me that my daughter was missing!" Elizabeth protested to Rossi, very angry.

"That would not have helped in anything. We already were looking for her." Rossi replied calmly.

"That doesn't matter. I had a right to know!"

"It is not enough that Hotchner has warned you that we found her?"

"Only today! Where's the doctor? How is she?"

"Hotch is talking to him." Rossi remained calm.

"Mrs. Elizabeth, is not the time for discussions. It is time to get unite for the good of Emily". JJ tried to calm the woman.

"It's not fair that my grandchildren are left without a mother, been cared by strangers, and we knowing nothing about anything..."

"As far as we know, Emily herself was cared by strangers her entire childhood..." Morgan shot. He was leaning against the wall; he didn't even bother to look at her to say that.

Elizabeth just sent a bitter look at him.

* * *

"Do you have any estimate about when she will wake up?"

"This sort of thing is very difficult to predict. She can wake up in an hour, in a week, in a month…We'll keep you informed."

"May I see her?"

The doctor just nodded:

"Follow me."

And there went Hotch, with his heart broken into a thousand pieces to see his beloved.

* * *

**Hi Guys, our poor little Emily. Sorry to have done this to her. And what's next? Does she wake up? Will she get back to the happy life she had with Hotch and her family? Will she be able to move on? It all depends on you guys. I have nothing more written. So participate, please! Send suggestions. I really appreciate it. Thank you! I love you all.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Like always: I OWN NOTHING!**

The doctor followed Hotch to Intensive Care Unit, where Emily was. They entered and Hotch saw Emily intubated; covered until the shoulders by a blue sheet; typical hospital. He was in shock. The doctor told him:

"It's not allowed stay here; but I'll give you ten minutes with her".

"Thank you".

Once the doctor left, Hotch let tears fall that he was struggling to hold on until then. He came really close to Emily, spent his palm gently across her face:

"My love, I'm so sorry for all this, forgive me for not arriving in time. Our children, they are waiting for you, I'm right here waiting for you; you need to get back to us, Emily, please. Don't give up our family, I know how strong you are, how much you're a fighter. Soon, our babies are going to complete one year age, you need to be there. Come back to us, my love..."

Hotch was speaking amidst tears, he talked to her all the time, but the doctor soon came to interrupt him:

"I'm sorry, you need to leave now."

Hotch looked at him, then looked back at Emily, came very close to her face and gave a long kiss on her forehead:

"I love you."

Already in the hospital corridor; Hotch asked the doctor:

"Why can't I stay there with her?"

Because her health is still very fragile, open to any type of new bacteria, and all we don't need is worsen her situation. And also, because... (he paused) ...because we don't know how she'll wake up, we don't know if there will be sequels".

"Wait..." (Hotch stopped walking to look for the doctor) What kind of sequel she may have?"

"Mr. Hotchner, in her case, she can present any kind of sequel, for example, she may wake up… not knowing anyone..."

The doctor saw Hotch's disappointment:

"But it's too early for any predictions like this. Rest assured that I'll personally keep you informed".

"Thank you".

Hotch went to the waiting room, where were JJ, Penelope, Rossi, Reid, Elizabeth and her husband. Morgan had gone to the hospital board, he went to represent FBI to pick medical report and submit to the police, who were made to the charges against Karl, so he knew before everyone else, except for Hotch, all that had happened to Emily. All of them were in the waiting room, eager waiting for news about Emily. Hotch appeared in the room, everyone looked at him. There was a question mark in every face.

"Mr. Hotchner, where's my daughter? How is she? What happened to her? Don't hide me anything!"

Hotch just looked at her and thought ('My God, the last thing I need is this mad woman'); he walked to the other side of the room and spoke for them all:

"Emily is in a coma due to dehydration, doctors are trying to stabilize her internal organs. There is no predicting when and how she'll wake up."

"How? I wanna talk to her! I wanna see her!"

"Please, Mrs. Prentiss, if you need some more information, talk directly to the doctor. I need to be with my children now."

A desperate Morgan entered the room crumpling a paper with a lot of hatred, he wept tears of rage and went straight to Hotch:

"Hotch, we need to catch him!" He spat hatred through his eyes.

The paper was the medical report he had just read.

Everyone noticed, and everyone also knew deep down what had happened to her. They knew that Hotch didn't want to tell everything to everyone. Only he and Morgan knew everything, but the team also knew about the rape, but they didn't know about the baby she had lost. Only Hotch and Morgan knew. Morgan punched the wall and ran out of the hospital. Penelope went behind him. Arriving outside, he seemed nervous, angry, sad; completely powerless. He was leaning on a pillar supporting the entire weight of his body. Penelope just put his hand on his back. He looked to see who it was. He turned hugged her tightly. He allowed himself to cry. With Penelope, he could be himself.

"She'll be fine, Derek; our Emily is strong!"

"Penelope, I failed ! Again!"

"Morgan, is not your fault! All of us are exposed to these kind of things... She doesn't even work with us anymore..."

* * *

All of them left for their homes. Hotch arrived at his house, Jack was already awake:

"Daddy ! Daddy !Where is Emy?"

"She had to stay in hospital for a while, Jack."

Jack made a sad face.

Hotch went up to talk to Jessica, who was taking care of babies:

"How are they?"

"They are fine, I think Thomas will get sick, he is sneezing a lot, I've already arranged for Jack to school, the van comes to pick him up".

"Jessica, thank you so much for what you have done".

"How is Emily?"

"She is in coma. She'll have to stay in hospital for an indeterminate time. So I'll hire a nanny. I know you have your life and it's not fair with you stay stucked in here".

"Oh, I'm so sorry…..Aaron, I love taking care of babies and Jack. They are so nice and sweet. But it appeared a very good job for me, I can't refuse it, I need to work..."

"You are right. I understand. I'll check it out today."

* * *

In a few days, Hotch hired a nanny to take care of the babies. The housekeeper was taking care of things in the house. He also hired a private driver to make him available to the housekeeper and to the nanny, and take and bring Jack to school.

Hotch returned to work. He didn't took the ten days off he would take to marry. He was working straight. When he wasn't travel on cases, he went daily to see Emily at the hospital. But she was still in a coma. He was also teaching babies how to speak "Mommy" for surprise Emily when she return:

With his daughter in his arms, Thomas sat in his stroller, and Jack sitting on the couch watching cartoons; Hotch spoke:

"Pagee, look daddy, say "mammy...mammy, say it...just say babe...mammy..."

The little girl babbled various sounds, but none was like 'Mom or Mammy', but Hotch was insistent, so he stayed insisting for a long time with her. After half an hour the little girl looked at her father's face and:

"M...ma...mmy"...

Hotch opened that wonderful smile with dimples to his daughter. He hugged the girl in his arms so she stood up on his lap; he was very emotional, tears in his eyes, she was very look like Emily; he hugged her again and:

"Very good, sweetie. Very good... I love you, just keep saying mammy….mammy"...

He put Paget in her stroller with a toy in her hands for her to bite, her teeth were born already and it was bothering her.

He took Thomas in his arms and said:

"Now it's your turn, little boy"...

And Hotch did this procedure every day when it was possible, when was able to him stay at home; until the two babies had learned to speak the word 'mommy'.

* * *

Every night when he was not traveling, he has spent a time in the hospital and went home to be with the children. It had been fifteen days she was in hospital. Hotch was traveling with the team for a hard case, so he stayed three days without appearing in the hospital. He came back to Quantico on a Friday night and went straight to the hospital. He was entering the corridors until you reach the ICU. When he entered the waiting room of the ICU he came face to face with an unwanted figure: Clyde.

"What you are doing here?"

"Well, it seems that I came to visit a friend".

"She can't receive visits".

"I'll wait until she can; besides, as far as I know hospitals are public place..."

"There is no provision for her to wake up".

"Unlike you, I'm not leaving here until she wakes up".

"How did you know she was here?"

"Keep both eyes on my bests agents is a particular skill of mine".

"She is not assets anymore; specially for you…"

The atmosphere was getting tense. Herein, Hotch saw a doctor on duty passing.

"Hey, Doctor?"

"Please, I need to see my wife..."

Hotch followed the doctor to ICU. He stared at Emily through the glass, as always. He looked at the doctor:

"There was some improvement?"

"We can go to my office to talk".

"Mr. Hotchner, She is recovering well, her internal organs are functioning normally and practically without the aid of equipment, she begins to breathe without the aid of equipment. But we have not answers yet about how she'll wake up, how the brain is going to respond. We have to wait".

"Doctor, please, let me talk to her, touch her. I know it can help in her recover".

"Ok. You can speak to her..."

Hotch entered. He came very close to her and:

"Emily, my love, you need to wake up honey. Our children are missing you. Paget's almost walking; she is almost on her first steps. She also tries to speak a lot, is the cutest thing of the world. Thomas is lazier; he is feeling so much your fault. Com'on babe; look... in about three weeks they'll complete a year of life! You need to wake, baby, I miss you; I miss you so much. Come back to me, Emily. I love you so much..."

After a long time there speaking to her; Hotch said goodbye with a kiss on her forehead and left.

He said to the doctor:

"I need to make sure they will let me know as soon as she wakes up".

"You can rest assured, Mr Hotchner. It's in her medical records that you will be the first person to be advised".

"Thank you".

And Hotch left the hospital. He was hating the idea Clyde was there.

'Damn'. He thought.

* * *

A week later, a Saturday morning, Hotch was home with the kids, it was early, around 8 am, he received a call from the hospital:

"Mr. Hotchner, Emily awoke from the coma!"

**Thanks for reviews! Thanks for follow this story! Love u all.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Well folks, I'm not a doctor, but I know how Emily had no head injury, I think it would be impossible for her to have sequels of lose of memory or things like that, then she will quickly remember everything, it will be only a matter to readjust to life again.**

A week later, a Saturday morning, Hotch was home with the kids, it was early, around 8 am, he received a call from the hospital:

"Mr. Hotchner, Emily awoke from the coma!"

Hotch was speechless for a few moments.

"I'm going."

He left the kids with the nanny and housekeeper.

At the hospital, Clyde was there in the waiting room. He had not been there directly. But he went there every day expect Emily to wake up. He heard the call that was made to Hotch, so he walked up to the counter and asked for the nurse who called:

"She woke up?"

Everybody at there already knew who he was and that he was only a friend; and that he was expecting for her to wake.

"Yes, she woke up! The doctor is there with her…"

"Can I see her?"

"Unfortunately not, Mr. Easter. You aren't family… You'll have to wait for permission from someone of her family. The nurse said, lamenting.

"Nice"… He spoke more to himself, bitterly.

Emily had opened her eyes at the same instant the nurse she was preparing her for the daily hygiene, change of sheets, pillowcases, etc... There were two nurses doing this work. Suddenly one looked to another and:

"Looks like she is opening her eyes!"

One nurse stayed there and the other ran for a doctor.

"Emily, can you hear me?"

Emily could hardly see anything. She saw everything blurry. She still didn't know the meaning of the word 'hear', so she showed nothing; but she was listening.

The doctor entered the room; he went very close to her:

"Emily, can you hear anything? Can you see me?"

Emily stared at him trying to focus on his face, 'who is this man? who are these people? where am I? 'She wondered to herself.

The doctor began the initial sensory tests.

Soon, Hotch arrived at the hospital. He ran to ICU. He went through Clyde and neither looked at him.

He went over to see Emily and came pretty close to her face.

"Emily…. my love ...it's me"…

"Just don't push her too much…" The doctor said.

'Aaron Hotchner calling me 'my love' ... what the hell'... Emily wondered.

Of course, her first reaction was to open her mouth "O". Typical Emily. And then she spoke for the first time in more than a month:

"Hotch?" The sound of her voice was weak, thin, almost a whisper.

'What the hell she's calling me 'Hotch'... We're practically married, has no meaning to call me by my last name…ok, let's try again'. He wondered.

"Emily, my love, it's me… I'm so happy … Do you remember we…."

She cut him:

"I remember babies… babies crying… Oh… Hotch... Do I have any baby?"

"Yes! It's …. It's… our… babies…" Hotch stuttered. He was not sure whether to throw all the information like this.

"Oh… I had twins… where are they? I wanna see them… Are they ok?"

"They are great ! They are at our home…with Jack…."

She did an expression of who was trying very hard to remember everything.

"Have we got married? She stuttered.

"No, Not yet, my dear… But we'll…as soon as you can…"

She remembered very well how much she loved him; of course, it was a collected passion for six years.

"I remember Clyde, Interpol, London, did I go to London?"

"Yes, Emily, you were there, but now, we live together, you and me and Jack and our babies… we are a big family now…"…

Emily was quickly recovering all her memory. Her mind was racing fast.

"Did I get hurt on a case? What I am doing in here? Oh….. wwwwaaaaiiiiitt… I don't work for FBI anymore…oh… oh…I remember the cabin, oh, no, please, no, no" ... As expected, she began to panic.

"Emily, please, don't push your mind, ok? …"

But it was too late; she had already remembered those dark days that she had passed. She was shedding tears.

Hotch tried to comfort her, he tried to shift the focus of her.:

"Emily, you could be dead at this very moment... Look, just think about our children, ok? Don't you miss them? Soon you'll be able to see them…"

He looked at the doctor and:

"When will she be able to go home?"

"We have a lot of tests to do; then if they are all ok, she can go.… And we are going to do it now"

"May I stay here?"

"Sure"…

"Aaron, did you catch him?" Emily all worried.

Hotch knew she was talking about Karl.

"Emily, look…..you don't have to worry about that now"...

"Did you catch him?" Emily was getting nervous.

"Not yet, but they will!"

Emily felt chills all over her body. She felt chills just remembering the damned.  
The doctor noticed her agitation:

"Mrs. Prentiss, you need to stay calm, stable, so that we can perform all the tests."

"Easy for you to say" (bitterly)… "Sorry" (not really meaning it)…

Hotch thought: 'definitely, she's back. This is Emily Prentiss I know!' he breathed relief.

Hotch called JJ to inform that she had woken. She undertook to report the to rest of the team. Hotch remained in the hospital throughout the time during testing. The doctors were testing the senses, hearing, vision, and motor coordination. She responded positively to all tests. She just would need physical therapy to recover 100% of her movements. But it could be done at home. In the evening of that day, the doctor came back with the good news for Hotch:

"Mr. Hotchner; it's pretty normal that she presents a short memory loss, it is easier for her to remember things that happened longer ago than recent; she will recover 100% of the memory, but it's pretty normal if her memory presents some failure. We'll keep watching her. Here's schedule with upcoming appointments. She can go home now"...

Hotch smiled with beautiful dimples.

"Thank you, for now, doctor."

"I can hardly believe I'll see my children"... Emily celebrated.

Clyde had not been allowed to go see her, so he knew the she was going home and walked to the exit of the hospital waiting for them. Hotch crossed the exit door of the hospital, pushing the wheelchair with Emily on, Clyde appeared.

"Clyde!" Emily was surprised.

"I've been here almost a month, just to try to see you" ...

"She was in a coma." Hotch pointed (big frown).

"I'm going home now, but you can go visit me tomorrow"...

"It is not necessary Emily; I've already seen that you are good..."

"I insist!"

Clyde gave a sarcastic look of satisfaction for Hotch.

"Ok I will"...

"I send you the address."

Emily had been more than a month in a coma, so she wasn't able to walk alone. They opted for a wheelchair. Although passive physical therapy that was made on her, at the hospital, she had not yet all movements of the legs and arms. She was in pain throughout the body. And the movement of the legs and arms were failing.  
They arrived in the garage of their home. Hotch got out of the car and went opened the other door to get Emily. She hesitated for a moment. He tried to catch her in his arms but she did not let:

"Wait…." She sighed deeply. She fought back tears, made a motion with his head looking up, for the tears not fall; and also and made some motions with her mouth...

"What is it, Emily?"

"….and if they don't forgive me….. for being away for so long….and if they don't recognize me?..." Now she was crying.

"Emily, what happened to you is not your fault. Of course they're going to remember you"...

"Do you think they are awake?"

"They still follow the same routine that you created. I'm pretty sure they are awake".

Emily bit her lip and:

"Let's go"…

They entered the house, the housekeeper opened the door:

"Mrs. Prentiss, is so good to have you back!"

"Oh, Joane, I already said you can call me just Emily…Anyway, thank you!"

Hotch took Emily into his arms to the TV room, where the children were with a babysitter.

Jack was lying on the couch watching cartoons. The twins were in their strollers, each one biting a toy. And the nanny was sitting on the couch reading a magazine. When Hotch entered the room with Emily in his arms, Jack was the first to react:

"Emy!" He ran to his father with Emily in his arms.

"Wait, Jack ..." Hotch said as he put Emily on the couch.

"Hiiiiiii Jack, I missed you so much. Are you okay?". Emily was already sitting on the couch, made a slight effort to hug the boy.

"Yeah. I missed you too, Emy." He hugged her back.

The babysitter immediately off the couch.

Hotch took Paget into his arms and took closer to Emily, he spoke to the little girl:

"Hey babe, look who's back ... mommy ... say hi to mommy ... just like daddy taught you ..."

The girl just looked at her mother. Emily was thrilled; she was staring at her little girl in Hotch's arms. She was afraid to pick up the girl and dropping her. Then she just stared and she said:

"Hi, babe, it's Mom, missed you so much"….

The girl smiled at her mother, but she seemed to be more concerned about the little toy she was holding in her tiny hand and biting.

Meanwhile, the babysitter was already with Thomas in her arms and had brought him close to Emily on the couch.

"Hi, nice to meet you…" Emily said to the nanny.

In fact, she wasn't liking, neither a little, to see someone else take care of her children. Just the idea of it bothered her.

"Hi, I'm Tiffany, nice to meet you too."

Once the little boy laid eyes on Emily, he started crying desperately.

Emily: "O". Of course! She looked at Hotch then she looked back to the boy.

"Hey babe, it's me … it's mommy!" Emily spoke sweetly to him.

But Thomas cried even more.

"OOOO" Emily's mouth.

The nanny lifted with the boy in her arms and walked around the room passing her hand gently on his little backs. He calmed down.

Emily watched that scene, stunned. She could not believe her son had rejected her. Hotch, still with the little girl in his arms, said:

"Alright, Emily, is nothing. He's a bit cold…. Nevermind…" He saw the disappointment on her face.

"Emy, why you took so long in the hospital?"

"Because ... I was taking care of my health…. to get back to you all..."

"But why didn't you call us?"

"Because .. because I couldn't speak, Jack..."

"Why couldn't you speak?"

"Because I was sleeping…"

"Wowww….You slept all this time?"

"Yes, Jack"... Emily, bitter smile.

"And why you left us there at the gas station?" Jack asked, showing signs that he was still too traumatized.

Emily was feeling dizzy. The expression on her face erased.

"Jack, please, not now, ok…the other day we talked about it…"

"Ok daddy…"

Emily thanked silently. She felt a pang in the heart about the whole situation.

After a little more time there in the TV room, the nanny put the twins to bed and Hotch put Jack in his bed. He took Emily into his arms to their bedroom. He put her sitting on the bed.

"I wanna take a long bath in the tub".

"Ok. I'll take you".

"Ok… But let me lean on you, I want to try walking…."

"Ok…"

He held her by her waist and she support with her arm on his shoulder. In fact, he was holding almost all the weight of her body by his arm. She had lost a lot of weight, she was already thin; but now, she was much more.

Hotch took her to the bathroom, put her in a chair that was there; it was a large bathroom.

"Let me help you with your clothes..." Hotch motioned to take off her shirt. But she stopped him:

"No! It is not necessary..." She bit her lip.

Hotch walked to the bathroom door to exit:

"If you need anything, I'm right here…"

"Thank you".

It became clear to both of them that she had built a huge barrier around her again; barriers of protection. In fact, the walls were all built by the whole situation that had happened to her. There was a huge lock again, and she could not get naked in front of her own fiance, father of her children. She practically dragged into the hot tub and stood there for a long time. She cried remembering everything. After nearly an hour, she called for Hotch. She had drained all the water from the tub and dressed a bath robe that was inside the bathroom.

"Can you can help me get out here?"

He lifted her and they went to the closet.

He put her sitting on the couch that was in the closet.

"What you want to wear?"

"…a very comfortable panties and pajamas".

Hotch picked up the pieces of the closet, handed to her and left.

She remembered her mother saying: 'never depend on a man for anything'. She could almost laugh if she wasn't feeling so bad with all that had happened to her, plus her own child rejecting her, and she has to be asking help for everything.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes…"

Hotch took her to bed.

They were lying facing each other for some time.

"You told the team?"

"Yes, but I said you could only talk to them tomorrow. Emily, you know you need to give your statement, right? Have you thought about that?"

"No….. But I already know who I want to give my statement."

"Who?"

"You…"

"OK, when you're ready, you let me know."

"OK".

"Emily….I'm so sorry not arriving in time…"

Minutes of silence.

"Do you think Thomas will accept me back?"

"Of course he will! Emily… please… it was just his first reaction… chill out..."

"It is so painful to see someone take care of them…"

"I bet you very soon are going to be able to go back doing that…"

Moments of silence.

"When I was kidnapped I asked him to kill me. Because I know you would do a good job with our children…"

"Know that I wouldn't be so sure, Emily..."

Moments of silence.

"When I lost Haley, I went crazy, because I knew it was my duty protects her; I knew I had to keep her away from any danger because this work was not her choice, but mine. Then I blamed myself, I got frustrated. But ventilate the possibility of losing you made that I didn't want to live anymore, nor for our children; because you're my foundation; you are from where I got my strength to live and get out of bed every day. It's a totally different situation because I was the foundation of Haley but you're mine. If I lose you, I lose everything, everything loses meaning for me. And I got scared about that…But it's totally true…"

"I love you…" Emily murmured.

Hotch hugged her and was embraced for a long time.

"Just give me time, ok?"

"The time you need, and I'll be right here, for you."

They slept embraced.

**Well, I'll start writing the final chapters of this story. In the next chapter will be the visiting team to Emily. Then there's the one-year anniversary of the twins. Then, the wedding. And in the midst of these chapters will have the arrest of Karl, the relationship of Garcia and Morgan; finalization of the situation with Clyde. And some more stuff. If you have suggestions, send. Tks. Love you all.**


	31. Chapter 31

**I OWN NOTHING.**

The next day, Sunday, Hotch organized an afternoon tea for everyone on the team could visit Emily.

JJ went only with Penelope, she thought it was better to go without her family, to save Emily, after all, it was a visit to a recovering person. So were there just JJ, Penelope, Reid and Rossi in the Hotchners' living room just talking trivialities; and, of course, Emily's parents.

Of course they would not mention the kidnap. Everyone was happy that she was recovering well. Emily was feeling a little uncomfortable, it was not being easy for her to face her old team, her friends, and everyone knowing what had happened to her. It was an embarrassing situation for her. But she loved everyone there, and she knew that she was also loved by them. Anyway, she thought: 'I think I have their confidence back'.

Around five o'clock, Joane, the housekeeper, appeared in the room:

"Emily, there's a man at the gate to see you".

Emily thought: 'I've lived this scene before' ... she laughed. She already imagined Clyde.

"His name is Clyde Easter"...

All of the team looked curious. Hotch, of course, didn't like at all.

"Bring him here, Joane, please"...

Clyde entered the room and scared a little seeing that all they were there. But he politely greeted everyone except Hotch, they just looked at each other. Everyone was a little uncomfortable with the situation. He bent to kiss Emily on her face, who was on the couch.

"What do you wanna drink?"

"What are you drinking?"

"I'm drinking tea, after more than a month without food, I hardly can eat something…"

"Oh…I see….Remembering Londo's days… (He laught a little)…I accompany you at tea."

Gradually Clyde was entering the conversation with others and can be said that was being a nice afternoon. He also played with the twins, and even with Jack.

Emily was sitting on the couch next to JJ and Penelope; without anyone listening, she asked Penelope:

"Where's Morgan?"

"I….. don't know." Penelope replied sadly.

"I called him….. he was happy to hear about you….. but he said he could not come today; he had an appointment or something ..." ... JJ said.

Emily only sighed slightly. The twins were already walking alone, so Hotch and the nanny had to be chasing them all the time. Emily felt a little frustrated and sad not being able to do that.

Around seven in the evening, all of them were gone, the babysitter was bathing the twins, Jack watching cartoons, only left Clyde, Emily and Hotch in the room.

"Well, I think I'm going now."

"No…. stay... we didn't have the opportunity to talk…"… Emily said.

"Do you want me to leave?" Hotch asked her.

Emily frowned; she was really surprised at his question.

"Only if you want to…"

"I'll let you two talking". Hotch, spoke dryly, and went upstairs.

Emily just followed him with her eyes; the mouth slightly open.

Clyde sat in the chair next to her. He noticed the discomfort of the situation. He knew he was not welcome there, even more, Aaron Hotchner having to leave them alone in his own home.

"So…..how are you feeling?"

Emily had a lump in her throat. She wanted to cry. But she could not break there in front of her Clyde; it would have to be with Hotch, who was practically her husband. So she only replied:

"I don't know…..so much has happened, so much going on"….

Moments of heavy silence.

"It breaks my heart see you like this, Em…. I'm pretty sure you'll recover physically; but more important…is recovering mental and emotional….. and recover the strength and the spirits that bring brightness to your eyes… that brightness that even on coldest and darkest days I could see….. it was always there. But I don't see that now….."

"I feel like I don't have a soul anymore… I feel like I'm not myself…"

"It is perfectly normal, Emily….because of what you went through….. But going forward has to be another story….and that's exactly what you need to take care: recover yourself…. Recover the Emily that was courageous; kicking doors, faces bad guys, not afraid of anything… recover my Emily that is my friend….. and….. that… I love…."

As he said it, he sat next to her on the same couch. He hugged her, resting her head on his chest. He passed his hands on her hair.

"Stop…. It's really too late for that…" She said almost murmuring.

She said that, but deep down, she was secure with him. Clyde represented to her an escape from everything she was going through and feeling. And it was not little.

"I'll regret for life for letting you escape; for have lost you... And I think God is going to make me live 300 years to pay for it"... He laughed bitterly.

They stood there a while longer and then he parted. He would go to London the next day. Joane accompanied him to the door and returned to the living room:

"Do you need something, Emily?"

"Just call Hotch here, please."

Hotch took Emily up, they neither spoke. He helped Emily to the bathroom again, in the same scheme yesterday.

They slept without talking. Emily was feeling that was growing a revolt within herself against him. She knew that, no way, what had happened to her was his fault; but she could not help herself. It seems to be the most loved person in the world ends up taking all the consequences; and it was exactly it that was happening to her.

And Hotch, himself, also made no effort to talk to her, because he didn't like Clyde, didn't trust him and didn't agree with their friendship. Let's make it very clear.

* * *

Two weeks later they were ready for the twins' birthday party. There would not be a big party, because Emily was still recovering. She almost could walk without assistance, she was doing physiotherapy intensely, but she was still afraid to carry the babies. Morgan had not come visit her or call her. Things between her and Hotch were cold. But he knew it was because of rape. They spoke only what was necessary and everything was bothering her.

The party was in the garden of their house, a sunny Sunday. The twins were uptight, very cute. Emily loved tidying her children; Henry and Jack running everywhere, as always. There were the team and Emily's parents.

At one point, Emily saw the nanny carrying Thomas into the house:

"Where are you going with him?"

"I'll change his diapers".

"I can do it by myself…"

Emily said dryly, surprised the nanny. She took the Thomas from her arms; she felt that was carrying tons, because of weakness of her arms, but she made a huge effort to keep the boy in her arms.

"And Tiffany, let's make things very clear here: from now on, everything my children need, you have to ask me. You will just ask me and I am going to do; if they need diapering, or anything else, the only thing you have to do is let me know, ok?" Emily said, firmly.

"Ok, Mrs. Hotchner."

"One more thing, Mr. Hotchner and I aren't married yet; then you can just call me just Emily." She was angrily.

She, with the little boy in her arms, went upstairs.

* * *

About two weeks after the twins' party; on Monday, Hotch was getting ready for work. It had been a month since Emily got out of the hospital. She never left the house, she was afraid to go out because Karl was still loose in the streets. The relationship between them was terrible. They were speaking only what was necessary. It was six o'clock in the morning; Hotch was finishing getting ready for work, he saw Emily move in bed. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

"I was hoping you improve your mood, but as I'm seeing that is not going to happen, then… I'm going to tell: you need to give your statement. Karl was arrested..."

"You were hoping I improve my mood?" She could not believe she was listening this.

"Well, I don't have time for this. When you can give your statement?"

"I let you know"…

"It has to be soon…"

"It will be"…

Then he walked to the door to leave, he opened the door and before closing he looked at her in bed:

"Bye"... Dryly.

He closed the door before she could answer.

On that same day, in the evening, Emily went to the BAU. She stopped at the door glass for a moment; by far, she noticed Reid and Morgan on their desks. Somehow, she thought if she was still just an FBI agent, no boyfriend, children, and nothing. Not that they were not important, but they are supposed to bring happiness. So, she concluded: definitely there is something wrong in all of this. She entered and Reid noticed her, causing Morgan turned around to see who Reid was staring to. Reid immediately went to greet his friend, with a hug. Morgan also walked slowly near them:

"Emily ... Hi .. I'm sorry for..."

She cut him dryly.

"It is not necessary, Morgan…. Hotch is here?" She asked looking at Reid.

"Yeah… at… his office..."

"Thanks, Reid…"

Emily stamped her feet to Hotch's office, leaving the two men there, exchanging curious glances and grimaces and heavy sighs.

Emily hit twice, opened the door and entered, closing the door behind her.

"Are you busy?"

He looked at her, looked at the paperwork on his desk he looked back at her, as if he was saying 'I'm always busy"…He dropped the pencil from his hand, leaned in his chair, as if to say 'I can take a break to talk to you'.

She read every gesture of him and said:

"Anyway…I came to give my statement…"

Hotch looked at her for a while, he did not know if he himself was prepared to listen to all that she would say.

"Just give me a minute to finish this..."

"Ok… I'll say hi to JJ and Penelope..."

Emily was with her two friends at Penelope's office:

…"I don't know….. I feel like it has something wrong in my life…... I feel like I….. I ….don't fit ...anymore…."

"Before the kidnapping, have you felt this way?" JJ asked.

"No! I felt like I was the happiest person in the world…... But… now, I… I just can't feel the same way I did before….. everyday is like a new battle...

"Even about Hotch?" Penelope asked.

"Yes... mainly!" Emily confessed sadly.

"How so? You think you don't love him anymore?" JJ asked.

"No….. I mean…I do love him! …But he is always so distant… I know that I'm the one who is responsible for have built a barrier around me again, since this whole thing happened….. I built walls around me again…..but instead of approaching and help me out and destroy these barriers, these walls… He increases mines and builds his own! It's so difficult…."

JJ and Penelope just watched, and mourned.

"….Don't get me wrong girls…..I love my family….. but there's something very wrong about my life, and I simply can't figure out what it is ..."

"Well, we can only say that you will always be able to count on us…"

"Thank you, girls…"

And Emily made her way back to Hotch's office.

* * *

"I'm going to record your statement…"

"Ok".

"When you are ready..."

"I already am. Let's get this over with…"

Hotch hesitated for a moment; Emily noted:

"What?"

He did not answer and turned on the recorder.

"You can start…"

She looked for a fixed point on Hotch's table so she could stare at. She would not look at him, it would be very embarrassing for her.

"I took Jack from school, as usual, and realized I had to fill the car. So I stopped at the gas station. I asked for attendant to fill the tank. I handed the credit for him, but he told me that the machine was broke and that I would have to go to the convenience store to swipe the card. I was out of money. I said I could not go there because of the kids. But he said it was hopeless. And he said he'd keep an eye on children, I always refuel at that gas station; I had seen him several times here, so although I didn't like the situation at all, I have not seen major problems and I went"...

"So, he must have known that you used go at that gas station... did notice if he followed you?"

"No. I was away from the counter at the convenience store, I was still inside the store, he pulled the gun on my back, inside of my blouse. I felt the cold barrel on my skin. Then he told me to decide if I wanted to go back to my car, with him, or go with him to his car. But he told me that if we went to my car, he would have to do with our children the same as he did to those families, kill them".

She was starting to panic.

"I had no choice Aaron ... I'm so sorry. I'll never forgive myself for leaving them there…"

"Emily, you did the right thing... to protect them..."

Emily took a deep breath and continued:

"Then we got into the van, I had to drive for about half an hour, with a gun pointed at me. Then he made me stop the van, he handcuffed me, gagged me, and put me in the trunk. Then he drove for a long, long time. I think more than a day, being the last hours seemed to be rising bounds on a steep road…"

Emily started biting her lips, looking up, then down, biting her lips incessantly, in every way. She seemed to be searching for words. 'My God', it was to be easier to say it in front of him '... She thought. But she said:

"He is already in prison, is not he?"

"Yes."

"So I don't want to give my statement..."

"Emily, in order to process him for this crime, you are required to give evidence to present the case."

"No... He already has a life sentence..."

"But Emily, what he did to you can not go unpunished!"

"It will not happen anything else with him other than what is already happening... But with me! I'll have to relive all over again ! Here….. with you….. and in court… I don't want it !"

"If you are not ready, we can do this another day…But you have to…"

She cut him:

"I'm not doing it now and not ever! I'm leaving…."

She got up and left, leaving Hotch there, dumbfounded, speechless.

* * *

Three months later, many cases Hotch and thanks for not having to go home. The clime between them was terrible. They never had talked about the subject of the statement, or marriage or anything.

A Wednesday, Hotch was in his office finalizing reports. It was almost 10 o'clock at night. Rossi was still there because he was working on a parallel research. He was leaving and saw that his friend was still there, because his room light was still on. He knocked and entered.

"Still here?"

Hotch nodded and raised his eyebrow; deep breath...

Rossi entered, stood watching his friend and began:

"You know, I stayed married for a considerable time with each of my three wives. And with all of them was the same story. In the beginning of the marriage…. in the very beginning…. I could not wait to get home after work... But over time, I always started to stay at work until late…. simply because I didn't want to go home….. and this fact was always my thermometer to tell…. (he made a pause)….. that was time for divorce... And I really had no desire to fix things... never... I don't know if it was out of laziness or lack of love or lack of something to call me to them... I always made the situation so untenable for them... that they ended asking for divorce. I was sad in the beginning... but then... felt like a relief. So I could focus on work or my lovers…. This is me ... and that is where it leaves me today: alone.. "

Hotch interrupted his friend.

"Dave, Dave ... why are you telling me all this?"

"Oh...please.. Aaron... Don't you recognize yourself?"

Hotch did not respond. Simply lowered her eyes. Deep breath.

"You already let it happened with Haley... Will you let it to happen with Emily?

"I don't know what to do Dave..."

"What's happening?"

"Since this whole thing happened...I don't know what to do to help her..."

"Well, is not staying here until that late..."

"She is always angry, or sad. She doesn't talk to me anymore. She has spent the night in the babies bedroom, e-v-e-r-y n-i-g-h-t-!... Dave...she didn't even change her clothes in front of me!"

"Well...It's pretty normal, considering what she went through... And what are you doing to at least try to change the situation?"

"I'm giving the space she needs, Dave...What else can I do…"

"Oh... and... what makes you think that space is what she needs?"

"I don't know Dave... The fact is that... deep down... I really don't know her... we had an intense courtship during only three months and then... then she went to London and... when I went to pick her up with my children...we spent living together and ... Now ... I don't know how to handle it ... (pause)... The other day, I came home, it was around 9 pm, I went to my bedroom, she was there with the twins, in our bed, handle with the bottles baby and feed the babies ... when I came, she took the babies to their bedrooms and just stayed there... she spent the whole night there..."

"And what did you do?"

"What could I do? ...I did nothing... Dave, she has slept there every night..."

"Look Aaron, I'm so sorry for have to tell you this...but you need to do something... because I can see that this abyss between you and her is growing very fast... There is a myth that says that wounds heal by themselves, with time... may be true but when it does, there must be a new beginning for a something new, which means that what exists has to end... Is that what you want?"

"No, Dave... Of course not...I love my family... I love her..."

"So you need to touch your finger on that wound... it will hurt …. For both of you…. but it'll cure it... I'm sure you will know how to do this... Now... go home..."

"Thank you….. Dave..."

"You don't thank me... just... be happy..."

**Next chapter, I promise: Morgan and Garcia! and Hotch and Prentiss too.**


	32. Chapter 32

**I OWN NOTHING.**

Arriving home that night that he had decided to talk to Emily to clarify things, Hotch arrived and went straight to the babies' bedroom, he knew Emily was there. He kissed each of her children that were in their cribs, he sat on the bed where she was sleeping; she woke as he sat:

"Hi.."

"Hi.."

"I need to talk to you…"

"It may be tomorrow? I'm tired and sleepy…"

He thought for a minute, but he completely understood:

"Ok….. but…. at least comes to sleep in our bedroom…." He asked.

She thought for a minute:

"Not today, please…"

"Ok."

Aaron Hotcher was a kind of person that really respected people decision and choices, too much, further than was necessary; he never, never insisted with anything. So he got up and went to his bedroom. The next morning, he woke up with JJ on the phone before he even wake up. There was an emergency case. The talk with Emily would have to leave for another day. He kissed the children and Emily and left.

* * *

The twins were now one year and six months old. It was a Saturday afternoon, Hotch was traveling a lot with the team. Emily's parents were at her house to visit her and the babies. They were on the garden; Jack was playing in the tree house with a friend. Paget and Thomas were close to them, sometimes sitting, playing, sometimes standing, walking, but always near. It had already some hours they were there. Emily's father was strolling hand with Paget little hands; Elizabeth took Thomas and put him sitting on her lap. But the boy started swinging the legs to go down. He wanted to walk. The nanny just watching from far. Emily and her mother was sat on the gazebo area, talking.

"Children are not like the old days ... They want to move all the time…"

"He doesn't like to stay in the lap mother…"

"Emily….what about the marriage?"

For Elizabeth, it does not matter that Emily was already 40 years old, she had to be marriage to rectify the situation; to make things right; as it should be.

"I don't know mom, Hotch is traveling a lot…"

"You need to rectify the situation, Emily."

Emily didn't want to talk to her mother about her problems with Hotch; since throughout her life, she had never done it, she always took care of herself all alone, and also she didn't want to argue, so she just nodded.

"I know…"

"You intend to go back to work… or….. try another baby?"

Emily looked curiously at her mother:

"Try another baby?"

"Since you just lost the one ..." She realized the stupidity that was talking:

"You know…Never mind…"

"**NO !** Did I lose a baby? When I was in coma?

Elizabeth lowered her eyes, if she could condemn herself; she was the kind of person who was always giving a nudge in order to hurt someone, but this one she had done without thinking, she had not imagined that Hotch had not told her anything about the baby she lost, even because it was difficult to hide something from an Emily Prentiss.

"**MOTHER?**" Emily shouted as if waiting for her to say everything.

"Emily, I'm sorry, I thought you knew…"

She paused and looked at Emily, her daughter's face was white, her lips parted, eyes wide, in hopes of an explanation, and an expression of pain. 'Just when she was just beginning to improve herself', Elizabeth thought. She wanted to say something to relieve her daughter's pain, and not for worse it. But she could not avoid. She already had started to talk. So, she took a deep breath and:

"Emily, I went to visit you at the hospital, on the first day, you were in a coma. Hotch talked to the doctor but he didn't want to tell us everything that had happened, so I and your father went to talk to the doctor and he told us, he had to make a surgery to..."

She paused again; Emily was shedding tears without stopping, as tap open, looking at her mother.

"Anyway, Emily, when you were kidnapped, you were… almost two months pregnant…"

Emily's father was coming with the little girl. He sat in the chair next to them. He noticed Emily was crying.

"What happened?"

"I told her about the baby she lost…"

"You shouldn't !" He fumed.

"Dad, please, you also think I shouldn't know it?" Emily, in tears.

"Not now….. six months later…"

"It was an accident…. when I realized …..I had already said…I thought Hotch had told her…"

Paget was beating her little hands on her mother knees, as if she wanted to climb on her lap.

Emily took her daughter in her arms. The little girl just snuggled in her mother's arms. It was as if she knew her mother was in need of affection. Thomas stood near the tree house; he wanted to play with the older boys. The nanny was looking after him.

"I can't believe Hotch said me nothing about that…" Emily said, sadly.

"Surely, he didn't tell to save you from more suffering". Emily's father said.

"Men…..always protecting each other…"

"Elizabeth, you don't need to put oil on the fire, please…" Emily's father spoke it but in fact he had no idea how bad the situation was between Emily and Hotch.

* * *

Hotch was working on a difficult case in Texas. They were there for four days and the unsub was killing and they could not solve the case. They were practically no sleep the whole time, so Hotch decided make turns and that Saturday he went to the hotel to get some sleep. Before bed he called Emily.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"How are the children?"

"They're fine."

"And you?"

"I'm fine."

Moments of silence.

"Okay, I see you when I get back."

"Ok"

"Bye."

"Bye."

She wanted to dump all her anger, but she knew he needed to stay 100% focused on the case. Then she held firm. Of course, for an experienced profiler like him, he realized a little more anger in her voice, but he had no idea it was because she had found out about the baby she lost.

* * *

On that same Saturday, the team was all very tired. Penelope had traveled with them. She and Morgan decided to go out to eat something out of the hotel and walk a bit to unwind. It looked like they were going crazy with this hard case.

She and Morgan were in a restaurant very simple but very cozy. The restaurant was 24 hours. It was near midnight. They finished eating and left the restaurant for a walk. They were walking embraced, it was cold.

"It's a shame that we only have moments like this when we're on a case…"

"Moments?"

"Yeah… You…. me…"

"Oh Baby girl, we went out other times…. Without cases…"

"Yeah… I know… but with the whole team... I'm talking about you and me"...

Morgan was well aware of what she was referring.

"We… have already talked about this, Penelope…"

Penelope stopped walking to look at him.

"I know Derek, but, please…don't you see? We are meant to be together…And don't give me the thing 'you see me like a sister' because I know you don't treat your sister like you treated me in my bed…"

He laugh a little.

"Penelope I know, but I'm afraid…"

"Afraid of what?"

"To ruin what we already have, our friendship…"

"…Let's at least try…"

"…And if we try and it does not work?"

"I promise we'll be back to being just friends…Don't you like me?"

"You know I love you…. but not the way you deserve…"

"You still love Emily?"

Morgan lowered his eyes in order to high something.

"I don't know, Penelope…. So much has happened…Emily is like a…you know… when you're a kid… and your parents are very poor… and you see a toy every day in a shop window…. and you see it every day….. and you want this toy so hard…. and deep down….. deep inside yourself…. you know you will never be able to have that toy ... But even knowing that you will never be able to have it, you still wanting….. Then….. when you grow up, you even buy it…. just to be able to have it, only for the satisfaction of having it….. but …. Guess what ? there is no more grace in it….. because you grow up….. because the time has passed…. and the toy looks pretty dull close to what you imagined…"

"So….let me guess….. Emily is the toy that became dull for you?"

"No, Penelope….. is exactly the opposite….. because I never had her…..and never will have, because she isn't something you can buy…. so I'll never know."

"Let me try make you forget her... Just one chance…"

"…You're too precious for me to hurt you…"

"Derek, look… you're alone, I'm alone, let's try... I promise that if we don't work out, we went back to being just friends…I promise you that…"

Derek pulled her into a hug, so that their bodies were well glued. Penelope fit one of her legs between his legs to provoke him. She looked right into his eyes. They fell into a long kiss. After the kiss:

"You know this is against the BAU rules…" Derek pointed. He wasn't even a little sure about this.

"This will be our little secret…"

And on that day, they began a hidden courtship.

* * *

Two days later, they finally got the unsub, so they could return home. Each one had only one day off.

They arrived at the BAU, 11 pm on Monday. Hotch sent a message to Emily:  
I'm coming home now.

He arrived at his home near midnight. Emily spent every night in twins' bedroom; Hotch opened his bedroom door, it was dark, he turned on the light and she was sitting in the chair as if she was waiting for him. He stood still a moment looking at her before closing the door. 'That was odd, she still awake until this hour, and in their bedroom? Definitely there is something strange'. He thought. He knew nothing, but he felt that a big bomb would burst. He took a deep breath:

"Hi."

"Can we talk in your office?"

"Emily, it has to be today? I'm so tired, a whole week working on this case, I haven't sleep…I have a day off tomorrow…"

She cut him:

"No! Because I can't stay one more second with this stuck in my throat. I can't even breathe anymore…"

Hotch was tired, exhausted, large and deep dark circles. He barely had the strength to speak. They went to the office downstairs. So Emily could scream. Once there, after closing the door, still standing, Emily, dropping fire from the eyes, rapid breathing, arms folded, asked:

"Why didn't you tell me about the baby?"

Hotch sighed, rolled his eyes, he looked at her. 'Oh no, who did a favor and tell her that? Fuck', he thought.

"What good would that do?" He said trying to keep calm.

She opened her mouth.

"Don't you think I should know? I have a dead child ripped out of **MY** body and you didn't think I needed to know?" She screamed.

"Emily, you were going through so much, and I just wanted to save you... You know it would not help anything, just make the situation worse…" He still trying to keep calm.

"So you really never intended to tell me?"

Now he was losing his patient:

"I don't know…Gee… I don't know… I just thought when you woke up was not the right time…. And then …. The time passed and our lives, our relationship ceased to exists.…I barely could speak to you…"

"And you're blaming me for this?" And she screamed louder.

"I'm not blaming you, Emily….. but I don't know what to do to help you….

"You **ARE** blaming, Aaron, of course you are. Do you think putting me in this beautiful house…. with a lot of employees at my disposal…. with a stranger taking care of **MY** children, and everyone treating me like I was a queen or an ET or something…. and everything always available to me to let me happy? You thought it would improve my mood? As you said the other day…. that I needed to improve my mood? …..But I tell you, Aaron: it's not that I need ! I grew up surrounded by my family employees doing everything to me….. but just what I needed I had not! ….and you're doing the same thing….. Giving me things and putting people at my disposal, but you are increasingly distant from me…. When I most need is you, Aaron ! You ! even when you're in one case, I need to feel that you care, and I'm not feeling it... And there's no way I improve my mood up every time I close my eyes I remember that damn entering inside me! and his disgusting breath trying to kiss my mouth. And when I open my eyes…. you're never there….. and even when you are, it's like you're not..." She was crying a lot.

But he also was crying a lot:

"Emily, I wish I could go back in time to erase everything you suffered by his hands… but I can't! ….. I …. Just….. can't! I wanted to go there and kill him with my bare hands, like I did with the other…..but tell me, Emily….. that would relieve your pain? Tell me ! Let me guess: no! So tell me once and for all what I have to do to ease your pain? Tell me… I'll do whatever you want, but I can't go back in time and erase what you have suffered or put me there in your place and suffer for you….. You think I didn't suffer knowing everything that you went through? You think I have not suffered listening each new word that our children spoke and you were not here to listen? You think I didn't suffer remembering you sitting in that damn chair breastfeeding them? You think I have not suffered for this baby, that was supposed to be my child too? Tell me, Emily?" He was screaming and crying a lot.

He sat in a chair trying to compose himself. Emily was speechless. After a while, she sat next to him:

"What we're gonna do?"

He was supporting his elbow on his knee and his head in his hands:

"I don't know, Emily, I don't know…"

He took his hands from his face and looked at her:

"I just know that we have three little children who are totally dependent on us, and we can't continue like this…"

"What do you mean?"

He was speechless.

"Do you want to break up?" Emily asked.

"Is that what you want?" Hotch returned the question.

**And now, folks? Two stubborn that never give the first step…**


	33. Chapter 33

**I OWN NOTHING.**

"Do you want to break up?" Emily asked.

"Is that what you want?" Hotch returned the question.

They looked into their eyes trying, despairingly, to read each other, they were very close. He was much harder to read than her. But this time Emily really pushed her profiler skills so bad in order to read and understand him once and for all.

Those damn piercing eyes! Emily felt his gaze invade her soul. For the first time, she could read everything about him. She could read how everything he did was to help her and if he had made something wrong it wasn't on purpose… She could see the man behind the scowl and coldness, a passionate man who does everything for his family, but, for being human, is capable of making mistakes; a man who is dedicated to work, with the firm purpose to help humanity even if he has to sacrifice himself; a man who loved her for real. She could, finally, read how much he loved her, and she could see that was the man she had fell in love since six years ago.

And Hotch could see all the weakness behind that woman, Emily, who on the outside, was like a fortress, but inside, she just wants to be loved, just wants to be loved… it was as if he could hear her soul screaming through her eyes: 'I just wanna be loved!' After reading all of this in each other's eyes, they fell into a passionate kiss. It was like a magnet. They kissed for a long time, when they noticed Emily was sitting on his lap, with both her hands upon his shoulder. A very passionate kiss. A very long kiss. A kiss that would answer all the questions by itself. A kiss that seemed to have its own life and that would guide them to what should really be done. They proved each other's taste again, but mostly they proved how much they loved each other.

After the long kiss, resting the forehead on each other, Emily said:

"I hope this is an answer…I don't wanna break up… But I also don't want to continue like this…"

"So let's try to fix things... You tell me what has to change….. what I need to do to help you…. and I'll do…"

"…I don't need a nanny or driver….. I don't want them here. We don't need them…"

"I hired them to help me and then…you…"

"I know….but now I don't need them anymore… It hurts me greatly to see that you simply leave our children in their hands, with strangers... and if I had not woken up?"

"I didn't leave them with strangers... I had no choice….At first, they were with Jessica, but she got a new job… What you wanted me to do? It was an emergency situation..."

"Anyway, I don't want them here…anymore… Joanne is enough to help me with things in the house…. My whole life I grew up surrounded by employees doing things to me and I don't want that for our children…never, never, never….because what I wanted most I didn't have… my parents near me…"

"Is that what was bothering you?"

She lowered her eyes before answering and waited a bit to answer:

"No…What bothers me most is remembering him…" She confessed, sadly.

For this he had no answer.

Hotch pulled her into a hug and they remained embraced for a long time. And through that hug were told over a thousand 'I love you' and 'I need you' from both parties.

He whispered in her ear:

"Could please go back to our bed?"

She whispered back in his ear:

"Only if I can sleep clutching at you ..."

Already in bed. Hotch has not even remembered what sex was, after so long without. He was very excited lying so close to her. '…nothing better than to make peace with a good night of sex...' He thought. They were under the covers. His right hand was happily tucked inside her pajama, at waist, while he was kissing her mouth, he tried down his hand inside of her pajamas, but she quickly stopped him.

"No… p…p…please…"

Oh... This really was a bucket of cold water over him... But he was happy that they had settled things; they looked at each other in the eyes. He kissed her forehead:

"That's ok… I wait your time…"

But then he went to the bathroom to work things out for himself, he was really in need of relief.

* * *

Three months later, things were getting better and better between them, but Emily still could not make love to him. But Hotch understood the situation perfectly, she was not ready; and he was also traveling a lot with the team. The twins were almost 2 years old now; they talked a lot, cute, cute, very cute. Paget was a mini-Emily, and Thomas was a mini-Hotch. Emily spent her time taking care of the children and the things of the house. Sometimes, to kill the nostalgia of the job, she met with Hotch in their home office to discuss some difficult cases that he used to bring home. There were no more driver or nanny. It was now a Friday night, the team was off.

"…Are you sure that it's ok… you stay with them alone?"

"Come on, Emily, I've done that before ..."

"It was a long time ago… they have not walked yet ..."

"You can go out with your friends... I'll be fine with them three here, we are going to watch cartoons and eat popcorn and have a great time…. right kids..."

Emily kissed each one of the children on the cheek, planted a kiss on Hotch's lips and went out to go out with JJ and Penelope for the ladies' night. It had passed so much time since the last time.

The ladies agreed to meet in a cozy club with music. They talked, drank a little, danced, they were having a great time. After much dancing, they sat at the table; they were talking, when Penelope cell rang:

"Hi my delicious chocolate with chili..."

JJ laughed sheepishly, Emily did an interrogation face.

"Yeah, I'm having great time with my two girlfriends... But you can wait for me completely naked… because the greater fun is really gonna to start right there beneath your sheets..."

JJ laughed now, without shyness. Emily increased the interrogation face, mouth opened (of cooooouuurrrseeee).

"Hey, hey, before hanging up ... I love you."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh…. How sweet…." JJ teased.

And then Penelope hung up. Emily looked at her as if she was asking a question with her eyes... and Penelope looked at JJ:

"Should I tell her?" All smiles.

"mmmmm…. I think she deserve to know". JJ answered sweetly.

Penelope looked at Emily with the cutest smile in the world stamped on her face and shot talking:

"Derek and I….. are dating…. And….. when he isn't on a case….. we're under his or my sheets… aaaaaand… it's the most delicious thing in the world…and I'm so happy..…"

As Penelope spoke, Emily's mouth opened and opened, and the forehead furrowed, her face freezing, her expression closing.

Penelope stopped talking while she was realizing the reactions on Emily's face. She became serious:

"What is it…. Emily… I thought you'd be happy for me..." Penelope asked, innocently.

Emily tried to disguise:

"Oh .. Pen… I am ! It's just…. That… I…. I worry about Hotch… if Strauss know about it…."

It was a BIG and shameless lie. She was deeply offended and jealous. How could he have sworn love to me and now this. Emily was a good person, she had a really good character, but she could not help herself, she was too selfish. She was raised alone, surrounded by everything she ever wanted just for her, without having to share with anyone, but damn, Derek was not a thing; he was a person, and a person who she herself had thrown out.

Everyone noticed the malaise. Penelope was not a profiler, but JJ was, she could read Emily straight. Penelope was a little confused:

"You have feelings for him, Emily?"

Emily frowned, she did disgusted face; it was the best mask she had:

"No… I mean…. just friendship…. I'm very happy for you, Pen, for you two..."

But that answer did not convince.

To break the bed mood and change the subject, JJ asked:

… "And how are things with Hotch?"

"Oh…Much better... We talked and we settled things... We have three children to raise, right…" Bitter smile.

"Oh…Don't tell me you are together just because of it..." JJ pointed.

"Oh…No…No….of course not…. I love him…."

They stayed there for a while, danced, talked. Nearly at 1 am, they decide to leave. In the parking lot:

"Look… Pen…don't get me wrong… I'm happy for you… Just don't let Strauss knows... this can screw Hotch…" Emily said.

She got in her car and left. JJ lived near Morgan, so she was giving Penelope a ride. They were in JJ's car, JJ was going to leave Penelope at his place. On the way home, in the car:

"Do you think Emily acted that way, only because of Hotch? Penelope asked.

JJ thought for a moment before replying:

"I don't know, Pen...It's so complicated, they used to be so close…"

"Yeah, I know, I always known he had a crush on her…."

"Yeah… we'll know, including Hotch. Morgan never made a point of hide it… we just don't know how deep this feeling is… I mean… was…." JJ correct, she didn't want to hurt her friend.

"… I always had my doubts if Emily had that crush on him too…"

"Oh .. no Pen, she always wanted Hotch, since… forever…since the first day…. I was there the moment they met each other… I could feel in the air…With Morgan is… I don't know, maybe …possession….Maybe the idea she won't have him anymore for her… the idea of losing him…"

"JJ, She is not losing him, they can still be friends…"

"I know Pen, but… when we do the next step… it's hard get back just what we were before… got it?"

"They didn't do the next step…"

"Deep down we don't know… we just assume that she never would hide it from us… the fact is… she got used to him always next to her, always there for her, always spoiling her… we almost can see her name on his face…" JJ joked.

"JJ, can you find out it for me?" Penelope asked, insecurely.

"Find out what? How?" JJ asked, unresigned.

"Talk to her… ask about him... she'll open herself to you…"

"Look, Pen, you don't need to worry about her, seriously, even because she loves Hotch, I'm pretty sure of it. She never is going to hurt him, she never is going to make anything to ruin her relationship with him and risk her family…What you need to worry is about DEREK feelings…Ask yourself if he really loves you the way you deserve; if you two are really building something strong and lasting or just wasting time… to ending hurt…"

Penelope just heard her friend speak.

"Because, Pen, is sad, but I'm going to say, if is because the last one, it's a very dangerous way… Sometimes we want something so bad, that we just don't see things as they really are…"

"Thank you, JJ, have I already say that I love you…"

"Yeahhh…"

The two made the rest of the way chatting merrily. But the conversation has been properly recorded in Penelope's mind.

Arriving home, Emily went to check on babies, who were sleeping peacefully. She went then to her bedroom. Hotch was lying, he woke up when she entered the bedroom.

"Hi." She whispered to him. "I'll take a shower…"

He went back to sleep.

Still in the bathroom while passing cream through her body, she stopped in front of the huge mirror. He stared at her naked body for a long time. Despite the scars, she had a beautiful body, perfect, a little too thin, but still perfect. She stayed admiring herself for a while, in order to assert her self esteem. Suddenly, the conversation of that night, with the girls, invaded her mind, especially the part where Penelope mentioned that the fun would be greater under the sheets with Morgan. She wondered what they would must be doing right now. She surprised herself thinking about Morgan's body of …'those strong muscles'…. he was really hot. She bit her lip and shook those thoughts out of her mind. After that, she returned to the bedroom and quickly entered into under the covers, Hotch woke up again and turned to lie facing her:

"How was with the girls?" He said sleepily.

"It was great as always… I missed these meetings ..." sexy voice.

"Good…"

It was dark, but he could look at her because of the little moonlight that filled the room.

"…I'm a little cold, can you hold me?" Emily asked with a very teasing and sexy voice. It was an excuse, she wasn't cold at all.

'Oh dear God, with the need that I am, you don't make this woman provoke me and then throw me a bucket cold water', he thought.

Wasting no time, he hugged Emily, only then he realized she was completely naked. He pulled away to face her, her mouth was slightly open, breathing rapidly. Hotch kissed her deeply. While he kissed her on the mouth and on everywhere on top of her body, she slipped her hand between his legs, he was so hard that it made her forget all about the Morgan's body and concentrate right there in that body that was right there in front of her.

"I want you inside me…I want you so bad…" She whispered in his ear, her voice was trembling of desire.

And Hotch, as always, did not disappoint her. He did Emily come several times during the night, he was very good at it, very good. He did her come in several ways and several times, he knew very well how to satisfy a woman, even that woman being so tough as Emily Prentiss, he almost turned she inside out (figuratively, of course.); and he took off it that the delay almost a year without sex or having to solve things by himself. After hours of hot sex, they fell exhausted. Panting, sweaty, almost voiceless, he managed to speak:

"I wish you to go out more often with your friends…"

Emily, sweaty, panting, breathing hard, rose slightly to reach his face and:

"I love you"…. and she planted a light kiss on his mouth.

They slept embraced, exhausted but completely happy that night.

At Morgan's place, more specifically in his bed; after having made love, not as intensely as Hotch and Emily, but good too; Penelope asks:

"Derek…. do you love me?"

"Oh… no… Penelope, please…. not now."

"I need to know if you forgot Emily…"

"I'm in the same place since our last conversation…"

"I didn't understand very well that conversation about "toys".

"She is the toy that I won't have, never…."

"You think it's only desire, sex, physical attraction, chemistry, or do you love her?"

"Penelope….. please….. we just made love….. you have to bring Emily into the midst of us? You really want to do this now?"

Penelope shut up and they ended up sleeping.

* * *

Two months later, Emily was going to BAU in order to deliver the invitation two-year anniversary of the twins. No way that Hotch was going to do that. Emily left the twins with Joanne, and before pick up Jack in school, she passed at BAU. She stepped into the elevator; but before the elevator door closes, a figure appeared hasty holding the door: Derek Morgan. He entered. The door closed. They just looked at each other. She was wearing a black skirt at the knees, and a red shirt buttoned in front, but with a few buttons opened. She clutched the strap of her purse that was on her shoulder. He broke the silence:

"…You look very well…" The most charming way he could be.

"Thank you."

Silence

"…I heard about you and Penelope…"

Silence

"…I'm glad you have overcome the love you said you felt for me." Her sarcasm yelling.

The elevator was about to open the door on their floor. But Morgan had time to say something more….. using even more all his charm:

"…the love…. I don't know if I'm over…maybe ... (he looked up and down her body, stopping into her eyes) ... but I still want you in my bed…"

And he flew out of the elevator, leaving Emily there, mouth super open, a heat throughout the body, she almost fell down the legs. Although she was very happy and in love with Aaron Hotchner, hear it from a Derek Morgan makes any woman's legs tremble. Her body acted that way, but her mind was more like this: ….'what a son of bitch!'….

Emily was at the JJ's office handing her the invitation. They were the only two women there, they talked a bit:

"Emily, things between you and Morgan really ended up?"

Emily received it as an offense; after all, she was practically a married woman, and with the love of her life!

"Me and Morgan? I never had anything with Morgan! Disgusting face.

"I know… I mean… I'm trying to help Pen… Did he stop chasing you?" JJ said, gently, as always, trying to fix the situation.

"I'm sorry for my reaction….JJ…. it's sad, but I think Morgan doesn't love her…. The way she deserves…"

"AND I THINK THIS IS NOT OF YOUR BUSINESS…..You're just JEALOUS because we're together….. Hotch is not enough for you?" Said a very angry voice yelling at the door: Garcia.


	34. Chapter 34

**I OWN NOTHING  
**

Emily instantly turned to Penelope, raising both hands on stop sign:

"You know what? I'm done with this... I said nothing... I am no longer here..."

And she did her feet outside the JJ's office.

Penelope looked at JJ and asked:

"What else did she say?"

She said nothing more... I mean... she said she never had anything with him..."

"What do you think?"

"Pen... I think... you know... a woman, deep ...deep down, always know if a man loves her, every woman has this kind of feelings..., then I think you have to stop asking around, and ask yourself, and listen only to your heart..."

Leaving there, Emily entered the first room she saw the door open: David Rossi's office.

"Hi, may I speak with you for a minute?"

"Hi Emily, of course, come in, sit down..."

"No thanks, it's really quickly... I just want to give the birthday invitation of... my children!"

"That's nice!"

The invitation had a photo of the children, then Rossi said:

"They are really beautiful... Congratulations, Emily… you and Aaron did o good job!"

"Yeah...they really are… I can't believe they are almost 2!"

"I'm happy to see that you and Aaron settle things...and are happy. We can notice happiness in him..."

"Yeah...I'm very happy too..."

"Hold this, Emily... and don't let be fooled by fleeting emotions..."

Emily's expression closed to a worried face.

"Why… are… you… telling… me… this?" She said slowly and low.

"Nothing special... I'm just saying... I made a lot of mistakes in my life, but those who were most irreparably are the ones that ruined the most important department of my life...and are the ones makes myself most regret….and everything… just because of passionate fleeting desires... So, I guess I just want to pass this advice along...share it..."

Emily was speechless. 'After that, better keep my mouth closed', she thought.

"Well, I better go... I wait you there..."….. 'let me take off my feet pretty quickly from here, from this ultra experienced profiler's office…' she thought. She felt inside out there.

"And I'll be there..."

Emily left Rossi's office and went to see Hotch. She opened the door and entered his office.

"Hi… I came to deliver the invitations to the team…"

He opened the most adorable smile at her. It was as if the day had lit up that hour. She felt warmed by his smile. He got up and walked toward her. He allowed himself to give her a kiss.

"….You are beautiful…"

"mmmmm thank you…" She murmured. "…You are also so hot in that suit…"

"Well, you better go 'cause I'm not responsible for my actions if you stay…" he joked.

"I spent six years trying to grab you right here inside your office…"

This time, the kiss was already hot, long and deep. Emily panties, soaked. And Hotch's pants, well, he felt discomfort in his tight underwear.

"….Unfortunately…..(Emily said interrupting the kiss)…. I have to go…."

"No, please….." He pleaded.

"….You really want to have sex in your office, Mr. Aaron Hotchner?" She laughed.

"…You make me lose my mind…"

She laughed. She ran her hand lightly on his crotch, over his pants, he was really hard, as she kissed his mouth, she said:

"Keep it that way as well, for later…. Now, I really have to get Jack in school…"

They gave one last kiss and she left. She quickly went into the Penelope's office. Penelope just looked at her, saying nothing.

"Look, Pen, I really want you there… if not for myself… but for them, they really love you…"

Penelope just got the invitation and turned to look at the screens of their computers.

Emily came out, went downstairs to leave, Reid was not there, so she left the invitation in his drawer, it was not gone unnoticed by Morgan. She had not prepared an invitation for him because she was used to he never went in the events at her house. When she walked passing by him to go, she lowered (he was sitting at his desk), right into his ear, she said:

"…consider yourself very lucky… I'll keep only to myself what you cheekily said me in the elevator…"

She stared at him for a second; time enough for him to wink at her, smirking and saying:

"…This will be our little secret…"

She opened her mouth and out indignantly stomped toward the elevator. He was laughing at her reaction.

In the elevator, she thought: 'this has to stop… he has to respect me... motherfucker... he has to respect me… he has to respect the Penelope…. But dammit, he's always been like that…"

At Penelope's office:

"Hey, baby girl….Did you make that research for me?"

"What research are you talking about?"

He went right close to her ear:

"That one about all the sexual positions that we have not done yet…"

Penelope felt a shiver through her body.

"Derek… not here…"

Despite the shiver, she thought it was very daring from his part. She was a romantic girl, dammit. Then she turned her chair to face him:

"Derek, let's make things clear here: I am not those women that you were used to take to bed…"

"What did I say wrong…."

"Just reflect, and then somewhere else, we talked about it…"

He did not give much importance to that. He took the birthday invitation that Emily had brought, which was on Penelope's table.

"When will it be?"

"It is written there on the invitation… But I don't know if I'll go…"

Morgan surprised:

"Why not?"

She didn't want to go into details, even less, talk about Emily. Before she opens her mouth, he said:

"We can go together…"

Now, she was surprised:

"And shows Hotch that we're together?"

"Not really…. We can disguise when we been there… It will be as if I had given you a ride…"

"I'll think about it…..now leave…"

* * *

On that night, there was a little party going on, on Emily and Hotch's bed, a party with five people: Emily, Hotch, Jack, Thomas and Paget. Emily was giving baby bottle to Thomas, who was in her arms; Paget was lying right next to her father, feeding herself alone holding her pink baby bottle (a small Prentiss, almost only two years old and already doing things by herself), and Hotch was reading stories for Jack.

"…This story is boring, Dad…"

"…Wow…You used to love this story…"

"I know…But now it sounds boring... It's a story for little children…"

Emily just stared, amused.

Hotch glanced at her. She murmured:

"He is eight already…. It's time to review your repertoire…"

And all of them were there a little longer, until the children fell asleep. Emily was lying on her side, on her pillow, the three children asleep pacifically in the middle, and Hotch on another point, supporting one elbow on his pillow, looking at Emily.

"Look at this…" Hotch said, point with his eyes to the children.

"What?"

"I wanna thank you for this… I never thought that I would have so much happiness like this…our kids, our family…"

"Yeah… me too…you have made this too…"

"I love you!" Those stunning eyes said.

She smiled, her face lit up; she replied.

"I love you too…"…

She jumped the kids carefully in order to not wake them; she sat over his lap, one leg in each side of him; she hugged the top of his body, and said sexy soft voice right in his ear:

"Now go take the kids to their bedroom, I need their dad make their mother here to sleep…" She passed her tongue lightly at his earlobe, making him shiver of desire; he pulled her face for a deep kiss. Jack began to stir. Hotch went, then take the children one by one, to their beds.

* * *

On the same night, Morgan was at Penelope's place. She was trying to watch some movie on TV. He was teasing her all the time. Derek Morgan was a kind of person that or he was with a gun in his hands hunting unsubs, or he was on bed inside someone. He was really insatiable.

"C'mon, baby girl, drop this film…" He spoke as he ran his hands all over her body.

"No… I'm not in the mood….. I want to finish watching this movie…."

But he was really insistent.

"Derek, stop….. otherwise I'll wash the toilet bowl with your toothbrush…."

"You know what, I'm leaving…"

He got up, put on his jacket and left, leaving Penelope, there, stunned, sitting on the couch. He went straight to his house, because if he stopped to think he would be able to call to any of his ex lovers sluts.

* * *

Emily and Hotch were making love like crazy. They fucked most part of the night until they fall exhausted. After falling exhausted, they were lying, embraced:

"Emily ..."

"mmm?" She could not even talk.

"After their birthday party…. We've to decide the wedding date…"

"What makes you think I still want to marry you?" Soft and sexy voice; she joked.

For a moment, Hotch frowned and thought: 'I can not be hearing this.' Then, he….

"What makes me think?... Maybe this…. (and he kissed her mouth) or maybe the chills that I make you feel…. or perhaps the times that I make you groan with pleasure…. or the times that I make you scream for me not to stop… or for the times I make you beg for more and more….. or maybe because I love you and want you for the rest of my life…"

When he realized he was already over her, kissing her everywhere, sweaty bodies with pleasure; in times like this, they felt like they were one.

"….Tell me, Emily, you still want to marry me? ...Do you still want?... Do you?..."

As he asked, he was pushing inside her, fucking her again until she screamed:

"Yes, yes, yes ..."

She turned to be over him, to be in charge of another round of pleasure.

As she rode over him with energy, she spoke:

"Of course I want to marry you, you're my man, my protector, my life, my lust, my everything, you are my life Aaron Hotchner…"

A few more moments of pleasure and they fell exhausted again; and finally slept.

* * *

Three in the morning, Penelope's cell vibrates with a message:

"…sorry I left like that..."

**Hi guys, thanks for the comments. I love it. I hope I made clear that Emily loves Hotch, but she feels an attraction to Derek (I personally think he's irresistible lol), anything can happen in a story, but I report to you that it is very unlikely that Emily will want to risk her happiness and structured marriage because of a repressed desire, and still hurt a dear friend (Penelope). What do you think? Don't be mad with me, pleaseeee…. Because I don't have in my mind make Emily cheat on Hotch. Next chapter almost done. The twin's birthday party!**


	35. Chapter 35

**I Own Nothing!**

It was a beautiful Saturday morning, Emily and Hotch were working on the final preparations of the twins' birthday party. They were in the garden outside the house, filling balloons and finalizing the décor. Emily had ordered two cakes: one with girl's ornaments, and another with boy's ornaments. There were lots of other goodies, candy, and games for children, birthday hat, and all little things festive. Little Paget mumbled something like:

"Mommy, is that today I'll wear my princess clothes?"

"Yeahh... sweetie... it's today. It's your birthday party!" Emily replied excitedly to her daughter.

"Me and Tommy huh, Mommy...?"

"Yeah darling... yours and Thomas'... very good..."

Hotch just stared, amazed at each new word her daughter spoke.

"Daddy, I wanna go there in the treehouse ..."

"Not now, Jack, please, if you go there, Thomas will want to go after you, and we're kind busy here..."

"But, Dad..."

"Jack... we finished here with the balloons and then we go ok... you've promised helping us on this, remember?"

Hotch threw a balloon to Jack. Thomas loved to play with his older brother; where Jack was, Thomas was behind.

* * *

Across the city, Morgan and Penelope were at the mall to buy a gift for the twins. Penelope had bought a doll for Paget, and a little cart for Thomas; they were in a restaurant inside the mall for lunch.

"So... why did you decide to go on their birthday party?"

"I'm going to do company for you, Penelope..."

"On me... Derek Morgan, please..."

"It's true, Penelope..."

"...You're going because of Emily..."

"Of course not, Penelope... I mean, Emily is my friend since...forever... those are her children... so... I think it's pretty natural for me to want to go..."

"...But you never wanted to go..."

...Yeah...But I think we've overcome some things... I think my friendship with her... is... you know... getting back to normal..."

* * *

At Hotchner's, everything was ready for the party. Emily was finishing tidying children. Hotch was receiving guests in the garden. The garden was beautiful, decorations everywhere, and was playing songs for children all the time. Already there were parents of Emily, JJ, Will and Henry; Rossi; Reid, some of Hotch's BAU colleagues and their families; and some Jack's school buddies that Emily had made friends with their mothers.

Emily was wearing a white dress, basic, at the knees, hair slightly curly. She was standing; with Paget in her arms, dressed in princess; talking to the mother of a friend of Jack. Suddenly, Paget began to move, wanting to get off the arms of her mother, saying:

"Aunt, Pen!"

Emily put the girl on the ground, which ran into Penelope's arms.

"Excuse me..." Emily said to the woman, and went after her daughter.

"Hi, Pen, I'm glad you came!"

Penelope was already with the little girl in her arms, she said, imitating the voice of a child.

"And how would I not come to the party of my little princess?"

…And Paget happy in Penelope's arms. Penelope knew how to win a child. Penelope did not care for Emily. It was like she was not there. Morgan realized that Emily was a little embarrassed and:

"Nice party, Emily."

"Thank you... Derek, I'm glad you came too… Well, get yourselves comfortable..."

Emily withdrew herself closely.

"...You have to be so nasty, Penelope?"

"And you have to be so nice?"

The rest of the party was lovely, they sang Happy Birthday to you; children running everywhere, Hotch and Emily talking to the guests, typical child party. At 7 pm, the most of the guests had already left; Emily was in the twins' bedroom, changing Paget's clothes, who had spilled a glass of juice on her dress. Emily was finishing dressing the girl with a set of sweatpants, because it was already getting dark and cold, but there were some people still in there. She got Paget ready, got the little girl in her arms, she went to the hallway, Morgan appeared out of the blue.

"... wow...you scared me ! what are you doing here inside?"

"Sorry enter like that... but I wanted to talk to you..."

"Derek, please ..."

"Emily, we need to talk..."

"Not here, not now..."

"I know..."

"I also think we need to talk. Definitely..."

Paget was in her mother's arms, observing the conversation.

"...And you sweetie, little Emily…. you were so beautiful in that princess' dress!" Morgan said to the little girl, squeezing her cheek.

The girl turned her head quickly; hiding in her mother's neck, turning her face to him.

"Oh ...no…. Don't tell me your mother already taught you not to throw in the arms of Derek Morgan, here..."

Emily laughed a bit and said through gritted teeth:

"If it depends on me, she'll never get close to guys like you..."

Morgan laughed.

Not that Paget did not like Morgan, but she was not used to him, she hardly knew him; surprising is normal when children do not know the person.

"Now go first... about our talk... I'll call you..." Emily said.

Arriving at the garden, Emily went to sit at the table with JJ and Penelope that were talking. Paget was still in her lap, the girl was already getting sleepy.

"Emily, the party was beautiful... congratulations..."

"Thanks JJ, I'm getting experienced in that thing of children's party..." Emily joked.

"Yeah... me too... after five birthday parties of Henry..."

Thomas was trying to climb the lap of his mother.

"Oh, Tommy, go to daddy, baby, pleaseee..."

"No, mommy..."

The little boy also wanted his mother's lap. So Emily got one child in each arm, each one sat on each Emily's leg.

"Oh... how sweet...I'll take a pic..." JJ said, taking her cell phone from her purse.

"They are very attached to you, aren't they?"

"JJ... the fact is...I never separated from them... only that time of the kidnapping and the hospital, otherwise, I never separated from them, every day, during all day, we're always together, since they born; and Hotch is always traveling…I'm even worried when they had to go to school..."

"Yeah, but you have to enjoy this moment... After they grow up, there is not turning back... and they grow up so fast..."

Penelope was quiet the whole time, listening to the conversation between mothers.

"And you… Pen….don't get excited?" JJ teased her.

"What?"

"Children? You …. Morgan?"

"Oh JJ... We're not even a couple..."

"…You were together…. you came together ..." JJ pointed.

Penelope remained quiet.

"Pen, you don't need to keep things from me… I would never tell something of your private life to Aaron…. You can trust me…." Emily said, sweetly.

"I decided not to talk more about my personal life to anyone…"

Both Emily and JJ were surprised by that, but Emily knew it was for her.

"Now, I'm noone? …..Pen, It's me: Emily!"

"Yeah ! But you really are messing up my life, Emily ! I want to make it clear: I only came here today because of these children that I learned to love, but only God knows the sacrifice that it is for me to be here now….Look at this house Emily; look at your husband, look at your healthy and beautiful children; look at your bank account; look at your perfect family, look at your perfect life, that is the dream of 101% of all women on the planet... and you're not satisfied... all of this is not enough for you... Just when I was beginning to believe that I could have a real life outside the computer...outside the virtual world... I was beginning to believe that someone could love me for real, without faking characters inside a screen to fill my needs... And you, Emily, you're ruining everything... I just wonder why...I'm sorry to be talking about this in front of these innocent children, who have absolutely nothing to do with it, I'm really, really sorry, but honestly I don't think I want to see your face again... by the way, I'm going…"

As Penelope spoke, Emily's eyes were filling with tears, but she didn't dare to open her mouth and discuss it in front of her children. Then she heard everything quiet, in silent. Her mouth opening more and more as every word Penelope was saying; and frowning.

She kissed the face of JJ, Paget and Thomas, and left. Emily got a lump in her throat and tears wanting to fell. JJ made the most sadness face she could.

"What do I do, JJ?"

"It's complicated. I honestly don't know…" JJ said.

The tears fall when she saw Penelope leave the party along with a worried face of Morgan, he glanced at her; of course he had seen everything.

Paget saw the tears streaming down the face of her mother and began to cry too. Hotch noticed and came to her aid.

"….You could help me right here!" Emily said a little angrily.

"Hey, calm down, I didn't know you had both….wait… Are you crying…. what happened?"

Nothing... I was remembering some things and it moved me.

Hotch took Thomas in his arms, but the boy began to cry and hitting the legs. He also wanted the mother's lap, they were at that stage to compete for their mother's lap. Actually, it was night, and the kids were very tired, they had played fairly, and it had already become a party of adults. Then Emily asked JJ help to put them to sleep.

Emily left JJ in the twins' bedroom with them, and went to the kitchen preparing baby bottles. She returned to the bedroom, she was changing Thomas for pajamas:

…."Look at you…. look at those dirty feet…. Tell me if it's the most child dirty of Mommy…."

But Emily was not going to deal with baths now. The children were sleepy and she did not want to waken them. She was giving a baby bottle to Thomas and Paget was feeding alone, holding her own baby bottle. Meanwhile, she was talking to JJ. The children fell sleep very quickly, so Emily and JJ went to talk at Emily's bedroom. In the living room were Rossi, Will and Hotch talking. Jack and Henry were playing video game. Everyone else were gone already.

"….JJ is not my fault Derek chasing me…... I never wanted anything with him, seriously... I did feel a very strong physical attraction for him…I just didn't put myself in bed with him 'cause he came with this talk that he was in love with me… Derek is hot and he knows this…And I have to admit, if he wasn't in love, It would have happened; before Hotch, of course….. but it was **never love** what I felt for him. I always made it very clear for him..."

"And… all this 'attraction' you felt …..there's nothing left?" JJ asked, curiously.

"JJ… we cannot deny he is hot… sexy… he is! ... and he'll be for decades still... If I didn't have anyone, he would be an option to animate my lonely nights, but I'm not risking what I have…"

"So… you do have an attraction on him?"

"Who don't ? Don't you?"

"Yeah… He is a 'thing'!" JJ confessed.

"As I said before, I never went to bed with him, because he was sentimentally involved…But now… I'm with Aaron, I'm very happy with him… and he is 'thing' on bed….You can not imagine… He makes me travel to the moon… He makes me see stars… It's is impossible to describe…besides, I love him! He is my man! That profiler and FBI agent that I was, with guns and stuff, he turned me on a mother and a housewife, and I'm **very happy** with that…. I don't want another life…But everything I have now, It was a long and hard road…"

"Penelope was very unhappy in her speech, and she pointed the gun at you while she should point to Morgan…" (Figurative)

"Yeah… I'm so sad… It was unfair, JJ. That day I went to deliver the invitations at BAU, he came up with jokes on me again. I don't think this is something that a man who is in love does…"

"…. Yeah…But… Emily, on that day, our ladies night, when you knew they were together, the expression of your face changed automatically…. It was noticeable..." JJ pointed and raised her eyebrows.

"Like you said, it was automatic, yeah, I felt a little jealous….You know… it's selfishness…. I do feel like he is mine… My parents raised me I having everything I wanted... as much as I don't want it… it is on me…..I always liked Derek; our connection was instant from the first day we met; our confidence has always been strong and mutual; forever; those six years we coexist almost daily ... I don't know... Derek was the person who made me feel I was not alone, and I could count on somebody… for a long time, since Mathew... And I know that if I need anything, no matter what, I know he'll be there for me ... 'Always' like himself said… With Aaron was a long walk until I could feel that he really cares about me…. JJ, when I went to tell him I was pregnant, which was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, he asked if the child was his! With the greatest coolness, and still later he said he knew the child was his and that he had done this to hurt me…that's scared me a lot… so I had to run away… It's been one year since I was kidnapped, but only two months ago we were able to settle things… My life is not so beautiful as Penelope described…And to finish this subject, if I can't be with Morgan, because I love Aaron and my family, I wish he with her, but I really want him in love with her, and not just playing around…"

"Yeah, I totally get you…"

Hotch opened the bedroom door.

"JJ, Will is calling to go…"

They left and Emily ducked in the hot tub to relax while Hotch took care to collect the cat, and put Jack to bath and to bed. He locked the whole house and went to his room, he opened the bathroom door and:

"The water looks good, you want company?"

She just smiled at him.

"I'll take that as a yes…"

She smiled even more. He stepped into the tub opposite to hers, so that they were facing each other.

"Did you enjoy the party?"

"Yes… the kids enjoyed themselves greatly…"

"So you're gonna tell me why you were crying?"

Emily looked at him; she lowered her eyes, searching for words. It is better to speak and not hide anything from him. That's confidence, right.

"Penelope hurt me…"

"Why?"

"She blames me for her bad relationship with Morgan…"

Deep down, Emily knew that Hotch knew about Morgan and Garcia dating. And Hotch knew that Emily knew he knew. After all, they were the world's best profilers.

"From him, I tolerate, I don't care; but I will not tolerate little games from you…So….I'm gonna ask you just one time, Emily…. Is Morgan still pursuing you?"

**And now guys,she tells him the truth? Next chap almost done! And soon… THE WEDDING!**


	36. Chapter 36

I own nothing.

"From him, I tolerate, I don't care; but I will not tolerate little games from you…So….I'm gonna ask you just one time, Emily…. Is Morgan still chasing you?"

"No ! Of course not !... The thing is… we have been friends since….. always, and we're trying to forget the past and …..be like friends again…. without ulterior motives...I hope this is not a problem for you..."

Emily was not going to tell him about the episode of the elevator, she chose to take that as one more jokes of Morgan. And she knew if she told it to Hotch, somehow, eventually this could harm Morgan at work.

"Ok I believe you..."

Emily approached him, sat on his lap, hugging his body with her legs, and her arms. And they fell for a passionate kiss. She broke the kiss to look into his eyes:

"Have I already told you I love you today?"

Hotch made a very cute face, pretending to be thinking ... and smiling (beautiful and charming dimples), he replied:

"I don't remember..."

Emily, then started planting kisses all over his face, alternating: I love you... I love you... I love you... I love you... I love you... I love you... I love you...

Two weeks later, the team was returning from a case that made them spend ten days in Florida. They're back at BAU. It was a lunchtime Thursday. Morgan was in the file room, when his cell phone vibrated. He felt a stab in the heart when he saw a smiling Emily Prentiss emblazoned on the screen of his phone.

"Hi princess..."

"Hi Derek... Can you talk?"

"Yes, I can, I'm just filing a report..."

"Ok, It's quickie. I'm calling to settle our meet, to talk..."

"For now... I'm free tonight..."

"At night... I can't... and you know that."

"Tomorrow, at lunchtime… if I don't be in a case..."

"Ok... Deal... if you be in a case, you tell me…. Otherwise it's deal tomorrow, at lunch, then..."

Next day:

"Joanne, I have an appointment at lunchtime, and I'm leaving now and only come back with Jack, after school; anything you need, anything that happens with children, you call me, ok…."

"And you two… be nice with Joanne…" Emily kissed the twins and left.

Before turn on the car, she called Morgan:

"Hey… I'm going…"

"Nice…"

"I just don't know where…"

"My place…"

"Oh… no… Derek… Never!"

"Wow princess, afraid of what?" charming… charming… charming…

"Afraid of nothing, Derek, I just prefer…(she stopped talking to think)… a…. public place…"

"mmmm…..This is sounding to me like a lovers' meeting…." Morgan teased.

"Derek… stop…" Emily said through gritted teeth.

"Relax, princess. I'm just kidding. Alright… I'm sending an address of a nice restaurant…we meet there ok…"

And they went; Morgan leaving the BAU and Emily leaving her home, toward a restaurant far away from the city. They had to take the highway. Emily, guided by GPS:

"What the hell? Why did it have to be so far…" She protested.

As she didn't know the way to the restaurant, he was the first to arrive there. He chose a table in the outdoor area, a kind of terrace, with lovely views. There were very few people in there, 'cause it was very far from the city and it was a working day. Morgan was wearing jeans and a gray shirt. Emily was wearing jeans and a dark blue shirt, basic. She entered the restaurant, looking for him discreetly with her gaze.

'My God, why I have this such a feeling that I'm doing something terribly wrong...' She rambled.

Morgan had noticed her arrival, since she parked the car until the moment she was planted at the door of the restaurant looking for him discreetly, but he did not bother to call her, he was having so much fun just watching her. It didn't take too long for her to realize he was sitting at the last table outside the restaurant with a glass of beer in front of him. She walked up to him and:

"I'm gonna tell your boss you're drinking during working hours" ... She sat up.

"You're also gonna tell that I was justly in the company of his wife?"

Emily looked at him, lowered her eyes, bit her lip.

"Derek…. This has to stop…" softly and slowly voice.

"What has to stop?"

"This jokes… this little games…"

"I always joked with you, Emily… I'm just trying to get back our friendship…"

"Yeah… but now… I'm with Hotch, I'm gonna marry him… I'm in a different situation now…"

"So… we're supposed to change the way we've been with each other, since always, for years… because of that?"

"Yes….Derek… it's been almost three years since I left BAU….I don't think we're be able to jump this time and go back in the past and pretend we're colleagues like always…"

"Sorry… you said colleagues?"

The talk was getting tense.

"My mistake to think we're something else…like friends…" He said in a very sarcastic tone.

"We are friends Derek…..(pause)….. look at me…..I love you…"

Morgan, very angry, arms crossed and leaning against the chair:

"Yeah… you love me, let me guess… 'not the way you deserve, not the way you want', what excuse more you used to say?" Sarcastic.

"These are not excuses…(long pause)… Morgan… I came here to settle things with you, not to fight…."

"I'm sorry… What do you want me to do?" Let's be directly here.

"I want you to stop saying these things to me…stop chasing me…"

He leaned a little to stay very close to her face and say looking right into her eyes:

"IF you tell me you don't like it, I'll stop…"

And he continued to defy her with his gaze, waiting for her answer. They were so close that anyone could tell that they were going to kiss, their luck was that the restaurant was practically empty.

"Derek, of course I like it; it feeds my ego; it's good for my ego. Which woman would not like a man like you flirting her all the time, let's be honest here…..But tell me: this satisfies you? Don't you want to be in a full relationship with someone?"

"Yes, I want Emily … With you!"

"Well…..That's in not going to happen!" Emily was very firm in her answer.

"I know… But…tells it for my heart… tells it for my brain….. that don't stop thinking about you even for a second of my existence…I think about you all the time, Emily….I'm with Penelope, she is a wonderful person, I'm trying hard to forget you, I'm trying hard to fall in love with her, 'cause I know rationally it is the best form me now…I'm trying hard doing the right things for the good of everybody, but listen carefully to me Emily: this seems so wrong every time we made love, I fell like I'm the most son of a bitch of the world….you know why? ….(pause)… 'cause when I close my eyes, you pop up to my mind… shamelessly, without invitation, and I like it, I enjoy it…. And I freak with fear about let slip your name…I can't not control it… (long pause) …"

"Derek… I'm so sorry…"

"That's okay, I know that I have to discuss this with her, not you…"

"I'm really sorry…."

"Yeah… I know… I don't blame you Emily…We're adults here right… I completely understand the situation…and from now on, I'm not gonna joke with you anymore…"

"I thank you for that…"

They had asked for a meal, but neither ate nothing. They talked for a while longer. Morgan escorted Emily to her car.

In the parking lot:

"Emily, I called you here in the first place to say that I really like you, and I thought we could go back in time and rescue the friendship we had before, when we were partners no matter what; but now I know we can't, we just can't, ecause the circumstances of life… It's all clear to me now…"

"Derek….you did make the right way to my heart, but when you got there, it already belonged to someone else…but you'll always be my partner, my friend forever... You'll always be in my heart…"

They gave a tight and prolonged hug and left.

Emily was crying all the way to Jack school; a quiet cry, just shedding tears. She knew that was the end. She took Jack at school and was doing a different path from their home.

"Where are we going?" Jack asked.

"We're going to surprise Dad…"

Arriving at BAU, she greeted whoever was there, Morgan was not, in fact, Hotch had given him a day off, but Emily did not know that. She and Jack went to Hotch's office.

"Just come to say hi…" She said.

Hotch smiled at them, he hugged Jack that ran up to him.

"How was school?"

Emily kissed his lips and:

"I'll let you guys talking and I'm going to say hi to JJ…"

In fact, she went to talk to Garcia. She knocked on the Garcia's office door.

"Come in…"

Emily opened the door and entered. Only after a while Garcia turned to see who it was. The expression of her face shut when she saw it was Emily.

"Penelope, I don't care if you don't want to talk to me anymore, or see my face again, like you said…. but you are going to hear me, 'cause what you told me is still stuck here. So, when can we talk?"

"I don't wanna talk to you"…

Garcia was sat, Emily lowered to be face to face with her and:

"I heard all you said quiet, every word you said was like stab in my heart, and I heard everything quiet, in silence…. and now you're going to hear me. I'm going to your place tonight…"

Emily said that and left the room. She went to Hotch's office to take Jack to go home.

"I'm going with dad…"

"No, Jack, go with her… I don't have time to get home today…"

"Do you think it will take too long for you to get home tonight? Emily asked, concerned.

"I have a lot of work here, why, something wrong?"

"No, it's just… I need you to stay with the children tonight..."

Hotch just stared at her, waiting for more explanations.

"…It's that I combined with Penelope..."

He cut her: "Emily, you can go out another day…"

"Ah…We're not going out…. I mean…. I'm going to her place…. to talk ... Ok with you stay with the kids tonight?"

"I'll go as soon as possible…"

"Dad, let me stay with you, then…?"

"Ok…"

Emily gave a kiss on each one and left.

On the way home, Emily spent in front of a church, she parked; she stared at the church for a while; doing a quick retrospective of her life. She decided to enter. The church was empty, silent, Emily sat on a bench in the back of the church, she watched the beautiful sculptures and images that had within the church, trying to get familiar with that place that, until then, was somewhat hostile and had left a bitter taste in her existence.

Emily, at this point of her life, knew that priests were nothing more than ordinary men, error-prone, and that the only thing that could make them different was that they knew about the word of God more than other people; but any ordinary person can know too, it was just study the Bible. Then she took a deep breath and began her little prayer; more like a conversation with God.

"God…Hi… I just want to apologize…. forgive me for all my mistakes, for all the wrong things that I've done in my life… forgive me for my lies, for my wrong thinking, for my weaknesses..."

Just imagine what she was going to say now, she began to shed a few tears.

"... Forgive me for…. I have killed my baby ... if the Lord can forgive me ... because I can no longer carry this guilt ... I was just fifteen…It was a long time ago, but it feels like was yesterday…God… please… forgive me for that…Take care of my children that are already there… with you…"

"I also wanna thank you for my family, for my love, my partner for life, Aaron, for he exists in my life, so I could live a true love, without fear, without being afraid all the time; and God, thank you so much for my little children, that you've trusted me to take care of; Paget and Thomas, and also Jack, that I learned to love as a son. Thank you for my friends, JJ, Penelope, Derek, my little boy Spencer, take good care of Spencer and his health, Dave, Clyde, also for my friends that are already gone, thank you for my parents, that, in their way, I learned that they love me; and protect all of them; protect Aaron in the field, build a dome around him, so that nothing bad ever happens to him, and to my children…"

"…And that's it God, I promise come here more often, at least talk to you more often…"

So, Emily made her way to her house. She felt a little better, a little more relieved. It was difficult to get in touch with issues that, for her, were so well boxed and stored. But she wanted to get rid of all mental files, to enter a new phase of her life, not only because she was getting married, but for a complete surrender to her husband and children, she had to clean the brain, and the soul. It was necessary to empty the mental boxes, especially of the most painful memories. The church was just the first step, but the most important to her…

…At Penelope's place; on that night…

Penelope opened the door to Emily enter.

"Look, Emily, I accepted talk to you here in consideration of the long years we met..."

"And I want to tell you that I just came here to clarify things because I really care about you, I have a huge affection for you…After I say what I come to say, you make your decision if you really want give up our friendship…and I'll respect that…"

They both sat on a sofa.

"You described my life as a paradise. So, you are gonna listen, just a little, how this 'paradise' was build. You already know about my parents, that both of them was always traveling and we had to move a lot, to diferent countries and cultures... Even so, they were always traveling, and who took care of me since I was a baby were the employees; but I could barely talk to them, because my mother would not let; 'hierarchically', she said, I could not talk with employees. I hear it since I was ... began to walk...I was still in diapers, I did not even know what that meant, I just knew that I could not talk to them. Every time I went to a new school, I think I changed school a couple hundred times, I was always the weirdest and isolated person in the class, always... I was never able to build a bond of friendship at school; because I was a very closed person. Do you know with who I used to chat when I was a kid? With my dolls…. I only have they to talk with...but one day my mother saw …..I was just seven, she looked at me from my bedroom door with a look of disapproval, I still remember that look... very angry look, and she walked down the hallway of our house, screaming with my father that she had a delayed daughter, full of problems, and I was just one more problem for her, because she was going to have to take me to a psychologist and stuff... After that... I stopped to chat with the dolls because it seemed very wrong to me and I did not want to be one more problem for my mother. I started to talk to nobody. I stopped to play with my dolls… Sometimes, from my bedroom window, I could see the employees children playing at our garden, I used to spent the whole afternoon there just staring at them... and I wanted so bad to have a little bit of their happiness, they played so happy, but I did not dare to mingle with them, because I already had very well built walls around me, and my mother would never let me, even when she was not at home, she would know somehow…"

Emily was fighting back tears.

…."I had schedule for everything, my whole life with my parents was timed, and my grades in school had to be between 80 and 100. When it was smaller than 80, they punished me, and I had to take extra classes…"

"When I was fourteen, I met a guy, Mathew…"

"That one from the case…"

"Yeah… one day, the whole class was laughing at me, because the most popular girl in class shouted to everyone that I could be the ghost of Halloween party because I was too white and had black hair…. Everyone was laughing at me, and Matthew, who was also new at that school, he did not laugh, after everyone had gone he approached to me and asked me if I was okay. That was the most of affection that someone showed up for me my whole school life; so I clung to him…"

"….And was always with him and his friend, John. We were inseparable friends. One day it was Matthew's birthday party, I asked permission to my parents to go, my mother allowed because my grades that year were all 100, she told the driver to take me and pick me up, I would have a period of four hours to stay there. But once I was there I realized that there was no party... there were just him with some girl I didn't knew and John, his parents were traveling. I could not call my mom to pick me up, because if she knew that I was there just with those two guys, she would never let me see them again. After a short time I was there, Matthew was grabbing and kissing the girl on the sofa, I was sitting on the other sofa, John came up right next to me. He asked me if I already had kissed on the mouth; I looked at him and said 'no', and he said 'I'm gonna teach you', and then he kissed me… and I let...I was the needy person in the universe...and then… when I realized I was on Mathews parents bed, fucking with him… It was my first time, it was a really painful experience...but the worse was to come...Less than a month after that, I found out I was pregnant…it was my fifteen birthday party and my mother had arranged a huge party for me, to show to the high society... I was dying inside and nobody noticed nothing... John not talking to me anymore, and so I had to do something that I carry the guilt until now, and that hurts me in the soul…"

"…. You did an abortion..."

"Yeah…"

"I'll skip the other dark parts of my life, including college days; Interpol and Ian Doyle, because I'd need weeks to talk about that. I already was working at BAU, when Hotch and Haley got divorced, I still remember we were returning from a case in Fredericksburg...and a promoter came to deliver the divorce papers to him, and I asked 'what is that?' he answered me and he went out, it was the divorce, my eyes lit up, but then became sad in the sequence, because I saw how sad he was; but still I believed I could have my chance with him. I fell for him since the first day I saw him… And that feeling was growing nonstop during the years….and I trying so bad hide it… I've always had strong walls around me… But then I realized he was still connected with her, and even more with work, and he did not want to get involved, so I just kept that feeling for me, repress it inside me…..Penelope, I dated no one during all this years…six years…. when all episode Foyet happened and Haley died, I felt I should be by his side, supporting him…somehow, he even allowed me to do that, but later, he became increasingly cold and distant. I could understand, due to so much he suffered….. then that whole thing happened to me and I had to stay hidden in Paris, faking my dead, everybody thinking I was dead, except he and JJ; but for him, it was like I was dead…Penelope, he knew I was alive and away from everyone I loved and he never made a call, an email, anything. And He knew I was alone, unable to leave home; without talking to anyone. He just left me there...

"But I think it was to protect you...And looks like he had aged 10 years in that year. You can notice by pictures of him, he lost lots of weight and got old a lot in appearance…"

"…I don't know… I just know that when I came back here….. to my sad surprise, he was dating Beth… You have no idea how I felt... And I had to pretend everything was fine….. I was waiting for a chance for SIX YEARS, and when he was finally recovered from his looses, what did he do? Threw himself into the arms of another woman…. And I had to watch everything and faking I was happy for him..."

"I noticed your behavior on that day of his marathon, she was there..."

"You noticed, but you have no idea how I felt inside…"

"Even when we started dating, she came between us... (pause)... When I found out I was pregnant, the happiest day of my life, I ran to tell him and he asked me the colder way that he could, if the child was his…. so I ran away to London…"

"So Penelope, I'm going to stop talking 'cause I'm tired... but ...you can see my life now a days, and you think everything is beautiful and perfect… but I have scars on my body but the ones most hurt me are inside my soul, my memories...I and have to work it out e-v-e-r-y d-a-y to make them smaller day by day... as you see... I have a bag full of suffering… (pause)... do you know how it feels when your own lover throw you in the arms of a terrorist and you have to go to bed with him? ….You know how it feels when you fall in love with this terrorist and then you have to deliver him to the police… and then he came after you to take revenge and torture you and almost kill you, and you almost think you really deserve that…that's what I did... When I told Morgan to let me go... I meant let me there, to die…I thought I deserved that…. Do you any idea how it feels to be raped, Penelope? I'll save you from the details...

Emily was crying a lot now. Every tear she had held fell now.

"….Well…..As you could see Pen, my life is far from the paradise which you spoke…. And I didn't tell you neither ten percent about how my miserable life was..."

"I know everyone has problems and scars to deal with, but I wanted to make it clear to you that what you see on the outside may be perfect and beautiful ...because I want to give my children all the love and care that I didn't had, I don't want them to suffer, and I'll do everything I can to prevent this. But it is a daily battle with my inner struggles..."

"To finish this conversation; about Morgan, I wanna make clear to you once for all that I don't have, never had, I don't want anything with him... Is he hot? He is! What woman doesn't think he is cute, hot... I'm a woman... I think he's hot... I love him as a friend...I care about him...But I made my choice, it was Aaron, that I love, and my family... And Penelope... it's not my fault if the relationship between you two is not going well, that's between you and him... I wish the best for you two... It's the only thing I can do..."

"Now I'm leaving... I have a family waiting for me..."

"Emily, I'd like..."

"No, Pen, not today... just think about every word I said... then if you still wanna see my face again... You call me and we can talk..."

They gave a hug and Emily left.

She got home about 11 pm. Hotch was in the office. Emily oppened the door:

"Hi..."

"Hi... how was the talk?"

"Good... I'm going take a shower..."

"Ok..."

That night, they were already on bed, Emily hugged him and:

"I love you..."

"I love you too..."

**I'm sorry if it was a bit big, it is that story is almost over, and I had to add this.**


	37. Chapter 37

**I own nothing.**

…A month later, on Saturday morning. Emily's cell calling.

"Hey..."

"Hey..."

"Have you landed?"

"No...Actually, we got the wrong guy yesterday, we're still in Springfield, the case is complicated, I'm not going to arrive on time..."

"Oh... Aaron ... we promise children... Jack will be so sad..."

"Emily ... you know ..."

"Yeah... I know, I'm sorry... Look...Don't worry... I'll talk to him... we'll be fine. Take care, ok..."

"Ok...Give the children a kiss... I love you..."

"Love you, bye..."

Emily understood very well the demands of his work. That afternoon, Emily got the twins ready and left them watching cartoons, she spoke with Joanne:

"Joanne, can you do me a favor today afternoon? Can you can help me with the children? If you have any other commitment, that's ok..."

"Oh...No Emily, I can go with you!"

"Ok... great! Thank you..."

Emily breathed relieved:

"We'll leave in half an hour..."

Emily went upstairs to help Jack with his fantasy.

As she appeared in the bedroom door, Jack asked smiling:

"Daddy arrived?"

Emily came very close to him, she sat on his bed, he was standing, wearing his turkey fantasy:

"Look... Jack ..."

"...He is not going to come, isn't he?"

Emily looked at the boy in front of her, trying to ease the situation:

"No... But we'll. We'll be there ... ok?"

Jack nodded.

"That's the price to have a hero daddy!"

It was the day of Jack's presentation at school play; he would play the turkey in the Thanksgiving play.

"...You are the prettiest turkey I've ever seen..."

Jack smiled at her.

At school, Emily was sitting in the first few rows; Paget on her lap; and Joanne beside her, with Thomas on her lap. And the play began. Jack was doing everything right, super cute.

"Shhhh shhhhh ... Look at your brother ... look right there ...that's Jack..." she spoke to calm the twins, they were still too young to understand some things.

"I wanna go in there mommy..." Paget babbled.

"Right now... we can't sweetie... Keep looking at there...Look at Jack ..ok?..."

Emily was taking pictures with her cell and sending them to Hotch's phone. She managed to film a big part of Jack speech to send to Hotch.

The presentation ended and all parents went get their kids on stage. Emily and Joanne went there too, with the twins:

"Congratulations, Jack, you've been awesome!" Emily said, big smile.

The mother of another student told Emily:

"He is really good! Your son has a talent! Congratulations!"

Emily looked at Jack very emotional, she looked at the woman and:

"Thank you!"

She put Paget on the floor to be able to take Jack off from stage.

At school parking lot, Emily's cell phone rang.

"Hey... Did you see the pictures?"

"Yes... That was great! Can I talk to him..."

"Sure... Jack... is dad!"

"Hi Daddy!"

"Hi buddy... you were really great!"

"Did you see me?"

"Yeah... Emily sent me pictures and a little film... I'm very proud of you!"

"Thank you daddy!"

Jack passed the phone to Emily again:

"And how is the case?"

"It's still complicated yet..."

"Aaron, take care, please..."

Hotch hung up the phone, he was at the police station, with the team, reviewing the profile. The suspect was abducting, torturing and killing children, and had two more children missing, one 3 and other 5 years old. There was no way he does not remember his own children.

"It is increasingly difficult to be away from home right?" Rossi asked him, noticing the Hotch's longing eyes.

"Yes!"... "Today was the Jack's presentation at school..."

"Jack is a smart kid, I'm pretty sure he completely understands your absence..."

"I never managed to go to any presentation of him... Until he no longer wanted to be part of the theater... This year, Emily convinced him. We promised him the whole family would be there... The whole family… I said I would do anything to be able to go, but ... Once again, I failed…"

"He understands Aaron, moreover, Emily was there with the kids, right?"

"She sent me pictures and a movie in real time!"

"She's great..."

"She is more than that, Dave... She is... everything to me..."

Hotch spent three more days out home and they finally managed to arrest the right guy. He came home on Tuesday night. The children were already asleep. Emily was in the TV room watching TV. She was already waiting for him. Normally, when he spent many days away from home, he used to warn her when he was coming back, especially if it was night; to prevent her from frightened with some noise in the house. He entered, he heard the noise of the TV on and went there. Emily saw him and quickly got up to hug him tight:

"I missed you so much..."

"Me too..."

They were hugging each other for a while.

..."I'll take a shower, I'm very tired..."

"Ok... I'll go up with you..."

Before Hotch go to the bathroom, he went to see his children; he spent a few minutes just looking to little faces of his children, sleeping peacefully.

After they (Emily and Aaron) were lying in bed:

"Are you okay?... you seem a little... worried..."

"This case was very difficult; it greatly moved me; there were children involved..."

Emily hugged him, she was caressing his hair.

"The important thing is that you got him..."

"...After he killed five innocent children..."

"...He'll never do that to anyone again..."

"I was thinking about those parents….. how much they were suffering….. it is immeasurable... I put myself in their shoes... thinking about our children…"

"...You prevented him from doing this to other kids, to other families ..."

She always had the right word to console him. Hotch stared at her:

"I love you..."

"I love you too..."

The next day, at five-thirty in the morning, Hotch alarm cell rang at the same time every day. Hotch turned off the alarm, he hugged Emily tight and they continued sleeping. After about half an hour, Emily said sleepily still with closed eyes:

"Will not you get up?"

"I will... but not now... I want to have breakfast with my family today... I want to take Jack to school..."

At these words, Emily perked up:

"...Yay! So ... I think we can take a little while yet..."

Hands everywhere under the covers. Hotch was lying over her, kissing the curve of her neck. They were very excited, but ... someone just invaded the bedroom…

"Emy, I'll be late!... Daddy?"

Hotch quickly got away from her. The luck was that they were still on pajamas.

"...Jack... you have to knock son... before entering..."

"I didn't know you were here Dad..."

"Still... you always have to knock, ok..."

"Sorry, Dad..."

"Okay, come here..."

Jack walked over to his father Hotch hugged him:

"Dad missed you so much... I'll work later today... Just to have breakfast with you and I'll take you to school..."

"Coooll daddy!"

Before Hotch leave home:

"You think you'll travel again today?"

"I don't know yet….It has a stack of cases on my desk... But today I'll talk to Strauss about I take about 10 days leave, for our wedding... Then we can go travel a bit... Have you chosen where you want to go?"

"I'll think about it…"

They gave it a kiss and left Hotch with Jack.

The subject of marriage was a little bitter for Emily, it is clear that she wanted all her friends there. And since the last conversation with Morgan and Garcia, she had not seen or talked to any of them anymore. But everything was already prepared for the wedding, Hotch's clothes, children's clothes, Emily's dress, the buffet, they had only to choose the date and the destination of the trip.

That same afternoon, Emily went to get Jack at school and went to her parents' house:

"Oh, Emily, I'm glad to hear this marriage subject again…Finally!"

"Mother, so much has happened, so much, and Hotch is working nonstop. This work consumes him too much…. Tommy, please honey... don't touch this!"

Emily talked to her mother and took care of children, who adored grandmother's house, because they had many things to fiddle; Emily had to watch them all the time.

"Emily, look at that girl! Look at her outfit!"

"What about her outfit?"

"She is dressed like a boy…. sitting on the floor like a boy…"

"Mother, please… she is playing, she is more comfortable to use than pants…"

"I gave so many cute dresses for her…"

"Yeah… I know… she uses them…She's only two, let her be comfortable…."

"She has to learn since early…behavior like lady…"

Emily just turned eyes. 'Okay, let's change the subject.' She thought, deep breath:

"Ok, mother, let's not argue about my children clothes ok… I'm here to ask you a favor…"

Elisabeth just turned to face Emily, face surprised. She didn't even remember the last time Emily had asked her some favor.

In fact, Emily had already repented to ask. But she had no other way; she had no one else to ask it. Then she spoke quickly before she changed her mind:

"Mother, I was wondering if you can stay with the kids for a week for me to travel with Hotch?"

Emily spoke, but at the same time she was afraid of her mother's response, but the twinkle in her mother's eyes, she can realize that she liked, even before the woman open her mouth. Emily was a super profiler, anyway.

"It will be an honor, Emily!"

"I'm gonna ask Joanne to stay here too…"

"No, Emily… it's not necessary, we have a lot of employees here… so, you can give her a respite…"

"… Yeah… that's true…." Emily felt strange and funny the same time, she agreed with her mother about something. That's was NOT usual at all.

"I'm going to decorate the bedroom for them…"

"Mother… mother… it's not necessary… please… I don't wanna disturb..."

"It's a pleasure to me, Emily..."

"Ok. But don't make of this an event…"

At Strauss Office:

"Ok, Hotchner, provided that there were years since your last vacation, I can give you ten days off."

"Thank you. We're just choosing the right date. I'll inform you then."

"OK. I'm going to ask Dave to be a temporary chief."

"That's an excellent choice…" Hotch agreed.

Hotch was making his way out of her office:

"Hotchner?"

He turned to look at her.

"Congratulations for the wedding."

"Thank you."

And so he went out from there.

Emily and Hotch set a date, distributed the invitations. They invited all the BAU; Emily also invited some friends of her that were mothers of Jack's classmates; and her parents, of course. Hotch also invited his brother, it was a long time since they don't see each other and he thought that was an excellent opportunity. Emily spent over fifteen days working in the wedding preparations. They had decided to travel to Greece for their honeymoon. They had opted for a simple ceremony in the garden of their home for up to fifty people. It was only ten days to the wedding. Hotch and Emily Jack left school and went to BAU. Once there, Hotch went straight to his room, Emily went to JJ's room. They hugged each other happily. They talked a bit and:

"JJ, I want you and Will to be my wedding godparents!"

JJ's eyes filled with tears of joy.

"Sure, Emily!"

They talked a little more, but JJ was busy, there were stacks of cases. So Emily went out quickly from there. She went into another room, the knock the door:

"Come in…"

Emily opened the door and entered:

"Hey."

Penelope turned to see Emily.

"Hey, Em ... I… received…. The… wedding invitation…. congratulations!" Penelope stuttered.

Penelope was a little embarrassed, because since last conversation with Emily, she was supposed to make the first move, and she did not. After that conversation, she and Morgan were dating in tepid way, tepid but good, calm; and she associated that with the absence of Emily in their lives. It was strange, because she loved her friend, but she chose to leave it at that.

Emily, warmly, with a smile, replied:

"Thank you!"

Penelope wanted to apologize with Emily for not having looking for her:

"Look, Em, I thought a lot about our conversation, I would..."

Emily cut her off:

"That's Okay, Penelope, let's leave things in the past; it was almost two months ago..."

Penelope shone her willingness to forget the disagreements. She was with the old sweet way to be of always. She was the sweetest heart in the world.

"Pen, I know we all made our choices and we're facing the consequences... And I know that there are also the consequences that are simply imposed by life; beyond our own choices…. what I'm trying to say is that even though, our friendship has to end, or move away, you'll always be in my heart. And in name of that love and friendship, I want to make one last request: I want you to be godmother at my wedding…"

**And now: Will Penelope accept, right now she is happy with Morgan?  
I noticed one thing, it has nothing to do with the fanfic, I chose a name for Emily's maid, it was random, and is the same name of the actress who replaced her at CM, but was totally unintentionally, a huge coincidence. lol.  
Another thing: this fanfic is about to end. But I want to write another. Any suggestions?**


	38. Chapter 38

**As always, unfortunately, I own NothinG =(**  
**=) **  
**I want to thank lizabet ... she enlightened me that there is not godparents on a**  
**wedding! Godparents are just for baptisms. So, thank you so much for enlighten me. I apologize for that to everyone ok... I'm gona use the word 'bridesmaid', then.**

"Pen, I know we all made our choices and we're facing the consequences... And I know that there are also the consequences that are simply imposed by life; beyond our own choices…. what I'm trying to say is that even though, our friendship has to end, or move away, you'll always be in my heart. And in name of that love and friendship, I want to make one last request: I want you to be bridesmaid at my wedding…"

Emily kept talking:

"…if you don't want to, I'll completely understand…"

"Stop talking…" Penelope said; she got up and hugged Emily:

"Of course I accept…"

The two women were almost in tears.

Emily pulled away just to look Penelope, Emily grabbed both hands of Penelope:

"Thank you!... If you want… you can to go with Derek, you can choose your companion, ok?... But it is very important to me that you be my bridesmaid…."

That night, at Penelope's place:

"What do you want to talk so important, Penelope? I'm tired, I want to go home…" Morgan entered in protest.

"Ok, ok. Just sit…"

"Emily asked me to be her bridesmaid in her marriage…"

Morgan lowered his eyes, took a deep breath.

"So what?"

"I want you to be with me."

Morgan began to grumble:

Oh no… Penelope, please….no…. ask me anything but that…"

"Derek, your "no" brings a lot of information to me…"

"Like what?"

"If you don't want to go, it's because you still like her…"

"NO! I overcame….. and I just don't want recede…"

He got up from the couch to go.

"If that was it, I'm leaving…"

He returned, grabbed her chin lightly with his thumb and:

"…The answer is…. NO!" Out loud. "And I don't want hear a 'word' about it!"

He gave light kiss on her lips and left.

He did not want a setback, but it was a setback for her. She thought he had overcome.  
The remaining days were to the preparations for the wedding. Emily was very involved in that. But everything was already organized.

The wedding would be on Saturday evening. On Thursday before the wedding, at night, Penelope went to Morgan's place, it was almost ten o'clock at night. She had told him she was going to her house to rest; it had been a long and stressed week at work; and she wanted to be rested for the wedding day, but she needed to talk to him.

In full Thursday night, Morgan was freely on the couch, shirtless, surrounded by beer cans. Watching some fights on TV. He got up to open the door for her. It was weird for her because it was not common he drink during the work week.

"Hi baby girl, you changed your mind? Could not stay away from your hot here?..."

And he was soon grabbing her. Penelope never liked that pervert side of him. She felt uncomfortable; even more that she was not in the mood. She thought he had to know how to recognize it, the right time for every thing.

"Get your hands off me….. I'm not a piece of meat, Derek!"

"Wow…. Calm down… You came here…"

She cut off him:

"I came here to TALK…"

She was almost changing her mind because of so many beer cans scattered around the room. Still standing, Penelope said:

"I came here to know if you really will not go at the marriage with me…"

Morgan showed irritation at the time. He snorted before replying:

"NOT. I WILL NOT GO AT ANY WEDDING!" Out loud.

"…..So, just give me a reason…"

He looked at her face, he thought: 'for God's sake, for God's sake, I don't wanna hear about it,' face of supplication. He thought that, but he didn't know what to say.

"One reason, Derek, a good one, preferably…"

He sat on the sofa, legs apart, elbows resting on his leg, both hands covering his face, he thought for a few seconds.

"I don't want to see any of it..." He told.

"Why not?"

"I would not feel comfortable…"

"Still: why not?"

"I already told you….. I would not feel comfortable…after all that happened…"

"This "all" means you two gave the next step…Did you two have sex?"

Penelope's eyes were filling with tears, deep down, she knew the reason, but Morgan could not see her tears, he dared not look at her after all…"

"I don't wanna talk about it! This belong to me and her; and it was over, before you… It was over before even start…" He said, sadly.

"If it was over, it must be easy for you to explain to me why you don't wanna go…"

"I don't know what to say, Penelope, HOW can we explain a feeling? You know ?"

When he said this, he finally lifted his head to look at her (he was sitting and she was standing), he could see the tears in her eyes. She could see the desperation of man lost in his feelings, lost in his own fate, she was not a profiler, but she could recognize the pain in his eyes. So, she said:

"I think our relationship was a mistake, Derek. You are released from now on. I'm breaking up with you right now. If you love me…. if you have any interest in me….. you look for me at Emily's wedding…. otherwise, I'll assume you never forgot her, and I'll be really sorry for you… and I'll finally understand the reason you are not going with me, which it must be really hard to see the love of our live, marrying someone else…"

She left Morgan there, completely speechless. She went out from there crying, somehow she always knew those tears were aimed to fall. Morgan stood there helpless, not knowing what to say, much less what to do. That night, he finished indulge in drink.

The next night, Friday, JJ and Penelope had agreed to do a bachelor party for Emily, and Reid and Rossi also had arranged a bachelor party for Hotch.

Rossi and Reid knew that the most Hotch was going to do was stay in a cozy bar with good music in a pleasant environment. They knew very well Hotch to try any kind of adventure. But Rossi decided to try something new.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Reid asked, all worried.

Rossi was driving and they were going to get Hotch at his house.

"Relax, Reid, so…you can enjoy and see some beautiful demonstrations of female race."

"In fact…. bachelor parties usually end in ..."

"Reid, please ... no, not today…"

At Hotchner's:

Emily took leave of her children, recommended for them to stay good guys, well behaved and obey Joanne.

"Joanne, please, anything, you call me, ok, at the time."

Hotch went with her to the door. Dave had not arrived yet, but JJ and Penelope were already honking the car outside. At the door, before leaving, Hotch hugged Emily tight:

"You look beautiful…" Hotch whispered, with his most penetrating gaze he could do, that almost made Emily gave up going out with her friends.

They fell for a long, deep, super passionate kiss. JJ kept honking the car.

"I gotta go…" She broke the kiss.

He wasn't letting her go out of the hug.

"I gotta go! She insisted, sweet smile. He was having fun watch her faking try get out of the hug realizing that she was actually enjoying staying stuck in his arms. Finally he let her go:

"Behave!" He told letting her hand.

She looked at him with passionate eyes:

"You too!"

Penelope and JJ were taking Emily to a super trendy dance club. In front of the club, Emily said:

"I will not go in there…"

"Yes you will. It's your bachelorette party!"

"And you'll do everything we say…"

"...To not to regret later…"

"I thought you two were my friends…"

"We are. This is why we're doing this…"

"You will take a biiiiiiiiig step tomorrow..."

"A huge one… so just enjoy today..."

"Girls, I'm practically married, we'll just sign the papers….C'mon…"

"That means a lot…. changes everything, believe me…"

"I believe that…"

"I wish Spencer was here to tell you the statistics of that changes…"

"No! Okay! Let's go!"

Hotch frowned and:

"Dave, I'm not going in there…"

"Yes, you will… It's your last time…"

"I never entered in a place like that…"

Rossi made a face as he was listening to the world's greatest lie.

"Ok… But only when I was in college…"

"Dave, I told you he doesn't…."

"Spencer!"

Reid was super uncomfortable with the idea of a lot of women gyrating in front of him half naked, just imagine, he was sweating.

"Ok, I enter, but I will not stay too long in there…" Hotch warned.

"Ok… Fine… let's just have a few drinks…"

They entered. There were many scantily clad women gyrating on a stage. Hotch chose to sit at the most far table. Rossi agreed, he already felt very surprised Hotch had agreed to go in there.

The girls were already sitting at a table, they were already drinking.

"Emily, now we'll punish you with the best penalty in the world…"

"You are seeing this bunch of pretty and hot boys, right over there on the dance floor…."

Emily smiled shyly. Not that she was shy, but she was never going to clubs like that, neither in adolescence.

"So… all those beautiful and hot boys… rattling theirs skeletons…"

"You'll have to dance with everyone who came to invite you…"

…. "No ! No way…."

"Yes! You will !"

"You can't say 'no' to any of them…"

"Girls, I can't, Aaron ..."

"Forget about Aaron, at this very time… he is having fun seeing a bunch of naked women…"

"No… I doubt it. No way…"

Emily was sorry to have worn a dress very sexy, low-cut and short. Only after they were already there, she noticed that Penelope and JJ had the worst dress them clothes (jeans and shirt), and did not wear makeup. They did not want attention on purpose.

JJ sang:

"Here comes the first…"

"This hot brunette gives me a dance?"

Emily looked at the girls opened mouth, hesitated a little... and went to the dance floor. The man was delighting in her body. He grabbed her getting stronger. He also was a very cute guy, strong muscles.

Reid, Rossi and Hotch were just talking and drinking.

Sometimes Hotch looked at the girls wiggling, but he knew what he had at home was infinitely better.

Emily had already danced with three guys.

"Girls, please…"

"No…. two hours we're here and you only had three dances, is too little…"

"Here comes the fourth ..."

Emily looked, he was a very handsome man. It was a slow song. He kept running his hand through Emily's body, he suddenly pulled her hair, very lightly, tried to kiss her on the mouth. She jumped back:

"No!"

"Why not, my delight…"

Emily, mouth open, in the middle of the dance floor, clutching that man; speechless. She said the first thing that came to her mind:

"Actually, I'm a transvestite…"

Nothing against, but the man lost interest at the time. He was in doubt, but in the doubt, he preferred not to risk it. Emily got rid of him all happy.

And so she was making excuses for the guys, and getting rid of them. JJ and Penelope were having lots of fun with it. And Emily, when began to make excuses, she began to have fun too. She was dancing with a very cheeky guy, who had his hands on her ass during the dance, so she looked at him and:

"Can you take your fucking hands off my ass….please… Because, actually, I'm a lesbian, I'm just dancing with you to make jealous for my two girlfriends who are right over there…."

The man looked at JJ and Penelope.

"Whoa! This is the most wonderful thing I've ever heard in my whole life… I can't wait to fuck all three of you in bed…"

Emily ran his hand in between his legs and:

"I'm gonna have to pass…I don't think you have a 'tool' big enough for that…"

She came out laughing and let the man planted in the middle of the dance floor.

They had a great time, and spent the rest of the night dancing on the dance floor. The last song they danced to was "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. After that song, they decided to leave. After all, less than 24 hours for the wedding! And it was two in the morning.

At Emily's house door:

"Girls, I really enjoyed myself today... I thank you so much...I love you so much!"

They parted, Emily went to see the children and then went to her bedroom. Of course, Hotch was already there, waiting for her.

"Hi !" Emily said, shyly. "Long ago you arrived?"

"No. It's about half hour... actually...I just got out of the bath..."

"And I'm going for it. I'll be right back..."

After the bath, in her pajamas, Emily went under the covers next to Hotch. She hugged him hard:

"So, how was your night?"

"It was good..."

"Where Dave took you?"

"In a place that made me realize how much I'm lucky and blessed to have a wonderful woman by my side and that a few hours ago will be completely, entirely mine..."

He said that and turned to lay over her, with all the weight of his body on her, as if holding her. She just smiled sweetly at him.

"Is not it true, Ms. Hotchner?"

She smiled: "Yes!"

They were very happy.

"But now, let's sleep, we'll have a busy full day tomorrow..."

"Sleep?"

"Yes, Mr. Hotchner... Sleep!"

"And what am I supposed to do with it?"

Hotch took her hand and tucked inside his underwear.

"Oh .. Is that a gun?" She teased.

"It is! My weapon! And it's ready to shoot right inside you..."

"Then, put your gun down ... save it for tomorrow ..."

"Oh .. please ... Emily ..."

"Tomorrow! And no going to the bathroom ..."

"Oh... That is torture..."

"Let's sleep..."

**Next chapter: The wedding! and problaby... the end! Send me ideas for my new fanfic. pleaseee... thank you... lov u all.**


	39. Chapter 39

**I own nothing.**

The next day Emily's bachelorette party, she woke up with a little headache, but she soon left the bed, she had made a schedule for herself, she remembered her childhood super timed. 'Some things never change, "she thought. In fact, everything was well organized for the big day; they had hired professionals to do everything on the outside of the house, decoration, waiters, music. But it would be a very simple ceremony.

Emily left right after lunch to go to the salon, she was scheduled to do nails, hair and makeup. In general, with people she did not know very well, she was a well reserved person, even closed.

In the salon:

"So today you're getting married? Why don't you say so?" The attendant said.

"Oh, actually, we already live together, we have children ... We're just formalizing the situation..."

Emily had gone to that salon before, but it was not what she had befriended someone there. She just knew them. Sometimes she ran there at lunchtime, on working days from BAU to do the nails. The salon was near the BAU.

Emily was there with an attendant working on her feet toenails, when a well-known figure came talk to her:

"Look if is not Emily Prentiss!"

"Jordan!" Emily, all smiles.

"How long! How are you?"

"I'm very good ... And you?"

"I'm fine too...so long ago since you left the BAU, we never met ..."

"Sometimes I still go there, but it is much harder now ... Because of the children ..."

"Oh... yeah ! How are they? I saw the photos on Hotchner's desk ... You know I still work in the same building, right ?..."

"Oh...Yeah ...I know!... Kids are great!"

"I heard you're getting married ... you and Hotchner..."

"Yeah, well ... It's ...Today!"

..."Wow" ..

"Jordan... it is just a formality, just to sign the papers..."

"No ! It's not, Emily ! Marriage is a BIG step. It's a commitment, is the ratification of the union. It's very important and something really BIG..."

Emily heard all in silent, swallowing hard.

"... oh...Anyway, I didn't even do a guest list...sorry... but if you want to go..."

"Thank you so much! But I already have other plans..."

Jordan was a profiler, she never had a great sympathy for Emily because Emily was the reason she was unable deepen her relationship with Morgan. So if Emily had disrupted her romance with Morgan, 'then let's make a sweet revenge, on this well perfect occasion', she thought.

"So...Derek must be devastated!"

Emily stared at her, eyes wide opened. 'What does this woman know about my life? Well, I better be quiet', Emily thought.

Emily remained quiet but Jordan not:

"I bet he will not go at your wedding..."

"As I said before, it is not a party, just a simple ceremony, with my children, my family, to sign the papers, it's pretty natural that he would not want to go..."

The air was getting thick.

Jordan sat in the chair next to where Emily was sitting, just to look at her face to face as well:

"I don't know if you know, Emily….but I dated Derek... and it was wonderful time, he is a wonderful man, capable of anything for a woman who he is in love... The problem is that he only can see one woman in front of him: You! And it's not just sex, for therefore he has many women outside; excuse my sincerity, but much more beautiful than you... But you are lucky and you could still give the luxury of kicking his ass, after all he had done for you... I have closely followed his saga behind Ian Doyle for seven months. When he was not working on a case, he was hunting this man, he spent several sleepless nights at BAU. He had no life of its own, his life was hunt that man. And he did not even know you were alive. One day I asked him why he was doing all of it, if, in the end of the day, it would not bring you back, and he answered me: I don't know if God exists, I don't know if heaven exists ... but I know ...one day ... I will meet Emily again, because she is the woman of my life, and I want to be able to face her and say that I did justice for her..."

Emily's eyes were filled; she was struggling not to drop tears:

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because it's stamped on your face how much you are denying yourself the huge step that you are giving today, stating for yourself that it's NO BIG DEAL... Answer me that: which bride does this on her own wedding day? Which bride thinks her own marriage is not a big deal? And try to answer for yourself why this denial..."

"I'm sorry but I don't have to explain my life to you..."

Emily was very nervous and irritable, was a mixture of feelings. 'Why this mad had to dig up all these things, right now?' She thought.

"Yeah… I know… You don't have. Nevertheless...I just wanted to give you an advice, and you as an excellent profiler should know that the body speaks more than anything about our feelings..."

Jordan stood up and bent over to speak directly on Emily's ear:

"Do the following: try to look at your image stamped on this huge mirror right in front of you; try to face your own image, and if you can, the last thing you will see is a happy bride on her wedding day, which means that if what I just said was not true; it should not have messed with you so much..."

Emily kept looking down, almost trembling with nervous.

Still on Emily's ear, she finished:

"I bet that you don't wanna know why we break up, but I'm going to tell you: we were making love, and he simply called your name...instead mine..."

Then she stood up:

"Anyway Emily... I wish you a beautiful day...If you can…"

And she was gone.

Emily even dared to look at the damn mirror. She was very angry. It was a whole mixture of feelings, the woman had really can unearth things; touching wounds that Emily thought already be healed. Moreover, she added a lot of new information. Emily looked at the attendant (of course she had heard everything) and:

"What should I do?"

The attendant until startled by the question, she stopped her working at Emily's foot, for a moment, to be able to look at her:

"Today is your wedding and you still have doubts?"

After that, Emily decided to keep quiet, the more she talked, the worse the situation became.

She finished doing her nails and hair and makeup and was driving home, fighting not to shed tears and smudging makeup. Then she began to remember her children and Aaron; convincing herself that she was doing the right thing.

"I was in love with this man for six years, dammit!"

Suddenly, she felt strange to use the past tense.

"I love Aaron!" She repeated to herself.

She arrived at her house around 4 pm, the garden was already fully decorated. Everything was ready. Joanne was starting tidying children. Hotch was in the garden, coordinating employees of the buffet, and he did not notice Emily arrives.

She went into the bedroom and slipped in the bathtub. After a while she was there, Hotch appeared in the doorway of their bathroom:

"I did not notice you come, why don't you come to speak to me?"

"You're not supposed to see me before the wedding..."

"You're not ready!"

"I'm almost... You should be ready to receive the first guests..."

"We hired Hostess for what?"

He noticed something different about her, so he walked over to her and sat on the edge of the hot tub and:

"Is everything okay?"

She realized she was being harsh so far. She smiled a little and:

"Yes... It's just... an important day... right..."

"Yes... but...I thought you were sure about it..."

"I am…"

He was an excellent profiler, so he wasn't satisfied with this, but for now, he decided to accept this answer.

He was about to leave the bathroom; Emily called him back:

"Aaron, don't say anything, just hear me: I need to know that you love me, I need to feel it every day (It was more like a plea.)..."

He, again, walked over to her and sat on the edge of the hot tub and:

"Emily, I'm pretty sure about my feelings for you; but, if you are not, just… don't appear at that garden…."

He came out of the bathroom, leaving Emily there, thoughtfully: 'gee, instead of him to reassure me, say he love me, insisting; he just makes me more insecure. I did not need this right now'…

Hotch went to the guest room to get ready. It was very difficult to him to leave it to the excitement, he was a rational person, and today, the day of his wedding, he needed that Emily was sure of what she wanted, once and for all. He has already started to prepare himself for the worst, just in case she does not appear in the garden. Sometimes he wished not to be a profiler so competent and experienced; right now, he was hating himself for reading her so perfectly.

Six-thirty in the afternoon, the wedding was scheduled for six o'clock. All the guests were in the garden, as well as Hotch and the children. The decor was beautiful. The music is very nice. It was a beautiful sunset.

"So… today is the big day…" Rossi spoke to his friend.

"Yeah, Dave…"

"So… Despite three marriages, I could never understand why brides delay…"

"Neither do I..."

"…Enough to give a little fear, you know…"

"Yeah…"

"But… don't worry…. She'll come ..."

In fact, both profilers knew exactly what was happening, but it was not the right time to leave it all in the open. And Rossi said that to his friend but, deep down, he wasn't sure about nothing. He just wanted to reassure Hotch.

"So you really broke up with Morgan?"

"Yes JJ… He is so complicated…."

"Still about Emily?"

"I don't even know…. he says he has overcome, but I can not read him right…"

"And there are things that only those involved can realize…"

"I said that if he loved me, that he was to meet me here, at her marriage…"

"If he is really able to see Emily get married, it's because he overcame. You did the right thing, Pen…"

"Speaking of her, she is taking a long time, huh…"

"Go get her… She is long overdue. It's a lack of education with guests…" Emily's mother ordered her husband.

"She is going to call me by cell… just calm down, Liz…"

"NO! Go get her! Now!"

He went, he didn't want a scandal at the wedding of his only daughter. He knocked on her bedroom door:

"Emily, dear. Are you ready?"

"Almost daddy ..."

"I'll wait for you here okay?"

"No need, Dad…"

"Emily ..."

"Wait for me at the exit to the garden. I'll be right down…"

Inside the room, Emily was ready, at least on the outside. The dress was beautiful; taste is classic; elegant style; wide straps cross in the back; loosely gathered bust; soft satin; drops to floor length; **champagne bow Sandals, 10 cm heel height; a very delicate bridal headbands; **and pearl earrings. Emily was even with the bouquet in her hands, a very delicate, romantic and beautiful white roses and satin bow bouquet.

She was ready on the outside, but inside was a different story. She had a feeling she was stuck in place, she could not move, and she thought: 'it's really a difficult step'. Many things went through her mind. Suddenly, a message on her cell phone:

_"My love, if you are not married yet, it's because there's still time for us to be happy together. I'm waiting for you at the gazebo in the forest park. This is our last chance; I'm here now, waiting for you. I love you. _Signed Derek_._

Emily was further prey on the ground, with the bouquet in one hand and cell phone in the other. The garden was at the back of the house, so no one would see if she leaves. In her thought she already knew what to do. Then she opened the door of her bedroom and ...

**I know, I know, don't scold at me, don't curse me. I know I was bad; I promise to public next chapter very soon.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hi guys, I'm soooooooo sad...this is the last chapter ! I want to apologize once again for the many grammar errors, because as I said before, English is not my first language. I want to thank everyone who followed this story. I want to apologize if some people didn't like it. And I want to thank: jenny crum; believesvueo; lizzabet; shellrobo23; AllieDJ; Aaron'Dimples'Hotchner; NicknHotchfan; SSAEmilyP; MilaPren; ncis4ever21; starryeyes; StarlightShivers; romiross; Tempremental'Bones; rmpcmfan; Firefly; Storm-SA; Smiley; Sapphiredark; JM; JeremyAndJane; KazyCMfan; Aaliayah; Emilyhotchnerforever and the participation of everyone, sorry I forgot someone.**

**And as always, I own nothing.**

Emily came downstairs quickly, bouquet in one hand and cell phone in the other. She threw the phone on the couch. Before leave her bedroom, she had sent a message to Morgan:

Unfortunately I would not want to have to send this to you. I will not say it's over, because it little existed. But no matter what happens. You will always be so. So special to me. It seems that you always had… My instruction manual…Because you decipher my dreams…Because you know what I like…So you already must know that, right now, I'm going to marry the man of my life. May be you hate me for that. But here inside me, you will always be so. Because love, Ah love never ends… Signed Emily.

Her father was standing the front of the door to the garden, in the living room, she reached behind him and:

"Dad, I'm ready!" She felt sorry for Morgan, but she was really happy and decided.

Her father just looked at her, smiling:

"Look at you, darling… I confess that I had already given up on seeing you dressed like this. You look amazing, the most incredible vision I've had my whole life…"

"Oh… Daddy… thank you! But don't make cry now…I don't want to ruin my makeup…"

Emily's mother came into the room with the three children:

"Come on Emily, you're already too late…"

Elizabeth down to talk with her grandchildren:

"…You will do as grandma taught, just walk in front of mom, ok… And you, Jack, goes behind the twins, leading alliances…"

"Mother, we have trained it with them… They know what they had to do..."

"Ok I'll wait in the garden ..."

Elisabeth returned just to say:

"You are very beautiful, Emily…"

"Thank you, mother…"

Emily felt glad; it was very difficult for Elisabeth to show sentiment, kindness.

Emily's mother left, she joined the other guests. Emily, accompanied by her father and the children, came to the door that led into the garden.

She gave her arm to his father and they walked to the entrance of the garden. Hotch saw her from afar, Yeah ! He had a heart ! And this heart started to beat nonstop. He smiled at her, forming the beautiful dimples. She smiled back at him, it was as if there were only two there.

They walk slowly among the guests until the small altar, Emily could only see Hotch in front of her, and he kept staring at her all the time; those blessed piercing eyes. He was mesmerized by her beauty. Emily's father gave her to Hotch, who took her hand. And quickly he spoke in her ear:

"You are stunning…"

She gave a little smile of satisfaction. (Same as the one she gave in the episode Hit and Run, when he told something on her ear while they danced).

After signing the papers and the beautiful words of the priest, they exchanged the rings:

"We will go together until where life exists…" He put the ring on her finger.

"We will go together until where life exists …" She put the ring on his finger.

Emily and Aaron were facing each other, he held both her hands with his own, he pulled her to her lightly kiss on the mouth. They exchanged 'I love you'.

Still holding both hands of Emily, Hotch turned up just a little and for the guests (He had already asked to the DJ to put music To Build a Home at the time of his speech):

"I just want to say that the speech will be on my own, I promise to be quick. I want to thank the presence of everyone here, I want to thank my in-laws for being able to produce this perfect kind of female race (Emily's parents smiled proud, so did she); for our friends that are a family to us; I want to thank God for having blessed me with this beautiful family, for trusting me with these wonderful kids, for me to take care of them…"

He looked only to Emily now, to finish his speech, still holding her hands, he said:

…"I want to thank God for the day you have entered in my office…..with that huge box in your hands and that big smile on your face, with the most bright eyes I've ever seen, and it is that same brightness that illuminate every day of my life; I want to thank you for having waited so long for me, for not giving up on me. I thank you for our children, and especially for making me believe that I could be happy again. And I'm very lucky to have a woman as brave and strong, and beautiful… just for me…. I want to tell you Emily Prentiss Hotchner that until not arrives the day I turn in dust again, want to spend the rest of my life with you…I love you"

Emily was in tears, of course. Large smile. She wasn't used to broke like that in front of everyone, but, dammit ! It was her wedding ! Then, they embraced thrilled.

While they were embraced, Emily said into his ear, just to him hear:

"I love your gaze…even when you smile. So I end returning it… 'Cause I can not contain the joy of having it in my own eyes ...I love you too…"

Of course, he smiled back at her; he took another light kiss on her lips.

Afterward, they posed for several pictures with all the guests, with the children, and only two of them. They went to every table to thank the presence of each one. Finally, after three hours of partying, Emily managed to sit for a little talk with her inseparable friends.

"I'm so happy I'm even scared…"

"You deserve, Emily, to be happy, after all that happened…" Penelope said.

"…You and Hotch…" JJ agreed.

"We all deserve to be happy…" Emily said.

Paget had taken a tumble in the middle of the small dance floor, so Emily ran to her, that was crying a lot.

"So… Pen, it seems he does not come right?"

"Yeah, JJ, it seems not…"

"Don't be sad, Pen… He must have a good explanation…"

"JJ, as he said, there is no explanation, there is no way to explain a feeling... or we feel, or not…" Penelope concluded.

"That's true…"

"We tried, I knew the all the time I was risking to suffer, I always knew from the beginning that he loved Emily. And I knew he was trying to forget her, I'm not stupid, and I can not blame him for failing ... But I don't regret, I had wonderful time with him… "

"At least for now…leave it that way…"

"Yeah… at least for now…"

"So he must be suffering right now…"

"I just feel sorry for him, but I can not do anything else…"

"You, friend, can not even think…"

"Maybe I should have married Kevin…"

The two friends laughed.

After rescue the girl, Emily was dancing clinging to her husband, a very romantic song, it was near midnight, almost everyone had left the party; they began to whisper in the ear of one another; during the dance:

"It's time for me to kidnap you…" He said.

"Yeah?"

"mmhmm"

"And where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise…"

"mmmm… and what you gonna do to me?"

"Just to start, I want you out of that beautiful dress… then I'm going to kiss and fondle your wonderful naked body…. (Emily's mouth opened more every word he said) then….. I'm going to start working on your breasts, sucking your nipples…."

Emily pulled back only slightly to face him. She was an expression of desire on her face, biting her lip. Mouth opened. His wish was devouring her mouth right there. But the kids were there, as well as Emily's parents too. Then he said:

"Let's go?"

"And the kids?"

"Don't worry, everything is organized…"

"Just be mine tonight…" He whispered in her ear, causing shiver all over her body:

She smiled discreetly.

And there was Aaron Hotchner taking Emily to the presidential suite in the best hotel in town. The view from the balcony of the hotel was wonderful, they toasted with champagne, Emily was standing on the balcony, watching the view; Hotch was behind her, hugging her from behind. He put the glass down and began kissing the curve of her neck, and began to pass his tongue in her ear curve, Emily shivered with pleasure he was causing her on body. She dropped the cup and turned to kiss him. It was THE KISS. The kiss was long, deep, slow, a kiss that they were desiring throughout the marriage ceremony. It was a kiss where no matter what, just Hotch shaking his warm hands on Emily's back; it was as if nothing else existed; there was anxiety, that was not little; Hotch's fingers asking for Emily's clothes if her body would welcome a madman so passionate, tongues were loosened for a moment just to say 'yes'; Emily's answer came a little hoarse. Easy is hugging, shaking hands, kissing with eyes closed.

Difficult is to feel the energy that is transmitted; the energy that takes care of the whole body like an electric current when we touch the right person. And this time both were completely sure they were with the right person. After the kiss, they rolled in bed for hours. Obviously they had made love before, thousands of times, but this time was different, it was a real exchange of energy, they really felt one was a part of another; the crowning beauty of love. No more trials to explore each other's bodies; only existed now, sacred and unique moment in time that allows happiness. All senses filled the environment: the beauty of letting touch and surrendering; the swap of tastes and liquids; moans formed the perfect soundtrack; one was the most beautiful sight to another, and the smell in the air was the proof of the infinite desire and needy that one had from the other; and every tremor of them exploded in orgasm sensation of fullness of love; and life has become more beautiful for them. After hours making love, sweaty bodies of pleasure; Emily with her head lying on Hotch's chest:

"Do you think the kids will be fine ten days away from us?"

"I think so… They need to get used to, Emily…"

"Get used to what?"

"Being without parents… sometimes. Be independent…."

"Yeah, I know…"

"For years I didn't take a vacation. These ten days in Greece, next to my wife, will do very well for me…"

"I think we deserve it, right?"

"For sure…"

"And I hope that our children will not make mad my mother"…

Hotch laughed.

"To what time you checked the flight tomorrow?"

"Three o'clock in the afternoon…"

"So let's try to sleep, I still want to spend some time with the kids tomorrow, before the trip…"

"Only after the huge breakfast that I have ordered for us…"

"Emily looked at him gratefully…"

"I hope you stay that way throughout our marriage, Mr. Hotchner…"

They talked a little more and slept.

The next morning, Sunday, after the huge breakfast in the hotel room (they were really hungry); Hotch and Emily went to Emily's parents' house, the kids were already there. Once Tommy saw his mother, he ran to her:

"Mommy!"

"Hi sweetie…" Emily took the child in her arms.

"Paget was lying on the sofa ending up in yogurt…" She was more independent. A Prentiss authentic, really. She had no Prentiss in name, but in the blood, was the typical mother. A miniature Emily.

They stayed the rest of the morning and had lunch there. Emily's parents' chauffeur would take them to the airport. The bags were already in the car. Hotch down to talk to Jack:

"Jack, I need you to help me take care of your younger siblings. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Dad. Will you take too long to come back?"

"No, just ten days, it is as if I am in one case, ok?"

"Ok, Dad…"

The twins cried a little; Emily heart broke a little, but she was happy.

"Mother, please do not forget to ask the driver to go every day at home, food Sergio, and Max (Max was the golden retriever)… And… anything A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G with the children you call me ok, for God's sake…"

So they departed and left for Greece. On Monday, at BAU. For most of them it was a normal day, another week of work starting. For others, it was the beginning of a new life, a step that was to start closing the other. Morgan arrived, put his briefcase on his desk, there was a candy and a note there for him:

"It will be hard to pretend that nothing happened, but let's do this: let's keep what was good, and throw out the bad. I want you to know that there remained no bitterness on my part, you still occupies the same space of my heart"; your FRIEND Penelope.

He was grateful that at least the friendship with her was not over.

In Greece:

Emily and Hotch were boating, a beautiful sunset, late afternoon. Hotch was hugging Emily by behind, contemplating the sea:

"Remember when we were returning from a case and you told me that the suspect, who was actually a victim, he was not alone?"

"Yeah…"

"I know what you really wanted mean…."

"What?"

"I know, actually, you were telling that to me…. That I was not alone…"

Silence… Silence gives consent.

"Do you remember when you stood beside me in the hospital every day?"

"Yeah…"

"I felt your presence even when he was unconscious… I felt your gaze on me, and through it, I could feel all your love… And that gives me the strength to want to live…"

Silence…

"Do you remember when you were going to pick me up and take me to work?"

"Yeah…"

"I knew how much you cared…."

Emily turned to face him, still embraced:

"So you're telling me that you always knew ... that I love you?"

His beautiful smile, dimples:

"Yes, I always knew….First I denied because I was married, I was starting a family, then… came the divorce, but also all those tragedies, both in my life and in yours… And when you came back from Paris..."

"You were dating her…"

"…..I could not date a subordinate… And I knew it would force you out at BAU, and I did not want that… I was selfish, I didn't want to risk it, and I wanted to see you every day there next to me….. how many times I spent as much time I could just watching you through the window blinds of my office…."

She gave a large smile to him.

"But I always knew…"

"Knew what?"

"We are born to each other…"

And the kiss!

THE END

**I want to ask a thousand apologies to those who were angry with me. I'll try to explain. I tried to make this fan fic closest possible according to what I see of TV characters. I really think Emily Prentiss always been in love with Aaron Hotchner. But he never even notice that, or he hide very well. I really think Derek loves Emily, he is a womanizer, yes, but what he did for her was something really big, things only who is love does. The only thing that I think is fiction in my fanfic is that the on the real TV show I never saw anything that suggested that Hotch had some kind of feeling for Emily. So, I invented it. And I decided that in this fan fic, she would stay with Hotch, because she loves him. And since in the television show she had not a chance with him, in this fan fic she had!**

**And I also want to clarify that Emily felt a physical attraction for Morgan; and she loves him AS A FRIEND, that's why she always stops to think about him; she feels guilt about his situation; so it's natural she feels sad for him.**

**And please revews, I want to know your opinion, even if you hated it. I'm going to write another one... very soon... any suggestions? THANK YOU ALL... LOVEEEE YOU!**


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